12||0|1808|0|yes
0|0|0|||1||Iron Man%3A Hypervelocity|Gryphon||20:56:44|04/20/2008|[updated:LAST EDITED ON Apr-20-08 AT 08:57 PM (EDT)]Let me just start out by saying%2C up front and for the record%2C that Adam Warren is not one of my favorite comics creators.  This is not a personal value judgment%3B I%27ve never met the man and have no idea what kind of person he is in private.  I just don%27t like what he%27s selling on the page most every time I%27ve taken a look.%0D%0A%0D%0AAs such%2C it%27s kind of a sad day when the state of the nation %5Bi%5Dvis-%E0-vis%5B%2Fi%5D a favorite comic character is such that you can look at the row of trade paperbacks at Borders and think%2C %5Bi%5D... Well%2C what the hell%2C the Adam Warren thing is probably out-of-continuity%2C at least%2C so he%27s not %5B%2Fi%5Dcontractually obligated%5Bi%5D to make Tony Stark a fascist douchebag like these other guys.  Might as well.%5B%2Fi%5D%0D%0A%0D%0ASo%2C thanks to that and a couple of recommendations in my circle%2C I sighed inwardly and bought it.  Having now read it%2C I don%27t regret that.  If the cover price had been %2420 instead of %2415%2C maybe%2C but that%27s hairsplitting.%0D%0A%0D%0ASpoilers follow%2C if you care.%0D%0A%0D%0A%5Bhr%5D%0D%0A%0D%0AMight as well start with the negative part%3A%0D%0A%0D%0A%5Bb%5D%5Bbig%5DThe Main Thing I Didn%27t Like%5B%2Fbig%5D%0D%0A%0D%0AYes%2C It%27s the Usual Adam Warren Schtick.%5B%2Fb%5D  It can%2C at least%2C be argued that Warren%27s usual Information Age Posthumanity Crap has something of a %5Bi%5Dniche%5B%2Fi%5D in a modern Iron Man story%2C I%27ll give you that%2C but I still find it irritating%2C if only because he%27s always so %5Bi%5Dobvious%5B%2Fi%5D about it.  Still%2C there are places in %5Bi%5DHypervelocity%5B%2Fi%5D where it feels like he%27s kind of making fun of his own schtick %28Tony 2.0%27s musing about observing the mecha-cult idiots and their pretentious flamewars online%2C for instance%2C and the fact that most of those people are%2C indeed%2C idiots%29%2C which takes some of the edge off.  Plus%2C there%27s the fact that %5Bi%5DHypervelocity%5B%2Fi%5D is roughly contemporaneous with %5Bi%5DExtremis%5B%2Fi%5D%2C which features Warren Ellis%27s %5Bi%5Deven more irritating%5B%2Fi%5D techno-fetishism front and center%2C like a really tall dude in the front of the movie theater who %5Bi%5Dwon%27t sit down.%5B%2Fi%5D  After enduring that%2C Adam Warren%27s cyberpunk lite is positively %5Bi%5Drefreshing.%5B%2Fi%5D  But anyway.%0D%0A%0D%0A%28As an aside%2C I find myself wondering if the bald%2C insanely drugged SHIELD officer is a reference to Spider Jerusalem%2C or leapfrogs over him and references Hunter S. Thompson directly. %3A%29%0D%0A%0D%0AThen there%27s the fact that the central conceit of the story - not the %5Bi%5Dplot%5B%2Fi%5D%2C per se%2C but the gimmick that makes the plot go - isn%27t new.  This is a bit ironic%2C given that the whole thrust of the piece %28as is often the case with Warren%29 is novelty and the consequences thereof.  In fact%2C the %22Iron Man%27s armor develops sentience of its own%22 thing has been done %5Bi%5Dtwice%5B%2Fi%5D before that I know of.  You thought Joey Cheese came up with it during his run on %5Bi%5DInvincible Iron Man%5B%2Fi%5D just before being handed the keys to the T-bird%3F  %5Bi%5DMais non%2C ma petite.%5B%2Fi%5D  The man you want to look to for the first %28that I know of%29 telling of that little story is a chap named Mike Saenz%2C creator if 1988%27s %5Bi%5DIron Man%3A Crash%5B%2Fi%5D%2C the first CG graphic novel.