In one of Mejiro McQueen's story segments, it's revealed that she enjoys sports chants. I assume the ones she's into are more along the lines of the "we're #1! let's go sports team" kind, but all I can picture now is her breaking with her image completely and roaring out some of the really obnoxious English football ones.

Come and have a go if you think you're hard enough!
You're gonna get your fucking head kicked in!
Come and have a go if you think you're hard enough!
You're going home in a fucking ambulance!

You're shit! You know it! And so does your mum!

You lose every week! You lose every week!
We're nothing fucking special, you lose every week!

Who ate all the pies? Who ate all the pies?
Oguri Cap! Oguri Cap ate all the fucking pies!

and so forth. :)

--G.
it has the same energy in my head as Fuu Hououji snapping and yelling at the baseball players in Jive
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Elvis shot his TV! XD

That was a hilarious bit.

------
Authors of our fates
Orchestrate our fall from grace
Poorest players on the stage
Our defiance drives us straight to the edge

The Duality of Granpa McQueen

L: Before the baseball game:
"Would be nice if the match could start soon..."

R: 5 minutes into the game:
"Tear those sons of bitches apart!"

E L   C Ó N D O R   P A S A

That is all.

--G.
I know the actual horse's name didn't spell it "Cóndor", but I can't help it, I took four years of Spanish in high school and the accent rule is one of the only things I remember, besides how to ask where the bathroom is
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LAST EDITED ON Jul-27-25 AT 03:00 AM (EDT)
 
>E L   C Ó N D O R   P A S A

Absolutely romped every other race in her career, except for coming in second to Silence Suzuka once and having an Existential Crisis about it (that felt scripted, enough to make me wonder how the rest of the storyline even happens if she wins that one)...

... came in second for the first timestream and all three available time loops in the Arima Kinen and immediately retired.

Maybe I should run it again now that I've three-starred her. At least she'll be wearing the cool outfit.

OTOH, Taiki Shuttle...

--G.
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> Absolutely romped every other race in her career, except for coming in second to Silence Suzuka once and having an Existential Crisis about it (that felt scripted, enough to make me wonder how the rest of the storyline even happens if she wins that one)...

There are certain races and certain careers where a specific NPC racer is REALLY hard to beat, usually the horse that historically won that race. Doubly so if you're playing the horse that was the favorite on that race and historically was upset.

>OTOH, Taiki Shuttle...

... sweep!

A near-flawless career that somehow was still only good enough for a B ranking.

--G.
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*cracks knuckles in Football*

The thing about football chants is that the best ones are often very personal, and thus don't translate well to other media unless you're willing to be equally insulting about your peers. Consider the following examples:-

---

- Andy Goram, a legendary Scottish goalkeeper, was outed to the press as having a mild form of schizophrenia in the late 90s. Rangers supporters at the time began the chant: "There's only two Andy Gorams! Two Andy Gorams! There's only two Andy Gorams!". He played for Rangers.

- Graham Rix was the assistant manager at Chelsea when in 1999 he was convicted of having sex with a 15-year-old girl. After serving six months of a twelve-month sentence and being welcomed back to the club, away fans promptly started chanting, to the tune of the famous Manic Street Preachers song, "If you tolerate Rix, then your children will be next".

- West Ham United defender Kurt Zouma was caught on camera kicking his pet cat, which saw him quite rightly sentenced to 180 hours of community service, banned from keeping animals, and lose pretty much all his sponsorship deals. Every time he got tackled, everyone would chant (to the tune of "La donna è mobile" from the Verdi opera Rigoletto) "That's how your cat feels."

---

Quite how this squares with doing a co-ordinated dance number for the winner of a race you lost eludes me, unless in addition to loving football chants, Meguri McQueen loves absolutely crushing sarcasm.

---
"She's old, she's lame, she's barren too, // "She's not worth feed or hay, // "But I'll give her this," - he blew smoke at me - // "She was something in her day." -- Garnet Rogers, Small Victory

FiMFiction.net: we might accept blatant porn involving the cast of My Little Pony but as God is my witness we have standards.

