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Forum Name: Mini-Stories
Topic ID: 109
#0, Getaway Cutaway: A Future Imperfect Mini-Story
Posted by Mephron on Oct-09-11 at 09:43 PM
1:45 PM Nekomi Prefecture Standard Time
Sunday, May 1, 2411
142 Sakura Avenue
Nekomikoka, Tomodachi

Geoff Depew was polishing his new car's fender when the Chief walked in and regarded the car.

"Geoff," Gryphon said, "I know I don't pay you enough to buy something like that, even something like tenth-hand." He gestured at the sleek car.

"It's not an original," Geoff protested mildly. "They sell them as kits now."

Gryphon walked around it, a look of admiration on his face. It was a low-slung car, mostly black with silver fenders, what looked like an air intake in the front, and a massive (for the size) fusion turbine visible through the rear window.

"A kit car version of a Bugatti Veyron Super Sport? I'm surprised. I'd figure it would be too easy to screw up."

At that, Geoff opened the hood and removed a book, which he tossed to Gryphon. "You have to sign that before they'll deliver it to you." The book - well, tome, really, Gryphon thought - was made of disclaimers, waivers and renouncements of rights to sue if you ended up injured, maimed, heavily borged, or dead as the result of screwing up anything with the kit. He laughed, tossing it back, and Geoff replaced it in the cargo bin (which, Gryphon noted, held an emergency kit for the car, an IPO emergency kit, a three-pack of Gatorade boxes and a box of chewy granola bars).

As Gryphon admired it, he suddenly paused. Geoff raised an eyebrow, then opened the driver's door and started to get in.

"Geoff!" Gryphon said, "Bank robbery over at the Ultrabank branch on Third and Fukunaga! They have hostages."

"Get in, I'll drive!" Even as he said this he was getting into the driver's seat, hitting the button to latch the autoharness.

Gryphon slid into the passenger seat, the door closing as the car left the garage with a tremendous roar.

"Just for amusement's sake, other than you got there first and it's your car, why shouldn't I drive?" The Chief asked as the car rounded a corner, deploying emergency-services lights and siren at 80 MPH.

"You're not on the security system's approved list, and I feel that it's bad form to call Luornu and tell her you won't be back until after dinner due to the stunner effect."

Gryphon nodded, sagely. "Good answer." Then he said, smiling a bit, "I could break the security system pretty easily. I've been around the block a few times."

Geoff nodded back, concentrating on the road. "Time we don't really have."

Gryphon chuckled, then frowned. "Dammit! They got away, and they have a hostage. They're on the Tomodachi Freeway now, heading east."

/* Blood Red Shoes
"It's Getting Boring By The Sea"
Blood Red Shoes (2008)*/

Geoff power-slid around, leaving a cloud of smoke, making it onto the eastbound lane (which they were about to pass when he did that) with mere centimeters to spare, and put the hammer down. The getaway car was two klicks ahead and just as much of a supercharged roadster as the kit Veyron. As they got closer, it was actually a blocky minivan, engine screaming and windows black as sin.

"The car's got EMP shielding and polarized windows," Gryphon reported from his Lens. "Too dangerous for a sniper to take them out since we can't see into it. Any ideas?"

"Yes. You're going to use your superhuman perceptions and your sword to cut the roof off."

Gryphon laughed out loud. "That's crazy! Brilliant! Can you drive it?"

Geoff gave a big grin. "Top honors in getaway driving classes!" And with that, he put his left foot on the brake, leaving the right on the gas, and reached down to press his thumb against a scanner on the right side of his seat. The console beeped, then tweedled, and the car seemed to lower just a little. On the digital display that usually showed the satnav, the radio information, and other secondary information, instead four words appeared:

Top Speed Mode Engaged.

Gryphon drew his katana, closed his eyes, and focused himself with a pair of deep breaths. The window rolled down.

