"And now, the scores from the hockey team's clashes with those nice girls from Our Lady: played 8; wins, 6; losses, 1; draws, 1; goals scored, 39; goals conceded, 33; bludgeonings 306; lacerations, 284; and the first undisputed evisceration in a match in fifteen years. Congratulations to Ms. Pilford-Bagwell of the Fourth Form there. Games Mistress, what are your thoughts on the matter?"

"The horror... the horror..."

"Oh dear, the Games Mistress is having another flashback. Evans, the smelling salts, please?"

---
"She's old, she's lame, she's barren too, // "She's not worth feed or hay, // "But I'll give her this," - he blew smoke at me - // "She was something in her day." -- Garnet Rogers, Small Victory

FiMFiction.net: we might accept blatant porn involving the cast of My Little Pony but as God is my witness we have standards.