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0|0|0|||1||Entirely unexpected commission.|Apostate_Soul||20:54:10|07/29/2013|A week or so ago%2C a friend of mine asked me to design him a magic circle. He knows that I%27m competent at that kind of thing. I have to say that although I%27ve been touting for business a la Harry Dresden%2C this was not something I expected at all. %0D%0A%0D%0AYou see%2C he wants it so he can enter a LARP Ritual Competition. And he wants something that looks pretty spectacular. So that%27s what I%27ve been working on. Once I%27d actually got the specifications from him%2C I was all too happy to help%21%0D%0A%0D%0AHis specifications were thus%3A%0D%0A%0D%0A1%29 No recognisable religious elements.%0D%0A2%29 Able to be made out of rope.%0D%0A3%29 Easy to lay out.%0D%0A4%29 Not%2C and this is the important bit%2C actually going to summon anything at all. %0D%0A%0D%0AThe fact that item 4 on that list is actually something that could get him disqualified from the ritual is bemusing to me%3B And so%2C I settled down to examine my books and then come up with something workable. I eventually settled on combining the clean lines of a Goetic Circle of Conjuration with the frankly lunatic conventions of Scandinavian Volcanic magic. %0D%0A%0D%0AAnd then we come to the kicker%3A he%27s actually planning on making said circle%2C when he enters the competition%2C out of guncotton. And then%2C while standing in the middle%2C he%27s going to light it.%0D%0A%0D%0AI have had to revise my designs rather quickly%2C  to include the following%3A%0D%0A%0D%0A1%29 Sheets of and sigils made out of Flash Paper just for contrast and fun%0D%0A2%29 Safety%2C in that it%27s NOT going to blow him into a tree%0D%0A3%29 Minimum possibility that he will%2C actually%2C conjure Surtur%0D%0A4%29 Complete avoidance%2C in fact%2C of ANY fire-related spirit seals in any way shape or form%21%0D%0A%0D%0AOnce the finished design is ready%2C we shall see what happens.%0D%0A%0D%0AFrom a safe distance.%0D%0A%0D%0A%22It%27s difficult keeping up with the cross-continuity%2C but I think Cosmouse just gave The Saturnian Scraphunter his Ultimate Pacifier to use against Galactapuss...%22
1|1|0|||1||RE%3A Entirely unexpected commission.|Gryphon||03:09:42|07/30/2013|%3E4%29 Not%2C and this is the important bit%2C actually going to summon %0D%0A%3Eanything at all. %0D%0A%0D%0AI should think this part of the specification would be... %5Bi%5Dreasonably easy to achieve.%5B%2Fi%5D%0D%0A%0D%0A--G.%0D%0A-%3E%3C-%0D%0ABenjamin D. Hutchins%2C Co-Founder%2C Editor-in-Chief%2C %26 Forum Mod%0D%0AEyrie Productions%2C Unlimited  http%3A%2F%2Fwww.eyrie-productions.com%2F%0D%0Azgryphon at that email service Google has%0D%0A%5Bi%5DCeterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.%5B%2Fi%5D
2|2|1|||1||RE%3A Entirely unexpected commission.|Verbena||03:14:07|07/30/2013|I%27ve known some people for whom it%27d be a genuine consideration. Of course%2C these people don%27t even really look at -fake- books of that stripe%2C let alone what purports to be real ones%2C so it%27s not like they%27re serious about it. %0D%0A%0D%0AI suspect that requirement is as much for self-protection as anything else.%0D%0A%0D%0AAs in%2C %22No%2C officer%2C see%2C I -told- them to not make it real. Right there on the sheet. Whatever he burned down%2C I had nothing to do with it.%22%0D%0A--------%0D%0A%0D%0Athis world created by the %0D%0Ahands of the gods%0D%0Aeverything is false%0D%0Aeverything is a LIE%0D%0Athe final days have come%0D%0Anow%0D%0Alet everything be destroyed%0D%0A%0D%0A--mu
5|3|2|||1||RE%3A Entirely unexpected commission.|Apostate_Soul||07:15:18|07/30/2013|The bit that still amazes me is that actually conjuring something disqualifies him from the competition...%0D%0A%0D%0A%22It%27s difficult keeping up with the cross-continuity%2C but I think Cosmouse just gave The Saturnian Scraphunter his Ultimate Pacifier to use against Galactapuss...%22