Geoff's hands tightened on the wheel, and then suddenly he brought the Veyron up close to one side of the tricked-out van. Gryphon used his skills (and the strength of his body and mind) to carve just under the top roof of the van, a horrific screech of forged metal on modern plastics and alloys, the modern losing the match.

Then came the hard part, as Geoff slid the car sideways in front of the van, keeping it going just fast enough to slide around and leaving enough room for Gryphon to reach and cut across the front windscreen, severing the A-pillars in the process. Once that was done, the other side was easy enough, and pure aerodynamics alone took the roof clean off. Geoff spun the car again to bring it going eastbound, and then took after it as Gryphon pulled himself back into the car while disengaging Top Speed Mode.

"PA mike on the right side of the glovebox," the former assassin said cheerfully, bringing the car up next to the decapitated van. It was slowing down, the rear window gone with the roof, and there was an small struggle going on. In fact, it was resolved as one of the bank robbers went flying backwards and out of the van. Geoff deftly avoided running him over, and as they caught up, Gryphon chuckled.

"Oh wow," the First Lensman said, shaking his head. "If I'd only known."

"...known what?"

The van slowed to a stop, and the two thieves scrambled out to lie on the ground. Geoff pulled up, drawing one of his pistols, and got a look from the Chief.

"Force of habit," he said, shrugging.

"Well, you won't need it. I think they're intimidated enough."

The two men - come to think of it, the third lying unconscious and probably badly injured a half-mile back - were dressed in black jumpsuits emblazoned on the back with some kind of bug symbol. As Geoff and Gryphon approached, the auburn-haired young woman the men in black had kidnapped stepped out of what remained of the van, removing the oversized goggles she had over her eyes. Emblazoned across the front of her black t-shirt was the stylized white icon of a spider.

"I had it under control, Chief," she cheerfully groused.

"Yeah, but I didn't know that until AFTER cutting the roof off. You might've let me know... "

"I didn't know you were on Tomodachi until then. Geez." She shook her head then looked at Geoff. "Nice driving. Anya Corazon, and you are?"

"Geoff Depew."

"Oh, cool. Nice to meet you. Anyway, these Wasp jackasses thought they'd get me in the bank, make it look like something simple. Hate these guys." She sighed. "Bunch'a posers."

"Okay then," Geoff said, as members of the police arrived. "If you'll excuse me, I think I need to go take my car for repairs." He sighed dramatically. "To paraphase a great man, my tires are slicks now."

"Ah," Gryphon said, "we'll ship it to HQ, get the SA1 treatment put on it. And replace the tires."

"That's good," Geoff said, then chuckled. "It is a very nice car, isn't it?"

Anya burst suddenly into a fit of giggles, leaning against the ruined van to hold herself up. As the two men watched, she recovered her composure long enough to squeak out,

"Drove circles around this thing!"

Geoff facepalmed, Gryphon shook his head, and the three of them headed off for a late lunch.

"Getaway Cutaway," a Future Imperfect mini-story by Geoff Depew
special to the Eyrie Productions Discussion Forum
© 2011 Eyrie Productions, Unlimited

"So anyway," Gryphon said to Anya as he dredged a mozzarella stick through some marinara, "what's got you on Tomodachi?"

Anya finished chowing down on some garlic bread and took a drink. "OK, funny story. I got an email two days ago telling me that I won a contest with a shopping spree here on Tomodachi. Didn't cover food, I was hungry, went to the nearest bank branch, ATM inside, bam the Wasps hit me under cover of robbery. Figured I'd see where we were going before calling for help."

Geoff's eyes briefly bugged out as he munched on some calimari. "Dat's-a spicy!" he said, then took a drink himself. "Sorry we interrupted you."

"Eh, no big deal," she said with a dismissive handwave, "it happens. Besides, this way lunch is on the company."

Gryphon rolled his eyes and released a put-upon sign as the pasta was delivered. "A person would think I didn't pay my agents the way you people are always angling for free food."
--
Geoff Depew - Darth Mephron
Haberdasher to Androids, Dark Lord of Sith Tech Support.
"And Remember! Google is your Friend!!"


