>>Also, while it works as a cold open, its really confusing as to how
>>this scene fits in with what follows.
>
>Hmm... yeah, I can see that. Making the omnibus edition did kind of
>break the flow in a few places, in much the same way that editing
>together episodes of a TV series into a "movie" doesn't always work.
>Maybe I should take that piece and move it into the jump that was left
>for it in the original version and see how that works.

So, I had a go at that, rearranging that bit of the omnibus so that the scenes go in order instead of having a misplaced IMR-flash-forward cold open in the middle of everything. I had to write a couple of transition paragraphs to make it flow properly, but I think it works reasonably well. See what y'all think.

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
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