14|4|5|||1||RE%3A Entirely unexpected commission.|Gryphon||13:27:37|07/30/2013|%3EThe bit that still amazes me is that actually conjuring something %0D%0A%3Edisqualifies him from the competition... %0D%0A%0D%0AUnless paramedics count%2C I%27d say he%27s in the clear on that score.%0D%0A%0D%0A--G.%0D%0A-%3E%3C-%0D%0ABenjamin D. Hutchins%2C Co-Founder%2C Editor-in-Chief%2C %26 Forum Mod%0D%0AEyrie Productions%2C Unlimited  http%3A%2F%2Fwww.eyrie-productions.com%2F%0D%0Azgryphon at that email service Google has%0D%0A%5Bi%5DCeterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.%5B%2Fi%5D
17|4|5|||||RE%3A Entirely unexpected commission.|Proginoskes||12:15:22|10/20/2013|I think the restriction is entirely reasonable%2C myself. It%27s a %5Bi%5DLARP%5B%2Fi%5D competition%2C after all. People wishing to publicly demonstrate genuine supernatural powers should make their own arrangements.
18|5|17|||||RE%3A Entirely unexpected commission.|SneakyPete||09:09:29|10/21/2013|The Society for Creative Anachronism%2C just to give one example%2C forbids any persona claiming any religious or supernatural %22powers%22 whatsoever%2C including Catholic or Anglican priests%2C Asatru practitioners%2C and Pagans of all stripes from performing rituals of any type at an event.
19|6|18|||1||RE%3A Entirely unexpected commission.|BobSchroeck||12:56:44|10/21/2013|%3EThe Society for Creative Anachronism%2C just to give one example%2C %0D%0A%3Eforbids any persona claiming any religious or supernatural %22powers%22 %0D%0A%3Ewhatsoever%2C including Catholic or Anglican priests%2C Asatru %0D%0A%3Epractitioners%2C and Pagans of all stripes from performing rituals of %0D%0A%3Eany type at an event. %0D%0A%0D%0AAnd as for why%2C may I suggest %5Blink%3Awww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DzyougFDZ7zU%7Cthis%5D as a somewhat tongue-in-cheek explanation%3F%0D%0A%0D%0A-- Bob%0D%0A-------------------%0D%0AMy race is pacifist and does not believe in war.  We kill only out of personal spite.
20|7|19|||1||RE%3A Entirely unexpected commission.|Terminus Est||20:03:28|10/22/2013|If you are a reasonably straight young male and your first reaction upon raising a succubus is to run in terror%2C there is probably something wrong in your plumbing.%0D%0A%0D%0AIf on the other hand this is your %5Bi%5Dsecond%5B%2Fi%5D reaction%2C then well%2C by all means%2C make with the terrified fleeing.
3|1|0|||1||RE%3A Entirely unexpected commission.|Mercutio||03:21:19|07/30/2013|At the risk of being a complete killjoy here...%0D%0A%0D%0AUnless you and%2For your friend are actually trained in pyrotechnics%2C preferably with a state certification %28and you might very well be%2C in which case%2C ignore everything I%27m about to say%29 I would refuse to get involved with this. At all.%0D%0A%0D%0AEspecially the whole %22while standing in the middle%2C he%27s going to light it%22 thing. That sounds like a really great way to light yourself on fire%2C especially if he%27s going to be in full costume at the time. Nitrocellulose isn%27t a joke or a fun party trick. It%27s legitimately dangerous and should be treated with respect.%0D%0A%0D%0A-Merc%0D%0AKeep Rat
4|2|3|||1||RE%3A Entirely unexpected commission.|Gryphon||04:22:10|07/30/2013|%22Let%27s look at another of the costumes you sell%3A Johnny Human Torch.%22%0D%0A%0D%0A%22Ah%2C now that%27s a very popular item there.  %5Bi%5DVery%5B%2Fi%5D popular.%22%0D%0A%0D%0A%22It%27s a %5Bi%5Dbag of oily rags%5B%2Fi%5D and a %5Bi%5Dlighter.%5B%2Fi%5D%22%0D%0A%0D%0A%22The kids love it%21%22%0D%0A%0D%0A--G.%0D%0A-%3E%3C-%0D%0ABenjamin D. Hutchins%2C Co-Founder%2C Editor-in-Chief%2C %26 Forum Mod%0D%0AEyrie Productions%2C Unlimited  http%3A%2F%2Fwww.eyrie-productions.com%2F%0D%0Azgryphon at that email service Google has%0D%0A%5Bi%5DCeterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.%5B%2Fi%5D
8|3|4|||1||RE%3A Entirely unexpected commission.|cyberpagan||09:31:25|07/30/2013|I%27m glad I wasn%27t drinking anything when I read that. I love me some python refs %3AD%0D%0A%0D%0A%0D%0A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%0D%0AI%27m really here%2C but I%27m not here%2C really.%0D%0A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%0D%0A
13|4|8|||||RE%3A Entirely unexpected commission.|mdg1||12:41:37|07/30/2013|I believe that%27s actually a Saturday Night Live reference.  Dan Ackroyd%2C if memory serves.