#1, RE: Getaway Cutaway: A Future Imperfect Mini-Story
Posted by nitehawk on Oct-10-11 at 10:47 AM
In response to message #0
Plop Plop Fizz Fizz oh what a relief it is... :)

Thats' a spicy meata ball!

(oven door falls off)

/grin.


#2, RE: Getaway Cutaway: A Future Imperfect Mini-Story
Posted by Mephron on Oct-10-11 at 08:54 PM
In response to message #1
I'm from New Jersey originally. There are places there that use a spicy batter on the fried calimari, and then a spicy dipping sauce (along side a normal marinara, but it's hard to tell the difference...)

--
Geoff Depew - Darth Mephron
Haberdasher to Androids, Dark Lord of Sith Tech Support.
"And Remember! Google is your Friend!!"


#3, RE: Getaway Cutaway: A Future Imperfect Mini-Story
Posted by zojojojo on Oct-11-11 at 11:03 AM
In response to message #0
very nice... had to look up anya, but i'm happy to see the veyron made it to the 25th century :)

admit it... you just wanted and excuse to a) feature the car and b) use that lame joke :)

-Z


---
Remember kids: guns make you stupid, duct tape makes you smart.


#4, RE: Getaway Cutaway: A Future Imperfect Mini-Story
Posted by ebony14 on Oct-11-11 at 12:16 PM
In response to message #3
I, on the other hand, read Aran~a until Marvel canceled it and I quite like her as the new Spider-Girl (although truth be told, I liked Aran~a better). And it's nice to see her in the UF 'verse.

Ebony the Black Dragon

"Life is like an anole. Sometimes it's green. Sometimes it's brown. But it's always a small Caribbean lizard."


#5, RE: Getaway Cutaway: A Future Imperfect Mini-Story
Posted by Gryphon on Oct-11-11 at 12:45 PM
In response to message #4
>I, on the other hand, read Aran~a until Marvel canceled it and I quite
>like her as the new Spider-Girl (although truth be told, I liked
>Aran~a better). And it's nice to see her in the UF 'verse.

In UF, I'm assuming that she's still called la AraƱa in Spanish-speaking places, and Spider-Girl where they speak primarily English/Standard.

--G.
["They call me... The Spider! Master of men! ... Um, as it were."]
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Admin
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.


#7, RE: Getaway Cutaway: A Future Imperfect Mini-Story
Posted by Ladegard on Oct-11-11 at 11:08 PM
In response to message #5
>["They call me... The Spider! Master of men! ... Um, as it
>were."]

>-><-
>Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Admin
>Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
>Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

Yes, that would have a rather different meaning than Mr.'s Page, Scott and Stockbridge had in mind.


#9, RE: Getaway Cutaway: A Future Imperfect Mini-Story
Posted by ebony14 on Oct-12-11 at 11:47 AM
In response to message #7
To say nothing of Srta. Corazon's lack of accompanying body count. Richard Wentworth was a bit ... messy. "Death to those that deal in death" and all that. Not exactly Spider-Girl's cup of yerba mate.

Ebony the Black Dragon

"Life is like an anole. Sometimes it's green. Sometimes it's brown. But it's always a small Caribbean lizard."


#12, RE: Getaway Cutaway: A Future Imperfect Mini-Story
Posted by Mephron on Oct-12-11 at 09:43 PM
In response to message #9
>To say nothing of Srta. Corazon's lack of accompanying body count.
>Richard Wentworth was a bit ... messy. "Death to those that deal in
>death" and all that. Not exactly Spider-Girl's cup of yerba mate.

The page is gone now, but someone did a count of The Spider books kill-count and figured out it would have, at the least, depopulated Queens and Brooklyn whole and entire.

--
Geoff Depew - Darth Mephron
Haberdasher to Androids, Dark Lord of Sith Tech Support.
"And Remember! Google is your Friend!!"


