I'd like to see a DLC pack that replaces Johnny Silverhand with Ted "Theodore" Logan. I think that would make the core campaign a lot more bearable. The terrible life decisions you keep seeing in the flashback scenes would all still be there, but they'd be born out of Ted's endearing ineptitude rather than Johnny just being a massive douchecanoe.

--G.
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Johnny is, without question, a massive douchecanoe.

But hey, it's not like he can stop V from telling him like it is.

------
Authors of our fates
Orchestrate our fall from grace
Poorest players on the stage
Our defiance drives us straight to the edge

Look, Johnny, I know you think we're under time pressure here, but I left the daedra invasion of Cyrodiil to look after itself for like six months while I did all the side quests, and I'll do the same to you if I feel like it. Watch and learn.

--G.
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Good thing, too, because there's a hell of a lot of side content in CP2077. But...yep! Works the same way, no matter what terrifying percentages might show up in your subscreen.

------
Authors of our fates
Orchestrate our fall from grace
Poorest players on the stage
Our defiance drives us straight to the edge

>Good thing, too, because there's a hell of a lot of side content in
>CP2077. But...yep! Works the same way, no matter what terrifying
>percentages might show up in your subscreen.

One of the fun things about open-world games that have that sort of "ratchet" mechanism to their world development is that as long as you don't do the story mission that advances the world to the next stage, it's not a problem!

(For instance, in Oblivion the Oblivion Gates don't become a ubiquitous problem until you actually go to Kvatch, however long you dick around before you finally do that. Although you can hear people in the streets talking about how Kvatch has been totally destroyed, which frankly would make my character less inclined to go there than before if he heard about it. :)

--G.
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>One of the fun things about open-world games that have that sort of
>"ratchet" mechanism to their world development is that as long as you
>don't do the story mission that advances the world to the next stage,
>it's not a problem!
>
>(For instance, in Oblivion the Oblivion Gates don't become a
>ubiquitous problem until you actually go to Kvatch, however long you
>dick around before you finally do that. Although you can hear
>people in the streets talking about how Kvatch has been totally
>destroyed, which frankly would make my character less inclined to go
>there than before if he heard about it. :)

That seems to be a Bethesda trademark, alongside enough bugs to stock the world's most massive terrarium. The Enclave doesn't start air-dropping in on you or setting up check-points until you bring your dad to Project Purity, while the dragons don't start trying to BBQ you every 10 steps until you try to do the fetch quest for the Greybeards.

>That seems to be a Bethesda trademark, alongside enough bugs to stock
>the world's most massive terrarium. The Enclave doesn't start
>air-dropping in on you or setting up check-points until you bring your
>dad to Project Purity, while the dragons don't start trying to BBQ you
>every 10 steps until you try to do the fetch quest for the Greybeards.

Well, it's a logical way to set up world changes tied to story progression. It's not their fault it gets broken when people choose to exploit the open world and just dick around for months before getting on with the main quests. :)

--G.
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>Well, it's a logical way to set up world changes tied to story
>progression. It's not their fault it gets broken when people choose
>to exploit the open world and just dick around for months before
>getting on with the main quests. :)

Sort of think it's the other way around, Bethesda seems to literally encourage players to spend weeks or months completing every single little quest that smacks them in the face between quest markers set on the other side of the map. It's like "You could take that wagon over there and go straight to Markarth or you can walk on foot and arrive there sometime next year decked out in end-game tier gear." Throw in any DLCs and...well..let's just say I've never finished the main storyline for a Bethesda game since New Vegas.

>Throw in any DLCs and...well..let's just say I've never
>finished the main storyline for a Bethesda game since New
>Vegas.

To be fair, I think that's a sample size of... two. If you don't count Elder Scrolls Online. Which you shouldn't.

--G.
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>To be fair, I think that's a sample size of... two. If you don't
>count Elder Scrolls Online. Which you shouldn't.

And that one game we don't talk about because Bethesda certainly doesn't want to these days. If you ask them, they haven't anything slated for release until Starfield, which is sometime between now and the heat death of the universe.

>>To be fair, I think that's a sample size of... two. If you don't
>>count Elder Scrolls Online. Which you shouldn't.
>
>And that one game we don't talk about because Bethesda certainly
>doesn't want to these days.

I didn't count that one because it doesn't have a single-player campaign.

