5||0|808|0|yes
0|0|0|||1||Prior Art|sideways||14:00:23|10/11/2002|[updated:LAST EDITED ON 10-11-02 AT 03:43 PM (EDT)]Ick%2C I started two subjects in a row. I%27m in danger of garrulosity. Oh well%2C this is too good not to share%2C and not enough people follow the GNDN link anyway.%0D%0A%0D%0A%5Blink%3Athesurrealist.co.uk%2Fpriorart.cgi%7C%22Gryphon is a screwdriver that shreds documents%2C encrypts all of its data and automatically updates your weblog when used.%22%5D %0D%0A%0D%0AMike Thedford%0D%0ADark Nation%0D%0ADictator at Large
1|1|0|||1||RE%3A Prior Art|Xervis||17:55:33|10/11/2002|oh sweet Bajesus%2C that is funny.%0D%0A%0D%0AIt%27s a shopping bag that exists in five dimensions and cannot be moved. %0D%0AIt%27s a cardboard box that cleans itself%2C contains the entire Encyclopaedia Britannica and removes stubborn stains. %0D%0AIt%27s a shoe that dispenses tea or coffee%2C glows with an eerie green light and looks better than it sounds. %0D%0AIt%27s an alcoholic drink that costs less than a penny a day to run%2C communicates with other copies of itself and increases your sex appeal. %28w00t%29%0D%0A%0D%0A%0D%0AI just thought I%27d post a couple of the funnier ones I found digging though it.%0D%0A%0D%0AThe Rambling postings of a %0D%0ARandom idiot.%0D%0A%0D%0AXervis
3|2|1|||1||RE%3A Prior Art|Dreamshadow||13:18:13|10/13/2002|%0D%0AFor the Schlock Mercenary Fans out there%3A%0D%0A%0D%0AIt%27s a rocket launcher that moulds itself to fit your arm%2C and makes soothing noises.%0D%0A%0D%0A%27Ominous HUMMMMMM%27%0D%0A%0D%0Ahttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.schlockmercenary.com%0D%0A%0D%0ATom %27Dreamshadow%27 Tjarks%0D%0A------------------------%0D%0AStudent of Kawaii-fu%2C way of the exploding wai%21
2|1|0|||||RE%3A Prior Art|Ebony||18:20:27|10/11/2002|%3EIck%2C I started two subjects in a row. I%27m in danger of garrulosity. Oh %0D%0A%3Ewell%2C this is too good not to share%2C and not enough people follow the %0D%0A%3EGNDN link anyway. %0D%0A%0D%0A%22Step right up%0D%0Astep right up%0D%0Astep right up%0D%0AEveryone%27s a winner%2C bargains galore%0D%0AThat%27s right%2C you too can be the proud owner%0D%0AOf the quality goes in before the name goes on%0D%0AOne-tenth of a dollar%0D%0Aone-tenth of a dollar%0D%0Awe got service after sales%0D%0AYou need perfume%3F we got perfume%0D%0Ahow %27bout an engagement ring%3F%0D%0ASomething for the little lady%0D%0Asomething for the little lady%0D%0ASomething for the little lady%2C hmm%0D%0AThree for a dollar%0D%0AWe got a year-end clearance%2C we got a white sale%0D%0AAnd a smoke-damaged furniture%0D%0Ayou can drive it away today%0D%0AAct now%2C act now%0D%0Aand receive as our gift%2C our gift to you%0D%0AThey come in all colors%2C one size fits all%0D%0ANo muss%2C no fuss%2C no spills%0D%0Ayou%27re tired of kitchen drudgery%0D%0AEverything must go%0D%0Agoing out of business%0D%0Agoing out of business%0D%0AGoing out of business sale%0D%0AFifty percent off original retail price%0D%0Askip the middle man%0D%0ADon%27t settle for less%0D%0AHow do we do it%3F%0D%0Ahow do we do it%3F%0D%0Avolume%2C volume%2C turn up the volume%0D%0ANow you%27ve heard it advertised%2C don%27t hesitate%0D%0ADon%27t be caught with your drawers down%0D%0ADon%27t be caught with your drawers down%0D%0AYou can step right up%2C step right up%0D%0A%0D%0AThat%27s right%2C it filets%2C it chops%0D%0AIt dices%2C slices%2C never stops%0D%0Alasts a lifetime%2C mows your lawn%0D%0AAnd it mows your lawn%0D%0Aand it picks up the kids from school%0D%0AIt gets rid of unwanted facial hair%0D%0Ait gets rid of embarrassing age spots%0D%0AIt delivers a pizza%0D%0Aand it lengthens%2C and it strengthens%0D%0AAnd it finds that slipper that%27s been at large%0D%0Aunder the chaise longe for several weeks%0D%0AAnd it plays a mean Rhythm Master%0D%0AIt makes excuses for unwanted lipstick on your collar%0D%0AAnd it%27s only a dollar%2C step right up%0D%0Ait%27s only a dollar%2C step right up%0D%0A%0D%0A%27Cause it forges your signature.