LAST EDITED ON Dec-01-07 AT 02:22 AM (EST)
 

I'll have no qualms if the folks in charge want to move this into it's own thread.  It is pretty long, the
commentary pretty snarky, and this thread is getting a tad ridiculous anyways.

And now, for your entertainment, Benjamin Rhodes Deconstructs a few NXE reveiws...

Andrew Huang's Review
   I find NXE to be a balance between great writing quality and one
   terribly irritating character.

Oh?

   Allow me to elaborate. Eyrie Productions has been long known for
   producing, as they say on their webpage, "quality anime fanfiction"
   (or words to that effect). Ben Hutchins knows how to write well, and
   he doesn't lose it for NXE. Well, almost. There's one big flaw: DJ
   Croft. Too cool beyond words.

You say that as if it's a bad thing! I'd bet dollars to donuts that if someone like Jos Whedon came up with DJ Croft and put him in his own series he'd have all you guys eating out of his hands by the first commercial break!

   I think Zhou took care of all the DJ
   bashing, so I'll not add to it, since I agree with most everything he
   said. There are then also other, less severe (but still annoying)
   character flaws, in his handling of Asuka, Kaji, and Ritsuko.

Oh really? Do tell.

   As this
   is a transplant of EVA, I can accept there being different characters
   (or lack of characters, such as the school friends of Shinji from the
   original), but if they have the same name and background, I'm assuming
   that they're the same characters. The three that I named are made out
   to be a lot more irritating/mean-tempered/downright evil than they
   really should be considered. Asuka, in particular, seems to be
   spouting off even more tha usual.

He didn't really pay much attention, did he? Most of the extra spouting on Asuka's part was aimed at DJ.

   I do hope that Gryphon does give her
   a break, considering her past. Oh, and last thing I didn't like,
   characterwise: he left out Shinji! I like Shinji.

Oh, knock it off. This is why I HATE it when someone does a review before the end-game buzzer sounds off.

   The upside: again, the writing quality. It's clear and concise;
   feelings and events are conveyed excellently. The other new character,
   Jon Ellison, is a much more tolerable addition to the field. He has
   his weaknesses and is endearingly vulnerable.

Oh, that's rich. Give them a hardluck case and suddenly it's all win and love. Give them someone who is uber-cool, but still within the realms of what is reasonable and they all go "GARY STUE!!!" BTW: I think John Ellison is just as awesome as DJ.

   And--I may be a soppy
   fool, but I rather like the budding romance between Rei and Jon. In
   all of the original EVA, I found the lack of real romance beyond
   Hikari and Touji to be rather depressing.

Big loss there! Hikari and Toji's romance was doomed from the start because after Toji nearly buys it in the anime we never even see him again!

   I hear that DJ's problems, whatever they may be, will finally get to
   him soon. I really do hope so--I'd like to see him get his share.
   Anyway, I'm still following this series, even though (for the time
   being) the bad still outweighs the good, for me.

Is it just me, or did this guy get bullied around a lot in school?

Rod M.'s Review
   Oh, where to begin, where to begin?
   The lads down at Eyrie Productions are good. Let's make no mistake
   about that. They're very good. The stories they put out always has a
   professional polish that puts their talent up amongst the best.
   Neon Exodus Evangelion is no exception. The pacing, the plot, the
   polish, it's all there. The one thing you can't call an Eyrie work of
   fiction is stale, and this is no exception.

Glad you think so.

   They have one flaw.
   In every story Eyrie writes, they must have a new character. Said new
   character must be 1) central to the story and 2) just one hip
   happening dude.

What!? And you call yourself a fanboy!? Don't make me tie you down to a chair and force you to watch Sailor Stars for two weeks straight! Dear God, the sheer pretentiousness...

   D.J. Croft is, for this story, that flaw. He's a crack shooter with
   gymnastic and martial arts capabilities. He woos the women
   oh-so-easily, down from Rei up to Misato and all the women in between.
   He's one hell of a motorcycle ride. He can out-booze Misato too. Even
   the NAME is too cool. 'D.J.' Riiiight.

