Chip's Evil Once-a-Month Taco Dip

1 8 ounce package of cream cheese
1 can of chili, no beans (I prefer Hormel)
2-4 tablespoons of hot sauce
1 1/2 cups of shredded cheddar cheese

Don't let the simplicity of this fool you--it's been a crowd-pleaser ever since my uncle gave me the recipe. This was given to him by a former CPO in the Navy back in the 1990's. She gave up custodianship of it for the monthly birthdays because a rather snide manager claimed that it wasn't hot enough. Taking it upon himself to avenge her honor, the original modification called for a puree of jalapeno peppers and oil--which had eye-opening results on said manager. For the sake of convenience, hot sauce was used in later servings.

Why am I not using chili with beans? It's a big galaxy out there and some life-forms don't tolerate beans very well. I'll leave it at that. You want to please your diners, not cause discomfort.

The choice of hot sauce has been left vague because everyone has different tastes and piquancy thresholds. I personally prefer a concoction of Tabasco and two other sauces. Utena has the entire formula, and I'm afraid that you'll have to duel her to get it.

Preparation:

In a 7 x 10 glass dish, spread the cream cheese to an even layer. Then add the hot sauce (or hot sauces) on top of the cream cheese. The more adventurous may dab bits of habanero sauce in the corners. Spread the chili over this layer and then sprinkle the cheddar cheese on top. Bake for 30-45 minutes at 350 degrees F until the top cheese layer is melted, or microwave for about 6 minutes.

That's it! Serve with tortilla chips (with or without lime), provide spoons for scooping, and stand back! This serves between 4-6 people, depending on how much they scoop.

Closing notes:

In case you haven't noticed, this is bad for you. That's why the words "Once a Month" are in highlights like that. This makes a great post-duel reward, though...but if you want to keep in fighting trim (and what Duelist doesn't?), heed my warning.

On a whim, I had my girlfriend do a nutritional analysis on this and she was utterly appalled. Then she and her family tried it, and--well, let's just say that the dip smoothed over any language barriers I'd been experiencing (my Jive is serviceable, but not flowing).

If you wanted to make this a little upscale, I suppose that you could make your own chili and perhaps blend the cream cheese with the sauce mixture--but this is for convenience's sake.

Enjoy,

--C. P. "Chip" Mui

And in the sake of completeness, my own personal chili recipe features 1/2 pound dried beans, 1 lb ground beef, 1/2 medium or large onion chopped, 2 jalapenos chopped, 1 habanero roasted and chopped with seeds and ribs removed, 30 tortilla chips, and my homemade chili powder. That's everything I can think of right now. No tomatoes, although I suppose I'll have to add them if I ever cook it for my dad.

“Navigare Necesse Est”-'I thought you knew how to steer this thing!'