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Forum URL: http://www.eyrie-productions.com/Forum/dcboard.cgi
Forum Name: Mini-Stories
Topic ID: 99
Message ID: 24
#24, RE: CR/NF: Holiday in the Sun
Posted by Bodhi on Apr-09-11 at 09:10 PM
In response to message #0
Okay, so I'm just a little late to this party, but I had such an intense response to this mini that I thought, "what the hell?"

First and foremost I like how the character of Tali and UF-Gryphon's interaction with her hasn't changed. Deepened, matured, yes. But he still is willing to drop anything and everything for her in a crisis and she knows that, and would doubtlessly return the same. She is damn self-reliant, almost dangerously, recklessly so when it's just her neck on the line. I like how that is expressly stated almost as a reason for her not to contact him when things went pear-shaped. And, it feels to me that that is his justification for being willing to come to her "rescue". More simply, it feels like not so much a reunion as a continuance of an ongoing interaction.

I'd kinda like to see a database entry on Peter Parker, OJK.

I admit is somewhat odd that given all of the humanoid women that associate themselves with Gryphon, he'd seek out the one that he is the least biologically compatible with. Any other considerations aside, and unless I completely missed some detail, they can't even hold hands without one of them being in an encounter suit. On the other hand, maybe he missed her.

It didn't offend Tali'Shukra that her son thought she was a soft-sided theoretician with little practical field experience. He wasn't to know that she'd spent the decade before his birth almost constantly on the move, having adventures that made most of his naval career seem like a cushy job at an insurance company. He'd never asked and she hadn't volunteered.

That made me laugh. What do you mean that your parents were people long before your came about? Kids, always tactfully ask your parents those penetrating questions, like "So, mom do you have any experience with personal weapons and combat?" or "Hey, isn't that friend of yours, Benjamin actually over 400 years old and a bona-fide samurai?" It might save on the embarrassment.

Anyway, great work as always. Nice to see that your talent for interlacing the various details of the source material is still deft.

- Bodhi

It was a wise man who once said that our enemies make us powerful, but our friends teach us humility. - Don't know where I borrowed this, but I'm not that eloquent and I like the message.