>Now, leaving apart for a moment the absurdity of trusting your life
>and/or the lives of others to a consumer-grade biometric sensor (which
>anyone who has ever unlocked a smartphone of the last two or three
>generations should find risible enough in its own right),
>

Most of those end up being openable by a distressingly wide variety of things like "chewing gum on the sensor"

>Even funnier, they also sell an Internet of Shit™ version of it,

Oh no.

Your hypothetical is all too benign. Waaaay too benign.