"You used to be Steve! You used to be Ste-eve! You're Meguri now! You used to be Steve!" -- football chant for any woman named with the last name McQueen

>Quite how this squares with doing a co-ordinated dance number for the
>winner of a race you lost eludes me, unless in addition to loving
>football chants, Meguri Mejiro McQueen loves absolutely crushing
>sarcasm.

The dance number thing is just part of the business. They're used to it. :)

(Nice Nature even lampshades it a little. She's convinced that she's a side character in the anime of life, and even refers to more prominent peers like McQueen as "protagonists".)

Getting back to football for just a moment, and apropos of nothing to do with horse girls, I only know one English football joke, which I'm pretty sure I heard Stephen Fry tell on some show or another, to wit:

Q. Name the three English football clubs with an obscene word in their names.

A. Arsenal; Scunthorpe; Manchester Fucking United

>"You used to be Steve! You used to be Ste-eve! You're Meguri
>now! You used to be Steve!" -- football chant for any woman named with
>the last name McQueen

There's a social event that comes up when you're training McQueen where you go with her to a movie theater, and she leaves it up to you which film to see. The two choices are thinly disguised parodies of The Towering Inferno and The Great Escape, both films starring Steve McQueen.

--G.
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So apparently the answer to King Halo's legend race was "BAKUSHIN! BAKUSHIN!"

Other games will give you armor or weapons as trophies for the vanquishing of a rival, this game gives you shoes.

*shakes head*

After a career with 4 random Mood down events, Slow Metabolism from the +30 energy event choice, and a Night Owl off a Low Energy Rest: Apparently sometimes even Symboli just didn't feel like getting out of bed those 3 years.

Three years of depression is such a literal mood.

>In one of Mejiro McQueen's story segments, it's revealed that she
>enjoys sports chants.

I imagine her singing along with Al Yankovic's "Sports Song."

Peter Eng
--
Insert humorous comment here.

MAYANO TOPPU GAAN is a bit... much, isn't she?

I mean, a lot of Umas are a bit much in their own ways, that's fair, but Maya is... she needs to slow down a little. Metaphorically speaking. She kind of reminds me of Utena's rant at Vigdis Brightblade about how she doesn't even really understand what she's after.

--G.
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>MAYANO TOPPU GAAN is a bit... much, isn't she?
>
>I mean, a lot of Umas are a bit much in their own ways, that's fair,
>but Maya is... she needs to slow down a little. Metaphorically
>speaking. She kind of reminds me of Utena's rant at Vigdis
>Brightblade about how she doesn't even really understand what she's
>after.
>

Yeeeeeeeeeeeep. Well, unfortunately, it's an anime (adjacent) fandom so they know how to make their money, and that means hitting every target demographic.

Merch!

Tokai Teio, Mejiro McQueen, Mihono Bourbon, Rice Shower 20cm plushies

Fat Oguri Cap and Despair Tamamo Cross 10cm plushies

I love that no matter where she places, Haru Urara does the :D face and waves to the crowd. Actually, I love a lot of things about Haru Urara, including the fact that the real horse's owner has described her daily routine as "eat, play, eat, sleep, eat." Life goals, Urara, life goals.

--G.
"She expects us to bring her carrots without being asked."
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>I love that no matter where she places, Haru Urara does the :D face
>and waves to the crowd. Actually, I love a lot of things about Haru
>Urara, including the fact that the real horse's owner has described
>her daily routine as "eat, play, eat, sleep, eat." Life goals, Urara,
>life goals.

That really fits with the way she's depicted in-game, which is that she's not trying to "be the best," but instead is just trying to gain recognition by doing the best she can. Three goals are just reaching a set number of fans, and the final is just appearing in the Arima Kinen. Not winning the race as many of those who have it as their last goal are required to do, so she completes it even if she places dead last with a big grin on her face.

For other girls, winning the race is the goal you spend their entire career working towards. For Haru, just appearing is the goal. The rest of the time, she's just living her best life.