%0D%0A%0D%0A%28Also%2C why are they always pierced%2C PVC-clad bondage chicks in Warren%27s stories%3F  And why does that do anything for Tony%3F  He always struck me as the Hot Librarian type%2C personally.  Maybe that%27s just me.%29%0D%0A%0D%0ANow%2C there was a time when I would%27ve let that keep me at bay%2C as it were.  The fact that the whole piece is framed with The Usual Adam Warren Schtick would%27ve been enough to make me take a pass on it%2C under what evidence lawyers call the %22fruit of the poison tree%22 doctrine.  %28As an aside%2C this same attitude would also%2C not that long ago%2C have prevented me from enjoying the new %5Bi%5DBlue Beetle%5B%2Fi%5D series because that series would never have come about without the egregious bullshit of %5Bi%5DInfinite Crisis%5B%2Fi%5D%2C which is itself dependent on the even more egregious bullshit of %5Bi%5DIdentity Crisis%5B%2Fi%5D%2C and... well%2C you see where I%27m going with this.%29%0D%0A%0D%0AFortunately%2C that%27s no longer the case%2C so I found myself finding quite a lot of things in %5Bi%5DHypervelocity%5B%2Fi%5D to like in spite of the overarching lameness of the premise.%0D%0A%0D%0A%5Bb%5D%5Bbig%5DThings I Did Like%5B%2Fbig%5D%5B%2Fb%5D%0D%0A%0D%0AThe real saving grace about %5Bi%5DHypervelocity%5B%2Fi%5D to me is the fact that the whole thing is hugely tongue-in-cheek%2C and occasionally %5Bi%5Dwickedly%5B%2Fi%5D funny.  The repeated %22I need a drink%22 thing%2C for instance%2C and the running joke with iTunes.  The splash page headed %22%5Bb%5DTony Stark 2.0%27s Top 5 Positives About No Longer Possessing an Organic Human Body%5B%2Fb%5D%22%2C and the comedic usage of the big-text panel notes in general.  The revelation that Iron Man is painted in Tony Stark%27s elementary school colors %28and mine%2C as it happens%21%29.  Iron Man stealing %28and destroying%29 Johnny Storm%27s Honda.  These are all great moments%2C %5Bi%5Dwhoever%5B%2Fi%5D wrote them.%0D%0A%0D%0A%28And when did Johnny become a riceboi%3F  He was into classic hot rods last time I paid any attention to %5Bi%5DFantastic Four%5B%2Fi%5D.  I suppose that%27s part of the whole We Must Keep Our Heroes Contemporary thing.%29%0D%0A%0D%0ABest line of dialogue %28and it%27s a close contest%29%3A %22Fortunately me for me%2C my uploaded persona is running at only %5Bb%5D79%25 cognitive integrity%2C%5B%2Fb%5D so I%27m very likely %5Bb%5Dtoo stupid%5B%2Fb%5D to fully grasp the degree to which I%27m %5Bb%5Dnontrivially screwed.%5B%2Fb%5D  Lucky %5Bb%5Dme.%5B%2Fb%5D%22  A couple of Major Tom%27s lines are up there too%2C especially the one about adjusting his combat drug load.%0D%0A%0D%0AThe endgame%27s pretty good%2C too.  It%27s always a satisfying Iron Man story when there are at least three reversals%2C all of them involving the enemies thinking they%27re ahead%2C only to learn at the very end that Tony%27s had them outflanked the whole time.  %28The ambiguous ending%27s kind of annoying%2C but less so than if he%27d come right out and said %22and then Tony 2.0 gets blown to hydrogen.%22  Since the story appears to be out-of-continuity%2C one can choose to believe that he made it.%29  And I didn%27t miss%2C and quite appreciated%2C Warren taking a moment there at the end to tweak his old Studio Proteus partner Toren Smith%27s nose %28that bit about vinyl LPs being better than CD%3F  Smith%27s a hardcore%2C asshole-caliber audio twink%29.