14||0|2653|3|
0|0|0|||1||Elder Days Story Time%3A Home Ec|Gryphon||18:45:05|12/07/2015|%5Bdiv style%3D%22border-style%3Asolid%3Bborder-color%3A%23000099%3Bpadding%3A5px%22%5D%5Bfont size%3D%222%22%5DThe past is a foreign country%3A they do things differently there.%0D%0A%5Bcenter%5D- L.P. Hartley%2C %5Bi%5DThe Go-Between%5B%2Fi%5D %281953%29%5B%2Fcenter%5D%5B%2Ffont%5D%5B%2Fdiv%5D%0D%0A%0D%0AAnybody else remember Home Economics%3F  In the school district I went through%2C it was a required class in seventh grade.  It was a sort of basic domestic survival course - introductions to cooking%2C sewing%2C and rudimentary financial management.%0D%0A%0D%0AWhen I was in seventh grade%2C circa 1985%2C Home Ec had just become a requirement for all students%3B until that year only girls had to take it%2C and only boys had to take Industrial Arts %28a.k.a. wood shop%29 in the next grade.  The Home Ec teacher%E2%80%94I%27ll call her Mrs. Walton%2C although that is not her name%E2%80%94was... you know those teachers that everyone in the school%2C even students who hadn%27t taken her class%2C just seems to love and respect and look forward to seeing%3F  Mrs. Walton was the opposite of that.  Everyone in the building dreaded having to deal with her%2C including other faculty members.%0D%0A%0D%0AThere were basically two problems with Home Ec as Mrs. Walton taught it.  One was that she wasted time on things that were%2C plain and simple%2C %5Bi%5Dnot important%5B%2Fi%5D.  Part of the class dealt with cooking and kitchen management.  That%27s great%2C everyone should be able to cook at least a little bit.  Hell%2C by the time I got to the seventh grade%2C I%27d been baking for years thanks to my mother %28Ashland Community High School Future Homemaker of the Year%2C 1970 - let%27s go Hornets%21%29 and the Betty Crocker cookbook she won along with that scholarship.  %28I still have a copy of that same edition of the Crocker%2C with the orange cover%3B although I bought mine online many years later and it%27s in much better shape than Mom%27s%2C which has long since shed its binding and which has many stuck-together pages.%29  The Home Ec room%27s cooking facilities were pretty swanky for the time and place.  I was expecting that part of the class to be good times.%0D%0A%0D%0AAnd it might have been%2C except before we were ever allowed to enter the kitchen part of the room%2C we spent what in my memory today is a solid week%2C and this in a school where all classes met at the same time each day of the week%2C on %5Bi%5Dsetting a table%5B%2Fi%5D.  As in where in relation to the plate the plural forks go%2C and the various different glasses%2C and the cheese knife%2C and %5Bi%5Dwhat%5B%2Fi%5D the %5Bi%5Dhell%5B%2Fi%5D do seventh-graders need to know that for%3F  %28Protip%3A %5Bi%5DNobody%5B%2Fi%5D needs to know that.%29  The class is supposed to be basic homemaking prep%2C not training to work at the French Embassy.%0D%0A%0D%0ASo that kind of thing was one problem.  The other was%2C well%2C as mentioned above%2C Mrs. Walton was... let%27s say often pleased to be difficult.  Also%2C she clearly hated having been required to take all the boys in the class.  It was a weird kind of reverse sexism%E2%80%94boys had no place in a kitchen%2C sewing room%2C etc. as far as she was concerned.  We were about as welcome in her classroom as we would have been in the girls%27 locker room down in the gym.  In my case%2C she seemed to find it personally offensive that I already knew a few things about cooking.