>>First, it wasn't more than the first couple of Reimu's lines into the
>>piece when I told myself Gryphon is WAY WAY stronger than this girl.
>>Simply put, she's newly introduced and there's no narrative reason to
>>think she had anything like Flandre's advantages.
>
>There are a few clues, but a lot of that background is actually
>being held for later explication in order to cut down on the amount of
>ex tempore exposition required. We don't learn more about her
>beforehand because (with the exception of Shizuka, who at least knows
>who she is) the characters she's encountering don't know much about
>her either.

First and foremost, I wrote my last post when my blood sugar was somewhere in the 300's. I was...not entirely coherent, and I apologize.

As for the update, yeah. I can't remember if the original version mentioned her hereditary title, but that definitely feels a lot like Sakura from Sakura Taisen there--a reason for her to have more than the bog standard abilities.

>
>>Second, I know next to nothing about Touhou. I neither know nor care
>>what she's like in Touhou canon, because from what we'd read of her so
>>far in this piece she's a retired witch with a desk job.
>
>No, she's around the same age as Shizuka, who takes note of that fact
>in the bit where she's reflecting on Reimu's change of attitude.
>That's one of the clues I mentioned above. Even in a setting where
>military personnel are routinely teenagers, she's very young indeed to
>be a general officer. Even the other witch generals we know about
>(Minna, Adolphine Galland, Jenny Doolittle) are in their twenties.

Clearly I was flat wrong about her being a retired combat witch; I plead incoherence. Or possibly insanity. I will note that I suspect investigators are led by someone with exalted rank primarily to ensure the commands they're investigating can't hide anything behind red tape, so her being a bit younger might be slightly more explainable. I have a feeling that hereditary thing and her independence from the standard chain of command are both factors in why she holds that position.

>
>>she should by all rights be in a combat wing if she has fighting chops
>>left.
>
>The thing is that she's not really a witch, as such, but we'll get to
>that when the characters have a chance to catch their breath and do
>some conversatin'. At the moment they're a little busy. :)

I only realized this when I read that just now: She never manifested a familiar. It's not explicitly mentioned in the text but is obvious in hindsight.

>
>>Her attitude would be better utilized there than in an
>>investigative role, as well.
>
>Ironically enough, she would agree with you on that point. She's
>really not the investigative type, but when you're the
>Inspector-General of the Emperor's Witches, and the Emperor asks you
>to go and find out what is going on with a number of his witches, you
>grab your bugout bag and catch the next flight out.

Yep! I at least managed one point that wasn't entirely dumb. XD

>
>>Third, because of the first two points I fully expected any fight
>>scene to be an anticlimax.
>
>Well, hopefully you won't think so here in a little while, but if you
>do, sorry in advance. It's obvious from the responses to this one
>that neither version is going to please everyone. Maybe I should make
>it modular, like a Choose Your Own Adventure book. "If you want to
>see the duel scene, turn to page 79. If you want to skip directly to
>the drunken singing, turn to page 102." :)

I liked the fight, especially that, contrary to my expectations, appears to have brought some character development to both parties!

>
>>Lastly, and this is a separate note from the fight thing, I feel like
>>Reimu's companions need a little more screen time for me to understand
>>what's going on with them.
>
>Yes they do.

Both of them, plus Perrine, Neuroi-chan, and Yoshika, all benefited greatly (as did the narrative!) with the extra sceneage. I'm inspired by your ability to take constructive criticism and funnel that directly into creativity. Usually I need to stew a bit before I can internalize that kind of thing.

------
Authors of our fates
Orchestrate our fall from grace
Poorest players on the stage
Our defiance drives us straight to the edge