>The Meiling and Sakuya interactions are like a Greatest Hits version
>of Kanna and Sumire. Also, I am curious as to how Remilia took the
>revelation that Gryphon is an immortal time and dimension traveler.

Probably the thornier issue will be the fact that he's already married, technically, depending on where in his light cone you're standing. It's one of those verb tense problems like in The Restaurant at the End of the Universe, but it's still something that will need to be thought through, because the thing is that Remilia has somewhat peculiar notions of propriety.

What I mean is, she was willing to sleep (literally) with him from day 1, initially because she found it amusing and had absolute confidence in her ability to prevent anything from happening, and before long because she liked it and had absolute confidence that it wouldn't be necessary to prevent anything from happening. The bathing situation developed along similar lines on a slightly longer timetable. And all of that is fine with her, because it's safe and comfortable and Not Lonely. But at the same time, she won't go any farther than kissing until and unless they're actually married, because at the end of the night she's still a 16th-century maiden. :)

So the fact that he already has a wife, maybe, in another dimension and another century, but who is still in the present tense from his viewpoint if she's alive (this is happening before Warriors of the Outer Rim on his timeline, so he doesn't have confirmation of that at his own personal present), is going to require some consideration. Not necessarily the end of the conversation? But definitely a contingency that needs to be digested. I mean, if it's as complicated to us as that preposterous paragraph, imagine what it's like to be living it! Time travel! It's a bitch sometimes.

However, all that is very much a matter for the internal monologue, and as such probably doesn't need to be dealt with on screen. I tried to work parts of that conversation into the narrative in several spots and it just didn't work—bogged everything down and wasn't resolvable at the point where it came up anyway, so it didn't help anything.

This story had a bunch of things like that, in fact. I don't usually make that many large cuts or redirects while working, but the scraps file for TTW has a bunch of false starts and hang-on-where-the-hell-is-this-even-going scene fragments, not all of them relating to the above. It was a narrative that sometimes had a hard time working out what it was trying to do, at the same time that it was explosively insisting that it do something. Really quite an odd creative experience by my standards, although it was interesting, and I'm pleased with the end result.

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.