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Subject: "Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story"     Previous Topic | Next Topic
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Gryphonadmin
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Mar-07-07, 04:23 PM (EST)
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"Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story"
 
   LAST EDITED ON Jan-04-17 AT 11:45 PM (EST)
 
This Mini-Story is retroactively dedicated to
Richard J. "Mack" Machowicz
1965-2017


The Weekly Wedge
"All the Wedge Defense Force News that Fits in Print"
Monday, May 24, 2106

Living Large
by Walter Pyle

Stavakel Tzvia - If there's a center to the action in the war with Zeon, Stavakel Tzvia, at first glance, appears to be the place it's furthest from, at least if you're still technically within the theater of operations. It's an insignificant jungle moon orbiting one of the gas giants in the Zeons' home system, so strategically unimportant that it doesn't even appear on most operational maps.

The crew of the patrol boat who brought me to this island seem to think something is up, though. As we get closer to the island, they get visibly nervous - not expecting-combat nervous, but like they don't want to be there. When they drop me off, Petty Officer Willie Manx wishes me good luck.

"Be careful in there, man," he says. "Some of those guys are crazy from the heat."

The boat crew laughs as they pull away from the shore and roar off back up the wide, muddy river. Feeling suddenly exposed, I walk away from the beach. There was supposed to be someone here to meet me, but no one seems to be around, so I follow a clearly visible path inland. Just as I reach the trees, I notice a bright plastic banner slung between two trees so that it overlooks the entrance to the jungle path.

WELCOME TO MONSTER ISLAND, it says in big, cheerful letters.

Oookay then, I think.

A few minutes' walking and I've just begun to think I must be lost, or maybe on the wrong island despite the banner, when a guy in a ghillie suit pops out of the underbrush and nearly scares the wits out of me. He aims an M75 rifle at my chest and glares out from under his leaf-festooned boonie hat with wild eyes made all the more stark by the shoe polish smeared on his face.

"Halt!" he barks in a commanding voice. "Who goes there?"

"My name's Wally Pyle," I replied, trying to sound calm as I indicate my press badge. "I'm with The Weekly Wedge. I'm suppose to interview Captain Short."

The guy puts his weapon up and grins broadly. "Shit, is that today? Sorry, buddy. We all thought you were coming Saturday."

"It is Saturday," I point out.

The sentry looks at his watch and grins again. "Shit, so it is," he says. "Sorry. I've been out here since Monday. The days blend together after a while. C'mon, I'll take you into camp."

After another minute or so of walking, I start to hear music filtering through the jungle. A moment later, the sentry leads me around a bend in the trail and we emerge into a clearing about 200 yards across. Heavy, beaty 20th-century rock music is pumping out of some huge speakers set up near the commo shack; it's "Can U Dig It" by Pop Will Eat Itself, playing so loud I don't recognize it until I catch Optimus Prime's name.

Standing in a row along the far side of the clearing are four MHP-02 Mark III Monster Destroids. I've never actually seen a Monster in person before, and words really can't do them justice. It's one thing to read that a machine stands 74 feet tall (more than seven stories!) and weighs 315 tons, and quite another to come out of a jungle path and see four of them standing in front of you. A Monster is considered a full lance of four normal Destroids on a standard organization chart, which means that with four of them, Company E of the Second Battalion, 20th WDF Destroid Regiment, is technically over-strength.

Over the door of the commo shack, between two of the speakers, is another sign. This one has the WDF trefoil and says "WELCOME TO FIRE BASE TANGO (Here Be Monsters)". All around the clearing, men and women in the jumpsuits of Destroid personnel - most pulled half-down and tied around the waist by the sleeves - seem to be having a party. The Monsters are connected by improvised walkways lashed between the long barrels of their 16-inch naval guns and have what appear to be tents or collapsible howdahs erected on their upper decks, over the cannons' breeches. There are people up there with hibachis. One of the huge Destroids has what looks like a full-service bar on top.

I walk up to one of the partying people - he's wearing the cap of a senior Destroid technician - and ask where I might find Captain Short.

"I believe Captain Short is up on the mezzanine at the moment," he replies, pointing to the howdah on top of the Monster furthest to the left.

It takes me a few minutes to figure out the system of chain ladders, jury-rigged ramps, and plank bridges and actually reach the top of Short's Monster. On the way up, I notice that, in addition to the usual jungle-green paint and standard markings, Short's has a name (Aonghas MacCnagCnag), tartan-like striping on the upper legs, and a public service notice on the back ("HOW'S MY ANNIHILATING? 1-800-CALL-WDF").

On top of Aonghas MacCnagCnag, I find Captain Marlon Short, the company commander. He's a peppery little New Caledonian with a burr you could cut concrete with and a cheerful disposition. His men call him "Shorty", and he's the undisputed master of ceremonies up here. He and the rest of Aonghas's crew, Sergeant Joe Rankin and Corporal Ellie Vultaggio, are grilling up burgers and sausages on a row of hibachis fueled with plastic explosive.

"It burrrns wi' a nice even flaame if ye laigh' it right," Shorty explains.

I start explaining to Shorty that I'm here to interview him as part of our staff profiles series, but he waves it off and says there'll be plenty of time for that later - for now, have soomthin tae eat. After heaping a couple of plates with burgers and some nicely grilled ribs, he takes me across a wobbly plank bridge to the adjoining MHP-02, Horchata. Here, Lieutenant Parker Mendoza presides over a fully stocked bar. I don't ask where they got all the liquor. There must be 20,000 credits' worth up here.

