17||0|3535|0|
0|0|0|||1||epic signage|Gryphon||21:02:20|06/05/2017|Was out and about a little bit ago and saw one of those flashing-arrow signs by a local area gas station%2C advertising the following wares%3A%0D%0A%0D%0A%5Bcenter%5D%5Bb%5DBEER - WINE%0D%0APROPANE SANDWICHES%5B%2Fb%5D%5B%2Fcenter%5D%0D%0A%0D%0ANow%2C I don%27t know about you guys%2C but I find there%27s very little that goes with beer and wine better than a good propane sandwich.%0D%0A%0D%0A--G.%0D%0A-%3E%3C-%0D%0ABenjamin D. Hutchins%2C Co-Founder%2C Editor-in-Chief%2C %26 Forum Mod%0D%0AEyrie Productions%2C Unlimited  http%3A%2F%2Fwww.eyrie-productions.com%2F%0D%0Azgryphon at that email service Google has%0D%0A%5Bi%5DCeterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.%5B%2Fi%5D
1|1|0|||||RE%3A epic signage|mdg1||22:00:05|06/05/2017|Just don%27t ask for it toasted...
2|1|0|||||RE%3A epic signage|alange||23:18:25|06/05/2017|I don%27t know if it is still there%2C but for many years one of the wide spots on Interstate 5 through California%27s Central Valley had one that read%3A%0D%0A%5Bpre%5D%0D%0AGAS      FOOD%0D%0ADIESEL SNACKS%0D%0A%5B%2Fpre%5D%0D%0AGiven the choice between Propane Sandwiches and Diesel Snacks%2C I%27m not sure which I would choose.
3|2|2|||1||RE%3A epic signage|SpottedKitty||08:18:18|06/06/2017|If you have some %22GAS FOOD%22%2C will you have problems standing too near to open flames for the next few hours...%3F  %3Cinnocent look%3E%0D%0A%0D%0A-- %0D%0AUnable to save the day%3A File is read-only.
4|1|0|||1||RE%3A epic signage|ebony14||09:04:24|06/06/2017|There is a strip mall in the northern suburbs of Dallas that used to have a martial arts studio and a bail bondsman located next to each other. Either the two were run by the same people or they had used the same sign company%2C because the fonts on their signs were identical%2C and spaced close enough together that it looked like there was one storefront%2C offering %22KUNG FU BAIL BONDS.%22 %0D%0A%0D%0AI personally thought it sounded like something from a 70s action film%2C starring Pam Grier and Bruce Lee. With appropriate funky bass guitar in the score.%0D%0A%0D%0AEbony the Black Dragon%0D%0A%0D%0A%22Life is like an anole. Sometimes it%27s green. Sometimes it%27s brown. But it%27s always a small Caribbean lizard.%22
5|1|0|||1||RE%3A epic signage|BobSchroeck||22:06:13|06/06/2017|After all that%2C I just have to add my own %22funny sign%22 story.  Unlike all of the above%2C it%27s not the result of a juncture of terms%2C but of bad glue on large plastic letters.%0D%0A%0D%0AA few miles away from our home%2C out on Route 1%2C there is one of those self-storage places.  It%27s been there since the middle eighties%2C when it was one of the first such establishments in the area%2C if not %5Bi%5Dthe%5B%2Fi%5D first.  Because it was one of the local pioneers of the business%2C it had a big sign made up of two-foot-tall white plastic letters glued to a side wall facing the highway intended to explain what it was all about%2C and reading simply %22PUBLIC SELF STORAGE%22.%0D%0A%0D%0AWell%2C a few years after it opened%2C some of those letters fell off the wall and were never replaced.  And for several years after %5Bi%5Dthat%5B%2Fi%5D%2C the building proudly proclaimed that it was the site for %22PUBIC ELF RAGE%22.%0D%0A%0D%0AWe%27d drive by it and every time say something along the lines of %22he%27s still raging%21%22%0D%0A%0D%0AOddly%2C no other letters ever fell off for rest of that sign%27s life %28it was taken down and replaced outright when the place changed hands and brands%29.  So I%27ve always wondered if it hadn%27t been an intentional prank by someone...%0D%0A%0D%0A-- Bob%0D%0A-------------------%0D%0AMy race is pacifist and does not believe in war.  We kill only out of personal spite.
6|1|0|||1||RE%3A epic signage|McFortner||22:28:42|06/06/2017|I remember on I saw on the side of I-80 through Iowa in 1990 that said %28and I kid you not%29%3A%0D%0A%0D%0A%5Bcenter%5D%5Bb%5DGAS and JUNK%5B%2Fb%5D%5B%2Fcenter%5D%0D%0A%0D%0AI wonder if it%27s still there%3F%0D%0A%0D%0A%5Bfont color%3D%22black%22%5DMichael C. Fortner%5B%2Ffont%5D%0D%0A%5Bfont color%3D%22green%22 size%3D-1%5D%22Maxim 37%3A There is no such thing as %22overkill%22.%0D%0AThere is only %22open fire%22 and %22I need to reload%22.%5B%2Ffont%5D
7|1|0|||||RE%3A epic signage|alange||23:14:05|06/06/2017|Ah%2C missing letters changing meanings.  %0D%0A%0D%0AInternational Hose of Pancakes%0D%0A%0D%0AFloop%2C floop%2C floop.
