Starting off with...

1/7 Mihono Bourbon
1/7 Obey Your Master

Goodness me, but Symboli Rudolf sure does like to talk.

--G.
she does not, however, like to join my crew. :(
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I turned off the sound in Umamusume and started playing a mix on YouTube.

Mostly, it worked, but hearing Heavy Fuel and watching the Umas run...well, I was laughing.

To be fair, there might be an Uma who would fit that characterization...but probably not.

Peter Eng
--
Insert humorous comment here.

>Mostly, it worked, but hearing Heavy Fuel and watching the Umas
>run...well, I was laughing.
>
>To be fair, there might be an Uma who would fit that
>characterization...but probably not.

Oguri Cap: The Rock 'n Roll Years

--G.
took six hamburgers, Scotch on ice, nicotine for breakfast just to put me right
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Cheval Grand, Verxina, Vivlos, Gentildonna Plushies

>Cheval Grand, Verxina, Vivlos, Gentildonna Plushies

I love that "Cheval Grand" is literally just French for "big horse". :)

--G.
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Mejiro Dober simultaneously craves recognition and hates to be perceived by others.

Relatable.

--G.
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Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

>Mejiro Dober simultaneously craves recognition and hates to be
>perceived by others.
>
>Relatable.

And as these things usually go, she's also a closet* mangaka.

*As opposed to a closeted mangaka, though given her aversion to male trainers...

For no good reason, I've started reading Gold Ship's lines in Harley Quinn's voice. I'm not sure if this means that Air Groove should be doing her best to emulate Batman.

Peter Eng
--
Insert humorous comment here.

>For no good reason, I've started reading Gold Ship's lines in Harley
>Quinn's voice. I'm not sure if this means that Air Groove should be
>doing her best to emulate Batman.

Does that make Symboli Rudolf Commissioner Gordon?

--G.
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Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

LAST EDITED ON Jan-01-26 AT 08:30 PM (EST)
 
I misclicked and unintentionally entered the Graded League of the Scorpio Cup. I am now re-learning that history shows again and again how nature points up the folly of men, as I send my haphazardly created A-rankers up against horses who were raised by people who take Spark farming as seriously as my father takes his tax returns.

--G.
twenty races, zero wins in Group B so far
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Spark farming is the entry level, funny enough. Real sweats make dedicated parents to inherit the specific white sparks for skill hints and free stats with high affinity, then keep doing that until they hit all those and an acceptable blue and pink spark.

And then for CMs, this one in particular is coming down to having a synergistic team comp that works together to support each other or has a particular strategy in mind. For example, a Runaway Suzuka with 2 more Front Runners who don't take the typical skills that expect them to be in the lead but instead take the Pace skills that aim at spots 2-4, so they all hit their accelerations in late race and zoom past the Suzuka(s).

>Spark farming is the entry level, funny enough. Real sweats make
>dedicated parents to inherit the specific white sparks for skill hints
>and free stats with high affinity, then keep doing that until they hit
>all those and an acceptable blue and pink spark.
>
>And then for CMs, this one in particular is coming down to having a
>synergistic team comp that works together to support each other or has
>a particular strategy in mind. For example, a Runaway Suzuka with 2
>more Front Runners who don't take the typical skills that expect them
>to be in the lead but instead take the Pace skills that aim at spots
>2-4, so they all hit their accelerations in late race and zoom past
>the Suzuka(s).

Yeah, see, I just play the damn game, I'm not out here trying to develop a missile guidance system.

-G.
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Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

>>Spark farming is the entry level, funny enough. Real sweats make
>>dedicated parents to inherit the specific white sparks for skill hints
>>and free stats with high affinity, then keep doing that until they hit
>>all those and an acceptable blue and pink spark.
>>
>>And then for CMs, this one in particular is coming down to having a
>>synergistic team comp that works together to support each other or has
>>a particular strategy in mind. For example, a Runaway Suzuka with 2
>>more Front Runners who don't take the typical skills that expect them
>>to be in the lead but instead take the Pace skills that aim at spots
>>2-4, so they all hit their accelerations in late race and zoom past
>>the Suzuka(s).
>
>Yeah, see, I just play the damn game, I'm not out here trying to
>develop a missile guidance system.
>
>-G.

The Daiwa Scarlet missile knows where it is at all times because it knows where it isn't...

>The Daiwa Scarlet missile knows where it is at all times because it
>knows where it isn't...

(Umamusume-themed version of the Turbo Encabulator sketch doesn't quite come together in head)

--G.
"Such an instrument is the Vodka Encabulator."
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Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

>
>Yeah, see, I just play the damn game, I'm not out here trying to
>develop a missile guidance system.
>
>-G.
>

Based on the YouTube commentary, it isn't just the tactics. They take apart the track and explain why Angling and Scheming is important for this race, or how Straight Descent will come in handy, et cetera.

