>It takes me a few minutes to figure out the system of chain ladders,
>jury-rigged ramps, and plank bridges and actually reach the top of
>Short's Monster. On the way up, I notice that, in addition to
>the usual jungle-green paint and standard markings, Short's has a name
>(Aonghas MacCnagCnag), tartan-like striping on the upper legs,
>and a public service notice on the back ("HOW'S MY ANNIHILATING?
>1-800-CALL-WDF").

This whole section slays me, from the tartan leggings to the name to the PSA. I'm half-tempted to pull an old artbook out just to do a color version of the beast. I can just imagine people who've never met Short trying to pronounce his Monster's name...

"On-gas Mac-nag-nag?"

Short can then point out why it's bad to upset someone who commands a Monster.