#0, what a strange experience
Posted by Gryphon on Feb-21-24 at 10:20 PM
LAST EDITED ON Feb-21-24 AT 10:24 PM (EST)
fair warning: possible medical TMI, mention of bodily wastes
So, I just had my first annual physical since I turned 50,* and that means regular screenings for colorectal cancer are now on my doctor's radar. However, instead of the expected colonoscopy, he sent in a referral for something called a Cologuard test. I guess the strategy with this is that if it's negative, we drive on, but if it's positive or ambiguous, then we send in the camera crew.
The test kit arrived on my doorstep yesterday. I'll spare you the details (although objectively, the procedure is kinda neat), but the upshot is that it's an apparatus for collecting and preserving a stool sample. You, uh... do the thing, seal the collection unit and then seal it again in what I think is the heaviest-duty plastic bag I've ever seen, and... ship it back to the lab by UPS Next Day Air** in the same box in which it arrived. Which means this morning, I went to my local auto parts store, which is a UPS dropoff point, and placed it in their care. And I'll tell you what, it is a weird feeling to walk out of an auto parts store knowing that the box you just left on their counter contains a plastic tub full of... Funnily enough, the box is very discreet—it doesn't have any biohazard markings on it or anything like that—but it does have the name and address of the lab company and a stylized "CG" logo, so to anyone unfamiliar with the, uh, product, there's nothing at all distinctive about it... but if you know, you know. --G.
* fuck me, I still can't get used to that
** what can brown do for you, indeed
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.
#1, RE: what a strange experience
Posted by BZArcher on Feb-22-24 at 12:09 PM
In response to message #0
Katherine has issues with frequent kidney stones, so occasionally there will be a weekend where she uses a similar service to collect a sample over 24-48 hours and then take the return parcel to fedex so it can be whisked away for analysis. Sometimes the future is just weird.
#2, RE: what a strange experience
Posted by MoonEyes on Feb-24-24 at 09:33 AM
In response to message #0
LAST EDITED ON Feb-24-24 AT 09:33 AM (EST)
>* fuck me, I still can't get used to that
>-><-
Yeah, you and me both. I'll just go along my day and then something or other reminds me and I spend the next minute all boggled that that's the number. Makes no sense that my age is that far advanced.
...!
Stoke Mandeville, Esq & The
Victorian Ballsmiths
"Nobody Want Verdigris-
Covered Balls!"
#3, RE: what a strange experience
Posted by StClair on Feb-25-24 at 00:53 AM
In response to message #2
Sometimes for me it's as simple as glancing at a document and reflecting that, yes, that is the actual present date, we are all living in the 2020s and only some of us think that's weird.... sometimes it's a bit more esoteric, like when I dropped a reference into chat earlier about sculpting a mountain out of mashed potatoes, and only one other person knew what I was talking about.
#4, RE: what a strange experience
Posted by Gryphon on Feb-25-24 at 01:32 AM
In response to message #3
"I do a great Jack Benny, but nobody really gets it any more."
- Atomic Robo, paraphrased from memory--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.
#6, RE: what a strange experience
Posted by McFortner on Feb-25-24 at 06:45 PM
In response to message #4
 Michael C. Fortner
"Maxim 37: There is no such thing as "overkill".
There is only "open fire" and "I need to reload".
#5, RE: what a strange experience
Posted by CdrMike on Feb-25-24 at 01:57 AM
In response to message #3
>Sometimes for me it's as simple as glancing at a document and
>reflecting that, yes, that is the actual present date, we are all
>living in the 2020s and only some of us think that's weird.
>
>... sometimes it's a bit more esoteric, like when I dropped a
>reference into chat earlier about sculpting a mountain out of mashed
>potatoes, and only one other person knew what I was talking about. I found myself actually using the phrase "When I was your age..." in reference to the Fallout franchise the other day and immediately had to stop and think to myself "Oh God, it's finally happened."
#7, RE: what a strange experience
Posted by Mephron on Feb-25-24 at 07:27 PM
In response to message #5
>I found myself actually using the phrase "When I was your age..." in
>reference to the Fallout franchise the other day and immediately had
>to stop and think to myself "Oh God, it's finally happened." I had someone who didn’t realize my age (I’m older than Ben, but have been told I really don’t look it) try to tell me stuff about the original Sailor Moon series. From the 90s. Which I watched on bootleg tapes as it was coming out. I replied, “Do not quote the deep magic at me, chuckles; I was there when it was written and I saw it on VHS on tapes I bought in Chinatown.” It made me feel very old for a moment. --
Jen Dantes - Darth Mephron
Haberdasher to Androids, Dark Lady of Sith Tech Support.
"This may not be a good idea, but it's the only one I have."
#8, RE: what a strange experience
Posted by zojojojo on Feb-27-24 at 02:22 PM
In response to message #0
i was in a very similar position in the fall (you and i apparently share a birthdate) and what tickled me the most was that not only did the UPS store i went to have a stack of some half-dozen of these boxes on the back counter awaiting shipment, but i literally walking into the store behind a woman carrying a very familiar box, as well!-Z
i know i'm old when i hear Nirvana on WZLX
---
Remember kids: guns make you stupid, duct tape makes you smart.
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