15|5|13|||1||RE%3A Entirely unexpected commission.|cyberpagan||14:32:42|07/30/2013|Maybe%2C but I took it as a reference to Crunchy Frog. I may be wrong %3A%29%0D%0A%0D%0A%0D%0A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%0D%0AI%27m really here%2C but I%27m not here%2C really.%0D%0A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%0D%0A
16|6|15|||1||RE%3A Entirely unexpected commission.|Gryphon||16:21:19|07/30/2013|%3EMaybe%2C but I took it as a reference to Crunchy Frog. I may be wrong %3A%29 %0D%0A%0D%0ANo%2C I was indeed quoting %28actually%2C as the transcript linked below reveals%2C paraphrasing from very old memory%29 a %5Bi%5DSaturday Night Live%5B%2Fi%5D sketch%2C %22Consumer Probe%22%2C featuring Jane Curtin as TV consumer advocate Joan Face and Dan Akyroyd as sleazy toy magnate Irwin Mainway.  Mainway%27s company produces Halloween costumes such as Johnny Human Torch %28described above%29%2C Invisible Pedestrian %28basically a ninja costume%3B has a warning on the package specifying that it is NOT FOR BLIND KIDS%29%2C and Johnny Combat Action Costume %28a working M-1 rifle%2C ammunition - as Mainway piously points out - not included%29.  As you might imagine%2C Ms. Face is not too impressed.%0D%0A%0D%0AThe sketch dates to 1977%2C so may well have been inspired in part by %22Crunchy Frog%22.  %28There were several Irwin Mainway sketches%3B another featured holiday toy ideas such as %22Bag O%27 Glass%22%2C a plastic bag filled with shards of razor-sharp broken glass%2C which Mainway defends as a toy intended for %5Bi%5Dcreative%5B%2Fi%5D children.%29%0D%0A%0D%0AI can%27t find the Halloween sketch online offhand%2C but %5Blink%3Asnltranscripts.jt.org%2F77%2F77dconsumerprobe.phtml%7Chere is a transcript%5D.%0D%0A%0D%0A--G.%0D%0A-%3E%3C-%0D%0ABenjamin D. Hutchins%2C Co-Founder%2C Editor-in-Chief%2C %26 Forum Mod%0D%0AEyrie Productions%2C Unlimited  http%3A%2F%2Fwww.eyrie-productions.com%2F%0D%0Azgryphon at that email service Google has%0D%0A%5Bi%5DCeterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.%5B%2Fi%5D
6|2|3|||1||RE%3A Entirely unexpected commission.|Apostate_Soul||07:20:28|07/30/2013|I take your point%2C and know that the man in question %2Adoes%2A have an explosives certification. %28And is also possibly certifiable%2C but that%27s another matter entirely.%29 So I trust him to handle the nitrocellulose safely. %0D%0A%0D%0AI just need to keep the actual mass and lines to a minimum%2C for my own peace of mind... although people have promised to video his escapades. That being said%2C blowing yourself up is the least of what can happen if I screw up the design... but I%27d just as rather he didn%27t make himself into the express rocket to Valhalla because of my design.%0D%0A%0D%0A%22It%27s difficult keeping up with the cross-continuity%2C but I think Cosmouse just gave The Saturnian Scraphunter his Ultimate Pacifier to use against Galactapuss...%22