>For other girls, winning the race is the goal you spend their
>entire career working towards. For Haru, just appearing is the goal.

Good thing, too, since she's a dirt sprint specialist and the Arima Kinen is a 2,500-meter race on turf. It's like showing up to a NASCAR event driving a mud pull truck. :)

That said, I'm sure some minmaxing genius or another has figured out a way to build her so she can succeed in her normal career and yet somehow also win the AK. That always happens eventually with stuff the devs intend to be impossible, and the JP version of the game has been out for what, eight years? Plenty of time. :)

--G.
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"Run run hungry."

LAST EDITED ON Jul-31-25 AT 10:50 AM (EDT)
 
More merch

1/7 Vivios
1/7 Durandal

>1/7 Durandal

I love that one of the replies to that tweet simply reads, "Escape will make her god."

--G.
FATVM IVSTVM STVLTORVM
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There is a real Japanese racehorse (not yet in the EN version of the game, I dunno about the original) named "Blast Onepiece", which, absent this context, I would absolutely have assumed to be one of the Names of Dave Ryder.

--G.
Oh hey, Kiryuin, Meek. Have you met my new trainee, Big McLargehuge?
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>There is a real Japanese racehorse (not yet in the EN version of the
>game, I dunno about the original) named "Blast Onepiece", which,
>absent this context, I would absolutely have assumed to be one of the
>Names of Dave Ryder.

"We put our faith in BLAST ONEPIECE!"

>Oh hey, Kiryuin, Meek. Have you met my new trainee, Big McLargehuge?

Crow: Slate Fistcrunch!
Mike: Buff Hardback!
Tom: Bob Johnson! Oh, wait...

>"Blast Onepiece", which,
>absent this context, I would absolutely have assumed to be one of the
>Names of Dave Ryder.
>

It's either that, or something Monkey D. Luffy does in the final movie.

Peter Eng
--
Said final movie has not been released yet, but is projected to come out some time this century. Probably.

TIL that the color of ribbon(s) tied to the tails of race horses are used to signal different things, and that the relevance to Umamusume is because the ribbons tied to Goldshi's boots are red like the ribbon that the RL Gold Ship frequently wore...which in ribbon speak means "Danger! I like to kick!"

LAST EDITED ON Aug-01-25 AT 02:35 AM (EDT)
 
>TIL that the color of ribbon(s) tied to the tails of race horses are
>used to signal different things, and that the relevance to Umamusume
>is because
>the ribbons tied to Goldshi's boots are red like the ribbon that the RL
>Gold Ship frequently wore...which in ribbon speak means "Danger! I
>like to kick!"

As a related note, the ear for each of the girls that has a decoration on signifies what gender the actual horse they're representing is IRL.

>As a related note, the ear for each of the girls that has a decoration
>on signifies what gender the actual horse they're representing is IRL.

The one notable exception is Fine Motion who has decorations on both ears, as the RL Fine Motion was pronounced a mare at birth but was later discovered post-retirement to actually be intersex and (sadly) sterile as a result.

>>As a related note, the ear for each of the girls that has a decoration
>>on signifies what gender the actual horse they're representing is IRL.
>
>The one notable exception is Fine Motion who has decorations on both
>ears, as the RL Fine Motion was pronounced a mare at birth but was
>later discovered post-retirement to actually be intersex and (sadly)
>sterile as a result.

Not sure exception is the right word here given that both ears would be 'appropriate' for being intersex.

>Not sure exception is the right word here given that both ears would
>be 'appropriate' for being intersex.

I meant in the sense that Fine is the only recruitable character with two decorations.

And that's only because Yayoi and Tazuna refuse to remove their hats.

>like the ribbon that the RL
>Gold Ship frequently wore...which in ribbon speak means "Danger! I
>like to kick!"

"One of her pranks on McQueen is also tying a pink ribbon to her tail."

(reads on)

"Pink: Mare in estrus."

... yikes, Golshi. Surely that's between McQueen and her trainer.