"Welcome to Monster Island, amigo," Mendoza says, handing me an Asrial Pale Ale.

Most of the other Monster crewmen, and a good many of the company's support techs and HQ personnel, are up here, sitting around crate tables on cable spools and lounge chairs, noisily enjoying themselves. They greet me as if I'm some kind of conquering hero. They all want me to sit with them. Shorty deftly leads me through the crowd to a table in the middle and introduces me to the crew of the #3 Monster in the company, Yamato.

Lieutenant Hayashi Hashimoto and his two crewmen, gunner Sergeant Michiko Takahashi and driver Private Yoshi Tsubura, are all Japanese, all impeccably uniformed (unlike anyone else here), and all outstandingly drunk. This is a little nervous-making, since they have swords and pistols. Takahashi, in particular, is surrounded by most of a regiment of spent sake canisters and is wobbling slowly back and forth in her seat, staring with unabashed lust at one of the armaments technicians at a nearby table. He grins nervously back.

They party hard, these Monster Men. I try to remain an uninvolved observer, but it's not really possible. There's too much beer, too much conversation, too much loud music. It was only a little after noon when I arrived, and they seem to be gearing up to go all night.

There's a man in dark grey CVR-3 over in the corner, nursing a light beer and looking a little nervous. His helmet's sitting on the table in front of him, so I can see that he's completely bald and has a bull neck. He tells me his name is Machowicz, and he's not a member of E Company; rather, he's a Shadow Squad trooper who was sent to deliver some critical intel to Captain Short. He's heading back into the wilderness to rejoin his unit in the morning. A very professional guy like all the Shadow types, he seems to disapprove of the Monster Men's lifestyle and envy it at the same time.

When I put this to him, though, he shakes his head. "No, I don't grudge them their party," he says. "They'll earn it tomorrow."

An hour or so later, as night begins to fall, Shorty calls everybody to order and makes a remarkable speech in his rock-cutting burr.

"All right, lads an' lasses. Ye all knoow soomethin's op, an' noow I'm gaunnae tell ye wha' i' is. Our friend from th' Shadow Squad brough' me our new orrrders this mornin', an' now we knoow why we're here. Seems th' factory whar th' Zeons build their Zaku Destroids is on this wee moon, an' th' Shadows found ou' t'other day whare i' is. An' tamorra, we're off tae bloow i' op."

A great cheer goes up from the Monster Men. Hashimoto and his crewmates stand up very straight, raise both hands in the air like turfball referees announcing a touchdown, and yell at the top of their lungs,

"BANZAI! BANZAI! BANZAI!"

"So we've 'ad our fon, an' noow it's taime tae get some rest," Shorty declares. "Tae yer boonks, the lo' o' ye, an' divil take t'hindmost!"

Seized by an impulse I can't explain, I go up to Short as his men disperse and say, "Take me with you on your mission."

He raises an eyebrow. "I thowt ye war here tae interview me for soome fluff piece," he remarks.

"I was," I admit, "but I've never seen a Monster in action."

He considers this for a second, then says, "All ri', faine. Ye can ride wi' Dooglas an' her crew tamorra."

Most of the Monster crews sleep aboard their machines. Machowicz and I bunk with the technicians in one of the prefab shelters at their feet. The next morning, the camp is a hive of activity as the crewmen and techs - none appearing any the worse for wear after the party - dismantle all the stuff attached to the Monsters, the howdahs and ramps and what have you. It's like watching the crew of an 18th-century sailing vessel clear the decks for action.

Machowicz puts on his CVR and climbs onto his Shadow Cyclone. "You sure you want to go with these guys?" he asks me.

I nod. "Sounds more interesting than what I was supposed to be doing."

He grins slightly. "Well, good luck to you," he says. "I don't know how they do it. You wouldn't get me strapped into one of those things in combat. I like to be out where I can see what's going on." He thumbs a control, and he and his Cyclone disappear as the shadow cloak kicks in - everything but, rather disturbingly, his face, since the visor of his helmet is still open. "See you," he says, then shuts the helmet and vanishes entirely. I hear the Cyclone's powerplant kick over and see the slightest flicker of his outline as he rides off into the jungle.

Shorty comes over and leads me down to the fourth Monster in the line. This one has black pinstripes and a large cross motif on the side, and down one of the outboard cannon barrels in large block letters it says "YO WATCH THE BEAT". More writing in that Germano-Gothic heavy metal font near the beast's bulldog prow gives what is apparently its name: The First Föur Black Sabbath Albums.

Lieutenant Lana Douglas is the commander of The First Föur Black Sabbath Albums, and like her ride, she's totally metal - long jet-black hair, eye makeup, the whole shmeer. She and her crew, Sergeant Eli Korben, gunner, and Private Oswald Mayfield, driver, wear black leather jackets over their coveralls and have attached Pickelhaube spikes to their Mark IV helmets. They throw the horns in greeting and seem happy to have my company on the mission.