%0D%0AIf not completely satisfied%0D%0Amail back unused portion of product%0D%0AFor complete refund of price of purchase%0D%0AStep right up%0D%0APlease allow thirty days for delivery%0D%0Adon%27t be fooled by cheap imitations%0D%0AYou can live in it%2C live in it%0D%0Alaugh in it%2C love in it%0D%0ASwim in it%2C sleep in it%0D%0ALive in it%2C swim in it%0D%0Alaugh in it%2C love in it%0D%0ARemoves embarrassing stains from contour sheets%0D%0Athat%27s right%0D%0AAnd it entertains visiting relatives%0D%0Ait turns a sandwich into a banquet%0D%0ATired of being the life of the party%3F%0D%0AChange your shorts%0D%0Achange your life%0D%0Achange your life%0D%0AChange into a nine-year-old Hindu boy%0D%0Aget rid of your wife%0D%0AAnd it walks your dog%2C and it doubles on sax%0D%0ADoubles on sax%2C you can jump back Jack%0D%0Asee you later alligator%0D%0ASee you later alligator%0D%0AAnd it steals your car%0D%0AIt gets rid of your gambling debts%2C it quits smoking%0D%0AIt%27s a friend%2C and it%27s a companion%0D%0AAnd it%27s the only product you will ever need%0D%0AFollow these easy assembly instructions%0D%0Ait never needs ironing%0D%0AWell it takes weights off hips%2C bust%0D%0Athighs%2C chin%2C midriff%0D%0AGives you dandruff%2C and it finds you a job%0D%0Ait is a job%0D%0AAnd it strips the phone company free%0D%0Atake ten for five exchange%0D%0AAnd it gives you denture breath%0D%0AAnd you know it%27s a friend%2C and it%27s a companion%0D%0AAnd it gets rid of your traveler%27s checks%0D%0AIt%27s new%2C it%27s improved%2C it%27s old-fashioned%0D%0AWell it takes care of business%0D%0Anever needs winding%0D%0ANever needs winding%0D%0Anever needs winding%0D%0AGets rid of blackheads%2C the heartbreak of psoriasis%0D%0AChrist%2C you don%27t know the meaning of heartbreak%2C buddy%0D%0AC%27mon%2C c%27mon%2C c%27mon%2C c%27mon%0D%0A%27Cause it%27s effective%2C it%27s defective%0D%0Ait creates household odors%0D%0AIt disinfects%2C it sanitizes for your protection%0D%0AIt gives you an erection%0D%0Ait wins the election%0D%0AWhy put up with painful corns any longer%3F%0D%0AIt%27s a redeemable coupon%2C no obligation%0D%0Ano salesman will visit your home%0D%0AWe got a jackpot%2C jackpot%2C jackpot%0D%0Aprizes%2C prizes%2C prizes%2C all work guaranteed%0D%0AHow do we do it%0D%0Ahow do we do it%0D%0Ahow do we do it%0D%0Ahow do we do it%0D%0AWe need your business%0D%0Awe%27re going out of business%0D%0AWe%27ll give you the business%0D%0AGet on the business%0D%0Aend of our going-out-of-business sale%0D%0AReceive our free brochure%2C free brochure%0D%0ARead the easy-to-follow assembly instructions%0D%0Abatteries not included%0D%0ASend before midnight tomorrow%2C terms available%0D%0AStep right up%0D%0Astep right up%0D%0Astep right up%0D%0AYou got it buddy%3A the large print giveth%0D%0Aand the small print taketh away%0D%0AStep right up%0D%0Ayou can step right up%0D%0Ayou can step right up%0D%0AC%27mon step right up%0D%0A%28Get away from me kid%2C you bother me...%29%0D%0AStep right up%2C step right up%2C step right up%0D%0Ac%27mon%2C c%27mon%2C c%27mon%2C c%27mon%2C c%27mon%0D%0AStep right up%0D%0Ayou can step right up%0D%0Ac%27mon and step right up%0D%0AC%27mon and step right up%22%0D%0A%0D%0A-- %22Step Right Up%22 by Tom Waits%2C Small Change%0D%0A%0D%0AEbony the Black Dragon%0D%0Aaka Draco Draconis Ebenium%0D%0Aknown to Island Records as Aaron F. Johnson%2C%0D%0ASenior Editor%2C Living Room Games%0D%0Ahttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.lrgames.com%0D%0A%0D%0A%28And Waits aficionado%29 %0D%0A%0D%0A%0D%0A
4|1|0|||1||RE%3A Prior Art|Matrix Dragon||04:02:54|10/14/2002|%3EIck%2C I started two subjects in a row. I%27m in danger of garrulosity. Oh %0D%0A%3Ewell%2C this is too good not to share%2C and not enough people follow the %0D%0A%3EGNDN link anyway. %0D%0A%0D%0A%22Matrix Dragon is a credit card that swears%21%22%0D%0A%22MegaZone is a spanner that glows in the dark%21 It doesn%27t distract you from your work.%22%0D%0A%22Truss is a crematorium that lasts for up to a week%21 It waters your plants and has been blessed by a priest.%22%0D%0A%22Utena is like a normal sock%2C but it detects explosives.%22%0D%0A%0D%0AWho comes up with this stuff%3F But at least they got me mostly right.%0D%0A%0D%0AMatrix Dragon%2C Swearing Credit Card%0D%0A%22Why else would they try to kill me%3F%22%0D%0A%22Is this a multiple choice question%3F%22%0D%0A- Bester and Susan Ivanova %0D%0A%0D%0A       %0D%0A
5|2|4|||1||RE%3A Prior Art|Xervis||15:35:01|10/14/2002|%3E%22Matrix Dragon is a credit card that swears%21%22 %0D%0A%0D%0Awhat%2C when they swip you through the card reader do you shout %22 wrong way %0D%0AA%24%24Ho%21e%22%3F%0D%0A%0D%0Aj%2Fk%2C of course%0D%0A%0D%0AThe Rambling postings of a %0D%0ARandom idiot.%0D%0A%0D%0AXervis