--G.
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AGNES TACHYON
Well. As Symboli Rudolf has, how shall we say, graduated, I nominate myself as the new president.

SAKURA BAKUSHIN O
Wait. BAKUSHIIIN is the fastest Umamusume! I should rule!

AIR GROOVE
Air Groove superior. Bakushin inferior.

SAKURA BAKUSHIN O
Who are you calling inferior?!

GOLD SHIP
No one would follow an uncharismatic bore like you.

TOKAI TEIO
Nobody calls Air Groove unchrazamatic!

* They FIGHT.

--G.
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So who shows up later and crushes Agnes Tachyon's crown?

>So who shows up later and crushes Agnes Tachyon's crown?

Presumably one of the other characters associated with the Symboli ranch/clan, but they're not in the international version of the game, so I don't know enough about them to guess which one. :)

--G.
"Here's a hint."
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Because the game is 5 years old at this point in Japanese life, there is a rich history of content out there already that in global many of us are now only discovering

Such as Danger Zone

>Because the game is 5 years old at this point in Japanese life, there
>is a rich history of content out there already that in global many of
>us are now only discovering
>
>Such as Danger Zone

The people involved in licensing promotional stuff for Maverick must have been so confused by this application.

--G.
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Do you suppose people in Japan think Uma Thurman's name is funny?

--G.
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*plays the Munsters theme*

>*plays the Munsters theme*

bury me 'til I confess

--G.
also, I was told elsewhere that the Japanese render the actress's name as "Yuma", so the joke wouldn't work. too bad. maybe there's one in there about the town in Arizona? ... nah.
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Finally go around to sitting through the story section of the game which focuses on McQueen and finding not a small amount of amusement in the interactions between her and Gold Ship, mostly because I know that IRL they were grandfather and grandson. So it's less like the ojou-sama dealing with the team cloudcoocoolander and more like a long-suffering grandmother dealing with her eccentric granddaughter.

>Finally go around to sitting through the story section of the game
>which focuses on McQueen and finding not a small amount of amusement
>in the interactions between her and Gold Ship, mostly because I know
>that IRL they were grandfather and grandson. So it's less like the
>ojou-sama dealing with the team cloudcoocoolander and more like a
>long-suffering grandmother dealing with her eccentric granddaughter.

Yeah, the Uma really attached to another Uma relationships are often like that, such as Symboli Rudolf and Tokai Teio (father and son).

New banner is here, with Smart Falcon, Year 1's best Dirt runner and still competitive after that.

I was uncharacteristically insanely lucky and got her early on, preserving my currency for later.

Idols are amazing. (Her career is super cute also)

Falco

--G.
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. o O { Tom Clancy's UMAMUSUME: Operation PRETTY DERBY }

--G.
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Probably wouldn't be the dumbest thing they've ever slapped his name on.

I promise I won't rant about the bowl of stupid that is his later books
"This is probably a stupid question, but . . ."

Event changed over to Victoria Mile, so I knocked off a couple Mile runs to hit the specific race objectives as a break from the Champion Meet grinding.

Quite pleased at how this one turned out, first time hardcapping Speed without badly sacrificing other needed stats.

Once Bakushin graduates and isn't class rep any more, what is she going to base her entire personality on?

--G.
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>Once Bakushin graduates and isn't class rep any more, what is she
>going to base her entire personality on?

She is one of the girls I could most believe would turn around and join Tracen as a trainer/teacher. The goofball teacher that the freshmen laugh at until she gets them out on the track and then runs circles around them.

LAST EDITED ON Aug-23-25 AT 03:27 AM (EDT)
 
>Once Bakushin graduates and isn't class rep any more, what is she
>going to base her entire personality on?
>
>--G.

:glances at Maruzensky: I don't think people graduate from Tracen per se...

>:glances at Maruzensky: I don't think people graduate from Tracen per
>se...

There's Little Hello whose scenario is far off in the future and she's confirmed as a graduate of Tracen. And don't forget Taz *flash*...sorry, what was I talking about?