So here's the thing: Until a month or so ago, I had never played a Pokémon game.

That wasn't really an indie-rock hipper-than-thou thing on my part. I mean, it is true that I'm of such an age that I was never in the target demographic for the franchise, which may intersect with why I never got into the anime, but hell, there are a lot of things I'm into where I'm nowhere near the target demographic.

No, mostly it was because the only portable video game system I'd ever owned until recently is an Atari Lynx. I never had any of Nintendo's portable gadgets. The original Game Boy seemed primitive even when it was new (monochrome graphics in 1989? really?), and I was just never very interested in portable game gadgets thereafter. Since Pokémon games never came out for anything but, that meant I couldn't have played any of them if I wanted to.

Well, then came the point when Nintendo converged their console and portable product lines and came out with the Switch, which was both. And I... still didn't pay much attention, until one day a few months ago when I was wandering around a Large Retail Establishment and noticed they were on sale. So, pretty much at random, I bought one.

And then did practically nothing with it until the end of the summer, when I hurt my leg and had to spend most of September and October over at my mother's, flat on my back in the Tempurpedic Suite without much to do. It was about then it occurred to me that I owned a modern portable gaming device. (Better still, by buying another one of the dock gizmos for it, I could use it with the large TV that happened to be mounted on the wall in the room I was stuck in, and which until that moment had been useless to me because only capable of tuning to Fox News. No, seriously.)

I'm not going to lie: while I was over there, we mostly used it to play Stardew Valley, which my mother got weirdly attached to watching me play. (She is currently very annoyed with me because I hate the fishing minigame in Stardew Valley so much that we cannot progress, but anyway.) But, I happened to mention to my colleagues in the EPU studio that I had a Switch and was so employing it.

I had forgotten that one of those colleagues, Mr. Pearson "Doc" Mui, is a huge fan of Pokémon.

So, that's a long and convoluted story about how the very first Pokémon game I ever played was Pokémon Let's Go Eevee. By a strange convergence of timing, I happened to be in a position to own a Pokémon game for the first time at exactly the point where Nintendo had deliberately made a Pokémon game designed for people who had just wandered in out of the hall to see what all the noise was about. (It's evidently a remake of one of the first-generation games, which is why, despite having started playing in 2019, I only recognize the monsters from 1998.)

I won't bore you with the details of my extremely belated journey of discovery, because I'm sure that, like everyone else in the world, you've all seen it long before me. I will note that I have to confess, I was not expecting a game so obviously aimed at children to be so... spreadsheet-y.

I flatter myself that I eventually got the hang of it, at least well enough to finish the storyline. (Of course, the fact that Doc went to some promotional event or another and then sent me a gift code for a weapon of mass destruction didn't hurt. Boy, was that Team Rocket asshole surprised. :)

I'm still rubbish at catching anything that won't stay in the center of the screen, though. I'm glad the Let's Go capture mechanic didn't continue into Pokémon Sword (which I bought, but am not letting myself play until I've finished Friends Like These).

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

As a die-hard Pokémon fan who genuinely loves all of them: welcome! I really hope you enjoy the games. Let's Go is quite different to Sword in terms of design, but on the plus side, Sword is very accessible. A lot of the new Pokémon games have been going that way, and while it is very much a JRPG made by Fisher-Price, the monster designs are pretty uniformly wonderful.

At least from this weirdo's perspective, anyway. One of my favourites is Vanilluxe, aka "omg why is this literally an ice cream GAME FREAK IS SO LAZY WHY IS THIS NOT A RED FOX OR A DIFFERENT RED FOX". =]

---
"She's old, she's lame, she's barren too, // "She's not worth feed or hay, // "But I'll give her this," - he blew smoke at me - // "She was something in her day." -- Garnet Rogers, Small Victory

FiMFiction.net: we might accept blatant porn involving the cast of My Little Pony but as God is my witness we have standards.

>As a die-hard Pokémon fan who genuinely loves all of them: welcome! I
>really hope you enjoy the games.

