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Forum URL: http://www.eyrie-productions.com/Forum/dcboard.cgi
Forum Name: Mini-Stories
Topic ID: 98
Message ID: 3
#3, RE: Split Infinitive mini: The Vulcan Heart (v2.0)
Posted by Gryphon on Mar-10-11 at 11:45 PM
In response to message #1
>Gryphon's actions in the
>first version just didn't ring true to character. In this version,
>they do, and the fact that he's properly in-character makes the
>development of other characters and events occur much more
>smoothly.

Actually, let's speak of it just this once, and then put it to rest.

I think where I went wrong with the first attempt was simply in letting Gryphon remain sunk too deep in the role he'd adopted as a Starfleet officer. Letting things go down as the Vulcan tradition called for them to do was the Starfleet thing to do - but it was not the Wedge Defense Force thing to do, because in the WDF, you're there to stand up for the individual, not the Cultural Diversity of the Universe. This is, perhaps, a less enlightened view of things than the Great Bird would have preferred, but it's the way we do business in the UF universe. Gryphon had to stop thinking Prague police and start thinking PlayStation, basically. ("The captain seems to think you're some sort of cowboy.") And furthermore, knowing him as well as she does, having heard as much of his history as she undoubtedly has, Saavik would be hanging onto the hope that he would do just that, because him reverting to what she believes to be his true type is her only hope. Once I realized that, the rest of it fell together.

There. That's all I wanted to say about that.

--G.
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Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Admin
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
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