Captain Short assembles his crews in front of Aonghas MacCnagCnag to deliver the preliminary rundown on where they're going and when. The crew of Yamato are wearing their full-dress uniforms, complete with white gloves and hats. When the briefing-cum-pep-talk is over, they do their Banzai! Banzai! Banzai! routine again, then sprint to their Monster's boarding stairs like the Destroid is their treehouse and school just let out. I notice for the first time that Yamato's tech crew have secured a tall pole to the Destroid's back and fitted it with a gigantic red samurai banner, the top of which towers at least 15 stories above the ground. I follow Douglas and her crew to The First Föur Black Sabbath Albums and we clamber up to the cockpit.

The cockpit of a Monster is a little like the bridge of a Predator-class scoutship. It's surprisingly spacious, with the pilot and gunner sitting side-by-side in front and the commander up on a small dais behind, and holographic monitors all around them. Douglas pops down a small jump seat behind Korben's gunnery station and tells me to enjoy the ride. Fusion reactors rumble to life and the ground trembles as 1,240 tons of machinery moves out.

There is little to compare with riding a Monster on the march. It's a smooth ride; the machines have suspension as massive as the rest of them, and their huge, wide feet give them surprisingly low ground pressure. I can't really convey the feeling of invincibility it provides to crash through dense jungle, the kind of jungle that would severely hamper even light infantry, watching trees fall on the monitors. Monsters can only go about 20 miles per hour, but they don't slow down for much of anything. And Machowicz was wrong about one thing: the view from in here is pretty good. The monitors show a lot. Mayfield tells me the techs are working on a full-surround holographic system that will scrub away the armored cockpit walls and reveal everything for 360 degrees around the machine.

We walk for hours, smashing relentlessly through everything in our path, then abruptly burst out of the trees and find ourselves on a rocky crag overlooking an expanse of wide-open grassland. In the distance, just visible as a hazy smudge against the base of some mountains about 15 miles away, is a settlement of some sort, dominated by several large, low buildings. Mayfield adjusts a few controls and magnifies the image, revealing an industrial complex surrounded by a chain link fence. Humanoid Destroids walk patrol patterns along the fence.

"Well, there it is," Douglas says.

"That's the factory?" I ask.

"According to what the guy from Shadow Squad told Shorty, yeah." She sits back in her command chair, her leather jacket creaking, and grins. "Looks like some J-model Zakus on perimeter defense. They have such pathetic radar sets they don't even know we're here."

"All units, this is Aonghas MacCnagCnag," the voice of Short's gunner, Sergeant Rankin, announces crisply over the comm. (He pronounces it oonish mac CRRNNNNaghCRNNNagh.) "Shadow Squad is designating targets. Set your targeting systems to laser slave mode and prepare to fire."

Korben grins and plies his instruments. Behind us, something shudders and groans as massive pumps start directing liquid propellant into the breeches of the Monster's four colossal rifles. The hull vibrates as massive motors elevate the guns and adjust the positioning of the main body. On the monitor to my left, I can see Horchata going through the same evolutions. A Monster is effectively a walking battleship turret. At range, these four have firepower roughly equivalent to a pair of the Iowa-class vessels used by the United States during Earth's Second World War.

"Targets selected an' locked," comes Shorty's voice. "Right, lads. COMMENCE FIRE!"

From inside the cabin, the noise is less than I was expecting; the vehicles are very heavily buffered so that their crews don't risk hearing loss. Outside, though, the sound alone must be devastating. I feel my seat shift beneath me. On the monitor, I can see Horchata skid backward nearly a full footlength as all four of its guns go off at once, spitting gigantic tongues of fire into the sky. In the background, the outermost trees of the jungle fringe sway and buckle just from the shockwave.

Behind me, I can hear huge mechanisms whose workings I can't begin to fathom selecting fresh shells from the magazines and ramming them into the guns; then the propellant pumps start again. Within 10 seconds, The First Föur Black Sabbath Albums unleashes a second broadside, as do all its brothers. Horchata's feet are dug in and firmly braced now; the machine doesn't move again as it hurls another eight tons of steel, depleted dalekenium, and high explosive downrange.

A short time later, the first shells start arriving. Explosions bloom out of buildings as the two-ton projectiles smash everything in their path. The Zakus on patrol around the perimeter look around and start milling about in clear disarray as things explode around them. Suddenly, a colossal fireball erupts out of what had been a low concrete structure off to one side.

"Holy Christ, did you see that secondary?" comes the voice of Parker Mendoza. "That must've been their ammo bunker. Nice shot, Yamato!"

"Domo arigato gozaimasu, Mendoza-san!" replies Takahashi in a breathlessly excited squeak.

Within two minutes, the Monsters have fired a combined total of almost 200 shells into the complex. Short orders a cease-fire. The factory area is a smoking, cratered moonscape. There's almost no indication that any man-made structures were ever there.

Except for the Zakus. Like hornets maddened by the smashing of their nest, they're running across the grassy plain at full speed, punctuating their strides with great jet-assisted bounding leaps. It didn't take them long to see where the bombardment was coming from.

"Luiks lak we're gaunnae have some coompany," Short says, sounding unconcerned. "Monsters, prepare tae defend yuirselves."

Here is the major drawback of the Monster's massive size and armament. The Destroid's massive size and slow speed make it an easy target. Its main weapons, being heavy artillery, are almost impossible to use against small, fast-moving targets like medium Destroids and armored vehicles. It is armed with a few self-defense weapons - each slab arm mounts a trio of heavy lasers - and its armor is very strong, but still: when Monsters are destroyed in combat, it's usually either by taking fire from enemy ships, or by being overrun and eventually pounded to death by smaller, nimbler foes.