So, I've known a few people like that myself.

   Did I mention that D.J. is only 14 years old?

Big deal. Same people got started pretty damn early too.

   If they replaced the character of Kaji with D.J., I'd be more apt to
   accept it. Hey, there's a precedent for _grown men_ with all of D.J.'s
   capabilities. He's called James Bond.

Uhm... James Bond does not do ancient ruins, dude. And don't. James Bond is cool as shit, but DJ Croft he is not.

   There's minor nitpicks as well. The writer clearly doesn't like Asuka
   or Gendou, and writes them in a particularly harsh manner above and
   beyond the original bitch/bastardness that they originally had.

You might be surprised if you had waited a while longer to do this reveiw.

   But you know what? If you ignore D.J. (quite a feat, considering the
   role he plays), there's actually a fairly entertaining read here.

No shit, sherlock. Glad you can tell with as much as you like to hyperfocus on DJ. Would you like me to adjust that stick you got in your ass?

   Lots of mysteries abound, really. What happened to Shinji? What link
   does Jon and Rei have? Since the original EVA 01 in the anime was
   build especially for Shinji (what, with it housing a certain someone's
   soul in it and such), how effective can EVA 01 be with a non-Shinji?
   Is the human completion project still underway? With Shinji gone, is
   Karou gonna bring out the bisexual tendencies of D.J.? Or is Jon this
   world's equivalent to Karou? Lots of questions that I'd like to see
   the answer to, really.

Ugh. Just wait for it, you stupid spud.

   Thumbs up? Not quite. Thumbs down? Not quite, either.
   I did say these guys do good plot and polish, didn't I? If you enjoy
   self-insertion stories or stories with amazing new characters, this
   one'll be incredibly enjoyable to you. If you detest them, then this
   might not do. If you make the effort to either learn to appreciate
   D.J. Croft or ignore him, you'll find that this story actually is
   entertaining so far. If you can't take it anymore after reading the
   first part of act 1, might as well stop. If you're still reading, then
   keep on reading.

And if you stopped reading... Well, your loss.

Tom Rothamel's Review
   Can you consider a fic an Evangelion fic if the authors have decided
   to simply write out Shinji?

Yes, I can. It's called fanfiction.

   This question is perhaps symbolic of the biggest issue I have with the
   fic, that the authors have no problem completely rewriting the
   Evangelion universe, simply because it suits their tastes/egos.

My, you must be a really boring person to be so intolerant of change.

   Now, that's certainly their perogative. But, there's nothing saying I
   have to like it. It's just dissapointing to see what will probably
   stand for quite a while as the longest Evangelion fanfic missing many
   of the things that make Eva a great show. (Aparrently so that original
   or semi-original characters can have the run of the place.)

Waituhminute... Evangelion was a great show? Well, it had potential up until it went into the twilight zone and didn't come back.

   On the more or less neutral side, NXE makes use of quite a bit of
   "geek cultural references", to science fiction, games, etc. While in
   some places these serve a purpose, in other places it only distracts
   from the plot.

Oh knock it off. EPU is all about the Gweep. It is something that someone like you will never comprehend.

   That being said, I don't consider NXE to be a truly bad fic. The
   writing has quality. The type of people that liked "Undocumented
   Features" will probably also like this. (That last sentince is
   probably the crux of this review.) If you're looking for a casual
   read, this may be for you, despite the feeling that it contains inside
   jokes that you're just not a party to.

WTF!? Since when is fanfiction NOT casual reading!? Dude! Reach behind yourself and remove the stick!

   However, if you're looking for a story that's about Evangelion, this
   isn't it.
   (Pure Nitpick: The series has the Second Impact taking place September
   13, 2000, while NXE has it as April 1, 2000.)

Got a problem with it being on April Fools Day?

Zhou Tai An's Review
   Evangelion without Evangelion. My first impression. Any story that has
   NERV set in Worchester, Maine, has no angst (as of yet) and features
   Rei on a motorcycle is not really, truly, EVA.