8|1|0|||1||RE%3A epic signage|MoonEyes||06:23:11|06/07/2017|[updated:LAST EDITED ON Jun-07-17 AT 06:25 AM (EDT)]These go under %27missing or modified letters%27%2C and are in Swedish. They%27re both fairly well known from my generation.%0D%0A%0D%0AThe first is from a national bank%2C nowadays known as Swedbank%2C but once upon a time called %22F%C3%B6reningssparbanken%22. Essentiall%2C the %22United Savings Bank%22 or similar%2C about 300-some rural banks all getting together under one umbrella. Anyway%2C some smart person realised that you could modify the above into %22Oren I Baken%22. Which translates into%2C more or less%2C %22Unwashed Ass%22. There is a lovely name for you.%0D%0A%0D%0AThe second is from a company that%2C now%2C is called %22Coop%22. Which also show what it is. Before they became all international-type-named and hip%2C with it and cool%2C they were known as %22Konsum%22%2C short for %22Konsument%22%2C which of course means consumer. Essentially%2C a co-op. And they ran a ad campaign that said%2C %22Kom med i det glada Konsumg%C3%A4nget%22. Join the happy co-op crew. Peppy%2C happy%2C yay. Until someone added the %27umlaut%27 over the on. %22Kom med i det glada K%C3%B6nsumg%C3%A4nget.%22 %22K%C3%B6n%22 means gender%2C as well as sexual organ. Join the happy %27sex-havers%27....%0D%0A%0D%0AAnd then%2C while it isn%27t a sign as SUCH%2C another infamous one in Sweden. There%27s a real estate management company%2C primarily in hospitals%2C in Stockholm%2C called %27locum%27%2C specifically with the lower-case %27L%27. A number of years ago%2C they decided to run an ad campaign showing what wonderful people they were%2C after all%2C hospitals are good things. So%2C they wanted to do a love and happiness thing. And for some reason%2C known only to the gods%2C no-one at the company%2C OR the advertising agency%2C reacted when they replaced the %27o%27 with a heart. Cute and sweet.%0D%0A%0D%0AYep%2C that%27s right%3A I heart cum.%0D%0A%0D%0A%0D%0A%0D%0A...%21%0D%0AStoke Mandeville%2C Esq %26 The Victorian Ballsmiths%0D%0A%5Bsmall%5D%22Nobody Want Verdigris-Covered Balls%21%22%5B%2Fsmall%5D
9|1|0|||1||RE%3A epic signage|Gryphon||00:10:27|09/29/2017|I was just looking through this again%2C and it reminded me of another whole genre of Bad Public Signage we didn%27t get into%2C namely%3A Inappropriate Use of Quotation Marks for Emphasis.  As Us About Our %22Special%22 Prices.  Everything On %22Sale%22.%0D%0A%0D%0AMy personal favorite of these was in the break room of the HVAC company Zoner%27s parents used to run.  He and I spent a weekend wiring the place for Ethernet one time%2C back before wifi was a Thing%2C and at one point I noticed a hand-lettered sign taped to the wall by the fridge reading%3A%0D%0A%0D%0A%5Bb%5D%22EXPERIENCED%22 INSTALLERS WANTED%0D%0A%0D%0A%22COMPETITIVE%22 PAY AND %22GREAT%22 BENEFITS%5B%2Fb%5D%0D%0A%0D%0AMr. and Mrs. Zone ran a quality establishment%2C but I have to say%2C I have encountered furnace companies around these parts that I think meant those sarcasm quotes in exactly the way they look. %3A%29%0D%0A%0D%0A--G.%0D%0A%5Bfont size%3D%221%22%5Dalso that fucking plumber from winter before last%2C holy hell%5B%2Ffont%5D%0D%0A-%3E%3C-%0D%0ABenjamin D. Hutchins%2C Co-Founder%2C Editor-in-Chief%2C %26 Forum Mod%0D%0AEyrie Productions%2C Unlimited  http%3A%2F%2Fwww.eyrie-productions.com%2F%0D%0Azgryphon at that email service Google has%0D%0A%5Bi%5DCeterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.%5B%2Fi%5D
10|2|9|||1||oh yeah%2C also|Gryphon||00:33:21|09/29/2017|You know those light-up marquee-style signs with the flashing arrow at the top%3F  Around here you often see them set up out by the road%2C pointing the way to roadside businesses.  The last time I was at my semi-local Sam%27s getting gas%2C I noticed one over by the little shed where the attendant %5Bs%5Dhides%5B%2Fs%5D shelters from inclement weather%2C advertising the following items%3A%0D%0A%0D%0A%5Bb%5DPRIME RIB %2416.99%2FLB%0D%0ADORITOS PARTY SIZE 2%2F%244.99%0D%0AONE OF THESE SIGNS %24649.95%5B%2Fb%5D%0D%0A%0D%0Awhich made me smile a bit.%0D%0A%0D%0A--G.%0D%0A-%3E%3C-%0D%0ABenjamin D. Hutchins%2C Co-Founder%2C Editor-in-Chief%2C %26 Forum Mod%0D%0AEyrie Productions%2C Unlimited  http%3A%2F%2Fwww.eyrie-productions.com%2F%0D%0Azgryphon at that email service Google has%0D%0A%5Bi%5DCeterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.%5B%2Fi%5D
12|2|9|||1||RE%3A epic signage|SpottedKitty||19:18:58|09/29/2017|Heh%2C we%27ve got at least a couple of places in town known as %E2%80%94%0D%0A%0D%0AMike%27s %22Famous%22 Fish %26 Chips%0D%0A%0D%0ANot sure I want to know what they%27re famous for%3B at least%2C I don%27t %5Bi%5Dthink%5B%2Fi%5D I%27ve seen them implicated as %22the cause%22 by news reporters standing outside a hospital...%0D%0A%0D%0A-- %0D%0AUnable to save the day%3A File is read-only.
