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Forum Name: Undocumented Features General
Topic ID: 11
Message ID: 0
#0, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the (UF) Galaxy
Posted by Redneck on Apr-25-01 at 00:44 AM
The series of tales collected under the title of Undocumented Features make only the rarest of mentions to a certain book.

The reason for this may be that the chroniclers of the history of the Known Galaxy from the 20th to the 25th centuries also 'moonlight' for the publishers of that book, and as such are reluctant to call attention to any connection between the works thereof.

This is a pity, as it really is a remarkable book, the most popular book ever to emerge from the great publishing houses of Ursa Minor, more popular than the ExoSalusia Arms Catalog, better selling than Build Your Own Hyperdrive Using Only Household Tools, and more controversial than Morin Trion's trilogy, The Dirty Pair are Lesbo Freaks, The Dirty Pair's Favorite Sexual Positions, and The Uncoerced Apology and Retraction to the Lovely Angels.

On many of the more relaxed worlds of the Known Galaxy, it has even replaced works such as the Encyclopaedia Galactica as the standard repository of all knowledge, for though it has many omissions, and contains much that is apocryphal, inaccurate, or out-and-out fabrication, it scores over the older and more pedestrian work in two significant respects.

First, it is significantly cheaper; and second, it has the words DON'T PANIC written in large friendly letters on the cover.

It is, in fact, that shaper of cultures and rescuer of lost spacers across the cosmos, the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

Selected unedited entries from various time periods, generally centered around the very end of the 24th Century (2389 - 2400), have come into our hands, and now and again as we decompress them from the high-density digital format they were recorded in into plain text, they may or may not be made available here for your edification.

Certain subjects already covered quite comprehensively in existing text, such as (for example) the history of the Cybertronean people will not be covered here (except to mention that the Guide entry referring to the vast and delightful array of intoxicating beverages available in Cybertronean bars neglects to caution that organic life forms cannot digest, or survive, the beverages involved). The articles presented here will follow the sample posted immediately thereafter, covering subjects which are touched in passing by the chronicles, but which are not fully explained and which may confuse the uncautious reader.

(Any confusion which persists -after- reading the entries is only to be expected. The Guide's attitude towards correcting errors is that, when there is a conflict between the Guide and the rest of the universe, it's the rest of the universe that has it wrong.)

Be warned that these articles were not edited by the Guide staff or by the editors of the chronicles, and as such they are prone to be even more inaccurate than the usual Guide entries. Where conflicts arise, we refer you to the chronicles of Undocumented Features, which are always the last word until we change our minds next.

--- Redneck

Red wizard needs money badly...
White Lightning Productions - don't tell the Pope