Well, I enjoyed Let's Go very much, except when I wanted to actually throw the controller at the screen because I was so tired of the goofy capture mechanic. Although it was a little strange that the villains were more sympathetic than the protagonist's childhood friend. They were at least trying to accomplish something according to a personal ideology. Steve's just an idiot. :)

>it is very much a JRPG made by Fisher-Price

I'm OK with that. I'm not here for deep, unsettling psychodrama that forces me to ask myself the hard questions. :)

>the monster designs are pretty uniformly wonderful.

It's interesting to see how the aesthetic has evolved (as it were) over the years. I mean, some of the creatures in the first generation (as represented in Let's Go, anyway) are pretty weird, but they weren't Klink levels of weird. :)

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
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Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

Klink is adorable and precious and I love its little blobby clown nose. Also it gets access to one of the best boosting moves in the game in Shift Gear, which gives you +2 Speed and +1 Attack in one go. Also, funfax: Klink's line is from the same generation (5) as the much-vilified ice cream and trash bag Pokémon (the Vanillite and Trubbish lines respectively). They are also my favourites because other people hate them and they just want to be your friend, why would you hate the cute thing that wants to be your friend, you absolute rotters.

Also, Let's Go has the capture mechanic that it does because it was based on the mobile game (Pokémon GO) that did the rounds a couple years ago. I couldn't get into it myself because my phone is from the dawn of bloody time but the missus likes it. Generally, capture mechanics in the main series games are quite different, so chaining is really best for hunting shinies. Of which there are two types in Sword: the conventional shower of sparkly stars, and the much rarer shower of sparkly rectangles. You have a base chance of 1 in 65,536 of a given 'mon being the sparkly rectangle shiny. Completionists and shiny hunters are currently competing to see how hard they can beat their heads against nearby blunt surfaces. =]

If you don't mind my asking, are there any particular Pokémon you'd consider a favourite?

---
"She's old, she's lame, she's barren too, // "She's not worth feed or hay, // "But I'll give her this," - he blew smoke at me - // "She was something in her day." -- Garnet Rogers, Small Victory

FiMFiction.net: we might accept blatant porn involving the cast of My Little Pony but as God is my witness we have standards.

>If you don't mind my asking, are there any particular Pokémon you'd
>consider a favourite?

Design-wise, I fear my tastes are pretty mainstream. Apart from the first hour or two of Sword, all the ones I'm familiar with come from the first generation. The flagship critters are good, of course, although it bothers me slightly that Eevee doesn't have a muzzle. Pikachu is better when on all fours; don't ask me why, he just is. I think the cutest one in Let's Go is Vulpix, possibly because someone gave me a stuffed one many years ago and I had no idea what it was from for a long time. I'm also partial to the ones with evolutionary lines that make visual sense, like Bulbasaur > Ivysaur > Venusaur and Charmander > Charmeleon > Charizard (which actually look like they could be three stages in the life cycle of the same animal).

In terms of their abilities, I think Golducks are kind of freaky-looking, but I made absolute bank with one in my Let's Go Eevee campaign. And they're just "weaponized Psyduck" freaky-looking, not "good Christ what the hell is that kill it with fire" freaky-looking, like Jynx and Mr. Mime.

Of the ones I've seen in Sword so far, I must confess to being a bit of a Wooloo man, even though, let's be fair, Wooloo is just a sheep. (Also, Galarian Zigzagoon is pretty cool-looking, although I don't know what the original version looked like. Also, "Zigzagoon" is a fun word.)

Speaking of weaponized Psyducks, let me introduce y'all to my Kantō Regional Championship-winning crew from Let's Go Eevee (all levels are at the time of storyline completion):

Eva (Eevee ♀ 60)
Unoriginal name, but at least she can say it. Likes to be worn as a hat. It is entirely possible that she was the mastermind of the entire operation, and my avatar character was just there to transport her around.

King Faraday (Raichu ♂ 60)
Started out as a lvl-4 Pikachu I caught on my way to Viridian City. Spent the most time out-of-ball of any capture. Always smiling. Probably up to something. Was originally named just Faraday before he evolved.

Howard (Golduck ♂ 55)
Raised from a Psyduck. An absolute weapon. Howard carried two of the gym leader battles (the ones against the Poison and fire-type gyms) singlehandedly. Collects Misty memorabilia in his spare time. (I made that last part up.)

Electrician (Onix ♀ 55)
The Electrician laughs at your puny Voltorb and its attempts to shock her, although she does have a hard time getting through doors. I spent a lot of time looking for a way to evolve her before I found out you can't.