This time they all make it back. Expert gunnery accounts for several of the Zakus; some of the others flee and the rest are dealt with by the Shadow Squad, which arrives with lighter support equipment a few minutes into the engagement. Within a few hours, the Monsters of Company E are back on Monster Island, where their DropShips have arrived and wait to carry them back to the Daedalus.

"Aye, tha's th' life of a Monster jock," Shorty agrees as we leave orbit and head for home. "Days an' days o' waitin' aroound an' a few minutes o' action - bu' it's action tha' can change th' coourse o' th' war. Whenever a Monster fires its guns, ye knoow it's a potential matter o' victory or defeat." He grins and slaps me on the shoulder. "Now, aboot tha' fluff interview ye wanted."

Walter Pyle is a staff correspondent for The Weekly Wedge. He recently request a transfer to front-line combat reporting.

"Living Large" - a Golden Age Mini-Story by Benjamin D. Hutchins
Special to the Eyrie Productions Discussion Forum
Concept developed with Chad Collier
Gàidhlig consultant Janice Barlow
© 2007 Eyrie Productions, Unlimited


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  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
  RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story Tzukumori Mar-07-07 1
     RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story Wedge Mar-08-07 3
         RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story VA_Wanderer Mar-08-07 4
             RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story Gryphonadmin Mar-08-07 5
                 RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story Tzukumori Mar-09-07 12
                 RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story VA_Wanderer Mar-09-07 13
     RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story SpottedKitty Mar-08-07 6
         RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story MOGSY Mar-08-07 7
             RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story BobSchroeck Mar-08-07 9
                 RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story Tabasco Mar-08-07 10
                 RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story MOGSY Mar-08-07 11
                 RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story Gryphonadmin Mar-12-07 15
                     RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story BobSchroeck Mar-13-07 16
                         RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story Lime2K Mar-14-07 20
                     RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story BobSchroeck Mar-13-07 17
  RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story BZArchermoderator Mar-07-07 2
     RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story MOGSY Mar-08-07 8
         RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story Falconaiur Mar-10-07 14
  RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story BLUE Mar-13-07 18
     RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story Gryphonadmin Mar-14-07 19
         RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story BlackAeronaut Sep-11-07 21
  RE: Living Large: Audible Version Chris Redfield Apr-11-08 22
     RE: Living Large: Audible Version Gryphonadmin Apr-11-08 23
         RE: Living Large: Audible Version Star Ranger4 Apr-11-08 24
             RE: Living Large: Audible Version BZArchermoderator Apr-11-08 25
         RE: Living Large: Audible Version mdg1 Apr-11-08 26
             RE: Living Large: Audible Version Gryphonadmin Apr-11-08 27
                 RE: Living Large: Audible Version mdg1 Apr-12-08 28
                     RE: Living Large: Audible Version Gryphonadmin Apr-12-08 29
                         RE: Living Large: Audible Version trboturtle Apr-12-08 30
                             RE: Living Large: Audible Version mdg1 Apr-13-08 31
                                 RE: Living Large: Audible Version Tabasco Apr-14-08 32
  RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story Peter Eng Apr-14-08 33
  RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story Gryphonadmin Jun-29-11 34
     RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story Kokuten Jun-30-11 35
  RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story Bushido Jul-02-11 36
     RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story Star Ranger4 Jul-02-11 37
  RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story MoonEyes Jan-08-17 38
     RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story Gryphonadmin Jan-08-17 39
         RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story MoonEyes Jan-08-17 40
         RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story trboturtle2 Jan-08-17 41

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Tzukumori
Member since Jul-9-03
95 posts
Mar-07-07, 07:58 PM (EST)
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1. "RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story"
In response to message #0
 
   Another enjoyable read that fleshes out the salient details of the UF universe. I could see the imagery... and for some reason, it felt very "Pirates of the Caribbean". Just a quick question:

>As we get closer to the island, they
>get visible nervous - not expecting-combat nervous, but like they
>don't want to be there.

Do you mean "visibly", perhaps?

---

>All around the clearing, men and women in the jumpsuits of Destroid
>personnel - most pulled half-down and tied around the waist by the sleeves -
>seem to be having a party. The Monsters are connected by improvised walkways
>lashed between the long barrels of their 16-inch naval guns and have what
>appear to be tents or collapsible howdahs erected on their upper decks, over
>the cannons' breeches. There are people up there with hibachis. One of them has
>what looks like a full-service bar on top. It takes me a few minutes to figure
>out the system of chain ladders, jury-rigged ramps, and plank bridges...

For some reason, that imagery evokes a sense of pirating and swashbuckling...

>and a public service notice on the back ("HOW'S MY ANNIHILATING?
>1-800-CALL-WDF").

That made me grin. Very nice.

---

>A great cheer goes up from the Monster Men. Hashimoto and his
>crewmates stand up very straight, raise both hands in the air like
>turfball referees announcing a touchdown, and yell at the top of their
>lungs,
>
>"BANZAI! BANZAI! BANZAI!"

and

>going and when. The crew of Yamato are wearing their
>full-dress uniforms, complete with white gloves and hats. When
>the briefing-cum-pep-talk is over, they do their Banzai! Banzai!
>Banzai!
routine again, then sprint to their Monster's
>boarding stairs like the Destroid is their treehouse and school just
>let out.

that scene there made me laugh.

