>This reminds me of people who object to polyamory.
>
>Not the practice, the word.
>
>Because it mixes Greek (poly-) and Latin (-amory) roots. It should
>(they say, tongue firmly planted in cheek) be polyeros or multiamory.
>
>In any event "heteronormative" shares similar logic in its derivation
>as homophobia, transphobia, cissexism,
>transmisogyny, and other terms we've had to create, where the
>omitted components are understood.

I know what the words mean, and regret their necessity. I was in fact mostly joking, and attempting to subtly suggest that Gryph's syllable-count-based complaint was similarly ridiculous. (My complaint is sincere, from a philological perspective (it makes much more sense than complaining about mixing Greek stems and Latin roots, since the Romans themselves were guilty of that), but I do recognize that from a practical standpoint it's absurd.)

>Anthy's "child of love" bit is very heteronormative,

Gryph's already touched on this, but I'll try to clarify things by explaining what I think went through Anthy's mind to bring that scene about. You see, her reluctance towards ovifusion is a complete fabrication, designed to facilitate Plan: Complete the Circle. She took advantage of the fact that many people unthinkingly accept heteronormative hang-ups to create an excuse to ask Utena for permission to bed Corwin. Her main motive was to introduce the idea that eros for Corwin takes nothing away from their marriage.

> the many triads that start off as a lesbian couple
>and then add a guy,

All… two of them? I mean, there haven't been that many lesbian couples in UF to begin with. I can only think of three in SotS, and two have added a male, so I suppose you're justified in saying "most lesbian couples in SotS become ffm triads", but it's awfully thin data to be drawing conclusions from. (I deliberately discounted Liza Shustal and Azalynn; they were both clearly bi before they entered their relationship. Besides, for them, Kurt Wagner's sex is an afterthought at best: his blue fur and tail is what caught their interest.)

>that Anthy refers to Utena as her husband
>(reflecting a heteronormative expectation of butch/femme pairings in
>lesbian relationship)

Gryph treats this as a side-effect of Utena being The Prince. I would actually agree with you – this could be a sign of heteronormative thinking – if it were a part of a larger pattern. But the rest of the pattern doesn't exist where I can see it. No such dynamic exists between Liza and Azalynn, Kate and Juri, Amanda Dessler and Rina Dragonaar, or Juniper and Gunnr.

>Utena, as portrayed in Symphony, seems to be closer to a 0 on
>the Kinsey scale

So she says, and I concede that she's not your typical 3. I have very little knowledge of the source, but I can't recall anything from SotS to disprove the idea that she's mostly asexual. In Utena's case, philia is prerequisite to eros, and she doesn't seem to have much of anything in the "base lust" department. In either case (3 or x), her claims of being almost 0 could easily owe more to a heteronormative cultural background than her own feelings.