>All Holiday in the Sun really needs, in my opinion, is altering
>Gryphon's motivation. Strange things are afoot at the
>Circle-K on Cybertron, and from my view, it's possible that
>Gryph thinks it's time to get the band together, starting with the
>ones that will be hardest to find.

Yeah, that's true. It's only the coda scene that has to go, but that does in itself constitute a pretty significant edit.

Funnily enough, though, one of the jokes from the original discussion thread still works just fine! Remilia would be no more interested than Marceline in visiting a planet where the solar activity is so insane it crashes deflector shields. (She's even a daywalker, for normal values of "day", but seriously, screw that. :)

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.