A fun read,
-T.Zukumori

=============================================

"What happened to this one here?"
"I did."
"Uh-huh... and how did you subdue him?"
"I know kung fu."
--cropped from Titans: Convergence by Benjamin D. Hutchins


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Wedge
Charter Member
Mar-08-07, 12:52 PM (EST)
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3. "RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story"
In response to message #1
 
   >>All around the clearing, men and women in the jumpsuits of Destroid
>>personnel - most pulled half-down and tied around the waist by the sleeves -
>>seem to be having a party. The Monsters are connected by improvised walkways
>>lashed between the long barrels of their 16-inch naval guns and have what
>>appear to be tents or collapsible howdahs erected on their upper decks, over
>>the cannons' breeches. There are people up there with hibachis. One of them has
>>what looks like a full-service bar on top. It takes me a few minutes to figure
>>out the system of chain ladders, jury-rigged ramps, and plank bridges...
>
>For some reason, that imagery evokes a sense of pirating and
>swashbuckling...

Heh, there's a little of that, but the bulk of what we were shooting for was the Vietnam-era firebase stuck out in the middle of nowhere. I'm enjoying these short stories because this is the kind of thing we bang around in the Studio while sorting out other stuff. There's been all sorts of little gems like this that come up but then never find a real home. Being able to dress one up and present it is a nice feeling, at least for me.


Chad Collier
Smirking Kilrathi
The Captain of the Gravy Train
"mmmmmm, gots to get me some'a that horchata"


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VA_Wanderer
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Mar-08-07, 01:25 PM (EST)
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4. "RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story"
In response to message #3
 
   LAST EDITED ON Mar-08-07 AT 01:26 PM (EST)
 
> Being able to dress one up and present it is a nice
>feeling, at least for me.

I think you just found a forum to drop these into- honestly, any or all of them could easily find a home in a "mini-stories" section of their respective timelines in the main Eyrie/UF website, but it's always been tidbits like these that make reading the forums so delicious.

We love us some details, and the little forum bits are where to find em.


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Gryphonadmin
Charter Member
18265 posts
Mar-08-07, 02:39 PM (EST)
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5. "RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story"
In response to message #4
 
   >honestly, any or
>all of them could easily find a home in a "mini-stories" section of
>their respective timelines in the main Eyrie/UF website

The vague plan is to gather them together once there's a certain number of them and put up an "omnibus edition" on the main website, probably just under the main UF page (since the mini-stories cover all eras), but we wanted them to be "forum exclusive" for a while first. Kind of a reward for showing up.

Doing that is considerably easier than making a decent presentation space on the main website for the BPGD/H2G2/Galactipedia stuff, which would have to be a lot more heavily formatted and that. We look into that every now and again and may get around to it at some point, but so far it's fallen under the "shackles too much buzz to do" category. :)

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Admin
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/


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Tzukumori
Member since Jul-9-03
95 posts
Mar-09-07, 00:15 AM (EST)
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12. "RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story"
In response to message #5
 
   >>honestly, any or
>>all of them could easily find a home in a "mini-stories" section of
>>their respective timelines in the main Eyrie/UF website
>
>The vague plan is to gather them together once there's a certain
>number of them and put up an "omnibus edition" on the main website,
>probably just under the main UF page (since the mini-stories cover all
>eras), but we wanted them to be "forum exclusive" for a while first.
>Kind of a reward for showing up.

Ooh, like freebie mini-chocolate cookies from Mrs. Fields given out to the first twenty people in line. In the words of Borat, "I like."

-T.Zukumori

=============================================

"What happened to this one here?"
"I did."
"Uh-huh... and how did you subdue him?"
"I know kung fu."
--cropped from Titans: Convergence by Benjamin D. Hutchins


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VA_Wanderer
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Mar-09-07, 08:48 AM (EST)
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13. "RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story"
In response to message #5
 
   >Doing that is considerably easier than making a decent presentation
>space on the main website for the BPGD/H2G2/Galactipedia stuff, which
>would have to be a lot more heavily formatted and that. We look into
>that every now and again and may get around to it at some point, but
>so far it's fallen under the "shackles too much buzz to do" category.
>:)
>
>--G.
>-><-
>Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Admin
>Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/

Even a chronological order (in order of posting them, not UF timeframe) listing of the info chunks would be neato. Goodness knows there's likely a pile of them buried deep in the forums, going back for years now.


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SpottedKitty
Member since Jun-15-04
448 posts
Mar-08-07, 06:08 PM (EST)
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6. "RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story"
In response to message #1
 
   >>and a public service notice on the back ("HOW'S MY ANNIHILATING? 1-800-CALL-WDF").
>
>That made me grin. Very nice.

I giggled for five minutes non-stop. The first thing I read after I did stop was the name of the fourth Monster. That was ten minutes ago...

--
Unable to save the day: File is read-only.


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MOGSY
Charter Member
Mar-08-07, 07:48 PM (EST)
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7. "RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story"
In response to message #6
 
   >>>and a public service notice on the back ("HOW'S MY ANNIHILATING? 1-800-CALL-WDF").
>>

I need to get that (or a slight variation thereof) on a coin or something....