I feel like a FNG private listening to a general explain how the battle hinges on taking this hill to dominate their access to Point Bravo, and I'm barely past "what happens if my gun jams?"

Peter Eng
--
Insert humorous comment here.

>I feel like a FNG private listening to a general explain how the
>battle hinges on taking this hill to dominate their access to Point
>Bravo, and I'm barely past "what happens if my gun jams?"

See also: the comments on the Turbo Encabulator video comparing the sensation of watching it to waking up halfway through an engineering lecture. :)

--G.
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Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

>>Yeah, see, I just play the damn game, I'm not out here trying to
>>develop a missile guidance system.
>>
>>-G.
>>
>
>Based on the YouTube commentary, it isn't just the tactics. They take
>apart the track and explain why Angling and Scheming is important for
>this race, or how Straight Descent will come in handy, et cetera.
>
>I feel like a FNG private listening to a general explain how the
>battle hinges on taking this hill to dominate their access to Point
>Bravo, and I'm barely past "what happens if my gun jams?"
>
>Peter Eng

Angling and Scheming works on every track. :)

Victoria por Plancha, Red Shift, Shooting for Victory, Straightaway Spurt, and Straight Descent are the common accels that are track dependent.

>>
>>I feel like a FNG private listening to a general explain how the
>>battle hinges on taking this hill to dominate their access to Point
>>Bravo, and I'm barely past "what happens if my gun jams?"
>>
>>Peter Eng
>
>Angling and Scheming works on every track. :)
>

I repeat my statement above. I was just making up an example, it wasn't meant to represent actual strategizing.

Although, it's possible that I picked Angling and Scheming because it keeps getting mentioned in every video about The Next Champions' Meet, What To Do, And Why.

Peter Eng
--
Insert humorous comment here.

>I misclicked and unintentionally entered the Graded League of the
>Scorpio Cup. I am now re-learning that history shows again and again
>how nature points up the folly of men, as I send my haphazardly
>created A-rankers up against horses who were raised by people who take
>Spark farming as seriously as my father takes his tax returns.

Same. For my hubris, I'm being reminded that I do not put nearly enough blood, sweat, tears, and other assorted bodily fluids into doing more than improving on where I was the day prior.

Graded League is a monument to man's arrogance.

I know what you're talking about - I've listened to YouTube explanations of How To Raise Your Umamusume and I am completely confused by them.

Forget it, I'll just try to build some 3x2 stat sparks and wonder what I did that resulted in A-rank Umas suddenly appearing.

Peter Eng
--
Insert humorous comment here.

I don't know what it is about in-game events that has this habit, but this is not the second event in a row where a "just farming" wound up yielding a high-level girl. The recent school festival event yielded a T.M. Opera O that towered above all the girls, and now the Fuji event gave me an A+ rank Bakushin.

Gotta be something in the water...

Scorpio Cup has been really puzzling. I had this hell room of 3 Suzukas, 3 Taikis, and 3 people who probably don't matter. And yet the result didn't make sense.

It took me 2 or 3 rewatches to puzzle out how it turned out that way when my Taiki didn't hit her unique or No Stopping Me and I am reasonably sure what happened is the other Taikis didn't hit their recoveries and gassed out on the last spurt.

Anyway, onto Graded A Finals, mission success.

>Anyway, onto Graded A Finals, mission success.

Umabless RNG, matchmaking was kind and gave me a room that got hardcountered by what I brought.

I have no idea why I think Rice Shower sounds like the VA for Sui from Campfire Cooking in Another Universe with My Absurd Skill. It's probably just my imagination.

However, it does leave me with the thought of Rice Shower carrying a water pistol and wanting to "pew-pew" somebody.

Peter Eng
--
My brain is a weird place.

Dammit, Maruzensky! It is WINTER. This is the time for Christmas Oguri Cap to show up, NOT YOU IN YOUR SWIMSUIT!

--G.
nice though the swimsuit is
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Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

One. Fan.

You couldn't have tried to be just a little bit more charming, Golshi?

Peter Eng
--
Insert humorous comment here.

*sigh* I want to pull for the Irish Princess, but Tama drops in less than two weeks and the Grey Monster ate all my carrots.

>*sigh* I want to pull for the Irish Princess, but Tama drops in less
>than two weeks and the Grey Monster ate all my carrots.

Tonight I decided, "OK, I'll do one more try on the Christmas banner and then get on with my life. I've lived this long without Oguri Cap, I can live a little longer."

At which point, naturally, I got two of her in the same 10-pull.

That RNG sure is R, huh.

--G.
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>Tonight I decided, "OK, I'll do one more try on the Christmas
>banner and then get on with my life. I've lived this long without
>Oguri Cap, I can live a little longer."
>
>At which point, naturally, I got two of her in the same
>10-pull.
>
>That RNG sure is R, huh.

Yeah, that was me earlier this evening. Anniversary event on Arknights means not one but two limited time operators to pull for. Last anniversary, I burned through all my reserves and had to mug Wallet-kun to get both. This year? Got both in a single 10-pull.