%0D%0A%0D%0AShe %5Bi%5Dalso%5B%2Fi%5D found my left-handedness offensive.  One day after we%27d done our first cooking exercise %28I forget what it was%29 and had sat down to eat it%2C she suddenly called me out mid-bite and basically demanded that I mend my ways without giving me any feedback as to what about my ways actually required mending.  You know%2C the classic %22you know what you did%2C%22 except that I didn%27t have the %5Bi%5Dfaintest%5B%2Fi%5D idea%2C and neither%2C based on the baffled looks that were being exchanged%2C did anyone around me.  When I professed this bafflement%2C she flew into the kind of rage one reserves for someone who is deliberately trolling and sent me to the office.%0D%0A%0D%0AMr. Ives %28that %5Bi%5Dis%5B%2Fi%5D his real name%29%2C the principal%2C and his secretary %28whose name I have alas forgotten%29 were confused to find me turning up in his outer office%2C since by that point I had more or less ceased to be the fighty little bastard I was in elementary school.  %22What did you do%3F%22 he asked%2C and I had to shrug and confess that I had no more idea than he did.%0D%0A%0D%0ASo he got on the intercom and buzzed down to the Home Ec room%2C and when Mrs. Walton answered he said%2C %22Hi%2C uh%2C I have Ben Hutchins up there%2C but he seems not to know why he%27s here.%22%0D%0A%0D%0AMrs. Walton%27s response was so furiously indignant that Mr. Ives actually picked up the phone handset on the intercom panel and used that rather than have it spill all over the office floor from the speaker%2C so I missed most of it%2C but she opened with words to the effect of%2C %22%5Bb%5D%5Bi%5DHe knows perfectly well why he%27s there%2C that boy has the table manners of a PIG and%5B%2Fi%5D%5B%2Fb%5D%22%0D%0A%0D%0AThe secretary and I sat there exchanging bemused glances until%2C at some length%2C Mr. Ives finished dealing with Mrs. Walton%2C closed the intercom connection to her room%2C and hung up the handset.  Then%2C with the facial expression of a man who is shortening his lifespan slightly with the effort it%27s requiring him not to burst out laughing%2C he turned to me and said very calmly%2C%0D%0A%0D%0A%22Mrs. Walton wants me to explain to you that in this country...%22  He hesitated%2C fighting back another wave of laughter.  %22... In this country we hold our forks...%22  Pause%3B recenter%3B continue.  %22... in our left hands to cut%2C then switch them our right hands to eat.%22%0D%0A%0D%0AI think my response was something along the lines of%2C %22Oh.  ... What%3F%22 %0D%0A%0D%0A%22I think...%22 Pause. %22I think it%27s probably best if you...%22  Pause.  %22... don%27t return to Mrs. Walton%27s classroom today.  I%27ll give you...%22  Pause.  %22I%27ll give you a pass to the library for the rest of this period.%22%0D%0A%0D%0AThe incident was never mentioned again%2C so presumably there was some follow-up conference in which Mrs. Walton had it impressed upon her that left-handedness %28or being British%2C for that matter%2C not that I am%29 is not grounds for dismissal.  She never really forgave me%2C though%2C and when we got to sewing the problem reared its head again in the dread shape of scissors.  These hadn%27t been a problem since the first grade%2C but now they were suddenly back on the agenda%2C and my poor cut lines from being forced to use an inappropriate tool were a bone of contention for the entire sewing unit.%0D%0A%0D%0AThe real pinnacle came when we got to the actual %22home economics%22 part of the class%2C though%2C where we were to learn how to balance a checkbook %28I know%2C right%3F%29 and manage a rudimentary home budget.  