LAST EDITED ON Jul-12-14 AT 04:05 PM (EDT)
 
>I'll have more to say later

Right around now, as it turns out.

Chapter 4

Well, I see Zuko is still... Zuko. I suppose that's comforting in a way.

Also, though I remain unimpressed by the Legion of Doom and their Mysterious Subplot (I know the show is trying to spice up the tension by making it all WHAT DO THEY WANT??, but it's blunted somewhat for me by the fact that I couldn't give a damn what they want), I find it intrinsically satisfying that at least the mooks they're pummelling (yeah, lookin' at you, Tonraq) are getting some karmic payback for the way they treated Korra as a child. More on this in a bit.

Yay, another scene that's just Korra and Asami. Really, you don't have to be Into Them to enjoy that.

"I can't believe I helped her." 25 points to Asami for not asking, "Why not? That kind of thing always happens to you. I'd think you'd be used to it by now."

At least they're not talking about Mako, that's nice. Although he does immediately show up and ruin the moment.

In my mind, that hapless flunky will someday be the father of the 54th Earth Monarch. Just another one of his uncountable unpleasant duties. Lie back and think of the Earth Kingdom, old chap; brave heart. You are a true patriot and a hero of your country, and one day, when your offspring is on the throne, you will dwell in well-deserved recumbent splendor for the rest of your days.

"I've been reading some of Jinora's books." Oh, yeah, like you can read, Mako.

OK, hang on, hold the phone, Grade A record scratch moment. Korra discovers the (retroactive-smelling, frankly) reason she was imprisoned and denied any semblance of a normal childhood with the connivance of her own father, Tenzin says gravely,* "It was for your own safety," and... that's it! Under the rug it goes; Korra doesn't even react.

So let me get this straight. Four crazies tried to abduct the child Avatar (and despite all the hype about how terribly powerful and dangerous they are, they managed to lose that fight to Tenzin, Zuko, Sokka, and Tonraq, so how tough can they be, realistically?), and the response of her caretakers is to ruin her childhood and set her up for all the well-meaning-but-half-witted post-adolescent blundering around she spent the first twenty-four episodes of this series agonizing us with.

That was their best plan? That's like painting over a mural so no one can deface it. Must have been Zuko's idea, am I right? He was always the one with the really shitty ideas. I'm not surprised Tenzin and Tonraq went along with it - the former is Tenzin and the latter is a block of Samsonite - but what in the world made Sokka and Katara play along with that nonsense? Besides the fact that they had to because it's a retroactively imposed plotline, I mean.

And Korra - who was never the quiet one - has nothing to say about that revelation. At all. She just stands there and lets Lin move the conversation along. No protest, no acknowledgement that this isn't really the time to get into that but by all that's holy you and I are going to have some words about this later, Tenzin (which I would have accepted), not even an expression of mild exasperation. Nothing.

I guess, the time budget for this show is pretty tight, they must have had to save the screen time for something more important than Korra reacting to the discovery that she never got to be a child or go anywhere or have any friends or see anything because her father is an imbecile. Like Jinora flirting with the future criminal deadbeat embarrassment-to-the-entire-airbender-nation father of her children, despite the fact that she's ten eeewwwww.

Honestly, every time this show starts to win me over - and it really has with some of the other stuff that's been happening so far this season - it almost immediately turns around and sticks its finger in my other eye. If the Avatar's function really is to bring balance to the world (and what the hell does that even mean, anyway? It's a Deepak Chopra profound-but-empty phrase), it must be the scriptwriter's job to bring balance to my blood pressure.

While I'm ranting, did you clock Lin's brilliant plan? It's to take Korra back to Republic City. Not only is she the Chief of Police there, and as such should know this anyway, she was standing right next to President Fuckstick when he banished Korra from the city. (Or was it, in fact, from the entire United Republic?) Have all the Beifong women suffered serious head injuries in this show? First Toph turns up in a Book 1 flashback acting like a completely different person, and now her daughter apparently has serious medium-term memory problems.

*sigh* Anyway.

"These criminals are unlike anything you've ever faced before." Oh, so they're unlike my evil uncle who turned into a giant monster and raped my soul? Good, I wasn't looking forward to fighting another one of those. (Seriously, Lin. Take notes if you can't keep up.)

"I'm not leaving until we've committed a de jure act of war against the Earth Kingdom."

"OK. As the chief law enforcement officer of the United Republic, I'll help you out with that. In uniform, with my plainly marked Republic City Police zeppelin. What time should I be there?"

????

(Also, I find it very interesting that it is evidently not a condition of continued employment that officers of the Republic City Police Department actually go to work at any time, or indeed even try very hard to remain within the Republic. That's an extremely enlightened HR policy on the PD's part, but I hope for the city budget's sake they at least don't get paid when they skive off work for weeks at a time to go with their girlfriends to a festival in the South Pole, or trail morosely after their exes on some damnfool idealistic crusade, or try to bully the Avatar into returning to a city she's not legally allowed to be in anyway.)

Ha, the scene where they're all sneaking into the Dai Li fortress. Descending the stairs in identical poses in the foreground: Korra, Beard No. 1, Beard No. 2. Great visual. (How weird must it be for the brothers Aangsson to go on secret action team-ups with Korra? Pretty weird, I would guess.)