I think I just burned up all my luck for the rest of the year.

LAST EDITED ON Jan-17-26 AT 04:33 PM (EST)
 
>Tonight I decided, "OK, I'll do one more try on the Christmas
>banner and then get on with my life. I've lived this long without
>Oguri Cap, I can live a little longer."
>
>At which point, naturally, I got two of her in the same
>10-pull.
>
>That RNG sure is R, huh.
>
SubGenii call it "Give Up Training", and while it is said that "Bob" originally developed it as a seduction technique, I've often found that the Luck Plane tilts my way, and the Great Magnet sends me what I was struggling for, when I let go of the struggle and let things happen in their sweet time.

The 'Desire Sensor' as its called in japanese. As soon as you stop wanting something, you get lots of it.

>Tonight I decided, "OK, I'll do one more try on the Christmas
>banner and then get on with my life. I've lived this long without
>Oguri Cap, I can live a little longer."
>
>At which point, naturally, I got two of her in the same
>10-pull.
>
>That RNG sure is R, huh.

And we just went to the hot springs on her very first career. Didn't win the Unity Cup, but za'kest.

--G.
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I love Sakura Bakushin O for her purity of purpose. She has only one idea. There is but a single thought behind those cherry blossom eyes. She feels the need.

The need...

... for speed.

--G.
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"Another speeding ticket. I'd fight it in court, but I don't think they'll accept 'Gotta go fast' as a medical condition."

So I've been reading Creation of an Umamusume, a fanfic in which Agnes Tachyon gives her dysphoric trainer magic HRT, and the brief appearances of Agnes Digital have me convinced that she's the Kureiji Ollie of horsegirls. Is this accurate?

>So I've been reading
>Creation of an Umamusume, a
>fanfic in which Agnes Tachyon gives her dysphoric trainer magic HRT,
>and the brief appearances of Agnes Digital have me convinced that
>she's the Kureiji Ollie of horsegirls. Is this accurate?

Pretty much. The girl simps hard and her unique skill actually gives her a speed boost for being surrounded by other umas. Only real difference between Digi and Ollie is she's strictly a "look, don't touch" yuri fan and Ollie is very much a sex maniac.

>>the brief appearances of Agnes Digital have me convinced that
>>she's the Kureiji Ollie of horsegirls. Is this accurate?
>
>Pretty much. The girl simps hard and her unique skill actually
>gives her a speed boost for being surrounded by other umas. Only real
>difference between Digi and Ollie is she's strictly a "look, don't
>touch" yuri fan and Ollie is very much a sex maniac.

Sex-maniac status aside, I don't think Ollie is as... weird about it as Digital. There's something deeply unnerving about Digital's simping style that I just don't get from Ollie.

--G.
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>Sex-maniac status aside, I don't think Ollie is as... weird
>about it as Digital. There's something deeply unnerving about
>Digital's simping style that I just don't get from Ollie.

You know how Ollie will just randomly start talking about another Holomem to the point that you can practically hear the drool coming out the speakers? Yeah, that's Digi when she's acting normally, but that's also about as far as she'd go. She's not "uma-sexual" in the strict sense, she's just obsessed about all things uma. There's one in-career encounter where she says she commissioned a doujin from Dober of King, but it was strictly about her daily life and nothing else.

The punchline? It's implied by Digi herself that her trainer is also an otaku and that's why they get along so well. Which has been carried to its logical extreme...that she is Trainer's kami-oshi and that's why he agreed to work with her.

Creation of an Umamusume is peak and I treasure every chapter we get.

There's also Crimson Night, Moonlight White, a related idea which is also very good.

>Creation of an Umamusume is peak and I treasure every chapter we get.
>
>There's also Crimson Night, Moonlight White, a related idea which is also very good.

And for the visually-inclined in the audience there is Uma Musume Pretty Derby - The Story of a Trainer Who Has Ended Up Becoming an Uma Musume in a What-If Scenario

And yes, it's a very web novel title.

I haven't pulled her, but I'm watching the part of her story series you get for free. Boy howdy, Tokyo Tracen sure draws the weirdos, doesn't it? :)

--G.
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It happened again.

Did a last-ditch pull on Fine Motion's banner before it closes this afternoon...

... got the fancy version of Matikanefukukitaru whose rate-up was, like, weeks ago.

--G.
at least it wasn't Maruzensky again
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Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

>It happened again.
>
>Did a last-ditch pull on Fine Motion's banner before it closes this
>afternoon...
>
>... got the fancy version of Matikanefukukitaru whose rate-up was,
>like, weeks ago.

Oddly enough, I got her while trying to pull for Christmas Ogurin.

Sadly, I had to pass on the Irish Princess as Tama dropped yesterday and she quickly gobbled up by the few carrots I'd stockpiled. So she gets to join the list of "ones that got away."