For whatever reason%2C Mrs. Walton decided that if she %5Bi%5Dhad%5B%2Fi%5D to have boys in the class%2C she would at least take the opportunity to enforce %5Bi%5Dsome%5B%2Fi%5D Traditional Gender Roles%2C so she divided the class up into boy-girl pairs and made them do the running-the-household exercises as teams.%0D%0A%0D%0ATry to imagine for a moment how mortifying this kind of thing was.  In the seventh grade.  When declaring that any classmate might be interested in any another was still considered legitimate grounds for a fight under Section 422 of the Kid Penal Code.  Got that locked in%3F  Good.%0D%0A%0D%0ANow know that the ratio in the class wasn%27t even.  There were two extra boys.%0D%0A%0D%0ASo she made me and one of the other guys be the Alternative Lifestyle Couple.  %28That was the phrase she used.  With audible sneer.%29%0D%0A%0D%0ANow%2C I could go into great detail as to how That%27s OK%2C That%27s Not What I%27m Saying Here%2C but I%27m going to trust that my audience understands that that%27s all established already.  But %5Bi%5Din the seventh grade%5B%2Fi%5D%2C and %5Bi%5Din rural Maine%5B%2Fi%5D%2C and %5Bi%5Din 1985%5B%2Fi%5D%2C I submit to you that that was a pretty shitty thing to do%2C particularly in the very pointed way she did it.%0D%0A%0D%0AOn the other hand%2C Rob and I had the best-balanced fake checkbook in the class%2C so.  I%27m just saying.%0D%0A%0D%0AThe flip side of this came the next year%2C when we all got to Industrial Arts%3B that teacher %28we%27ll call him Mr. Welman%29 was no happier about the situation than Mrs. Walton had been%3B but that%27s another story.%0D%0A%0D%0A--G.%0D%0A-%3E%3C-%0D%0ABenjamin D. Hutchins%2C Co-Founder%2C Editor-in-Chief%2C %26 Forum Mod%0D%0AEyrie Productions%2C Unlimited  http%3A%2F%2Fwww.eyrie-productions.com%2F%0D%0Azgryphon at that email service Google has%0D%0A%5Bi%5DCeterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.%5B%2Fi%5D
1|1|0|||||RE%3A Elder Days Story Time%3A Home Ec|drakensis||01:57:44|12/08/2015|I have to say that of my own Home Economics classes%2C I%27ve made more use of knowing how to sew and cook than I have of how to hammer out a cookie cutter on an anvil and then weld the ends together. Now I%27m not saying that that%27s universal.%0D%0A%0D%0AOn the other hand%2C balancing a cheque book wasn%27t part of the curriculum where I was and given some of the idiots I%27ve run into since%2C it probably should have been.
2|2|1|||1||RE%3A Elder Days Story Time%3A Home Ec|Lime2K||02:49:34|12/08/2015|Amusingly enough%2C I learned how to do a short-form income tax form in my 7th-grade %5Bi%5DEnglish class%5B%2Fi%5D%2C of all places...%0D%0A--------------%0D%0ALime2K%0D%0AThe One True Evil Overlord
3|1|0|||1||RE%3A Elder Days Story Time%3A Home Ec|Phantom||10:17:54|12/08/2015|Ah%2C yes%2C Home Ec.  That takes me back%21%0D%0ASadly I was much better at home ec than wood shop.  To this day I am not allowed to use power tools.%0D%0A%0D%0AI didn%27t have Balancing a Check Book nor the Proper Embassy table setting portion.  Wow%2C she sounded fun%21%0D%0A%0D%0ABut like you I had been baking and cooking meals myself for years by that point.  So the cooking section was really fun.%0D%0A%0D%0AOh I can%27t wait to hear how woodshop went%21%0D%0A%0D%0ALater%21%0D%0APhantom%0D%0A%0D%0A%22When you have eliminated the impossible%2C whatever remains%2C however improbable%2C must be the truth.%22 - Sherlock Holmes
