10||0|681|0|yes
0|0|0|||||Lutheran Funerals...|Redneck||19:52:15|03/01/2003|%0D%0A... if anyone here is either Lutheran or lapsed Lutheran%2C can you tell me...%0D%0A%0D%0A... is it considered normal for the pastor%2Fpriest%2Fpadre of a Lutheran church to know absolutely NOTHING about a member of the flock%3F%0D%0A%0D%0AIs it acceptable for said priest to smile like a politician through an hour-long ceremony%2C which refers to the deceased for only one two-minute obituary%2C and otherwise uses the name to fill in the blanks of an obviously form sermon%3F%0D%0A%0D%0AToday%27s funeral experience tops my prior record for most personally offensive funeral ever%2C a Methodist affair also featuring a gleefully smiling preacher %28two of them- one male%2C one female%29... which peaked at the moment when one officio %28the female preacher%29 compared my late great-aunt to the title character from the 1970s stinker TV show %5Bi%5DWonder Woman%2C%5B%2Fi%5D specifically naming Linda Carter. %0D%0A%0D%0AAt least the people at the Methodist ceremony -knew- my Aunt Dixie Mae.  %0D%0A%0D%0AThis funeral%2C from top to bottom%2C was an example of empty ceremony and ritual%2C including the mass chanting of Biblical scripture and the Lord%27s Prayer. The preacher was %5Bb%5Dso%5B%2Fb%5D obviously using the opportunity to sell Jesus %28and sell him like Ginsu knives or the Ronco rotisserie grill- buy Jesus now and get%2C at no extra charge%2C a heavenly mansion in beautiful New Jerusalem%21%29. %0D%0A%0D%0AMore to the point%2C he made no attempt whatsover to include my cousin Sonya- the deceased- in the ceremony%2C except to say%2C %22Sonya was a good strong Christian and you should be like her.%22 He was unable to say anything specific about Sonya at all that wasn%27t written on the program booklet. Either he never -knew- his parishoner%2C or he just plain didn%27t care. %0D%0A%0D%0AIf that%27s Lutheranism%2C fuck it.%0D%0A%0D%0ARedneck%0D%0A%0D%0A
1|1|0|||1||RE%3A Lutheran Funerals...|Offsides||00:23:47|03/02/2003|Never been to a Lutheran funeral%2C but my one experience in a Lutheran Church%2C a friend%27s first Communion%2C was very interesting %28and I%27m Jewish%21%29  The pastor talked about the quality of Chutzpah%2C and I told him afterwards that it was the best description of the concept I%27d ever heard from a non-Jew.  So I%27m guess ing that it%27s a matter of individual pastors%2Fcongregations%2C and YMMV.%0D%0A%0D%0AOffsides%0D%0A%0D%0AI have looked into the abyss%2C and the abyss looked also back into me.%0D%0A  Neither of us liked what we saw.%0D%0AEPU RCW %23%26pi%3B%0D%0A%23include %3Cstdsig.h%3E%0D%0A%0D%0A
2|1|0|||||RE%3A Lutheran Funerals...|Phantom||09:17:24|03/03/2003|Red%2C%0D%0AI sorry for your loss and the unfortunate experience at the funeral adding to your grief.%0D%0A%0D%0A%3E... if anyone here is either Lutheran or lapsed Lutheran%2C can you tell %0D%0A%3Eme... %0D%0A%3E%0D%0A%3E... is it considered normal for the pastor%2Fpriest%2Fpadre of a Lutheran %0D%0A%3Echurch to know absolutely NOTHING about a member of the flock%3F %0D%0A%3E%0D%0A%0D%0AUnfortunately yes%2C especially with the younger Crowd of Reverends %26 not just the Lutherans.  My old church did not have a permanent Reverend%2C but rented a retired one.  So the Guy who performed my mother%27s funeral didn%27t even know her.%0D%0A%0D%0A%3EIs it acceptable for said priest to smile like a politician through an %0D%0A%3Ehour-long ceremony%2C which refers to the deceased for only one %0D%0A%3Etwo-minute obituary%2C and otherwise uses the name to fill in the blanks %0D%0A%3Eof an obviously form sermon%3F %0D%0A%3E%0D%0A%0D%0AIn today%27s Religious BUSINESS it is not always cost effective.%0D%0A%0D%0A%3EMore to the point%2C he made no attempt whatsover to include my cousin %0D%0A%3ESonya- the deceased- in the ceremony%2C except to say%2C %22Sonya was a good %0D%0A%3Estrong Christian and you should be like her.%22 He was unable to say %0D%0A%3Eanything specific about Sonya at all that wasn%27t written on the %0D%0A%3Eprogram booklet. Either he never -knew- his parishoner%2C or he just %0D%0A%3Eplain didn%27t care. %0D%0A%3E%0D%0A%3EIf that%27s Lutheranism%2C fuck it. %0D%0A%0D%0AUnfortunately it is not just Lutherans%2C these days more and more Religious leaders don%92t care about people only numbers and the bottom line.%0D%0A%0D%0AMy condolences.%0D%0ASincerely%0D%0AThe Phantom%0D%0A
3|2|2|||1||RE%3A Lutheran Funerals...|PCHammer||14:14:46|03/03/2003|And avoiding lawsuits.%0D%0A%0D%0ABut that%27s the most basic driving force of all aspects of modern society%2C in case you haven%27t noticed.%0D%0A%0D%0A- Lord Ilmartello%21%0D%0A%5Bi%5DNever let it be said a low sample size keeps anyone from forming a sweeping generalization.%5B%2Fi%5D