--G.
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LAST EDITED ON Feb-04-21 AT 00:08 AM (EST)
 
I installed mantis blades for V. This means she can no longer punch people non-lethally, which means when I have to take down someone without zeroing them, I have to switch to a blunt weapon that does stun damage.

V only owns one of those, which is why she's now out there wrecking cyberpsychos with a giant dildo named Sir John Phallustiff. And they thought they already needed therapy!

I think someone at CDPR was channeling their inner Saints Row a bit. You have to love Night City...

--G.
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>I installed mantis blades for V. This means she can no longer punch
>people non-lethally, which means when I have to take down someone
>without zeroing them, I have to switch to a blunt weapon that does
>stun damage.
>
>V only owns one of those, which is why she's now out there wrecking
>cyberpsychos with a giant dildo named Sir John Phallustiff. And they
>thought they already needed therapy!
>
>I think someone at CDPR was channeling their inner Saints Row a
>bit. You have to love Night City...
>

So this may have been a factor of difficulty setting, but when I did some of those missions it seemed to be nigh impossible to actually kill those dudes. I got thanked for being gentle with the guy I took down with several well placed sniper rounds.

Not saying there isn't entertainment value in dildo delivered subdual damage, just that more tools might be available to you than you'd think.

	-={(Astynax)}=- "This Space For Rent."

>Not saying there isn't entertainment value in dildo delivered subdual
>damage, just that more tools might be available to you than you'd
>think.

Well, yeah, I mean I could fit a gun with the "does non-lethal damage" mod or whatever, but the buried lede here is that Sir John Phallustiff is an incredibly powerful non-lethal melee weapon. Like, numerically the most powerful (non-cyberware) melee weapon V owns, more so than the legendary katana she picked up somewhere. :)

--G.
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I don't know what platform you're playing the game on, but on PC at least, there is still the option to use fists even if you have Mantis Blades equipped. Try holding the weapon cycle button (Alt key on PC) and it should bring up a radial menu of your weapons, and one of the options will be plain fists (may only show up if you have melee as the current active weapon).

>I don't know what platform you're playing the game on, but on PC at
>least, there is still the option to use fists even if you have Mantis
>Blades equipped. Try holding the weapon cycle button (Alt key on PC)
>and it should bring up a radial menu of your weapons, and one of the
>options will be plain fists (may only show up if you have melee as the
>current active weapon).

Ah, OK. The blades replaced fists as weapon 4, and I didn't investigate beyond that. (I was relieved to discover that the "street fight" missions were smart enough to opt for fists even though the blades had replaced them in regular combat. That would've been awkward.)

Dildo's still funnier, though. :)

--G.
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I've bought a microscopic city car. It has an adorable computer voice that says "Konnichiwa!" to me when I get in. This automatically makes it the truest friend a person can have in Night City.

--G.
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You bought the MaiMai? Wow, I did not expect it to have a voice! I think I know which song comes up on the radio, too... XD

------
Authors of our fates
Orchestrate our fall from grace
Poorest players on the stage
Our defiance drives us straight to the edge

LAST EDITED ON Feb-05-21 AT 05:50 PM (EST)
 
>You bought the MaiMai? Wow, I did not expect it to have a voice!

Well, in the interest of full disclosure, that's the only thing it says. You know how most (if not all) cars in CP2077 have a "startup sound" when you get in? "Konnichiwa!" is the Maimai's. :)

Also, I have to admit I half bought it because of Wakako's sales pitch. "It's small, but it has room for you, your gun, and some groceries, and what more do you really need?" You have a point, Madame Okada. You have a point. Although, do people in Night City even buy groceries? I mean, my apartment has a burrito vending machine inside it.

Which reminds me, it occurred to me the other day, as I was out in the absolute ass-end of nowhere and came across a row of vending machines--who maintains them? Does somebody in a jumpsuit come into my apartment every now and then to stock up the burrito machine? Or is it supplied by some kind of automated system built into the space between floors of the megabuilding? And what about the ones out in the Badlands, and wedged into the darkest, farthest alleys of the city?

Which, in turn, reminds me that one of my favorite little bits of worldbuilding in Fallout New Vegas was the discovery that there is actually someone (or, well, some robots, anyway) restocking the Sunset Sarsaparilla machines when no one's looking, and you're not out there drinking 200-year-old soda pop. :)

--G.
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Also: V's apartment is colossal by the standards of the old CP setting. Hell, the game manual for 2013 (and maybe 2020? I forget) explicitly states that starting player characters are homeless, and the best they can hope for is a pod in a long-stay coffin hotel. Old-school Cyberpunk PCs are literal murder hobos. V's place has more than one room! OK, one of those rooms is a spy-movie gear stash, which makes me think the management of Megabuilding H10 specifically set up some units to rent to edgerunners--which is pretty boss--but still. It even has an ensuite bathroom. Decadent.