4|1|0|||1||RE%3A Elder Days Story Time%3A Home Ec|Offsides||10:26:18|12/08/2015|It sounds like your Home Ec experience was about the opposite of mine %28also 1985%2C give or take%29.  In 7th grade everyone cycled around the 5 %22arts%22 classes over the course of the year %28which was in trimesters%2C so it made the rotation schedules weird%29%3A %22Art%22 %28painting and whatnot%29%2C Wood Shop%2C Metal Shop%2C Music%2C and Home Ec.  Everybody dreaded Home Ec%2C because one of the requirements was to sew a canvas bag.  Except for some reason I took to it like a duck to water%2C and really enjoyed it.  So much that I made something like six or seven of them%2C and gave them out as holiday gifts that year.  Of course%2C I%27ve never touched a sewing machine since%2C nor do I have any real interest at this point%2C but it was fun at the time.%0D%0A%0D%0AThe only other part I remember about it was we got to learn some cake decorating%2C and for a about a year and a half I was actually able to make roses out of frosting.  That%27s something I might even be able to do again if I put in the practice%2C since I do enjoy cooking and baking%2C but it%27s easier to get one from the store %3A%29%0D%0A%0D%0ANo recollection of balancing a checkbook%2C but there%27s a lot about 7th grade I don%27t remember %28probably intentionally at this point%29...%0D%0A%0D%0AOffsides%0D%0A%0D%0A%26%2391%3B...%26%2393%3B in order to be a realist you must believe in miracles.%0D%0A    -- David Ben Gurion%0D%0AEPU RCW %23%26pi%3B%0D%0A%23include %3Cstdsig.h%3E
5|1|0|||||RE%3A Elder Days Story Time%3A Home Ec|Tabasco||11:03:42|12/08/2015|We still had it about 10 years after your adventure%2C and it was just as silly in parts.  What they thought I would accomplish by knowing crosstitching is still a mystery to me.
6|1|0|||1||RE%3A Elder Days Story Time%3A Home Ec|ebony14||13:17:33|12/08/2015|Strangely enough%2C I learned how to balance my checkbook in Algebra %28aka 8th Grade Honors Math%29. Not sure why the teacher threw that in along with the quadratic equation and Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally%2C but there you are.%0D%0A%0D%0AEbony the Black Dragon%0D%0A%0D%0A%22Life is like an anole. Sometimes it%27s green. Sometimes it%27s brown. But it%27s always a small Caribbean lizard.%22
7|1|0|||1||RE%3A Elder Days Story Time%3A Home Ec|The Traitor||19:50:38|12/08/2015|Good grief%2C there%27s actually an Elder Days Story Time to which I can make a relevant%2C non-shit contribution%21 The rain today%2C it raineth primarily blood. %3D%5D%0D%0A%0D%0ABrief background%3A at Year 9 %2813-14 years old%29 you could pick and choose what GCSEs you wanted to take%2C with compulsory subjects and optional ones in various categories. There were two things I actually %5Bi%5Dwanted%5B%2Fi%5D to take when I was at school%2C which was considerably after y%27all were at school%3B Home Economics %28by this point Food Technology%2C which if nothing else sounds cooler to the only slightly gender-questioning nibblet I was back then%29 and History. Food Tech I was prevented from studying by being both actively and inventively hazardous at times%2C so I don%27t consider it exactly unfair. In terms of destruction to the work surfaces and kitchen area%2C my crowning achievement being trying to make a dipping sauce for some grapes out of Mini Babybels with nothing but a cook%27s torch and a frankly enormous overestimation of my own competence. Longtime sufferers of Traitor conversation around these parts will know that the