Scorchio! (Charizard ♂ 55)
Joined the crew as a Charmander that a complete stranger gave me by the side of the road because I looked like I could be trusted. When he evolved into a Charizard, he had no luck whatsoever for a while. Lots of crits to the face.

The Unnameable (Mewtwo ◯ 72)
Can't actually have a name, because it was a gift code acquisition and you can't name traded Pokémon in Let's Go. Using this in the endgame was kinda like cheating, what with outleveling everything the opposition had by at least 20, but, hey, single-player game, I'm not proud. I'll bring a tactical nuke to a knife fight. :)

Not on the starting squad at the very end, but worthy of honorable mention:

The Exorcist (Alolan Ninetales ♀ 58)
Again, can't really be named because came in a trade (as an Alolan Vulpix). Did most of the heavy lifting in the Pokémon Tower quest because she was the only one I had with any Dark moves at all (she knew Dark Pulse for some bizarre reason).

The Cleaner (Wartortle ♂ 31)
Earned his nickname by assassinating Team Rocket leader Giovanni's Rhyhorn in our first battle with him, despite the fact that it ouleveled him by something like 15 levels. Sort of fell by the wayside because Howard was more flexible.

Biollante (Victreebel ♀ 38)
A workhorse in the first half of the game, but there wasn't a lot of call for Grass-type moves later on and I needed the roster space to level up the Electrician, so essentially retired after that point.

Orkin (Pidgeotto ♂ 35)
The go-to for Bug-type eliminations, but again, not much called for later on. Scorchio! took over most of the Flying-type duties once he evolved into a Charizard.

Doomkoi (Gyarados ♂ 45)
I remain amused that the most useless creature in the entire Pokémon universe evolves into this. It's like it's powered by all the impotent rage it experienced while it was a Magikarp.

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

Onix does evolve! It's just that Steelix was introduced in Gen 2 (which contained no penguins, alas) and as such there isn't one in Let's Go bc it's based almost entirely on the first gen. Same story with Scizor and a couple other mons.

Also, Doomkoi does that because it's based on an old legend that if a carp swims up the Yellow River and lives for a thousand years it turns into a dragon! Or something like that, I can't remember the exact mythology it's cribbing from. Gyarados and Charizard are excellent Pokémon and very obviously dragons, but they have Flying as a secondary typing (barring certain occasions for Charizard) because they wanted to keep the Dragon typing very rare and only brought out for special occasions. This occasion is the Dratini line, in which a cute blue snake evolves into a bigger, prettier blue snake, which then itself evolves into a very round orange dragon that looks like its sole burning desire is to give great hugs and be a good pal.

look at him. he is shaped like a friend.

Also, Zigzagoon was Gen 3's Regional Obligatory Small Squeaky Thing, based on a raccoon. He is here!

there he is! a good boy!

I hope this was helpful and brought you some small amount of joy. =]

---
"She's old, she's lame, she's barren too, // "She's not worth feed or hay, // "But I'll give her this," - he blew smoke at me - // "She was something in her day." -- Garnet Rogers, Small Victory

FiMFiction.net: we might accept blatant porn involving the cast of My Little Pony but as God is my witness we have standards.

>Also, Zigzagoon was Gen 3's Regional Obligatory Small Squeaky Thing,
>based on a raccoon. He is here!
>
>
>there he is! a good boy!

Aha! The Galarian version looks very similar to the original (unlike, for instance, Galarian Meowth, which looks like a demented beard enthusiast), except it's strictly black and white. This initially led me to think it was meant to resemble a skunk, until I ran across the one that is actually meant to resemble a skunk (which rejoices in the, uh, memorable name "Stunky").

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

Another one from Generation 5! Weird fact: Skuntank, the evolution of Stunky and a large skunk friend, is the fastest Pokémon to gain the ability Stench, which adds a chance to make the opponent flinch on top of every single one of that Pokemon's damaging attacks. Obviously it's better the faster you can get. Trivia!