I won't even say anything. He just said it all right there.

   That is but a minor consideration, however. As we progress further
   through the fic, a dark specter begins to loom over out heads,
   obscuring our view, blotting the characters from vision. Too late we
   discover that it is one of the most horrible, foul and altogether
   boring figures to enter a fanfic - the Overpowerful Character, in this
   case, one DJ Croft, otherwise known as perfectness incarnate.

HE HAS LASERS SHOOTING OUT OF HIS EYES!!! THE HORROR! MY EYES ARE BURNING! THE GOGGLES! THEY DO NOTHING!

   Watch out, readers. Gryphon really should have read Taleswapper's
   essay on introducing new characters into fics.

Just who or what the hell is Taleswapper? I never heard of it and I've been around in the fan'friction' community.

   DJ is everything one of
   them should not be. He absolutely steals the show, and runs rampant
   over the whole story, astounding NERV staff (and reviewers) with his
   incredible exploits, which include such events as getting into jungle
   ruins at the tender age of 6, blackmailing Maya Ibuki into designing
   custom weapons, beating almost every Angel singlehandedly (or at least
   with very little trouble) and mouthing off to Ritsuko and Gendou
   without the slightest repercussions.

And I would have done the same damn thing in his place... except for the whole getting into ruins at the age of six. I was too busy kicking over fire-ant hills in San Antonio then.

   Oh yes, did I mention that his
   mother's Laura Croft (of Tomb Raider fame), he can handle a gun and
   drink alcohol, and that he's also got a really cool computer than
   seems like a miniature MAGI system? He reads a lot too. Oh, we may as
   well take the chance and ask him all the Evangelion questions we've
   wanted to know the answers to. Guy probably knows the meaning of life
   as well.

I know what the meaning of life is. But I won't tell you, because you are stupid. ^_^

   Once the dark shadow of DJ has passed, however, we turn our attention
   to other matters. Namely, the fact that NXE is, despite Mr Croft, a
   nicely written and plotted fic. It has good prose that moves the fic
   along at a steady pace, neither too slow or long, ably accommodating
   both humour and drama. The plot, all for taking place in
   Neo-Worchester, adding 2 new characters (the second being far less
   annoying than Know-it-all. In fact, Jon Ellison is quite a welcome
   addition to the fic) and being a derivation of the original, is still
   entertaining, with good construction and a fair amount of suspense.
   All in all, a readable, enjoyable piece of work (even with that Croft
   boy and no Shinji. Yes, no Shinji. You heard me right.) Like Andrew, I
   like Shinji, and I think the fic suffers from his exclusion.

Uhm. No, it doesn't.

   Perhaps,
   Gryphon, unhappy with the main character because he couldn't decide
   when to be competent (as the author said in a mail to me), has instead
   created a character who's ALWAYS competent.

Wow. I think that he just dissed every member of the armed forces in that one comment, since the Evangelion program is a military one at it's heart, and in a military operation you want people who are always confident.

   Oh, and one more note. Gryphon seems to have an axe to grind with some
   of the original cast; he is positively mean to Asuka, Ryouji, Ritsuko,
   and, to a lesser extent, Gendou, making them out to be far more
   unpleasant and pushy than they are in NGE. Especially Asuka.

I wonder why these people are blind to the fact that DJ severely grated on Asuka's nerves... Not to mention Ritsuko and Gendo for that matter.

   Check it out. If you can stomach DJ and the changed cast, it's worth a
   read. If not, chances are you'll (like me) give up halfway through. It
   remains to be seen whether this changes in the next few "seasons."
   Remember : DJ Croft must DIE! ^_^

Dude... Wrong. Bad karma points for you. But then again, that never stopped me from imagining placing a round from an M14 into the heads of people like this. ;)

Black Aeronaut Technologies Creative aerospace solutions for the discerning spacer "To the commissary we should go," Yoda declared firmly. "News of this kind a danish requires."

"Okay now, watch the sniper!"
"What sniper?"
*SPLAT!*
"That sniper." ^_^