last part has not changed much over the years. %3D%5D%0D%0A%0D%0AHistory%2C however%2C I was slightly more displeased at being barred from taking%2C by which I mean it sent me into an apoplectic fury that led me and my mother to be forcibly removed from that year%27s Parents%27 Evening and banned from attending it the year after. See%2C the head of the History department%2C one Mr. Baker%2C was not entirely convinced that I was doing my homework. My handwriting was and remains slow%3B despite regular exercise in this field%2C I find that my writing speed with the common-or-garden biro was%2C to quote J.K. Rowling%2C outstripped by passing butterflies. Thus%2C my classwork had an element of %5Bi%5Dpr%C3%A9cis%5B%2Fi%5D to it that Mr. Baker took for indolence rather than%2C well%2C just being slow%2C and it wasn%27t helped by the fact that I corrected the cantankerous old shart on a matter in the first lesson of that year. My %5Bi%5Dhomework%5B%2Fi%5D%2C on the other hand%2C was a rather different matter. Since I actually had the time to work on the poxy stuff%2C I was passing everything he threw at me with flying colours. He most definitely did not like that. At the time%2C my mother was studying for her History Ph.D%2C which she has now passed with minor corrections.%0D%0A%0D%0ASo at that Parents%27 Evening%2C the first thing he said to my mother was that he would not allow me to study GCSE History because my mother was obviously doing all my homework.%0D%0A%0D%0AI was a very slight youth%2C and was unsuccessful in restraining my mother from grabbing him by the lapels and screaming at him until she%27d gone a variety of interesting colours.%0D%0A%0D%0AAnd I%27m now studying for a History degree%2C so joke%27s on him%2C the shit. %3D%5D%0D%0A%0D%0A---%0D%0A%22She%27s old%2C she%27s lame%2C she%27s barren too%2C %2F%2F %22She%27s not worth feed or hay%2C %2F%2F %22But I%27ll give her this%2C%22 - he blew smoke at me - %2F%2F %22She was something in her day.%22 -- Garnet Rogers%2C %5Bi%5DSmall Victory%5B%2Fi%5D%0D%0A%0D%0AFiMFiction.net%3A we might accept blatant porn involving the cast of My Little Pony but as God is my witness we have %5Bi%5Dstandards%5B%2Fi%5D.
8|2|7|||1||RE%3A Elder Days Story Time%3A Home Ec|Gryphon||20:29:22|12/08/2015|[updated:LAST EDITED ON Dec-08-15 AT 08:37 PM (EST)]%3Emy crowning %0D%0A%3Eachievement being trying to make a dipping sauce for some grapes out %0D%0A%3Eof Mini Babybels with nothing but a cook%27s torch and a frankly %0D%0A%3Eenormous overestimation of my own competence.%0D%0A%0D%0AI%27m surprised that didn%27t work%21  Frankly enormous overestimation of one%27s own competence is practically a prerequisite for getting into the really serious culinary schools.%0D%0A%0D%0A%3EI find that my writing speed with the %0D%0A%3Ecommon-or-garden biro was%2C to quote J.K. Rowling%2C outstripped by %0D%0A%3Epassing butterflies. Thus%2C my classwork had an element of %0D%0A%3E%5Bi%5Dpr%C3%A9cis%5B%2Fi%5D to it%0D%0A%0D%0AHeh%21  My handwriting is either unusefully slow or so bad everything I write looks like a prescription.  This has%2C over the course of the last few years%2C led one professor to ask quietly as I was handing in an exam%2C %22Did you have enough time%3F  I tried to calibrate the length of the test to your writing speed%2C%22 which I found weirdly gratifying%3B and%2C on the other hand%2C to the single most amusing grader%27s note I%27ve ever received.  