"THIS is the future of Earth's music!  Don't you understand?
Fifteen thousand years of human cultural evolution has all been
leading up to THIS!"
        "Then may God save the people of the Earth, young man," a
gruff voice called anonymously from somewhere in the largest mass of
formally-dressed visitors.  {...}
        "Er... well," said Monsieur Chalfant uneasily from the
podium.  "Yes.  Well, for those of you whose tastes are somewhat
less... shall we say catholic... "
        "Shall we say 'terrible'," said the waggish voice, drawing
another laugh.
        "... Er... if you please, M. Statler," {...}

Bastard!

...

DOUBLE BASTARD!!!!!

I didn't actually shatter on this one, but only because I spent at least a minute repeating the above... :)

Offsides

#include <janitors.h> - yes, there is a story to this, but you'll have to ask me about it privately - it's a long one... :)