>I have vegetarian friends who go out to eat, announce they're
>vegetarian...and get handed chicken?!?!?
>
>I may not be vegetarian myself, but that has to surpass simple
>ignorance in some sort of profound meta-physical way...

Yes. I've met vegetarians like this.
"I'm a vegetarian."
"Then why are you eating chicken/turkey/fish?"
"But I don't eat meat."
"No, you don't eat red meat. Don't make the rest of us look bad."
-- actual conversation

-- Sean --
and then a friend of mine who'd just gone vegetarian went out to dinner with me and ordered gravy fries...?!
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