That was on one of the exams for the 100-level European History 1750%E2%80%93Present course I had to take as part of the core HTY curriculum%2C which was one of those giant lecture-hall classes with 150 sleeping freshmen in it.%0D%0A%0D%0AThat class was broken up into smaller groups for the weekly recitation%2Fdiscussion sections%2C and each of those sessions was run by a TA%2C not the professor in charge.  The general rule was that whichever TA we had recitation with was the one who graded our exams.  My section%27s TA had the most maddeningly precise penmanship - he wrote like a pen plotter labeling an architectural diagram.  Meanwhile%2C I write like a doctor in a hurry%2C and toward the end of a long essay exam%2C as my endurance begins to flag%2C it degenerates into a sort of semi-cuneiform mess.%0D%0A%0D%0AAll of which is a long-winded way of explaining why%2C on the last page of my booklet for one of that course%27s exams%2C my TA wrote a note in the margin in his precise%2C all-block-capitals hand%3A%0D%0A%0D%0A%5Bfont face%3D%22times%22 color%3D%22black%22 size%3D%222%22%5DI DON%27T KNOW WHAT ANYTHING ON THIS PAGE%0D%0ASAYS%2C BUT THE REST OF YOUR ANSWERS HAVE%0D%0ABEEN REALLY GOOD SO I%27M JUST GOING TO%0D%0AASSUME IT%27S FINE.%5B%2Ffont%5D%0D%0A%0D%0A%3ESo at that Parents%27 Evening%2C the first thing he said to my mother was %0D%0A%3Ethat he would not allow me to study GCSE History because my mother was %0D%0A%3Eobviously doing all my homework. %0D%0A%0D%0AI%27ve told this story before %28in the %22Fun in the Computer Lab%22 thread%2C I think%29%2C but this reminds me of the English teacher I had in high school who gave any paper that she could tell was written on a computer %28and back then it was easy to tell%29 a zero without reading it.  She believed that a %22word processor%22 was some kind of AI program that would write a paper for you if you provided the topic and required length.  My mother the educational computing specialist was not best pleased.%0D%0A%0D%0A%22HAL%2C give me eight double-spaced pages on Robert Frost%2C please.%22%0D%0A%0D%0A%22%5Btt%5DI%27m sorry%2C Dave%2C I%27m afraid I can%27t do that.%5B%2Ftt%5D%22%0D%0A%0D%0A%3EAnd I%27m now studying for a History degree%2C so joke%27s on him%2C the shit. %0D%0A%3E%3D%5D%0D%0A%0D%0AHeh%2C I%27m reminded of the early episode of %5Bi%5DTop Gear%5B%2Fi%5D where Hammond calls up his high school headmaster from the back of the Maybach he%27s testing.  %22%27Never get anywhere in life%2C%27 I believe you said...%22%0D%0A%0D%0A--G.%0D%0A-%3E%3C-%0D%0ABenjamin D. Hutchins%2C Co-Founder%2C Editor-in-Chief%2C %26 Forum Mod%0D%0AEyrie Productions%2C Unlimited  http%3A%2F%2Fwww.eyrie-productions.com%2F%0D%0Azgryphon at that email service Google has%0D%0A%5Bi%5DCeterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.%5B%2Fi%5D
9|1|0|||1||RE%3A Elder Days Story Time%3A Home Ec|Nathan||20:47:59|12/08/2015|Hoo%2C boy.%0D%0A%0D%0ASo%2C as fellow veterans of Extremely Rural School Environments may be aware%2C in the real boonies%2C you find schools which have two traits%3A%0D%0A%0D%0AFirst%2C because the population density is so low%2C it%27s often economically impractical to have separate elementary%2C middle%2Fjunior%2C and high schools - so you end up with K-through-Twelve all in the same building. %28There%27s a school in my home county where that will often all fit in the same %5Bi%5Dclassroom%5B%2Fi%5D%2C kept open because it%27s simply too far to bus the kids to another facility.%29%0D%0A%0D%0ASecond%2C because all the families have lived in the area since Time Immemorial%2C everybody is related to%2C if not quite %5Bi%5Deverybody else%5B%2Fi%5D%2C at least to %5Bi%5Dsomebody%5B%2Fi%5D.