4|3|3|||||RE%3A Lutheran Funerals...|Phantom||07:14:37|03/04/2003|%3EAnd avoiding lawsuits. %0D%0A%3E%0D%0A%3EBut that%27s the most basic driving force of all aspects of modern %0D%0A%3Esociety%2C in case you haven%27t noticed. %0D%0A%3E%0D%0AYes I have noticed and am saddened by the loss of humanity in humans.%0D%0A%0D%0APhantom%0D%0A%0D%0AWhat happened to Truth%3F%0D%0AWhat happened to Justice%3F%0D%0AWhat happened to Honor%3F
5|4|4|||1||Prepare to feel the power ... of ATTORNEY%21|PCHammer||10:51:06|03/04/2003|%3EWhat happened to Truth%3F%0D%0A%0D%0AToo offensive.%0D%0A%0D%0A%3EWhat happened to Justice%3F%0D%0A%0D%0AToo unfair.%0D%0A%0D%0A%3EWhat happened to Honor%3F%0D%0A%0D%0AToo demanding.%0D%0A%0D%0A- Lord Ilmartello%21%0D%0A%5Bi%5D%22The word I%27m looking for ... I can%27t say%2C because there are preschool toys present.%22%5B%2Fi%5D
7|5|5|||||RE%3A Prepare to feel the power ... of ATTORNEY%21|Phantom||06:51:30|03/05/2003|%3E%3EWhat happened to Truth%3F%0D%0A%3E%0D%0A%3EToo offensive. %0D%0A%3E%0D%0A%3E%3EWhat happened to Justice%3F%0D%0A%3E%0D%0A%3EToo unfair. %0D%0A%3E%0D%0A%3E%3EWhat happened to Honor%3F%0D%0A%3E%0D%0A%3EToo demanding. %0D%0A%3E%0D%0A%2ASigh%2A%2C I want my money back.%0D%0APhantom%0D%0A%28Life is a Lemon and I want my money back - Meatloaf%3A Bat out of Hell 2%29
9|3|3|||||RE%3A Lutheran Funerals...|WengFook||03:01:40|03/06/2003|%0D%0AIt gives me great pleasure to say that not all%0D%0Achurches are like that.
6|1|0|||1||RE%3A Lutheran Funerals...|Fanatic||11:10:09|03/04/2003|Hey you didn%27t miss much for the funeral of my Grandmother then.. %0D%0AMy one cousin and Aunts pretty much ran the deal. Their Preachers%2C their ideas and OH Yeah not their money. %28I did have a small hand in it%2C all I said was %22What about Vince%3F He would want to be here.%22 by saying that a few times I got it pushed back a day.%29 %0D%0A%0D%0AAtleast you didn%27t get asked to split the check.%0D%0ABTW Sorry for you and your family%27s loss %28if it was your family%29%0D%0A%0D%0APattrick%0D%0A%0D%0A%22Jihad-free is the way for me.%22%0D%0A%0D%0A
8|1|0|||||RE%3A Lutheran Funerals...|pfloyd||09:21:22|03/05/2003|Gods%2C I hope this is something we won%27t have to go through next month...%0D%0A%0D%0AAround the middle of December%2C my maternal grandmother passed on quickly and quietly. She%27s already been cremated%2C and with that time of the year being what it was%2C it wasn%27t feasible to get everyone together for a service of some kind.%0D%0AThen%2C two weeks later%2C one of my maternal uncles was found to have passed on sometime around New Year%27s. %28He wasn%27t well to begin with%2C so it didn%27t come as a complete shock... then again%2C he sort of distanced himself from the rest of the family%2C but that%27s a different story.%29 He%27s been cremated as well%2C I believe.%0D%0ASo%2C the gist of this is that we%27re having a double memorial service sometime in mid-April. If I recall correctly%2C my mother%27s family was predominantly Lutheran%2C having been in Wisconsin and all %28apart from some members of my mother%27s father%27s family -- they%27re Nazarene%2C something about which I%27m rather unfamiliar%29. I just hope that it%27s a simple memorial%2C more of a get-together-and-hoist-a-couple sort of thing.%0D%0AAll I can say is this%3A if the Nazarenes go on and try to bring me into the fold%2C wait until they get a load of me%21 %28But that%27s another point anyway...%29%0D%0A%0D%0AEven with all that stated above%2C I%27m not sure how religious my grans were in the first place... Now my %5Bi%5Ddad%27s%5B%2Fi%5D parents%2C that would be a different story... %28And wait until %5Bi%5Dthey%5B%2Fi%5D get a load of me%21%29%0D%0A%0D%0A-- pf%0D%0A
10|2|8|||1||RE%3A Lutheran Funerals...|NeoRavenK7||04:08:32|04/10/2003|Oi...  I%27m glad I%27m Mormon.  Money is not a huge worry in our system%3B our clergy is 100%25 volunteer or rather %22Called to serve in the name of God%22.%0D%0A%0D%0AKris%2C I%27m really sorry to hear about what happened to you.  That was uncalled for and rather base if you ask me.  Times like this I wish we had people like %22Speaker for the Dead%22 from Ender%27s Game.  If you haven%27t read that book yet%2C I highly recomend it.%0D%0A%0D%0A-Raven%0D%0ADon%27t mind me%2C I%27m like Radical Edward in the head.%0D%0A%0D%0A%22I became insane%2C with long intervals of horrible sanity.%22 -Edgar Allen Poe.%0D%0A%0D%0A%22Human suffering is such a unique prviledge.%22 -Rene D%27anclaude%2C Armitage The Third.%0D%0A%0D%0A%22The hard part about playing chicken is knowing when to flinch.%22 Capt. Bart Mancusoe%2C The Hunt For Red October.