Very nice! Once again, you've caught the 'flavor' of CSI perfectly..and we got to see the doc! :)

Oh, and between the Real Genius quote (yogurt) and the Ghostbusters one (drill a hole in your head) I had to stop reading to giggle for quite a few minutes.

Of course, I'd forgotten to read the forums for several days, so I didn't see the teaser/promo until AFTER I'd read the actual show...so I got to see how badly the various quotes were taken out of context :)

I was actually pleased that I got the context, if not necessarily to whom and when, correct for most of the quotes.

That said, I've never watched a CSI ep in my life, so most of the jokes had me cracking up like a banshee.

Particularly the end. Definitely the end.

I really should watch CSI, just so I actually know what they all look like.

Go back and look at the "BPGD: CSI Night Shift" thread; it's still current and has shots of the crew.

>Go back and look at the "BPGD: CSI Night Shift" thread; it's still
>current and has shots of the crew.

except for Greg and Brass (who are also from CSI, but not part of the night shift field team)

overall, i'm quite pleased with this story... i think all the characters are, well, in character for their CSI selves... i especially like the semi-episodal Trip To The Dessert, and the (adapted) reference to the parasailing episode...

-Z
CSI fan and general weirdo

Rabid Crack Turtle 3.14159
---
If G-d had wanted us to think for ourselves, He'd have given us brains.

I did, but that's only good enough for 'serious!face' expressions.

When they're flustered or happy, that's a different story, and I'd rather not fall back on envisioning them as anime characters just yet.

That and I have no decent method of envisioning their working environment. Environment is just as defining a characteristic as facial features.

I seldom see CSI, but I saw one episode about a guy getting electrocuted while drinking Coke (or was it Pepsi?). So when I saw someone getting electrocuted in Parallel Lines, I thought that was from that episode. Looks like I am wrong.

Anyway, nice story to read.

Oh, just one minor problem:

From Parallel Lines
"24100322 17:10:19 WPN39581 (SIDLE, S. CSI3) WEAPON DISCHARGE"

From BPGD
"Name: Sara Sidle"
"Grade: Crime Scene Investigator 2"

A promotion in between ?

--
CuSO4

>A promotion in between ?

Typo in the BPGD entry. Sara was promoted to CSI3 in mid-January.

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor in Chief, Netadmin
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/

Inquiry. Is this quote

> "Hello, boys!" said Gryphon. "I trust you all have permits
>for those weapons."

drawn from 'Gone in 60 Seconds'? I can't find my instance of the DVD, probably due to the pile of metal and wood that will be my new entertainment center when I have the energy to set it up.

--
Kokuten Daysleeper
RCW #13013
(Insert Witticism Here)

Guys? Is it necessary to seek verification of every damn thing you think might be a quote from a movie?

I mean, I love seeing Forum traffic about stories when they go up, but it'd be really nice if at least some of it were about the actual content. It's such a letdown to think, "Oh hey! Somebody's got something to say!" and then find out it's just one of these.

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor in Chief, Netadmin
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/

>Guys? Is it necessary to seek verification of every damn thing you
>think might be a quote from a movie?
>
>I mean, I love seeing Forum traffic about stories when they go up, but
>it'd be really nice if at least some of it were about the actual
>content. It's such a letdown to think, "Oh hey! Somebody's got
>something to say!" and then find out it's just one of these.
>

Well, I do have something to say... MAJOR ROCKAGE!!! Both in the episode itself and in how many other folks besides the Night shift put in an appearance!

I lost count of how many seeming reffereances to other things went on...

Love how you built up how it is that Nick happened to know Vision. I get the feeling that they met doing some MMORPG'ing because of the Barbarian lines myself.

Which leaves me with just one question. I can pretty clearly see the differneces between the Canon DC Batgirl and Sgt Barbra Gordon. The bigest of which is that the events that lead up to Ms. Gordon having to set aside Batgirl and become Oracle clearly did not happen. But I'm used to seeing at least a bit of flirting between she and Sgt Grayson... But then again, this was from the CSI side, not the NAPD side, so who knows what goes on beteen the two Sgts off screen, right?

You know what I really found amusing?

"My point is," she said, "he's -not- a god or anything. Take
away all the things he's built and done and made, reduce him down to
the bare essence that makes him who he is, and he's still just a man.
But - he's a damn good one. He'll let you walk away, but he'll never
turn his back on you. If you count on him, he'll never let you down."

No, he isn't God, he just had sex with a Goddess (I'm actually surprised Urd hasn't made a move on him, or maybe she did, but I've forgotten), and has a child who is (a) God.

*grin*

Anyways, great writing as usual. I managed to guess it was Racial hate-crimes the moment the list of victims were mentioned (having just WATCHED CSI, so I was in that frame of mind) and I'm glad to see that there's a more diverse 'main spotlight' sharing by the crew in this.

You know, I could have sworn I know what a Lawgiver is... I just can't remember it, but I do remember myself going, "&^$%$#(!!!! A LAWGIVER?!" upon reading what Sara got. :P

>I'm glad to see that there's a more diverse 'main spotlight' sharing
>by the crew in this.

...I thought my record was stuck or something all during development. G or Wedge would say something, and I'd be like "uh, Warrick could do that." "How about Warrick?" "Warrick."