%0D%0A%0D%0ANow%2C I went to such a school.%0D%0A%0D%0AAnd my parents are both natives of a completely different state. With no relatives in the area.%0D%0A%0D%0AThis presented certain social challenges%2C but the worst challenge%2C as clarified by my parents%27 stories%2C was the staff.%0D%0A%0D%0AY%27see%2C I wandered through my father%27s shelf of WW2 history books%2C and found %5Blink%3Awww.amazon.com%2FEnola-Gay-Gordon-Thomas%2Fdp%2F0812821505%2Fref%3Dsr_1_5%3Fs%3Dbooks%26ie%3DUTF8%26qid%3D1449624762%26sr%3D1-5%26keywords%3Denola%2Bgay%7Cone that looked interesting%5D%2C which I then picked up and spent the next... month or two%3F Reading.%0D%0A%0D%0AIn first grade.%0D%0A%0D%0AAt one or two different points%2C I had teachers ask me what the book was about. And I stared at them in wide-eyed terror%2C because %27%5Bi%5Dexplain%5B%2Fi%5D%3F In%2C like%2C %5Bi%5Dwords%5B%2Fi%5D%3F To a %5Bi%5Dperson%5B%2Fi%5D%3F%27.%0D%0A%0D%0AAt which point they concluded that the only reason I was carrying the book was pretend that I was actually smart%2C since obviously I couldn%27t possibly actually be reading it%2C and that I was a lousy little liar who needed to be treated as one.%0D%0A%0D%0AI was quite pathetically grateful when%2C between third and fourth grades%2C we moved into town and I was able to go to a different school. I adored my fourth grade teacher%2C a tiny little waif of a woman whose name I can remember but have no hope of spelling%2C enough that%2C all through fifth grade%2C I would stop by on the way out of the building to give her a hug before I went home - just because she was fair and that was such a nice change.%0D%0A%0D%0AI learned just a couple of hours ago that she had died of cancer while I was in High School.%0D%0A%0D%0ASo... I guess rambling about it on the internet helps me work that feeling out.%0D%0A%0D%0A-----%0D%0A%0D%0A%22V%2C did you do something foolish%3F%22%0D%0A%0D%0A%22Yes%2C and it was %5Bi%5Dglorious%5B%2Fi%5D.%22
10|2|9|||1||RE%3A Elder Days Story Time%3A Home Ec|Gryphon||21:05:32|12/08/2015|%3ESo%2C as fellow veterans of Extremely Rural School Environments may be %0D%0A%3Eaware%2C in the real boonies%2C you find schools which have two traits%3A %0D%0A%3E%0D%0A%28snip%29%0D%0A%3E%0D%0A%3ENow%2C I went to such a school. %0D%0A%0D%0AI didn%27t%2C not quite %28though the school system I went through is closer to that state now than it was when I was there%29%2C but my parents did.%0D%0A%0D%0A%3Espent the next... %0D%0A%3Emonth or two%3F Reading. %0D%0A%3E%0D%0A%3EIn first grade. %0D%0A%0D%0AMan%2C I got so much crap in kindergarten for already being able to read.  I was like%2C %22Where are the books%3F  I can play with blocks at %5Bi%5Dhome%5B%2Fi%5D%2C I don%27t need to be surrounded by loud strangers to do that.%22  %28Not in so many words%2C I was five%2C but that is a fair approximation of my sentiments. %3A%29%0D%0A%0D%0A%3EI adored my fourth grade teacher%2C a tiny little waif of a woman whose %0D%0A%3Ename I can remember but have no hope of spelling%2C enough that%2C all %0D%0A%3Ethrough fifth grade%2C I would stop by on the way out of the building to %0D%0A%3Egive her a hug before I went home - just because she was fair and that %0D%0A%3Ewas such a nice change. %0D%0A%3E%0D%0A%3EI learned just a couple of hours ago that she had died of cancer while %0D%0A%3EI was in High School. %0D%0A%3E%0D%0A%3ESo... I guess rambling about it on the internet helps me work that %0D%0A%3Efeeling out. %0D%0A%0D%0AOof%2C yeah.  