And yeah, Galarian Zigzagoon is basically Hoennian Zigzagoon but in full Kiss makeup. Still a good boy though. =]

---
"She's old, she's lame, she's barren too, // "She's not worth feed or hay, // "But I'll give her this," - he blew smoke at me - // "She was something in her day." -- Garnet Rogers, Small Victory

FiMFiction.net: we might accept blatant porn involving the cast of My Little Pony but as God is my witness we have standards.

if only crobat got stench. crobat with stench would be awesome

LAST EDITED ON Dec-08-19 AT 00:21 AM (EST)
 
>Klink is adorable and precious and I love its little blobby clown
>nose.

You may be pleased to learn that I have captured one that is capable of growing to Colossal Size. I would include a screen shot of its discovery, but the mechanism for getting screen shots off the Switch seems to be a bit broken right now. Maybe later!

EDIT: Oh, it's working now. That's nice.

"The Choice is made! The Traveller has come!"

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

A good friend! He is Large! His Largeness is impossible to dispute!

Now train him up to be a Klinklang, which is basically a kind of steampunk ophanim, and watch it mangle a bunch of stuff with Shift Gear and a STAB move that's great for getting through Substitutes in Gear Grind.

---
"She's old, she's lame, she's barren too, // "She's not worth feed or hay, // "But I'll give her this," - he blew smoke at me - // "She was something in her day." -- Garnet Rogers, Small Victory

FiMFiction.net: we might accept blatant porn involving the cast of My Little Pony but as God is my witness we have standards.

>A good friend! He is Large! His Largeness is impossible to dispute!
>
>Now train him up to be a Klinklang, which is basically a kind of
>steampunk ophanim

I never knew I needed the phrase "a kind of steampunk ophanim" in my life, but it turns out I did, this whole time.

, and watch it mangle a bunch of stuff with Shift
>Gear and a STAB move that's great for getting through Substitutes in
>Gear Grind.

I have no idea what most of that means, but I'm looking forward to finding out.

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

Okay, so. Shift Gear's a boosting move almost unique to the Klinklang evolutionary line - it doubles your Speed stat and increases your Attack stat by 50%. Gear Grind, however, is the Klinklang line's signature move - literally no other Pokémon can learn it. It only has 50 base power, but it hits twice, and it's a Steel-type move so it does 50% bonus damage when used by a Steel-type Pokémon like Klinklang.

There's also a move called Substitute, where the user sacrifices some health to hide behind a big doll. Pokémon is weird. The doll takes damage instead of the opponent, giving you time to use an item, or a boosting move, or just plain old hide behind something and blast your opponents to death with fire or lightning or a meaty kick to the Voltorbs. Once the Substitute breaks, the opponent can attack you again. The really good thing about moves that hit twice is that if the first hit breaks the Substitute, the second one hits the Pokémon that was hiding behind it. It's handy!

Also, if you're curious, here is a non-Embiggenated Klinklang (though I don't think there's much difference):-

be not afraid

---
"She's old, she's lame, she's barren too, // "She's not worth feed or hay, // "But I'll give her this," - he blew smoke at me - // "She was something in her day." -- Garnet Rogers, Small Victory

FiMFiction.net: we might accept blatant porn involving the cast of My Little Pony but as God is my witness we have standards.

LAST EDITED ON Nov-30-19 AT 06:33 PM (EST)
 
If you are looking for a time sink to have in the background, Barry/Harry and Lydia of the Yogscast just finished a (partial) Nuzlocke run through Pokémon Fire Red (a Gameboy advance version of the original Pokémon Red). If you haven't heard of a Nuzlocke, it's a self imposed set of rules to make Pokémon's harder since especially the newer ones aren't very difficult being made for kids.

Common Nuzlocke rules are you have to name every pokemon you have, you are limited in some way to the amount you can catch in any zone sometimes even to just the first one you fight and if you kill it tough shit that's the only shot you get. Last and probably most significant is if your pokemon faints that's it they are dead and you can't use them anymore. Yes even your starter which you nurtured into a unstoppable engine of death can die and set you back dozens of hours cuz you don't have a leveled fire type anymore.

Harry/Barry and Lydia both haven't played this version since they were kids and they constantly forget what types are good against others and what level/type trainer encounters are. So when they mess up, and it's the Yogscast fucking up in real time is kinda their schtick, things can go south real fast. Team wipe fast. And when they ask Twitch Chat... well Twitch Chat is an unreliable source at the best of times. Every time one of their pokemon dies, they put it in a box labeled the Death Box so they can look at their failures and lament. Let's just say the Death Box has a substantial list by the end of the run.

