>I'm tempted to make that version her wedding dress, just to poke fun
>at the traditions. "Vampire women always wear black at their
>weddings. It symbolizes the purity and all-embracing protection of
>the night."
>

I know this isn't a democracy, but chalk up my vote in favor of this idea anyway. A vampire with a sense of humor about their nature is a terrible thing to waste. Too many vampire stories lean -hard- into edgelord and/or emo territory for no sane reason.
"Wait, so we've gotta avoid the sun and some foods and/or holy symbols, and maybe a weapon type or 3, and find blood to consume every so often, but in exchange we're ageless, immortal beyond extreme or specific misadventure, and get super powers? And you guys are all -depressed- about this?"

>With that kind of lead time, I almost think they only make one when
>someone orders it.
>

That would be kind of impressive actually. At this point, it seems my impatience is the only thing saving me from a potentially poor decision (there's irony, or something like it, there.)

>Oh yeah, she's also Chinese, so, well, we know how they and the
>Japanese get along. In some of the meaner ones, none of the other
>characters can even remember Meiling's name. They just call her
>"China".
>

That does provide context, or at least some other reason for the otherwise seemingly random level of malice described.

>(And don't even get me started on the one doujin I stumbled across
>with Psycho Flan brutally dismembering repeated iterations of
>Patchouli's devil-girl familiar, Koakuma. God damn it, you assholes,
>I blacklisted guro for a fucking reason, tag your shit.)
>

I don't always mind the ol' ultraviolence (I think The Boys is an excellent show for example) but as with pretty much all things, surprising people with somewhat extreme events in entertainment is generally not cool. Though a very tiny part of me sees a dark humor in part of the Internet still remaining the lawless wilds most of it was once upon a time.

>One of them is a witch with no sense of proportion, and the other is a
>mercenary shrine maiden.* Neither one really goes in for moderation.

Together, they fight crime?

>* As in, she's so poor and her shrine is so
>ill-traveled that she'll take basically any job in exchange for
>donations. In some doujins, any. Job. Yeah. Sigh.

I'm not sure if that's a trope, or some random things I've stumbled across were Touhou related without my knowledge (both seem equally likely at this point,) because I've seen that concept (including the 'any job' qualifier, doujin and hentai could often be confused as synonyms by someone unfamiliar with the actual definitions) a few times while making the rounds.

	-={(Astynax)}=- "Remember: The Internet is for porn."