I don't see you doing a better version!

This is probably because you are a rational human being, but whatever, the point still stands.

Except that it doesn't.

Um... uh-oh.

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"She's old, she's lame, she's barren too, // "She's not worth feed or hay, // "But I'll give her this," - he blew smoke at me - // "She was something in her day." -- Garnet Rogers, Small Victory

FiMFiction.net: we might accept blatant porn involving the cast of My Little Pony but as God is my witness we have standards.

I wasn't entirely serious about the whole thing, but hey, Awful British Sex Comedy is a trope for a reason...