Here's the playlist if you want to give it a look. I found it worth it for watching grown ass adults wail "MY BEAUTIFUL BABY BOY" in genuine pain as they send their kid's virtual dog fighting simulator pets to their doom.
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLvSp-8FGBzxnrH8hg4zqzbHdXYxosE_bQ

>If you haven't heard of a Nuzlocke, it's
>a self imposed set of rules to make Pokémon's harder since especially
>the newer ones aren't very difficult being made for kids.

Oh, that artificial-hardcore-mode thing. Yeah, I've seen that sort of thing before, just not with this particular franchise. It's not my scene, to be honest.

(I'm not even really into official hardcore modes, come to that. Like a while back there was a fad for people streaming Minecraft with permadeath on. To me, that adds nothing but a bunch of pointless stress, which is not what I'm looking for in my online light entertainment. :)

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

There are only two hardcore/nuzlocke runs I've ever really cared for.

For Minecraft: https://youtu.be/NRzusZmAD7g
And the Pokemon nuzlocke that got an animated recap: https://youtu.be/plSyrHqUh78

Matrix Dragon, J. Random Nutter

Syd is currently going for the elusive "Scottish megane Prinz Eugen doing a spot of cheerful Prattkeeping" look, and I think she's nailed it.

--G.
She's probably holding off a trio of Stuffuls. Those things are the Chucky of the teddy bear set. All they're missing is the butcher knife.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

Syd's made a new card to commemorate her completion of the Gym Challenge and advancement to the semifinals.

Actually, she made two. This is the one she ran off a bunch of copies of to give out to random people.

This one was... just for Marnie.

Now, I'm not saying she deliberately did this right before they faced off in the semifinals or anything, but I do maintain that psywar is a legitimate pokéfight tactic. :)

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

You ever delay a boss fight on purpose and just go grind levels in the overworld until you've got him outleveled by like 10+ levels, because you don't just want to win, you want to make an example of him as a warning to future generations?

Seriously, I bear Leon no personal animus, but the game has hyped him being "undefeatable" so heavily at this point that I feel like my victory will be incomplete if I can't brandish his head and shout, "People of Galar! Behold your invincible champion!" before pitching it contemptuously into the stands.

--G.
"Are you not entertained?! Are, you, not. Entertained!"
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

LAST EDITED ON Dec-22-19 AT 05:42 AM (EST)
 
Reminds me of my rematch against Seymour in FFX, many years ago now. I made sure to have Anima on deck, with her Limit gauge already fully charged.

"Mom says hi."

The best thing was that the programmers actually thought to put in a check for that, and a line for him: "So, even you would turn against me?"

It was a short fight.

"People of Galar! Behold your invincible oh. Ohhhh, oh dear. Er. Um. CUT TO AN AD BREAK DARREN THERE'S KIDS WATCHING THIS-"

---
"She's old, she's lame, she's barren too, // "She's not worth feed or hay, // "But I'll give her this," - he blew smoke at me - // "She was something in her day." -- Garnet Rogers, Small Victory

FiMFiction.net: we might accept blatant porn involving the cast of My Little Pony but as God is my witness we have standards.

as arceus is my witness he is broken in half

>"People of Galar! Behold your invincible oh. Ohhhh, oh dear. Er. Um.
>CUT TO AN AD BREAK DARREN THERE'S KIDS WATCHING THIS-"

For some reason, this just reminded me of a bit on the old Top Gear that I didn't understand the first time I saw it, not being versed in the legalities of British TV. Clarkson was introducing the Star in a Reasonably Priced Car guest, and in doing so made a remark to the effect of,

"He's best known for presenting {some program or another}, before he was sacked for swearing before the watershed."

(glance at wristwatch)

"I mean for f--k's sake."

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

>You ever delay a boss fight on purpose and just go grind levels in the
>overworld until you've got him outleveled by like 10+ levels, because
>you don't just want to win, you want to make an example of him as a
>warning to future generations?

Well... mission accomplished. Goodbye, Mr. Bond!

