I'm particularly amused that the tutorial presents your character
>acquiring command in basically the same way UF-G did it in Split
>Infinitive, except unlike him, you actually just get to
>keep the Challenger after the battle because what the
>hell, there's a war on. It doesn't go down this way because of the
>way the gameplay works, but I like to imagine that when Lt. Charles E.
>"Cosmonaut" Buchanan came out of Admiral Quinn's office that day, he
>and his newly acquired first officer, Ensign Tallasa, gave each other
>identical You Gotta Fuggin' Be Kidding Me looks for a couple of
>seconds, then went up to Club 47 and ordered very, very strong
>beverages. After the day they'd had, they needed them. :)
>

Given the way online gamers typically act, 'we're desperate for any officers who can command and not blow themselves up, no matter how eccentric' seems like it may be the case in-universe. Good thing the other belligerents are also scraping the bottom of the barrel, no?

Also explains the names, though some of them probably only sound dirty in GalStandard West.

�They planned their campaigns just as you might make a splendid piece of harness. It looks very well; and answers very well; until it gets broken; and then you are done for. Now I made my campaigns of ropes. If anything went wrong, I tied a knot; and went on.�
-- Arthur Wellesley, First Duke of Wellington