>For a moment, she wondered whether this were some kind of prank. The eldest of
>these three was the Britannian, and she looked no older than Amélie's own age of
>17—too young to be retired, unless she'd been invalided out because of injury,
>and there was no sign of that in her face or bearing. The other two looked a good
>two years younger than that. She knew Fusō was a nation that valued youth, but
>did even their forces have general officers so young?
>

Well, this is tantalizing. I see two likely options here, either they aren't as young as they appear, or there much more to their story that at this point I could only make wild guesses about. Option 2 seems more likely, and more fun.

>"I'll make this brief," she said, and suddenly the sky around her was filled
>with pulses of magic, spiraling outward in interlocking bands, in an intricate
>patterns that put Gryphon—undoubtedly the only person on the planet in this
>time who had the frame of reference for it—in mind of an elaborate screensaver.
>You don't see that every day, he thought, and then the first wave
>reached him and he was too busy to ruminate.
>

Well at least G has somewhat recent practice in dodging danmaku, and fighting adversaries who can fly when he can't. Maybe he'll thank Flandre for that when he sees her next, confusing her thoroughly.

>She was surprised to hear a low chuckle from off to her left. Turning, she saw
>the two blonde witches were also watching intently, but where Alice's
>expression was thoughtful but neutral, Marisa was smiling—almost smirking.
>"Don't know what to do when they don't go down right away, do ya?" she murmured
>in a low, amused-sounding voice. Sensing Shizuka's eyes on her, she glanced at
>her and winked one golden eye, seeming to take actual pleasure in her
>colleague's momentary discomfiture.
>"Whose side are you on?" Shizuka couldn't stop herself from wondering.
>"Nobody's. I'm just enjoying the show," Marisa replied with an easygoing grin.
>

Yeah, the more I see of her, the more I like Marisa.

>"Don't bother trying to get up," Reimu told him. "Whatever dark pact you draw
>your power from, that seal has cut you off. You're just a man now. This is
>over."
>

And if it had been the result of a dark pact, you'd be correct Reimu, but school is still in session.

It occurs to me that if Reimu were at all inclined to be open-minded, the utter failure of her seal would've clued her in that whatever was going on here was not what she assumed.

>Whatever it was, it wasn't dark power; she'd fought too many rogue
>yōkai, black witches, and would-be sorcerers not to recognize that when
>she felt it. But nor was it white magic, like the flash she'd felt when he
>threw what looked for all the world like a Fusō military shield at his feet. It
>was neutral, not aligned at all. It felt like... she had no frame of
>reference. Springtime? Sunshine? That warm sense of satisfaction that came from
>a good stretch and a nap on the porch on a sunny afternoon.
>It felt like being alive.
>

Hey, reality is beginning to penetrate her titanium skull. Percussive maintenance, it's not just for machines anymore.

>Hesitantly returning the bow, she replied, "... You're welcome?" in the voice
>of someone who is uncertain about... well, virtually everything, just at
>the moment.

"That's good. You've taken your first step into a larger world."

>"Now what?" Gryphon wondered.
>Reimu considered.
>"I don't know about you," she said at length, "but I need a drink."
>

That may be so, but you'll regret it in the morning Reimu.

This whole sequence was definitely satisfying, and does more eloquently explain how Reimu came around to a much less abrasive, much more curious attitude.

And the Touhou partisans should be satisfied that it wasn't a walk in the park victory for G, which seemed to be the impression some got from the 'and then they fought' version of things.

>"I ought to, by now," said Perrine. "There's no more perceptive friend than an
>old enemy."
>"Were we ever really enemies, though? I mean, I never thought of you as one."
>"Oh, make no mistake about it, Miyafuji, I detested you from the very
>first," Perrine replied lightly.
>Yoshika gave her a hurt look. "I never knew that. Or maybe I just didn't want
>to believe it."
>"Well, that was before you turned my world inside-out with the power of your
>love," the Gallian said with a wink, drawing a flaming blush to her Fusōnese
>colleague's face. "Frankly, I don't know how you put up with me long enough for
>it to take effect. Anyway, it was a long time ago, n'est-ce pas?
>

Resistance is futile. Miyafuji will befriend you.

Being a bit more than halfway through season 2 of Strike Witches (just finished the treasure hunting episode) this has a mountain of impact, particularly seeing Perrine actually admit to any of it. Good for her.

>"You blockhead."
>"What?" said Reimu distractedly.
>"I said, 'You blockhead,'" Marisa repeated helpfully. Reaching out, she donked
>Reimu gently on the head with a knuckle. "'I've studied this document
>thoroughly,' my ass. If you had, you wouldn't have picked a pointless fight."
>She shook her head, still smiling fondly. "Sometimes I think you just enjoy
>pointless fights."
>"You're the last person I want to hear that from," Reimu grumbled.
>"All of my fights have a point," Marisa objected. "Even if it's only to pound
>something into your block of a head," she added, giving the head in question
>another friendly rap.
>

Yup, my earlier comment on Marisa and her appeal stands and strengthens. This makes it seem like she, somehow (they didn't have that long with the Zauberschulbuch did they,) did study the document thoroughly, at least more so than Reimu, to know both that her friend was wrong, and that there was a pretty good chance the strange Liberion could actually get the better of her to boot.

>This time there was no further shape-shifting on the Neuroi's part, but as
>their palms met, a flurry of sensation flickered through Yoshika's mind. No
>words, nor even solid images, but impressions, concepts, ideas. Apology.
>Regret. Concern. Puzzlement. Reassurance. Even something that felt very like
>affection.
>

I'm now very curious what a telepath or empath would make of Neuroi-chan. Which also makes me wonder what the captain's magic specialty is (or if it has even been identified yet.) I also have some suspicion she'll be, at least temporarily, reassigned if anyone in brass learns that she can having meaningful conversations with their defector.

>Turning the paper back around, he surveyed the front page with a smile and
>said, "Sakuya let me know yesterday, and here it is in black and white for all
>the world to see. A full apology and all rights reaffirmed. Most satisfactory."
>

I wonder if anyone present will wonder how Sakuya managed to let him know, unless she actually made a phone call (would the mothballed base have working phone service?)

As an overall comment, I was satisfied on the whole with the original version, but this did improve on it and flesh out some items that definitely benefited from that. I'm not sure what compliment fits the situation, so <insert appropriate praise here>.

	-={(Astynax)}=- "This Space For Rent."