That%27s rough.  My first-grade teacher %28who has a similar place in my personal pantheon for coming along and being a Reasonable Person after kindergarten%29 died earlier this year%2C and hearing about it was a sort of%2C %22... Shit%2C what%3F  That%27s not allowed%2C why wasn%27t I consulted%3F%22 sort of moment. %3A%2F%0D%0A%0D%0A--G.%0D%0A-%3E%3C-%0D%0ABenjamin D. Hutchins%2C Co-Founder%2C Editor-in-Chief%2C %26 Forum Mod%0D%0AEyrie Productions%2C Unlimited  http%3A%2F%2Fwww.eyrie-productions.com%2F%0D%0Azgryphon at that email service Google has%0D%0A%5Bi%5DCeterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.%5B%2Fi%5D
12|2|9|||1||RE%3A Elder Days Story Time%3A Home Ec|twipper||16:17:10|12/10/2015|[updated:LAST EDITED ON Dec-10-15 AT 04:17 PM (EST)]%3EY%27see%2C I wandered through my father%27s shelf of WW2 history books%2C and %0D%0A%3Efound %0D%0A%3E%2Asnip%2A which I then picked up and spent the next... %0D%0A%3Emonth or two%3F Reading. %0D%0A%3E%0D%0A%3EIn first grade. %0D%0A%3E%0D%0A%0D%0AYep%2C went through something similar.  I was in the %27gifted%27 reading%2Fliterature programs all the way through my junior%2Fsenior high schooling.  I think I read %27The Hobbit%27 the first time in 3rd grade.  Sometime during my 4th grade%2C I%27d picked up one of Mom%27s Anne McCaffrey dragon books %28think it was the %27White Dragon%27%29%2C and took it along to school for downtime.%0D%0A%0D%0AMy teacher tried to have me expelled for bringing porn into the classroom %28would have been 1981%29. Mom found the teacher%27s opinion less than amusing.%0D%0A%0D%0ABrian%0D%0A
14|3|12|||1||RE%3A Elder Days Story Time%3A Home Ec|Gryphon||19:29:11|12/10/2015|%3EMy teacher tried to have me expelled for bringing porn into the %0D%0A%3Eclassroom %28would have been 1981%29. Mom found the teacher%27s opinion less %0D%0A%3Ethan amusing.%0D%0A%0D%0AIn fairness%2C %5Bi%5DThe White Dragon%5B%2Fi%5D %5Bu%5Dis%5B%2Fu%5D totally porn.%0D%0A%0D%0A--G.%0D%0A-%3E%3C-%0D%0ABenjamin D. Hutchins%2C Co-Founder%2C Editor-in-Chief%2C %26 Forum Mod%0D%0AEyrie Productions%2C Unlimited  http%3A%2F%2Fwww.eyrie-productions.com%2F%0D%0Azgryphon at that email service Google has%0D%0A%5Bi%5DCeterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.%5B%2Fi%5D
11|1|0|||1||RE%3A Elder Days Story Time%3A Home Ec|Terminus Est||21:42:30|12/09/2015|Hooo boy.  I never did take Home Ec%2C but I did take %27shop%27 class.%0D%0A%0D%0AWe went through two different teachers for this class while I was in high school.  The first turned out to be a drug dealer%2C who was busted at the post office with a frankly alarming amount of weed.  The second was a basketball coach... who kept a loaded gun in his filing cabinet%2C and on %5Bi%5Dmultiple occasions%5B%2Fi%5D is known to have pulled it on students.%0D%0A%0D%0AI was technically %27in%27 that class for four years %28school I went to had basically zero electives%29... and we never learned how to use a single piece of shop machinery%2C for which I shall always be angry%2C because dammit%2C I wanted to make stuff.
13|1|0|||1||RE%3A Elder Days Story Time%3A Home Ec|MoonEyes||17:51:45|12/10/2015|Proper response for teachers like these%2C though I sadly never used it on mine%28though I HAVE used it on other people%29%3A%0D%0A%0D%0AVade et caca in pilleum et ipse traheatur super aures tuo%21%0D%0A%0D%0AGo shit in a %28knitted%29hat and pull it down around your ears.%0D%0A%0D%0A%0D%0A...%21%0D%0AGott%27s Leetle Feesh in Trousers%21