--G.
><-
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Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

>Which reminds me, it occurred to me the other day, as I was out in the
>absolute ass-end of nowhere and came across a row of vending
>machines--who maintains them? Does somebody in a jumpsuit come into
>my apartment every now and then to stock up the burrito machine? Or
>is it supplied by some kind of automated system built into the space
>between floors of the megabuilding? And what about the ones out in
>the Badlands, and wedged into the darkest, farthest alleys of the
>city?

It could be another one of the noodle ghosts, but this one just happens to like burritos.

This being Cyberpunk, not Shadowrun, Burrito God would be an even bigger, spookier deal than Noodle God.

LAST EDITED ON Feb-08-21 AT 04:04 PM (EST)
 
>This being Cyberpunk, not Shadowrun, Burrito God would
>be an even bigger, spookier deal than Noodle God.

And yet, as one of the loading screen tips says, all of Night City's weirdest urban legends have a habit of being true. :)

--G.
Admittedly, in the Cyberpunk mythos, Burrito God would probably end up really being Burrito AI, but sufficiently advanced technology and all that.
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>And yet, as one of the loading screen tips says, all of Night City's
>weirdest urban legends have a habit of being true. :)
>
>--G.

The writers definitely laid into the mysticism a little during the game. The Tarot quest is given to you early, and later on there's another meditation series of quests as well.

------
Authors of our fates
Orchestrate our fall from grace
Poorest players on the stage
Our defiance drives us straight to the edge

>>And yet, as one of the loading screen tips says, all of Night City's
>>weirdest urban legends have a habit of being true. :)
>>
>>--G.
>
>The writers definitely laid into the mysticism a little during the
>game. The Tarot quest is given to you early, and later on there's
>another meditation series of quests as well.

Given that it's the outfit that made the Witcher games, we're probably lucky the engram on the Relic isn't slowly turning the PC into Koschei the Deathless. :)

--G.
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The Nomad intro mission is good--probably the best of the three--but I sorta wish I could play as a Nomad trucker who's gotten caught up in Night City's craziness through no fault of her* own, and all she really wants is to get her rig back and move on.

"When some ten-eyed, eight-foot-tall Maelstrom cyberpsycho grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, and he looks you crooked in the eye and he asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the central eye, and you remember what ol' Val Burton always says at a time like that: 'Have ya paid your dues, V?' 'Yessir, the check is in the mail.'"

--G.
* or his, but like Commander Shepard, female V has the better voice actor
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Took me a moment to get the reference, but that was one of my favorite movies back in the day. Bravo, sir.

------
Authors of our fates
Orchestrate our fall from grace
Poorest players on the stage
Our defiance drives us straight to the edge

New mod idea: replace Johnny with Miku Hatsune. Turns out Saburo Arasaka was just a massive Vocaloid fanboy, and Yorinobu's rebellion was all about "Ugh, you're embarrassing me in front of all the cool kids, you antediluvian weeb."

Joking aside, I would play the absolute shit out of an adventure game where your augmented-reality buddy cop partner is a slightly flickery, somewhat jaded Miku engram who escaped from the System and wants to topple megacorps. Like, the version from the "Sand Planet" video. That would work perfectly.

You wouldn't even have to mess around with the dialogue that much.

V
What the hell is this?

MIKU
What's it look like? Brancesi, 2021, Untitled No. 18. Oil on canvas. Sheesh.

V
What the hell was it doing on the moon?

MIKU
What else? Some bougie prick hung it on his wall. Half the Louvre's floating around in space.

V
You ever been?

MIKU
Uh... I didn't actually get paid when I was a big-time idol. Like... at all.

V
Oh, right.

--G.
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>New mod idea: replace Johnny with Miku Hatsune. Turns out Saburo
>Arasaka was just a massive Vocaloid fanboy, and Yorinobu's rebellion
>was all about "Ugh, you're embarrassing me in front of all the cool
>kids, you antediluvian weeb."
>
>Joking aside, I would play the absolute shit out of an adventure game
>where your augmented-reality buddy cop partner is a slightly flickery,
>somewhat jaded Miku engram who escaped from the System and wants to
>topple megacorps. Like, the version from the
>"Sand Planet" video. That would work
>perfectly.
>

She would make a more tolerable mental presence. I picture her as being one of the less malicious escapees from beyond the Blackwall.