As I noted in the tweet, I love how accidentally dramatic that was. I couldn't have made it come out that way if I'd tried to arrange it. I love when games do that. :)

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

One nice touch: Once you've defeated Leon and become the Champion of Galar, the game's title screen changes to show you and the crew you took to that match.

From left:

- Wisteria (Leafeon)
- Crazy Eddie ([REDACTED])
- Doc (Mew)
- Syd
- Fergus (Cinderace; Syd's starter)
- Iron Annie (Steelix)
- Captain Cold (Glaceon)

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

> - Iron Annie (Steelix)
>
>--G.
>-><-

Annie is the one who one shotted that Charizard in the video you posted, yes?

>> - Iron Annie (Steelix)
>
>Annie is the one who one shotted that Charizard in the video you
>posted, yes?

Yup. Well, sort of one-and-a-tenth-shotted; if you look closely, the move itself didn't quite one-shot him, but the fact that it comes with a bonus Sandstorm finished him off in the same round. :)

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

>
>Yup. Well, sort of one-and-a-tenth-shotted; if you look closely, the
>move itself didn't quite one-shot him, but the fact that it
>comes with a bonus Sandstorm finished him off in the same round. :)
>
>--G.

Conceded; but yes, I was thinking of how Sandstorm finished him off even if the one shot kill logic kept you from doing just that?

LAST EDITED ON Feb-12-22 AT 00:48 AM (EST)
 
>>You ever delay a boss fight on purpose and just go grind levels in the
>>overworld until you've got him outleveled by like 10+ levels, because
>>you don't just want to win, you want to make an example of him as a
>>warning to future generations?
>
>Well... mission accomplished. Goodbye, Mr. Bond!

I was digging around on my Switch's memory card earlier, looking to clean up the storage a bit and forestall the inevitable day when I have to buy an even bigger MicroSD card, and I ran across this clip again. And watching it again, I realized something.

Gloria is meant to seem cute and harmless like all Pokémon main characters. She didn't even really want to be a competitive Pokémon trainer when she started. She's supposed to be the standard cheerful, charmingly naïve protagonist who's been swept into the role by events and is doing the best she can, always a tiny bit out of her depth.

But she's not.

She is a breaker of wills. A destroyer of dreams. In the course of her carefully executed campaign, she ruthlessly snuffs out the ambitions of all who dare oppose her, brings the most powerful man in Galar to his knees, and makes not one but two supernatural terrors out of myth her willing servants. Gloria is Galar's unconquerable goddess of war, the Enyo of the frozen north. Strife and Discord are her handmaidens, Eternatus and Scorbunny her heralds. None may stand against her. All shall love her and despair.

It makes a man proud to have some Scottish ancestry.

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
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Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

It transpires that Dynamax Energy is no substitute for a dose ae laldy an' a faceful ae heid, ya buncha wee gobshites.

---
"She's old, she's lame, she's barren too, // "She's not worth feed or hay, // "But I'll give her this," - he blew smoke at me - // "She was something in her day." -- Garnet Rogers, Small Victory

FiMFiction.net: we might accept blatant porn involving the cast of My Little Pony but as God is my witness we have standards.

my apologies to the nation of scotland, both for this specifically, and for being english where people can see.

The memes already realized this.

"Oh no, she's Scottish."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fkp8FOE37ZA

>Gloria is Galar's unconquerable goddess
>of war, the Enyo of the frozen north. Strife and Discord are her
>handmaidens, Eternatus and Scorbunny her heralds. None may stand
>against her. All shall love her and despair.

Earlier today, I was reminded of one of my favorite little details about Pokemon Sword (while watching Ina play Final Fantasy XVI, of all things). Gloria generally doesn't conduct herself in a particularly brash or cocky manner during the game, despite the above? But there's one exception, which tickles me every time: She enters buildings like she owns the place. She doesn't pick a side of the double door and go through--she shoves them both open and goes right up the middle, like Conan barging into a throne room. "Who will face me?!"

They probably just animated it like that because it was the simplest way to set up a universal door-opening animation, but it unintentionally defined a key aspect of Gloria's personality for me. :)

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

It does have that "Which one of you bastards spilled my fucking pint?" energy that Syd in particular channelled so well.