13|3|12|||1||RE%3A epic signage|Gryphon||19:48:15|09/29/2017|%3EHeh%2C we%27ve got at least a couple of places in town known as %E2%80%94 %0D%0A%3E%0D%0A%3EMike%27s %22Famous%22 Fish %26 Chips%0D%0A%0D%0AI submit that this is%2C at least%2C more promising than if it was Mike%27s Famous %22Fish%22 and Chips.%0D%0A%0D%0A--G.%0D%0A-%3E%3C-%0D%0ABenjamin D. Hutchins%2C Co-Founder%2C Editor-in-Chief%2C %26 Forum Mod%0D%0AEyrie Productions%2C Unlimited  http%3A%2F%2Fwww.eyrie-productions.com%2F%0D%0Azgryphon at that email service Google has%0D%0A%5Bi%5DCeterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.%5B%2Fi%5D
11|1|0|||1||RE%3A epic signage|Peter Eng||16:41:21|09/29/2017|I%27m reminded of a dry cleaning place which had an unnecessary space in the sign%3A%0D%0A%0D%0ACLEAN YOUR%0D%0ADR APES.%0D%0A%0D%0ANow%2C I don%27t know how many people have an ape%2C let alone one with a doctorate%2C but I%27m pretty sure that there aren%27t many apes that require dry cleaning.  The intersection of these things would seem to be rather small.%0D%0A%0D%0APeter Eng%0D%0A--%0D%0AInsert humorous comment here.
14|2|11|||||RE%3A epic signage|rwpikul||22:01:03|09/30/2017|%3EI%27m reminded of a dry cleaning place which had an unnecessary space in %0D%0A%3Ethe sign%3A %0D%0A%3E%0D%0A%3ECLEAN YOUR %0D%0A%3EDR APES. %0D%0A%3E%0D%0A%3ENow%2C I don%27t know how many people have an ape%2C let alone one with a %0D%0A%3Edoctorate%2C but I%27m pretty sure that there aren%27t many apes that %0D%0A%3Erequire dry cleaning.  The intersection of these things would seem to %0D%0A%3Ebe rather small. %0D%0A%0D%0AApes able to call themselves %22doctor%22 are more common than you might think%2C although they would probably react badly to dry cleaning.%0D%0A
15|3|14|||1||RE%3A epic signage|Gryphon||22:40:51|09/30/2017|%3EApes able to call themselves %22doctor%22 are more common than you might %0D%0A%3Ethink%2C although they would probably react badly to dry cleaning. %0D%0A%0D%0AFor convoluted reasons%2C you have just made me picture Winston from %5Bi%5DOverwatch%5B%2Fi%5D re-enacting the %22Whoopi Goldberg%27s character is high on truth serum%22 scene from %5Bi%5DJumpin%27 Jack Flash%5B%2Fi%5D.  %22You ever wonder what the fuck Martinizing is%3F%22%0D%0A%0D%0A--G.%0D%0A-%3E%3C-%0D%0ABenjamin D. Hutchins%2C Co-Founder%2C Editor-in-Chief%2C %26 Forum Mod%0D%0AEyrie Productions%2C Unlimited  http%3A%2F%2Fwww.eyrie-productions.com%2F%0D%0Azgryphon at that email service Google has%0D%0A%5Bi%5DCeterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.%5B%2Fi%5D
16|1|0|||||RE%3A epic signage|Bakuryu_Hitsuri||00:30:02|10/02/2017|Well%2C we in the mountains on the west coast have fuel stations called...%0D%0A%0D%0AKum and Go%0D%0A%0D%0Aand no%2C I didn%27t misspell that%2C that is in fact what it%27s called.
17|1|0|||1||RE%3A epic signage|Peter Eng||16:28:59|12/04/2017|The food drive is only accepting %22non-parishable food.%22%0D%0A%0D%0AMisspelling%2C or following kashrut%3F  You decide.%0D%0A%0D%0APeter Eng%0D%0A--%0D%0AInsert humorous comment here.