"A good plan executed now is better than a perfect plan next week" - Gen George S. Patton, Jr.


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BobSchroeck
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Mar-08-07, 08:26 PM (EST)
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9. "RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story"
In response to message #7
 
   LAST EDITED ON Mar-08-07 AT 08:26 PM (EST)
 
>I need to get that (or a slight variation thereof) on a coin or
>something....

I could work it up as a bumper sticker over at the CafePress Duelists' store I'm still maintaining. Would that be acceptable?

-- Bob
-------------------
The President is on the line
As ninety-nine crab rangoons go by...


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Tabasco
Member since Dec-4-06
183 posts
Mar-08-07, 08:45 PM (EST)
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10. "RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story"
In response to message #9
 
   That would be awesome.

--------------------
Space for Rent


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MOGSY
Charter Member
Mar-08-07, 08:56 PM (EST)
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11. "RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story"
In response to message #9
 
   >>I need to get that (or a slight variation thereof) on a coin or
>>something....
>
>I could work it up as a bumper sticker over at the
>CafePress Duelists' store I'm
>still maintaining. Would that be acceptable?
>
>-- Bob
>-------------------
>The President is on the line
>As ninety-nine crab rangoons go by...

That would be pretty sweet :)

...and the sudden thought hit me: http://www.militarycoins.com/ , if this, as a tradition, would survive and thrive, and what one's collection would look like after a couple hundred years of service :)


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Gryphonadmin
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Mar-12-07, 11:10 PM (EST)
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15. "RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story"
In response to message #9
 
   LAST EDITED ON Jun-29-11 AT 02:57 AM (EDT)
 
[Finally got around to bothering to set up a thumbnail for this so it would stop blowing the horizontal hold out when Viewing All on the comment stream for this story. --G.]

>I could work it up as a bumper sticker over at the
>CafePress Duelists' store I'm
>still maintaining. Would that be acceptable?

Here you go (click for humongous). Even made it with the Cafe Press bumper sticker template. :)

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Admin
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/


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BobSchroeck
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Mar-13-07, 08:13 PM (EST)
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16. "RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story"
In response to message #15
 
   >Here you go. Even made it with the Cafe Press bumper sticker
>template. :)

Wow. I was just going to post a thumbnail of the one I worked up a minute or so ago... I'll use yours, of course, but I'll post the thumbnail just so I don't feel like my last half hour's been wasted. <grin>

-- Bob
-------------------
The President is on the line
As ninety-nine crab rangoons go by...


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Lime2K
Member since May-4-04
108 posts
Mar-14-07, 00:49 AM (EST)
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20. "RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story"
In response to message #16
 
   And the funniest part?

1-800-CALL-WDF actually isn't anyone's nomber yet (so claim it quick if you want it!)

--------------
Lime2K
The One True Evil Overlord


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BobSchroeck
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Mar-13-07, 08:24 PM (EST)
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17. "RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story"
In response to message #15
 
   >Here you go. Even made it with the Cafe Press bumper sticker
>template. :)

Thanks again! And here it is:

"How's My Annihiliating?" Bumpersticker

And the whole store is, once again, at:

DSMMI Duelists' Store

-- Bob
-------------------
The President is on the line
As ninety-nine crab rangoons go by...


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BZArchermoderator
Member since Nov-9-05
1656 posts
Mar-07-07, 08:45 PM (EST)
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2. "RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story"
In response to message #0
 
   I have to admit, when I saw the title, I thought we might be getting a peek into the life of (The Man, The Myth, The Legend) Gojira Nakajima, but this was a kick-ass surprise.

Keep 'em coming!

---------------------------
Matt "BZArcher" Wagner
@BZArcher / bzarcher at gmail
"Here's an itemized list of 30
years of disagreements!"


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MOGSY
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Mar-08-07, 07:55 PM (EST)
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8. "RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story"
In response to message #2
 
   >>>>Lieutenant Lana Douglas is the commander of The First Fur Black Sabbath Albums, and like her ride, she's totally metal - long jet-black hair, eye makeup, the whole shmeer. She and her crew, Sergeant Eli Korben, gunner, and Private Oswald Mayfield, driver, wear black leather jackets over their coveralls and have attached Pickelhaube spikes to their Mark IV helmets. They throw the horns in greeting and seem happy to have my company on the mission.<<<

So, if I happened to park a Monster named "The Mob Rules" next to them blasting "Rainbow in the Dark" over loudspeakers, I could expect a little trouble 'eh? :)

"If you listen to fools...."


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Falconaiur
Charter Member
Mar-10-07, 06:49 PM (EST)
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14. "RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story"
In response to message #8
 
   This.. this is a great mini-story.

"The First Four Black Sabbath Albums" painted on the monster..

Now THAT just shattered me into hysterics. I absolutely had to go digging around for Think Tank by one Mr. Henry Rollins.

Good show on adding that tidbit of humor!


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BLUE
Member since Oct-22-02
386 posts
Mar-13-07, 11:58 PM (EST)
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18. "RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story"
In response to message #0
 
   >It takes me a few minutes to figure out the system of chain ladders,
>jury-rigged ramps, and plank bridges and actually reach the top of
>Short's Monster. On the way up, I notice that, in addition to
>the usual jungle-green paint and standard markings, Short's has a name
>(Aonghas MacCnagCnag), tartan-like striping on the upper legs,
>and a public service notice on the back ("HOW'S MY ANNIHILATING?
>1-800-CALL-WDF").