%0D%0A%0D%0AAlso%3A Warren didn%27t draw it%21  Yay%21  I don%27t know this Brian Denham guy%2C but his artwork mainly failed to annoy me %28not entirely sure about this particular Iron Man design%2C but%29%2C and he carried off the frantic-action-pace thing %28kind of critical to a book called %5Bi%5DHypervelocity%5B%2Fi%5D%29 quite well.%0D%0A%0D%0AOverall%3A worth the price of admission.  Doesn%27t really show me anything about Adam Warren I didn%27t already know %28or at least suspect%29%2C but the repartee level is high and the action is satisfying.  The rest is forgivable to me and would probably be considered positive by a lot of readers who aren%27t me%2C so there you go.%0D%0A%0D%0A--G.%0D%0A-%3E%3C-%0D%0ABenjamin D. Hutchins%2C Co-Founder%2C Editor-in-Chief%2C %26 Forum Admin%0D%0AEyrie Productions%2C Unlimited  http%3A%2F%2Fwww.eyrie-productions.com%2F%0D%0A
1|1|0|||1||RE%3A Iron Man%3A Hypervelocity|Mephron||12:23:22|04/21/2008|I am so very glad%2C at least%2C I put my money where my mouth was and bought you those first two Blue Beetle collections.  It%27s the kind of heroics I know you enjoy.%0D%0A%0D%0A--%0D%0AGeoff Depew - Darth Mephron%0D%0AHaberdasher to Androids%2C Dark Lord of Sith Tech Support.%0D%0A%22And Remember%21  Google is your Friend%21%21%22
2|2|1|||1||RE%3A Iron Man%3A Hypervelocity|Gryphon||13:19:38|04/21/2008|%3EI am so very glad%2C at least%2C I put my money where my mouth was and %0D%0A%3Ebought you those first two Blue Beetle collections.  It%27s the kind of %0D%0A%3Eheroics I know you enjoy. %0D%0A%0D%0AIndeed%2C all props to you. %3A%29%0D%0A%0D%0A--G.%0D%0A-%3E%3C-%0D%0ABenjamin D. Hutchins%2C Co-Founder%2C Editor-in-Chief%2C %26 Forum Admin%0D%0AEyrie Productions%2C Unlimited  http%3A%2F%2Fwww.eyrie-productions.com%2F%0D%0A
3|1|0|||1||RE%3A Iron Man%3A Hypervelocity|MOGSY||15:07:10|04/21/2008|I guess it%27s called growing up%3A  the much younger me thought Warren%27s standard schtick was oh-so-avant-garded-and-profound %28re%3A his Dirty Pair%2C and Titans%3A Paper%2C Scissor%2C Stone%29%0D%0A%0D%0ANow%2C I look back and think%3A  WTF%2C Over%3F  The guy comes off as a grade-A douche because no matter _what_ he%27s writing%2C he turns it into %22Standard Warren Schtick%22 %28SWS from here out%29.%0D%0A%0D%0AI actually liked his %22Grand Mal%22 BGC story %28continuity issues aside of course%29 because it seemed to me that he was forced%2C to a degree%2C to respect the universe he was given a playground in.  I do actually enjoy his artwork %28mostly%29 but his entire catalog consists of the same story%2C over and over again%2C with just the props and pieces moved around.  That%2C and his tone like a lot of artists from the early %2790s seems to drip with contempt for his subject.%0D%0A%0D%0AThat doesn%27t mean that I don%27t think he created some interesting characters%2C or provided some good comedy along the way %28the scene with Kei and Yuri singing Faith No More%27s %22Epic%22 in karaoke comes to mind..it fits%29%2C or that he didn%27t have some interesting points about technology%2C futurism and such%2C but man%2C it gets old after the third or fourth time around.%0D%0A%0D%0AIn short%2C the perfect artist for the angsty late teen%2Fearly twenty-something who %22hasn%27t go it figured out yet%22  %3B%29  %28that%27s pretty much how I feel about Michael Moorcock%27s work too%2C but that%27s a whole %27nother conversation...%29%0D%0A%0D%0A%0D%0A%22A good plan executed now is better than a perfect plan next week%22 - Gen George S. Patton%2C Jr.
