LAST EDITED ON Jan-26-06 AT 07:47 PM (EST)
 
Nice.

It's not the best word, but I'm trying not to gush too much....

That said, I really like how you've 'restarted' this. It still has that buddy-flick feel to it, but it's much more serious, and more entertaining. So it's all good.

Mainly, it feels more coherent. Which, I suppose, isn't that surprising, eh?

Hm, things I liked in the story, in no particular order (and definitely not all of them)....

-Meeting Priss for the first time was good. Though it felt sorta familiar (for obvious reasons), it was still new and refreshing

-Stark getting his ass handed to him at first with the boomer. MUCH more realistic than blowing the thing up with a rocket launcher.

-The meeting Nene in the BattleDrome was again, familiar, but new and refreshing. I don't know what it was, but I liked the MechWarrior sim better than the Wing Commander sim. Meh, personal taste, probably.

Still, it was nice to see that Nene got to keep her nick.

-The 'surveillance' bit was inspired. I have a feeling I'll be re-reading again and again for some time to come. What can I say, I'm an obssessive personailty....

-The phone conversation between Sylia and Stark was great. For some reason I got the image of the both of them trying to fish for innuendo, with long pauses for each.

-The dust-up at the restaurant was interesting, and fun to read.

-Zoner was fun. I've forgotten how fun he can be....

hrm....can't think of anything else....

~Strife Aileron
http://www.execulink.com/~stryker