Doctor:

The X-rays shot the meld. Not XCOM people. It is not our fault.

Similarly, it is not our fault that one of the X-rays was killed because it stood next to a burning car just before the car exploded.

In short, stop whining.

Peter Eng
--
Insert humorous comment here.

Instant mental image of XCOM-themed Gauntlet port.

"Don't shoot the meld!"

"Heavy shot the meld."

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

>Instant mental image of XCOM-themed Gauntlet port.
>
>"Don't shoot the meld!"
>
>"Heavy shot the meld."

Which in turn leads to Ghostbusters.

"Don't look directly into the trap!"

"I looked into the trap, Ray."

...!
Stoke Mandeville, Esq & The Victorian Ballsmiths
"Nobody Want Verdigris-Covered Balls!"

>Doctor:
>
>The X-rays shot the meld. Not XCOM people. It is not our fault.
>
>Similarly, it is not our fault that one of the X-rays was killed
>because it stood next to a burning car just before the car exploded.
>
>In short, stop whining.

A few years ago, I wrote up a treatment for an UF-compatible version of X-Com.

There's a very good reason that good ol' Doctor Vahlen was the face of the baddies in it: she's that very special combination of ivory tower arrogant, annoyingly officious, and scientifically sinister that eventually results in bad science.

The kind of science that cruises the periodic table at night looking for trouble.

-Merc
Keep Rat

>There's a very good reason that good ol' Doctor Vahlen was the face of
>the baddies in it: she's that very special combination of ivory tower
>arrogant, annoyingly officious, and scientifically sinister that
>eventually results in bad science.

I think she's supposed to be Swiss (it's the non-"VA didn't really get it right" explanation for why her German accent is so weird). I like to think she was at Universität Zürich at the same time as Angela Ziegler, who couldn't stand her.

>The kind of science that cruises the periodic table at night looking
>for trouble.

"What is it this time?"

"We found her trawling the lanthanide series again."

"All right, we'll take it from here. Thanks, Sarge. ... What have I told you? Stay away from the rare earths."

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

>I think she's supposed to be Swiss (it's the non-"VA didn't really get
>it right" explanation for why her German accent is so weird). I like
>to think she was at Universität Zürich at the same time as
>Angela Ziegler, who couldn't stand her.

"I've made a healing ray and installed it in this staff. What did you made?"
"Electroshock therapy the reads the subjects mind while disintegrating it."
"...How fortunate this doubles as a club."

Matrix Dragon, J. Random Nutter

>>I think she's supposed to be Swiss (it's the non-"VA didn't really get
>>it right" explanation for why her German accent is so weird). I like
>>to think she was at Universität Zürich at the same time as
>>Angela Ziegler, who couldn't stand her.
>
>"I've made a healing ray and installed it in this staff. What did you
>made?"
>"Electroshock therapy the reads the subjects mind while disintegrating
>it."
>"...How fortunate this doubles as a club."

"At least my scientific abominations are made on purpose and have theoretically non-evil applications! Yours is floating around dressed as Shadow the Hedgehog murdering people with shotguns, Angela."

"You say that like it somehow gives you the moral high ground, Moira."

-Merc
Keep Rat

>"At least my scientific abominations are made on purpose and have
>theoretically non-evil applications! Yours is floating around
>dressed as Shadow the Hedgehog murdering people with shotguns,
>Angela."

Oh, like Gabe wasn't doing that before his Life Changing Accident.

Really, all Moira needs is someone with a spray bottle for when she gets too crazy. I fully believe that was the Commanders approach in XCOM 1.

Matrix Dragon, J. Random Nutter

>I think she's supposed to be Swiss (it's the non-"VA didn't really get
>it right" explanation for why her German accent is so weird). I like
>to think she was at Universität Zürich at the same time as
>Angela Ziegler, who couldn't stand her.

So they just announced a new Overwatch hero today.

A rogue geneticist with questionable morals who joined Blackwatch and then, after Overwatch collapsed, went on to do some... even more questionable things.

Her name... is Moira.

Well played, Ben.

Well played.

