My first name is Bjorn. My mother's first name is Jette. (She's Danish; I'm excruciatingly American, though I have inherited the Danish people's love to party.)

My mother's nomic struggles have been straightforward: telemarketers asking for Jeet, Jetty, Jet, and so forth. However, from an early age, I had endless playground struggles with various bullies, the worst of whom were Star Trek literates who would wrinkle their noses at me and call me Bajoran.