This whole section slays me, from the tartan leggings to the name to the PSA. I'm half-tempted to pull an old artbook out just to do a color version of the beast. I can just imagine people who've never met Short trying to pronounce his Monster's name...

"On-gas Mac-nag-nag?"

Short can then point out why it's bad to upset someone who commands a Monster.

-D-

"I don't tell you how to remove bullets. Don't you tell me how to make killing machines back into little girls." Captain Kaff Tagon of Tagon's Toughs, Schlock Mercenary


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Gryphonadmin
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Mar-14-07, 00:00 AM (EST)
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19. "RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story"
In response to message #18
 
   >I can just imagine people who've never
>met Short trying to pronounce his Monster's name...
>
>"On-gas Mac-nag-nag?"

Ardie, who takes Gaelic classes, informs me that it's Gaelic for "Angus McBangBang", and I have no reason to doubt her. :)

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Admin
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/


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BlackAeronaut
Member since Apr-15-15
1 posts
Sep-11-07, 08:25 PM (EST)
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21. "RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story"
In response to message #19
 
   >Ardie, who takes Gaelic classes, informs me that it's Gaelic for
>"Angus McBangBang", and I have no reason to doubt her. :)

I'm glad my room mate wasn't around at that moment. He would have begun to question my sanity at the giggling fit I just had.


Black Aeronaut Technologies
Creative aerospace solutions for the discerning spacer
"To the commissary we should go," Yoda declared firmly. "News of this kind a danish requires."


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Chris Redfield
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255 posts
Apr-11-08, 11:11 AM (EST)
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22. "RE: Living Large: Audible Version"
In response to message #0
 
   I really liked being able to listen to this while doing random work junk. I hadn't made it through this mini-story before, so it was really entertaining.

Its a shame the whole recording process is too cumbersome for the larger works.

-------------------------------------
Chris can't handle chemicals


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Gryphonadmin
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Apr-11-08, 12:06 PM (EST)
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23. "RE: Living Large: Audible Version"
In response to message #22
 
   >Its a shame the whole recording process is too cumbersome for the
>larger works.

Well, it's not really the process; all that takes is time and water. But the audio files take up a lot more disk space, and require a lot more bandwidth to distribute, than plain text.

I suppose there's one bit of the process that's a little tricky, and that's figuring out ways of speaking things that are done up as text tricks (the Internet chat sequences in Last Transport, for instance, have so far foiled any attempt I might make to record that one).

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Admin
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/


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Star Ranger4
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Apr-11-08, 12:16 PM (EST)
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24. "RE: Living Large: Audible Version"
In response to message #23
 
   >Well, it's not really the process; all that takes is time and
>water. But the audio files take up a lot more disk space, and require
>a lot more bandwidth to distribute, than plain text.
>
There is that... though after listening again to your dulcet tenor, I have to wonder... Did you ever consider a career in radio? I mean, you've got the sort of trust inducing voice NPR would kill for. And if they were willing to buy some of your recorded bits from your book it might give you a bit of better exposure as well as some income...


Of COURSE you wernt expecting it!
No One expects the FANNISH INQUISITION!
RCW# 86


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BZArchermoderator
Member since Nov-9-05
1656 posts
Apr-11-08, 02:52 PM (EST)
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25. "RE: Living Large: Audible Version"
In response to message #24
 
   Agreed - there was a very nice "Books on Tape" vibe to it.

---------------------------
Matt "BZArcher" Wagner
@BZArcher / bzarcher at gmail
"Here's an itemized list of 30
years of disagreements!"


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mdg1
Member since Aug-25-04
1122 posts
Apr-11-08, 09:41 PM (EST)
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26. "RE: Living Large: Audible Version"
In response to message #23
 
   I'm just fascinated by how good your burr is.

Mario


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Gryphonadmin
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Apr-11-08, 10:06 PM (EST)
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27. "RE: Living Large: Audible Version"
In response to message #26
 
   >I'm just fascinated by how good your burr is.

It comes and goes. Some days I can't do anything other than a crappy Lucky Charms Irishman, or occasionally a rather clumsy Political Officer Putin.

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Admin
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/


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mdg1
Member since Aug-25-04
1122 posts
Apr-12-08, 08:42 AM (EST)
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28. "RE: Living Large: Audible Version"
In response to message #27
 
   If I hear an accent long enough, I can dupe it temporarily (I discovered that when I was in the UK on a business trip), but I can't do it at will.

I also liked the fact that Machowicz had his own "voice".

Mario


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Gryphonadmin
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Apr-12-08, 01:28 PM (EST)
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29. "RE: Living Large: Audible Version"
In response to message #28
 
   >I also liked the fact that Machowicz had his own "voice".