9|3|6|||1||RE%3A Entirely unexpected commission.|laudre||10:04:54|07/30/2013|%3EI just need to keep the actual mass and lines to a minimum%2C for my own %0D%0A%3Epeace of mind... although people have promised to video his escapades. %0D%0A%3EThat being said%2C blowing yourself up is the least of what can happen %0D%0A%3Eif I screw up the design... but I%27d just as rather he didn%27t make %0D%0A%3Ehimself into the express rocket to Valhalla because of my design. %0D%0A%0D%0AWell%2C no worries there%2C unless it counts as being slain battle %28there%27s some evidence that this was not taken to be literal historically%2C let alone among modern-day heathens%29. If it%27s not such%2C then ... well%2C again%2C it%27s up for interpretation%2C but usually you%27d go to the hall of your ancestors in Hel %28which is not to be confused with the Christian Hell%29.%0D%0A%0D%0AAnd that%27s only if he doesn%27t go to Sussrumnir instead. %28Half of those slain in battle go to Valhalla%2C half to Sussrumnir.%29%0D%0A%0D%0A%22Mathematics brought rigor to economics. Unfortunately%2C it also brought mortis.%22%0D%0A - Kenneth Boulding
10|4|9|||1||RE%3A Entirely unexpected commission.|Mercutio||10:16:54|07/30/2013|%0D%0A%3E%28there%27s some evidence that this was not taken to be literal %0D%0A%3Ehistorically%2C let alone among modern-day heathens%29. %0D%0A%0D%0AEven among those parts of Scandinavian culture that did take it more seriously%2C there%27s a fair amount of evidence of gaming the system. Like%2C if you were a warrior who it looked like was gonna die in bed surrounded by his family%2C said family would arrange an honorable %22battle%22 situation where you could hobble out and be cut down%2C thus assuring your place amongst the honored fallen.%0D%0A%0D%0A-Merc%0D%0AKeep Rat
7|1|0|||1||RE%3A Entirely unexpected commission.|The Traitor||07:52:48|07/30/2013|There are times when the rest of us just have to stand back in amazement at human ingenuity. In the case of this man%2C quite a long way back%2C and preferably behind a tree.%0D%0A%0D%0A---%0D%0A%22Yeah%2C I%27m definitely going to hell%2FBut I%27ll have all the best stories to tell%22 -- Frank Turner%2C The Ballad of Me and My Friends
11|2|7|||1||RE%3A Entirely unexpected commission.|Apostate_Soul||10:38:54|07/30/2013|True%2C but I still want to see him take off. And also be there in case I need to take credit for summoning something entirely unanticipated.%0D%0A%0D%0A%22It%27s difficult keeping up with the cross-continuity%2C but I think Cosmouse just gave The Saturnian Scraphunter his Ultimate Pacifier to use against Galactapuss...%22
12|3|11|||1||RE%3A Entirely unexpected commission.|The Traitor||10:48:19|07/30/2013|%22WHO DARES DISTURB THE SLUMBER OF AKNAN-HETUUM%2C GRAVELORD OF THE SEVENTH REALM%3F%22%0D%0A%0D%0A%22Er... me.%22%0D%0A%0D%0A%22HOW DID YOU FIND THE HIDDEN WAYS OF THE PRIESTS OF QIBETH%2C MORTAL%3F I THOUGHT THEM SLAIN WHEN YOUR RACE WAS YOUNG.%22%0D%0A%0D%0A%22I... guessed%3F%22%0D%0A%0D%0A%22HM. INTRIGUING. WHY ARE YOUR LEG COVERINGS WET%2C MORTAL%3F%22%0D%0A%0D%0A%22Er%2C um%2C well... oh dear...%22%0D%0A%0D%0A---%0D%0A%22Yeah%2C I%27m definitely going to hell%2FBut I%27ll have all the best stories to tell%22 -- Frank Turner%2C The Ballad of Me and My Friends