"There's another airbender who isn't here. His name is Kai."

"Oh, good, then we don't have to take him with us. C'mon, Tenzin, let's jet. We'll tell Jinora he went to live on a farm with lots of other airbenders and he's happy there."

Bumi's thing with the radio reminds me of the episode of the old Tick cartoon where the Tick and Arthur are secret agents, and the Tick keeps making burst-of-static noises with his mouth whenever he uses the radio. "Will you stop spitting into your radio!"

Ye gods, an irresolvable quandary. In a scenario where Mako is pissed off at Kai, whom do you root for? Maybe they'll annihilate each other. That would really be ideal. (I know Mako's making an effort this season, but it's too late for that in my book; after the shit he pulled last season, he doesn't even deserve to be on the show any more, the unforgivable grub.)

Ha, check out the high standard of Dai Li marksmanship. "These rock shards, too precise for sandbenders. Only Earth Kingdom stormtroopers are so precise."

Second guy from the right, Hapless Earth Kingdom Airbenders Listen to Tenzin's Speech crowd scene: I always knew Egon was more than just a parapsychologist.

Aw, no, not the George and Vulture. Why does everything awesome on this show get shuffled off-screen again within an episode or two? Well, at least they're taking Kai with them.

Chapter 5

"I'd rest a lot easier if you were back safe in Republic City." Yeah, because A) your boss would totes be down with that and B) Republic City has historically been such a safe place to be Korra.

... ! OK, that's it. Lin, you are on my list. I didn't like you before, but now I want you off the show. You and Mako can just fuck off to your own show for all I care. I'm sure if somebody greenlit TV shows about S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Gotham PD sans superheroes (and they did), Tales of the Republic City Police will be a roaring success. Don't let the door hit you in the surprisingly-perky-for-50 ass on the way out.

(I mean, seriously! Being mean to Naga? Fuck you, lady! Now that Unalaq's dead, you are officially the worst person in the world.)

So I'll jump ahead a little bit here and share a thought that started forming early in the episode, but didn't come completely together for me until the end. I realize that Zaofu is supposed to be coming across as Good Guy Stronghold #2 here (after the Air Temple), but I almost instantly found it... creepy. It took me until the end of the episode to really get a handle on why, but I eventually figured it out. It's a cliquish utopia - and like all cliquish utopias, it has an inescapable whiff of fanaticism about it. Even if it's well-meaning fanaticism (and in utopias it usually is, for some values of "well-meaning"), that's inherently disquieting. (Lie Detector Gandhi doesn't help. Creepy.)

Also, they have a uniform, and evidently worship the weirdly-out-of-character TLOK flashback version of Toph as a god. None of that bodes really well to me either. :)

EDIT: Hang on, I have it - Zaofu is Utah under Brigham Young. A utopian colony set up within an existing country by fanatical true believers who think they're a law unto themselves. Yeah, that won't be trouble down the road.

"That's Tron. He fights for the Users."

You'd think Korra would be more animated meeting someone who's actually excited to see her, given how many times she's been snubbed, run off, or told she's the worst Avatar ever (which, seriously, Kuruk - do these people not read history).

"And the woman apparently trying to abduct you is your Aunt Lin." Don't worry, though, it's how she shows affection. She's been trying to do the same thing to Korra for the last two episodes, and really, can't you feel the love whenever they're together? ... No, you can't, can you. Hmm. My thesis may be flawed.

"This is the safest city in the world." Neville Chamberlain, London, 1939.

"OK, let's see what you've got."

"I'm not very good."

"That's OK, I'm the worst airbender in the world. Just ask Meelo."

See what I mean about fanaticism? I'm telling you, Suyin seems nice now, but one of these days she's going to turn out to be just another mook who wants Korra to help her take over the world, and turns on her when she won't do it. Mark my words.

(Lin, why are you wearing your armor at dinner? I mean, seriously, I know there's something wrong with you, but even Tony Stark doesn't wear his armor to the dinner table.)

OK, having said that, and even though she's the worst person in the world, I have to say I'm with Lin in the next sequence, though. Varrick? Are you fucking kidding me? Now I know Suyin's trouble. My tables - meet it is I set it down. That one may smile, and smile, and be a villain.

Oh, Bolin. Do you so readily forsake all your hopes? I thought earthbenders were supposed to be patient and abiding.

Rollins is making valiant efforts to make Zaheer interesting here. I have to give him major props for that. I mean he's not succeeding, but look what he has to work with. Ugh, violent supervillains who spout peace-oriented philosophy. I feel like Lo Wang in the opening scene of the new Shadow Warrior. "Shit, I was hoping for a more clichéed setting, but I guess koi ponds and cherry blossoms will have to do."

You're already the worst person in the world, Lin, you don't have to go for the oak leaf cluster by being mean to your niece too.

OK! Well! Definitely a mixed bag, but there wasn't a point where I actually had to stop watching and either come back later or just go read a synopsis of the rest of the episode, as happened frequently in Book 1 and, on a grander scale, to the entirety of the second half of Book 2. And despite all my grumbling above, there are at least things worth grumbling about here. It's very promising, even with the occasional head-to-wall moments. (Seriously, the thing about the real reason for Stalag Avatar was so spuriously handled.)

--G.
* "But I repeat myself." - Mark Twain
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Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
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