-Merc
Keep Rat

>>I think she's supposed to be Swiss (it's the non-"VA didn't really get
>>it right" explanation for why her German accent is so weird). I like
>>to think she was at Universität Zürich at the same time as
>>Angela Ziegler, who couldn't stand her.
>
>So they just announced a new Overwatch hero today.

Heh, I saw that. I RTd their teaser tweet asking if her last name is Vahlen, 'cause I've got this theory, but they ignored me. :)

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

>There's a very good reason that good ol' Doctor Vahlen was the face of the baddies in it: she's that very special combination of ivory tower arrogant, annoyingly officious, and scientifically sinister that eventually results in bad science.

Had you seen the plot of XCOM 2 DLC? Only thing that prevented Vahlen from being that was Great Commandy One and his psionic abilities. After he got captured, she got into remission and started to do things to aliens. Bad things. Things that caused everyone to ask her "Why? What's the point?"
Things that break game mechanic. Things like Viper King. Or Berserker Muton Queen. Or Archon King.

LAST EDITED ON Oct-29-17 AT 02:24 PM (EDT)
 
From Cmdr. Zebulon P. Gryphon
To Central Officer John Bradford
Re operations reminders

Brad,

Look, I know you're just trying to be helpful, but for Christ's sake I know we don't have a covert action running right now. I'm just going back to the other screen to review the soldiers' records, so that I know which two to send on the next one I've got picked out. If someone I know could provide that information in the covert ops ring, I wouldn't need to do that and create the unfortunate illusion that I've suddenly stopped giving a shit about covert ops, but that is apparently beyond the scope of our available IT technology.

Not that I'm not grateful for your attention to detail, and indeed for springing me from Alien Captivity in the first place! But! Between you nagging me about stuff I'm literally in the process of doing as you nag me about it, Shen constantly bitching that some of her engineers are idle when they physically cannot all work on the currently available projects, and Tygan whining that the science team is idle seconds after presenting me with a list of precisely zero potential subjects for them to research, I'm getting a bit fed up. Jesus Christ, give a man 15 seconds to accomplish a complex task, will you? I'm a psionic Übermensch but I'm not a fucking god.*

Yrs,
Zeb

*yet

There's a voice line lurking in XCOM2:WotC that plays after the Chosen do a bit of bragging:

Bradford: "Wow, Commander. And you thought I talked too much."

---
"She's old, she's lame, she's barren too, // "She's not worth feed or hay, // "But I'll give her this," - he blew smoke at me - // "She was something in her day." -- Garnet Rogers, Small Victory

FiMFiction.net: we might accept blatant porn involving the cast of My Little Pony but as God is my witness we have standards.

TO: mvahlen!xcom.mil
RE: Whining.

1. Nobody shot the meld.
2. The X-rays shot the forklift that exploded next to the meld.
3. WE SECURED THE MELD BEFORE THE EXPLOSION.

We recognize your scientific genius, but it would be appreciated if you used your skills as a trained observer on occasions outside of your laboratory.

Peter Eng
--
Insert humorous comment here.

Which leads to the utter hatred felt when Central went yammering in my ear about the aliens shooting up the resistance camp, and that I REALLY need to get on the ball and SAVE these people already!

Well, Bradford, in THAT case, DON'T drop the squad THREE FULL TURNS out, at full-tilt-boogie run as far as possible, AND below the main level of the area, when there are not one but TWO sectoids RIGHT FUCKING NEXT to them, ok? If you offer up three resistance to be slaughtered before I can even SEE the enemy, you have NO right to whine.

...!
Stoke Mandeville, Esq & The Victorian Ballsmiths
"Nobody Want Verdigris-Covered Balls!"

Really, the drop point is less Bradford's fault than it is Firebrand's. He should direct all complaints to her.

-Merc
Keep Rat

>Really, the drop point is less Bradford's fault than it is
>Firebrand's. He should direct all complaints to her.

I'd say she doesn't want to get shot down, but I haven't seen any evidence that ADVENT has any measurable AA assets at all, based on the way she occasionally loiters over extraction points for upwards of half an hour—sometimes while ADVENT's dropships are inserting strike teams no more than 10 feet away. It's like it never occurs to them to look up.

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.