"Ask Hal" is a weekly column presented by the Green Lantern Corps BBS. Ask veteran Green Lantern Hal Jordan, protector of Space Sector 2814, your questions about life in the service of the Guardians!

Q. Dear Hal,

Sometimes when I wake up in the (? start of daycycle), I find that my (? appendages) have swollen while I slept and I can't get my power ring on for the first (? hour) or so of the daycycle. It's very frustrating to know that my poor nightcycle circulation may lead to suffering and pain among those I am sworn to protect. Can nothing be done about this problem? Obviously, I cannot consult a local physician, as that would mean revealing my status as a Green Lantern, and I prefer to maintain my anonymity. Please help!

Jx'nglvard
Green Lantern, Space Sector 4419

A. Dear Jx'nglvard,

You didn't mention your species, but if you're a native of Sector 4419, I'm going to guess that you're not humanoid. I'm no xenophysician, in any case, but I find that a similar thing does sometimes happen to me. Assuming the appendage you wear your power ring on is anything like my human fingers, it's a tricky problem. Of course, humanoid Green Lanterns wear gloves, which adds a little thickness to our fingers - so in an emergency, I can always take off my glove and try to get a little more room that way. Barring that, the only thing I can recommend is some mild lubrication - but whatever you do, don't use soap. It works, but it gets trapped under the ring and can chafe abominably.

If your species has more than one primary manipulator, I recommend training until you're comfortable using your ring with both/all of them. You may find it easier to get your ring onto another one in the morning, and in any event, you never know when you might have to improvise in the field.

Hope this helps,
Hal

Q. Dear Hal,

The other day, I was using my power ring to change the course of a vast meteorite which threatened to destroy all life on my homeworld when it suddenly occurred to me that this same power I use in defense of my Sector could also be used for personal gain. Now, I hasten to point out that I am a loyal and stalwart Green Lantern and would never do such a thing - but since that realization I have been preoccupied with the possibility.

Have the Guardians thought of this? Are they aware that such a thing could happen? And if they are, have they taken steps to prevent it? It disturbs me to think that our power rings might have some kind of fail-safe mechanism, because that would indicate the Guardians have less-than-complete trust in our discretion, but on the other hand... well, the mind revolts at the damage a rogue Green Lantern could do if left unchecked. What are your thoughts?

Concerned,
Sinestro of Korugar
Green Lantern, Space Sector 1417

A. Dear Sinestro,

Don't concern yourself. Such a thing could never happen. We Green Lanterns are far too rigorously screened for any of us to ever act on those thoughts. The Guardians know this - it's the reason why the criteria for becoming a Green Lantern in the first place are so very strict. There are no fail-safe mechanisms built into Green Lantern power rings.

Also, don't worry about the fact that you've been musing on the possibilities. That's only humanoid nature. We've all had such thoughts at one point or another in our careers (well, except for Eddore). Be confident that your selection and training make you immune to the temptation we all face to abuse our power.

(Besides, if any Green Lantern ever did go off the rails, the others would come down on him like a ton of bricks, and no lone Lantern, however skillful, could stand against the rest of the Corps for long.)

Semper fi,
Hal

Join us next week* for another installment of Ask Hal!

* I'm not actually going to be writing one of these every week. I don't think the joke has that kind of legs. --G.

>Don't concern yourself. Such a thing could never happen.

Hal's really dumb, isn't he?

I prefer to think of him as an adequate armchair psychologist. Put too much emphasis on something like that, and it's going to inspire more thoughts along that line, rather than less. In most people, anyway.

I had already read this when I saw it again (wonder why it wasn't marked "read"?) and thought:

"Neat! NXE crossover! What will Hal 14000 say?"

and then I was disappointed.

t.
will go to bed now, and dream of supercomputers...

Trigger Argee
trigger_argee@hotmail.com
Manon, Maccadon, Orado, etc.
Denton, never leave home without it.

"If we are marked to die, we are enough
To do our country loss; and if to live,
The fewer men, the greater the share of honour
God's will I pray thee wish not one man more" - Henry V, Act, IV Scene III

>will go to bed now, and dream of supercomputers...

You mean, I presume, computers with super powers? <grin>

-- Bob
-------------------
Then the horns kicked in...
And my shoes started to squeak.