"Well, of course we're using the AVRE with the Petard mortar. I have every faith in our ability to give the other tank teams while Araminta finishes priming the flying dustbins. Lucinda is a truly peerless driver, Constance is a superlative gunner and director of fire, and I am, if I may say so, a moderately gifted tactician. To use a conventional MBT would simply not be sporting. Any further questions - yes, Araminta?"

"Sally?"

"... Yes, Araminta?"

"Do you have to wear the moustache, Sally?"

"It makes me look distinguished."

"It's four feet wide, Sally! It makes you look like you're trying to shove a draught excluder up your nose! And it always falls off in the middle of a fight."

"Ah! Well, now, see, that's where you're wrong! I've not had it fall off in any of our training sessions so far this week! It's this new adhesive I've been using."

"... You can't get it off, can you."

"Well, I, I wouldn't necessarily go quite that far-"

"When did you put it on, Sally?"

"Er... a week last Thursday."

"The things one does for love. Lucinda, could you be a dear and get the crowbar, please?"

---
"She's old, she's lame, she's barren too, // "She's not worth feed or hay, // "But I'll give her this," - he blew smoke at me - // "She was something in her day." -- Garnet Rogers, Small Victory

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