#13, RE: Getaway Cutaway: A Future Imperfect Mini-Story
Posted by Ladegard on Oct-12-11 at 11:28 PM
In response to message #12
Much less what the villains do. I remember one that involved an army of flame-thrower armed robots walking out of the river and burning down everything in their path.

#14, RE: Getaway Cutaway: A Future Imperfect Mini-Story
Posted by ebony14 on Oct-13-11 at 11:22 AM
In response to message #12
My first encounter with the Spider was the Eclipse Comics re-imagining from the early 90s, done by Tim Truman. In the back was the comment that he and his foes had depopulated the island of Manhattan at least twice in the series. It wasn't until a few years ago that I actually read enough of the stories to see the truth of this.

On a related note, you might check out "Ghosts of Manhattan" by George Mann. Pretty good pulp story.

Ebony the Black Dragon

"Life is like an anole. Sometimes it's green. Sometimes it's brown. But it's always a small Caribbean lizard."


#8, RE: Getaway Cutaway: A Future Imperfect Mini-Story
Posted by Mephron on Oct-12-11 at 04:03 AM
In response to message #3
>admit it... you just wanted and excuse to a) feature the car and b)
>use that lame joke :)

Actually, it was the excuse to feature the car AND the crazy swordswork.

The bad joke literally showed up at that moment as I was writing the story. It wasn't actually planned.

--
Geoff Depew - Darth Mephron
Haberdasher to Androids, Dark Lord of Sith Tech Support.
"And Remember! Google is your Friend!!"


#10, RE: Getaway Cutaway: A Future Imperfect Mini-Story
Posted by Pasha on Oct-12-11 at 11:47 AM
In response to message #8
>>admit it... you just wanted and excuse to a) feature the car and b)
>>use that lame joke :)
>
>Actually, it was the excuse to feature the car AND the crazy
>swordswork.
>
>The bad joke literally showed up at that moment as I was writing the
>story. It wasn't actually planned.

Heh, I believe you, but as I was reading it?
"*snrk* he literally drove circles...oh, no. Meph, don't do it, man...it's not worth it! We can still fix things...too late, he went for the joke." ;-)

--
-Pasha
What was that feeling again?
Oh yes.
-Rage-


#11, RE: Getaway Cutaway: A Future Imperfect Mini-Story
Posted by Gryphon on Oct-12-11 at 02:38 PM
In response to message #8
LAST EDITED ON Oct-12-11 AT 02:38 PM (EDT)
 
>Actually, it was the excuse to feature the car AND the crazy
>swordswork.

Which is cool, I mean, the Chief rarely gets the opportunity to really get all Goemon on it like that.

I ought to mention someplace that, when he had to arrange for new swords after his old ones were lost in Raven: Blood Ties, he thought for a while about going with some amazingly exotic, indestructible material - impervium, say, or uru, or maybe hit Don Griffin up for some of that dalekenium-vibranium alloy he does - but in the end he decided that if they were anything other than steel he would get lazy. So they're just regular swords. I mean, in D&D3 terms they're masterworks, but there's nothing beyond the reach of mortal ken in there.

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Admin
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.


#15, RE: Getaway Cutaway: A Future Imperfect Mini-Story
Posted by The Traitor on Oct-13-11 at 06:58 PM
In response to message #11
Besides which, in this setting calling -anything- indestructible is practically the dictionary definition of asking for it...

---
"Yeah, I'm definitely going to hell/But I'll have all the best stories to tell" -- Frank Turner, The Ballad of Me and My Friends


#6, RE: Getaway Cutaway: A Future Imperfect Mini-Story
Posted by Prince Charon on Oct-11-11 at 09:15 PM
In response to message #0
*cackles* Very nice, and it has a bit of the 'Gryphon's twenty. He's always twenty,' vibe that keeps him fun.

“They planned their campaigns just as you might make a splendid piece of harness. It looks very well; and answers very well; until it gets broken; and then you are done for. Now I made my campaigns of ropes. If anything went wrong, I tied a knot; and went on.”
-- Arthur Wellesley, First Duke of Wellington