5|2|3|||1||RE%3A Iron Man%3A Hypervelocity|Mephron||13:49:41|04/22/2008|Oh%2C there%27s a bunch of his Standard Schtick in there%2C no doubt about it.  But this comes off almost more of him parodying his Standard Schtick than playing to it. %0D%0A%0D%0AT%3APSS was one of my Least favorite things he%27s done%2C because he tried to mix it with The Past Isn%27t What It Used To Be and What Does It Mean To Be A Hero%2C and it just fell apart.%0D%0A%0D%0AHypervelocity has some wickedly funny bits in it that really poke at Tony Stark%2C like%2C %22In case I die%2C this system is designed to preserve my most important part.  ....  My MIND%2C despite what a number of supermodels may claim.%22  And the fact that at one point%2C Tony 2.0 ponders writing an alcohol simulator so he can get drunk.%0D%0A%0D%0AIf you%27ve read Livewires%2C the playfulness with Marvel Technology from that series shows up even more in Hypervelocity.%0D%0A%0D%0A--%0D%0AGeoff Depew - Darth Mephron%0D%0AHaberdasher to Androids%2C Dark Lord of Sith Tech Support.%0D%0A%22And Remember%21  Google is your Friend%21%21%22
6|3|5|||1||RE%3A Iron Man%3A Hypervelocity|Gryphon||14:01:22|04/22/2008|%3EHypervelocity has some wickedly funny bits in it that really poke at %0D%0A%3ETony Stark%2C like%2C %22In case I die%2C this system is designed to preserve %0D%0A%3Emy most important part.  ....  My MIND%2C despite what a number of %0D%0A%3Esupermodels may claim.%22  And the fact that at one point%2C Tony 2.0 %0D%0A%3Eponders writing an alcohol simulator so he can get drunk. %0D%0A%0D%0A%22If you%27re wondering%2C yes%2C the suit is performing the climactic J-Kwon dance from %5Bi%5DNapoleon Dynamite%5B%2Fi%5D in the background.  While resonating that annoying Jamiroquai song at %5Bb%5Dterrifying%5B%2Fb%5D volume%2C incidentally.  It%27s a good illustration of the flexibility this model%27s armature is capable of.  ... %5Bsmall%5Dmaybe I should delete this part.%5B%2Fsmall%5D%22%0D%0A%0D%0A%28I haven%27t seen %5Bi%5DNapoleon Dynamite%5B%2Fi%5D%2C so I have no real idea what he%27s talking about there%2C but just the four near-identical panels with Tony talking to the camera in the foreground while the suit dances in the background are worth it. %3A%29%0D%0A%0D%0A--G.%0D%0A-%3E%3C-%0D%0ABenjamin D. Hutchins%2C Co-Founder%2C Editor-in-Chief%2C %26 Forum Admin%0D%0AEyrie Productions%2C Unlimited  http%3A%2F%2Fwww.eyrie-productions.com%2F%0D%0A
7|4|6|||||RE%3A Iron Man%3A Hypervelocity|Berk||15:25:27|04/22/2008|[updated:LAST EDITED ON Apr-22-08 AT 03:39 PM (EDT) by Wedge (moderator)]%5Bsmall%5D%5Bfont color%3Dred%5Dremember%2C remove the %27http %3A%2F%2F%27 when making links%21  --wedge%5B%2Ffont%5D%5B%2Fsmall%5D%0D%0A%0D%0A%5Blink%3Awww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DuIf8y0h3lH0%7CThis is the clip in question%5D
