Boy, this game dropped at exactly the right time, didn't it? Who doesn't want to move to an uncharted island (but one equipped with surprisingly comprehensive services) and grow tulips for the duration of the crisis? On the Isle of Avalon, far from the deafening noise of the old society collapsing, we happy band of survivors lived in peace and abundance.

Then, everything changed when the Easter event attacked.

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

Two more days. Two more days and I will find that bloody rabbit and make stew.

(If people would like to visit Beautiful Appleonia, hit me up for my friend code!)

"Ah, Gryphon. What would you like to discuss with me today?"

"Let's talk infrastructure."

"Yes yes! Which project would you like to discuss?"

"We need better border controls, Tom."

"Of course, I--wait, what?"

"Right now we're just letting anybody waltz onto the island, and we're starting to attract a lot of riffraff."

"But we need to grow the island's profile so that K.K. Slider will--"

"First there was that psycho in the bunny costume."

"Well, yes, that was unfortunate, but--"

"Then there was the lunatic selling turnips as if they were some kind of investment commodity."

"Turnips ARE an investment--"

"And now we have a shady-ass art dealer coming around willy-nilly. I mean this is making us look BAD."

"But I don't--"

"We're going to build a wall, Tom." (gestures to colossal leftover heap of Bunny Day eggs) "And we're going to make Zipper pay for it."

"... Fine."

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

>"And now we have a shady-ass art dealer coming around-"

"Redd. Isabelle... Get my gun."

Matrix Dragon, J. Random Nutter

Cleverly, I picked up the game -after- the easter event closed. Mwahaha.

....this art dealer, tho, I dunno about.

Also, in my headcanon, Orville and Wilbur are escaped CIA experiments who use ESPer powers to control their computer/plane because their tiny limbs can't reach.

LAST EDITED ON Apr-27-20 AT 11:41 PM (EDT)
 
Get your tarantula island cash grabs in while you can friends May is a coming

>Get your tarantula island cash grabs in while you can friends May is a
>coming

Speaking only for myself, now that the museum has one, I'm perfectly fine with never seeing a tarantula again.

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

>>Get your tarantula island cash grabs in while you can friends May is a
>>coming
>
>Speaking only for myself, now that the museum has one, I'm perfectly
>fine with never seeing a tarantula again.
>
>--G.
>-><-
>Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
>Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
>zgryphon at that email service Google has
>Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

I feel like a character in a Guy Ritchie movie, getting into illegal exotic animal smuggling to pay off my increasing debts to a ruthless landlord.

>I feel like a character in a Guy Ritchie movie, getting into illegal
>exotic animal smuggling to pay off my increasing debts to a ruthless
>landlord.

I see this narrative about Tom Nook a lot, and I'm not buying it:

A, he's not your landlord, you bought the house.

B, how is giving out interest-free loans with absolutely zero repayment pressure or any timetable whatsoever "ruthless"? I'd like to see you score those terms from your local credit union.

If anything, once you're in place and set up on the island, Tom's not the landlord, he's a general contractor. From that perspective he's one of the most honest ones in the world--he does quality work at lightning speed, never underdelivers what he promised, and is unnervingly laid-back about ever getting paid back, even when the amount owed him is substantial.

And his rates are really quite reasonable. He/his unseen crew can get an entire museum moved—completely moved, collections and all—and entirely set back up in its new location, as though nothing had happened, in one night, and he charges less for that service than the cost of a low-end luxury car.

Don't be baggin' on Tom Nook in my house, is all I'm saying. He does good work—and he must be doing it, and maintaining his air of sleepy good cheer, despite what must certainly be the considerable discomfort of whatever he has to do to conceal his massive tanuki balls in those Bermuda shorts.

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

One of my friends points out that, having paid off the home expansions and such, he also paints your house exterior for free - every day if you like.

Which -is- a nice perk to look forward to as I stare (sigh) down the barrel of another half-million bells...

LAST EDITED ON Apr-29-20 AT 03:49 AM (EDT)
 
I've never been too much into the series, but somehow I've gotten the impression that, in earlier installment(s), you weren't allowed to say no to the home expansions. As soon as you paid off one mortgage, you were immediately saddled with another. Because who wouldn't want a larger, nicer house? Why would you ever be content with what you have?

And so (if this fuzzy third-hand recollection is accurate), the game gained a rep as a perfect microcosm of the Sisyphean burden of home ownership, conspicuous consumption, and/or inescapable, ever-increasing debt.

LAST EDITED ON Apr-29-20 AT 11:55 AM (EDT)
 
Reasonable rates!?! You pay hundreds of thousands to add a single room to your house! It's the same as a bridge! Either there are some serious code violations going on in that bridge or he built your house using gold bricks.

He was going to charge you 98K for a cell phone that can't call anybody and a tent!

I -will- note that bells are probably a lot closer to yen than to dollars - $290 for a book is ridiculous, but $2.89 sounds like a paperback, for instance.

Oh, no.

Wasn't it five years? I thought you got five years.

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

>Wasn't it five years? I thought you got five years.

After the bodies were found, I'm sure it was life without parole...

Matrix Dragon, J. Random Nutter