Also, I can't remember if you commented on it at the time, but there are new games in the Pokey Mans series on the Switch. It is set in Not Spain, and I think you would adore Nemona. She has that Eyrie Teen Energy, and is absolutely ob-fucking-sessed with Pokémon battles (despite not being that good), and is just adorable and precious. As is Penny, who has the most "We couldn't explicitly sat she's a trans girl but she just is" vibes ever and has a full team of Eeveelutions. There is a fish that looks like sashimi that can pilot a big whale thing like a mech. The Fire starter evolves into a chubby crocodile lounge singer. There is an olive with an anxiety disorder. There is an earthworm the length of a small car. There is a sentient lawn flamingo. There are two different Big Stupid Slobbery Dogs, one of which is a zombie.

And then there is Rika.

Rika is a butch lesbian from an 80s anime series who got lost on the way to her girlfriend's house and accidentally wound up in a Pokémon game. She is an angular woman in a smart shirt and nice trousers and a fancy necktie. When you take a little quiz to see if you're ready to take on the Elite Four of the Paldea region, she puts on reading glasses that just make her look even lesbianerer. Her favourite Pokémon in the whole entire world is her Clodsire, who is the most round, squishy, huggable, gormless, Friend Shaped Pokémon ever. I think you'd like her, is my point here.

The game is notorious for graphical... issues, let's call them, and I agree that the thing needed a lot more polish before it came out. But I think the designs of the new clutch of monsters, including Plot Shenanigans Related versions of other Pokémon from previous games, genuinely makes up for it. Mostly. I think it's worth a look.

---
"She's old, she's lame, she's barren too, // "She's not worth feed or hay, // "But I'll give her this," - he blew smoke at me - // "She was something in her day." -- Garnet Rogers, Small Victory

FiMFiction.net: we might accept blatant porn involving the cast of My Little Pony but as God is my witness we have standards.

To be fair, a lot of the oft-reported graphical issues come from running the game for like, fifteen hours nonstop and then being surprised that weird things are happening to your ingame experience.

>You ever delay a boss fight on purpose and just go grind levels in the
>overworld until you've got him outleveled by like 10+ levels, because
>you don't just want to win, you want to make an example of him as a
>warning to future generations?
>
>Seriously, I bear Leon no personal animus, but the game has hyped him
>being "undefeatable" so heavily at this point that I feel like
>my victory will be incomplete if I can't brandish his head and shout,
>"People of Galar! Behold your invincible champion!" before
>pitching it contemptuously into the stands.
>
>--G.
>"Are you not entertained?! Are, you, not.
>Entertained!"
>-><-
>Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
>Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
>zgryphon at that email service Google has
>Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

After finally getting around to finishing this up, Leon made think "Maybe those rando alien warlords that show up to punch Superman in the face did nothing wrong?"

I mean, a thousand curses on him for encouraging Hop to think he is my Rival in anyway. Binch, you couldn't be the Rival of a passing Mr. Mime.

>I mean, a thousand curses on him for encouraging Hop to think he is my
>Rival in anyway. Binch, you couldn't be the Rival of a passing Mr.
>Mime.

In my head, Syd wasn't even really that into being a Pokémon trainer. She mainly took it up to humor Hop, and only by random chance turned out to be way better at it than he is. She even feels kind of bad about it. Not that that stops her from crushing him like a grape every time he instigates a battle. (You'll notice it's never her idea when they throw down, except once within the framework of the actual tournament.)

I always picture her uttering a resigned sigh and mumbling, "Aye, fine, if ye insist, Hopkins... (ye fookin' wido)" as she digs around in her bag for the B-team's pokéballs, in the hope that at least she won't ruin him so badly this time that he mopes for a month. He's so tedious when he gets into that headspace.

--G.
"A tell ye, Marnie, A love tha' boy tae bits (no' in tha' way), bu' I cannae deny 'e's fookin' stupid."
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

My trainer Crisium seems to have been just happy to sponge off Galar's robust youth transient housing social programs as she takes her J Term off finding herself and bar hopping while doing grunt research work for a lazy grad student.

Pokémon Sword/Shield is the tragic tale of somebody convincing a village idiot who does ok in his local Y rec basketball league to follow around fucking Lebron and challenge him to one on ones, who is bound by magical compacts to accept no matter how many times he dunks on said hapless imbicile.

