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Forum Name: Undocumented Features General
Topic ID: 2245
Message ID: 39
#39, CSI in the Sphere - my third re-read
Posted by trigger on Apr-01-04 at 12:54 PM
In response to message #0

I liked it a lot (read it a couple days ago when it first came out, but like has slammed me so hard, I haven't been able to post). I re-read for the second time last night.

- Not your best writing, but true to the scripting of CSI (love the LV much more than Miami).

- This might be first true SI I've seen y'all write. Usually you don't write yourselves into the source material without altering the source material alot more. Any particular reason?

- Greg was inspired

- I'm sorry to see that Nick and Warick (with the exceptions of the gambling reference and the dig at Nick's competition with Sara) were kinda one dimentional. They're like that on the show too, and while I appreciate their eye candy qualities, I'm a little disappointed y'all didn't expand on them - or give them another case to work.

- Nice job with Sara; she seems a lot less bitter than her TV counterpart which make me more sympathetic to her. Still, i don't see what Gryph sees in her.

- Catherine was great but kinda wierd - a lot more perky but still with all the nice sharp edges; I kept looking for the simmering resentment (and repartee with Grissom) that is so part of her TV avatar. Ah well, to each their own. I look forward to the backstory since it sounds like she was a around at the creation of New Avalon, which must have been something to see.

- Brass was sweet, and the dig at the New Avalon county sherif - <i>parfait</i>

- I found Depew...well, boring? He was kinda cool in the begining, but the confession thing at the end (very CSI btw) was just, well, too easy. Yeah, the guy totally needed to vent, but he didn't have very much personality (sorry dude!) and if Gil Grissom wasn't disecting him, I wouldn't have really cared. Actually, not that I think about during my re-reads I skipped his confession. Hmm.

- Also was that bit inspired by Cowboy Bebop?

- Great focus on New Avalon (A city that doesn't get enough love). Good tie ins with our existing knowledge of the city, esp. the neighborhoods. Ditto with Big Fire. I'll point out a possible mistake Gyph and team made by aprehending Depew - he hadn't made it all the way to Agent A, and wouldn't it make sense to use whatever this guy has to find her?

- I'll also note that the IPO's authority in the sphere was remarkably unhampered by the local cops. I know Gryph owns the place, but law enforcement agencies have been tradionally rivals, and given the sherif...well, I was a little disappointed by the lack of that back story, but hey, it was pretty awesome, so I shouldn't complain.

Last and not least - Gil Grissom, warrior? What gives?!

it was fun,

Trigger Argee
Manon, Maccadon, Orado, etc.
Denton, never leave home without it.

"And I will see to it that your PLASMA-BLEACHED BONES
decoratethehalloftheVANQUISHED, you WORRRRRM! There they shall serve
as a perpetual reminder to FUTURE GENERATIONS of the FOLLY of contending
SKULL!" - Zim, having a little fun