Heh, that was my half-assed impression of the actual Richard Machowicz (host of the Discovery Channel's FutureWeapons), who does in fact always talk like he's doing a bad Kevin Conroy-as-Batman (or maybe Jack Palance). :)

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Admin
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/


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trboturtle
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Apr-12-08, 11:01 PM (EST)
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30. "RE: Living Large: Audible Version"
In response to message #29
 
   >>I also liked the fact that Machowicz had his own "voice".
>
>Heh, that was my half-assed impression of the actual Richard Machowicz
>(host of the Discovery Channel's FutureWeapons), who does in
>fact always talk like he's doing a bad Kevin Conroy-as-Batman (or
>maybe Jack Palance). :)
>
>--G.
>-><-
>Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Admin
>Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/


Considering that Mchowicz was a SEAL, all I can say is if he wants to sound like a bad Kevin Conroy-as-Batman or Jack Palance, is "okay!" B-D

Craig
(Still, he gets to play with some nice stuff on FutureWeapons, doesn't he? B-D)


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mdg1
Member since Aug-25-04
1122 posts
Apr-13-08, 07:48 PM (EST)
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31. "RE: Living Large: Audible Version"
In response to message #30
 
   Now I'm wondering what sort of toys the UF-equivalent gets to play with on his show. First thing that leaps to mind is the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device . :)

Mario


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Tabasco
Member since Dec-4-06
183 posts
Apr-14-08, 09:10 AM (EST)
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32. "RE: Living Large: Audible Version"
In response to message #31
 
   'A division of Genom technologies'

It creeps me out I can hear the advertising jingle already.

--------------------
Space for Rent


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Peter Eng
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1299 posts
Apr-14-08, 04:00 PM (EST)
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33. "RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story"
In response to message #0
 
   I liked the recording. Half my brain was expecting the last line to be in a different voice - I think it's exposure to NPR, because you sound a lot like one of the NPR reporters.

Peter Eng
--
I'm only a Charter Member because of the DCForum upgrade, and because there's no rank below "Clueless F!wit."


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Gryphonadmin
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Jun-29-11, 03:00 AM (EST)
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34. "RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story"
In response to message #0
 
   Nothing to get too excited about, I just finally got around to thumbnailing my HOW'S MY ANNIHILATING? bumper sticker so it would stop blowing out the horizontal hold when Viewing All on the comment stream.

Living Large is still one of my favorite minis. It's that rare example of a UF story that totally worked for me with Nobody You Know in it at all (unless you count Mack).

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Admin
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.


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Kokuten
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Jun-30-11, 00:33 AM (EST)
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35. "RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story"
In response to message #34
 
   It's always been a wonderful flavor-of-the-WDF short, but

>Aonghas MacCnagCnag

just tickles my funny bone.

--
Kokuten Daysleeper
RCW #13013
(Insert Witticism Here)


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Bushido
Member since Apr-8-10
337 posts
Jul-02-11, 01:42 PM (EST)
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36. "RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story"
In response to message #0
 
   Did no one else ever pick up on "eight tons of steel, depleted dalekenium, and high explosive downrange?" It gives me the the mental image of a giant bullet with a dead Dalek stuck on the end of it.

--------
Wedge Defense Force General Order 12: "Try to avoid freaking the mundanes."


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Star Ranger4
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37. "RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story"
In response to message #36
 
   >Did no one else ever pick up on "eight tons of steel, depleted
>dalekenium
, and high explosive downrange?" It gives me the the
>mental image of a giant bullet with a dead Dalek stuck on the end of
>it.

Nope. I just interpreted it as the WDF equivalent of APDSDU (the M1 and later versions 'silver bullet' rounds aka 'Round, 120mm smoothbore, Armor Piercing, Discarding Sabot, Depleted Uranium) till now.

I doubt I will be able to ever visualise it so simply again thanks to you. Or even funnier, an almost but not quite dead weakly murmering "An-NILe-eight" all the way to the target.


Of COURSE you wernt expecting it!
No One expects the FANNISH INQUISITION!
RCW# 86


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MoonEyes
Member since Jun-29-03
499 posts
Jan-08-17, 07:43 PM (EST)
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38. "RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story"
In response to message #0
 
   >Richard J. "Mack" Machowicz
>1965-2017

What in the absolute hell?!

...!
Gott's Leetle Feesh in Trousers!


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Gryphonadmin
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18265 posts
Jan-08-17, 07:46 PM (EST)
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39. "RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story"
In response to message #38
 
   >>Richard J. "Mack" Machowicz
>>1965-2017
>
>What in the absolute hell?!

Yeah, fuck cancer.

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.


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MoonEyes
Member since Jun-29-03
499 posts
Jan-08-17, 08:25 PM (EST)
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40. "RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story"
In response to message #39
 
   >Yeah, fuck cancer.

Right in the eye-socket! Irony and all(being thoroughly one-eyed at the moment)

...!
Gott's Leetle Feesh in Trousers!


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trboturtle2
Member since Jul-4-09
133 posts
Jan-08-17, 10:49 PM (EST)
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41. "RE: Living Large: A Golden Age Mini-Story"
In response to message #39
 
   >>>Richard J. "Mack" Machowicz
>>>1965-2017
>>
>>What in the absolute hell?!
>
>Yeah, fuck cancer.
>
>--G.

There's a charity by that name (Fuck Cancer) --- Stephen Amell (Arrow) been involved with the charity for a couple of years now......

Craig

-----------------------------
Writer for BattleCorps.com and
Battletech/Co-author of Outcast Ops:
African Firestorm, Outcast Ops: Red
Ice, and the soon to be released,
Outcast Ops: Watchlist. All around
semi-nice guy! Really!!


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