8|5|7|||1||RE%3A Iron Man%3A Hypervelocity|Gryphon||18:47:54|04/22/2008|You really think I%27m dense enough to follow a YouTube link%3F %3A%29%0D%0A%0D%0A--G.%0D%0A-%3E%3C-%0D%0ABenjamin D. Hutchins%2C Co-Founder%2C Editor-in-Chief%2C %26 Forum Admin%0D%0AEyrie Productions%2C Unlimited  http%3A%2F%2Fwww.eyrie-productions.com%2F%0D%0A
9|6|8|||1||RE%3A Iron Man%3A Hypervelocity|Wedge||21:20:46|04/22/2008|%3EYou really think I%27m dense enough to follow a YouTube link%3F %3A%29 %0D%0A%0D%0AIn the process of fixing the link for him I loaded it%2C and can confirm it is not a RickRoll.  Next time it comes up%2C I%27ll make sure to add that info in my mod-note.  %3A%29%0D%0A%0D%0A%0D%0A%5Btable border%3D%220%22 cellspacing%3D%220%22 cellpadding%3D%220%22%5D%5Btr%5D%5Btd colspan%3D%222%22%5D%5Bhr size%3D%221%22 noshade%5D%5B%2Ftd%5D%5Btr%5D%5Btd%5Dhttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.gweep.net%2F%7Ewedge%2Fufchad_ficon.jpg%5B%2Ftd%5D%5Btd%5DChad Collier%0D%0ASmirking Kilrathi%0D%0A%5Bfont color%3D%230000CC%5DThe Captain of the Gravy Train%5B%2Ffont%5D%5B%2Ftd%5D%5B%2Ftr%5D%5Btr%5D%5Btd colspan%3D%222%22%5D%5Bhr size%3D%221%22 noshade%5D%5B%2Ftd%5D%5Btr%5D%5B%2Ftable%5D
10|7|9|||||RE%3A Iron Man%3A Hypervelocity|Star Ranger4||00:50:11|04/23/2008|%3E%3EYou really think I%27m dense enough to follow a YouTube link%3F %3A%29 %0D%0A%3E%0D%0A%3EIn the process of fixing the link for him I loaded it%2C and can confirm %0D%0A%3Eit is not a RickRoll.  Next time it comes up%2C I%27ll make sure to add %0D%0A%3Ethat info in my mod-note.  %3A%29 %0D%0A%3E%0D%0AHuh...  Interestingly enough I never heard of being RickRolled until about a week ago.  Guess I move in more mature circles%3B that sort of joke never really caught on.
12|8|10|||1||RE%3A Iron Man%3A Hypervelocity|BobSchroeck||18:42:23|04/23/2008|%3EHuh...  Interestingly enough I never heard of being RickRolled until %0D%0A%3Eabout a week ago.  %0D%0A%0D%0ALikewise%2C not until a link to the Beaker%2FMuppets video showed up on Fark.com.%0D%0A%0D%0A%3E Guess I move in more mature circles%3B %0D%0A%0D%0ALikewise.  %3Cgrin%3E%0D%0A%0D%0A-- Bob%0D%0A-------------------%0D%0AI intend to be a freak for the rest of my life%2C and I shall baffle you with cabbages and rhinoceroses in the kitchen and incessant quotations from %5Bi%5DNow We Are Six%5B%2Fi%5D through the mouthpiece of Lord Snooty%27s giant poisoned electric head.  So theeeeeere...
11|6|8|||||RE%3A Iron Man%3A Hypervelocity|Berk||06:18:46|04/23/2008|I%27m about 20 years too late to find RickRoll remotely funny.%0D%0A%0D%0ABut%2C then again%2C some people have also accused me of having torn my sense of humor out and thrown it out into traffic.
4|1|0|||||RE%3A Iron Man%3A Hypervelocity|mdg1||18:41:55|04/21/2008|I%27ve always thought Adam wrote better technology than people.  But when it comes to weird ultratech %28or old tech being used in new ways%29 he%27s one of the best.%0D%0A%0D%0AAnd hey... he tossed in a %22blink and you%27ll miss it%22 tribute to GitS....