I'm actually just a little surprised I haven't seen any Vocaloid-ish references/Easter eggs. They stuffed a GLaDOS one in after all.

	-={(Astynax)}=- "Here come the test results: You are a horrible person. I'm serious, that's what it says: A horrible person. We weren't even testing for that."

There's a quest later on that involves anime idols, but not a Vocaloid. so far as I know.

Don't get me wrong, I actually appreciate what they did with Johnny Silverhand and if you handle it right he -does- mellow out some. But...yeah. A mod that changes him to that jaded, dry-humor Haku Mitsune would be hella awesome.

Set the whole piece to Fleet of Fog-era Earth...

------
Authors of our fates
Orchestrate our fall from grace
Poorest players on the stage
Our defiance drives us straight to the edge

>
>Set the whole piece to Fleet of Fog-era Earth...
>
*considers this*

*Sighs*

Maybe back in the day when I first found EPU I might have had the chops to pull something like this off.

Now? Fuggedaboutit. :(

>New mod idea: replace Johnny with Miku Hatsune.

Upon reflection, I can't decide which would be funnier: to swap Miku in for Johnny, or for V. Up-and-coming solo with an engram based on a turn-of-the-century virtual idol in her head, or real-life ex-aidoru trying to make a living as a solo, saddled with the digital ghost of a dead rockerboi who harbors a towering, ill-concealed contempt for corporatized entertainment.

--G.
"Well, that didn't work. Why don't you try giving him the winky face and shaking your ass at him, like old times?" "As opposed to what you would've done in YOUR day: drink most of a bottle of Black Label and write another crappy song about how Arasaka-senpai won't notice you."
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Having Johnny ride around in Miku's head would be amazing. I mentioned elsewhere in this thread (ye gods, a YEAR ago?) that there's a quest later on helping out some J-pop idols. Listening to Miku give advice to the three Us Cracks girls would be precious.

Starting with, "I don't care how many eddies Kiroshi is paying you, those eyes look fucking stupid."

------
Authors of our fates
Orchestrate our fall from grace
Poorest players on the stage
Our defiance drives us straight to the edge

>Having Johnny ride around in Miku's head would be amazing. I mentioned
>elsewhere in this thread (ye gods, a YEAR ago?) that there's a quest
>later on helping out some J-pop idols. Listening to Miku give advice
>to the three Us Cracks girls would be precious.
>
>Starting with, "I don't care how many eddies Kiroshi is paying you,
>those eyes look fucking stupid."

Heh, I just did that mission tonight. Y'know, I'm starting to think that of the two, although Johnny is hands-down the bigger jerk, Kerry is actually the dumber one. Boy's just not serving from a full pitcher.

--G.
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You know how all the missions in the game are named after songs? At the beginning of the Nomad lifepath, you run into the sheriff of some pockmark SoCal town near the NoCal/Night City border, and he makes it absolutely clear within seconds of meeting you that he hates Nomads. All the hallmarks are there that the game is setting this guy up as an antagonist for you, if not now, then later on.

But after the prologue, you can never go back to that town again for any reason. No mission takes you there, and even if you took it into your head to freeroam it for no in-game reason, you can't--the SoCal border patrol blows you up if you try to cross back into the state.

I feel like this has to be an unfinished part of the game. Surely they wrote that prologue with the specific intent of linking it later on to a mission called "I Shot the Sheriff".

--G.
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Hah!

I hadn't thought about the song, I admit, but 100% that sheriff looked like he was going to be an antagonist for some silly sidequest somewhere. Maybe he was taking money from the Wraiths to harass V's old crew. But...yeah, he never shows up again that I've seen, and I've done most of the sidequests and gigs by now.

------
Authors of our fates
Orchestrate our fall from grace
Poorest players on the stage
Our defiance drives us straight to the edge

Johnny can see things V isn't looking at. I can't decide if that's the writers of the game forgetting that he isn't really a separate entity, or a deliberately metaphysical detail.

(Also, at one point he picks up a nearby stool, plunks it down in front of V, and sits down on it to have a chat, but if you look away after he's gone and then look back, the stool is back where it was before the cutscene started, which I'm going to give the benefit of the doubt and assume is a clever touch and not a bizarre oversight.)

--G.
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