So, you're probably wondering how I got sucked into the whole Pokemon thing. Warning, this might be long.

Blame volunteer work. At the time I was doing the "big brother-type mentor thing," the kid I was paired with was really into Pokemon. So, I figured that if I was to talk to the kid, I should at least learn the lingo.

So, I bought a copy of Pokemon Blue and played through it. And yes, I had to have a guide book because otherwise, I was lost. Eventually, I got the hang of it and the kid and I started battling.

I turned out to be better than him. But, I encouraged the kid not to give up and gave him pointers.

That was back in, oh, 1999 or so? I remember going to the Stadium Tour 2000 at Woodfield Mall on April 1, 2000. At 7 AM, the mall (which wasn't even open) was jammed inside with kids just waiting to have Mew put on the Pokemon Red/Blue cartridges. I also remember a kid who proudly showed off his level 100...Squirtle. When I pointed out that Squirtle wouldn't evolve, he was understandably upset.

(This has been remedied ever since Sword/Shield. A rare candy will evolve a level 100 critter and not use up the candy.)

I've never been one for the competitive scene. Yes, I beef up my critters to their potential, but it's for the game, not for beating anyone in front of me. But show me an event that's nearby for a legendary/mythical critter? I'm there. I once went to Six Flags Great America just to get a Celebi. I remember hooking up my Game Boy Advance to 3 other units just to mix berries/records and give away an Eon Ticket.

Go to Gamestop for a code? Use the internet for a mystery gift? It's a lot easier nowadays to get legendary/mythical critters.

I can't believe that I've had every mainline Pokemon game. I guess I just got into the habit of getting it. And there have been so many quality of life improvements.

I've beaten Scarlet and Violet, but I left Shield unfinished. Scratch that, I've left Ultra Sun/Ultra Moon unfinished. I should really get to those before the Nintendo 3DS wi-fi goes down. Otherwise, those critters will be stranded forever.

(I'm currently transferring off my old critters to give to Phil Moyer. It'll involve a bit of legwork, but these critters deserve a good home.)

So, any questions?

--Doc

I haven't actively played any Pokémon game since Crystal (using a third-hand cartridge), but I occasionally poke my head in. I'm slightly appalled that they started dropping Moves, and even entire evolutionary lines of Pokémon, from games. You're not allowed to have a Porygon in Paldea.

We do have Porygon in Pokémon Go!, though.

>I'm slightly appalled that they started dropping Moves, and even entire
>evolutionary lines of Pokémon, from games.

If they just kept adding a new batch each time without removing any of the old ones, the obligatory quest to 100% the Dex would be a helluva slog by now...

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

There is a tangible reward for actually catching 'em all now, funnily enough- if you register all 1010 or however-many it is mon in Pokemon Home, the secondary app, you get a Magearna with a special colour scheme and that's the only way to get it.

People have often called this cutting back of the roster 'Dexit' and have scorned it as a way to sell DLC that increases the playable roster, but honestly having spent a few years getting used to it I can see the method in the madness.

Specifically it helps in the official competitive format Nintendo upholds. By limiting the pool of playable Pokemon and gradually allowing a wider variety over time, it helps - a little - in stopping the format from always being the same as last year. Inevitably things do tend to calcify with most teams being made of the same very narrow pool of most-powerfuls, but at least the calcified format of SV is different to the calcified format of SwSh, let's say.

It also feels like there's more reason to like... I have a reason to replay Sword and Shield because it offers me certain Pokemon that aren't available in Scarlet and Violet, for example. In a culture where video games are becoming increasingly consumeable and replay value is being phased out in favour of 'consume game, move onto new game', it helps to find replay value where you can.

>If they just kept adding a new batch each time without removing any of
>the old ones, the obligatory quest to 100% the Dex would be a helluva
>slog by now...

An obvious solution presents itself, as they say.

Honestly, the whole "catch em all" thing feels very dissonant to the story themes very often IMO. At least some of the newer games changed the dex completion requirement to 'see' instead, but still...

-IA.

(stuff like 'here's this gen's new bug evolution lines! they both suck!' also got old after a while)

Quarantine controls are a thing :P

Matrix Dragon, J. Random Nutter