The one time I said "...what about Nick?", I got stared at funny. ;)

Ardie
big Warrick fan

If you remember Leeanna, she (like all Judges) used a Lawgiver. They're the guns that switch between several improbable types of ammo on voice command, and are (IIRC) quite lethal to anyone not authorized to pick one up.

"They say one should not speak unkindly of the dead, so I say, 'nice try'." --Lezard

>If you remember Leeanna, she (like all Judges) used a Lawgiver.
>They're the guns that switch between several improbable types of ammo
>on voice command, and are (IIRC) quite lethal to anyone not authorized
>to pick one up.

IHNJ, IJLS "several improbable types of ammo". (It's a fun phrase.)

--
Geoff Depew - Darth Mephron
Haberdasher to Androids, Dark Lord of Sith Tech Support.
"Brazil has decided you're cute."

>You know, I could have sworn I know what a Lawgiver is... I just can't
>remember it, but I do remember myself going, "&^$%$#(!!!! A
>LAWGIVER?!" upon reading what Sara got. :P

Lawgiver=handcannon á la Judge Dredd et all. Or, in UF, á la Zardorn.
Och, and just an aside:I absolutely LOVED the Greg playing the test-tubes scene. First, I could see him doing it. Second, that 'it was off' thing
was just hilarious! Bravo!

LAST EDITED ON 04-27-04 AT 04:14 PM (EDT)
 
>>You know, I could have sworn I know what a Lawgiver is... I just can't
>>remember it, but I do remember myself going, "&^$%$#(!!!! A
>>LAWGIVER?!" upon reading what Sara got. :P
>

Here's a good site to see what the standard Lawgivers, Mark I and II, as well as the one from the Stallone movie, look like. Judging from the description given in the story (which was quite good) it sounds like it's a snub-nosed version of the Mark II.

http://www.2000ad.nu/termight/replicas.html

Ebony the Black Dragon
Senior Editor, Living Room Games
http://www.lrgames.com

LAST EDITED ON 04-25-04 AT 08:30 AM (EDT)
 
I'm still wondering about the hand-print.

(Edit: Umm, not looking for an explanation, mind.)

The name "Adam Savage" caught my eye. There's one actor, and one special effects guy according to IMDB. The SFX guy worked on Star Wars, Matrix, and a bunch of others. Interesting.

Hmm, maybe I was thinking of Fred Savage.

(Edit: Oh. Mythbusters, okay.)

(Edit: Adam-ven? ahahaha! That scene broke me!)

--
Satya.

That was just cool. Nicely written.

Boothroyd is the Quartermaster? Excellent, and it makes sense.

The entire dueling scene between Adam and Greg... And Jaime standing right there... Struck me as funny because he are two guys screwing around, playing like Jedi and leaning against the wall is a Jedi. And Hyneman seems like a good guy--both in the source material and in UF--but not necessarily one with an immediately obvious sense of humor that would appreciate that.

The scene between psycho-boy Vincent and Sara just screamed she was going to draw her newly aquired Lawgiver and drop him. And initially, I wondered why she didn't. Then (like two minutes later) I realized that she wasn't one to see that as a solution. The entire dropping her service weapon eariler proved that.

Nice to see that someone else finds Judge armor cheesy. Hood ornament...

Cathrine rocks in this story. There I said it.

Anyway, great story. And nice to see Mephron brought up again.

I wonder what Kate and Utena are up to?

-- Bodhi

LAST EDITED ON 04-27-04 AT 11:00 AM (EDT)
 
>Hyneman seems like a good guy--both in the source material and in
>UF--but not necessarily one with an immediately obvious sense of humor
>that would appreciate that.

Jamie's got quite a sense of humor, really - it's just that he's so reserved, especially compared to Adam, that you don't tend to notice it as much. I mean, he puts up with Adam, right? (Mind you, I don't actually know these guys, so I base my assessment of their characters solely on what appears on Mythbusters, but still.)

>The scene between psycho-boy Vincent and Sara just screamed she was
>going to draw her newly aquired Lawgiver and drop him.

Well, there are a lot of reasons why she didn't. To name one, Sara's not Han Solo; she carries her weapon where it's not likely to get in the way or cause a fuss in public, not where she can have it ready for action in less than a second. Besides which, pretty much nobody can draw a weapon fast enough to beat somebody whose own weapon is not only already out, but already aimed. If she'd tried it, Vincent would've blown her head off.

You came to the main reason yourself, though:

>I realized that she wasn't one to see that as a solution.

Exactly. Sara's not an action hero; she's a scientist. Her instinctive response to something like her situation in that scene is to analyze it - try to figure out how she got into it, rather than look for an immediate way out. "I bet I could kill this guy" just isn't something that comes naturally to her mind. Now, once he'd said his piece and it was obvious what kind of a corner he'd backed her into, she was prepared to fight, but even then, her aim was to overpower him and escape if she could, not kill him.

This is one of the key factors informing Sara's remark, later in the story, that she and Gryphon come from different worlds. She carries a weapon because it's part of her job. He carries a weapon because it's part of his life.

>I wonder what Kate and Utena are up to?

Well, let's see. Springtime in 2410, three months or so after Vortigern's Lake No. 2... Kaitlyn will be on Tomodachi, midway through her first semester at Hotohori University, getting ready to spend spring break in total-reality-oblivion mode doing the music for Corwin's wedding, and Utena will be getting back up to speed with her coursework at NIT and wondering what the hell to wear. :)

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor in Chief, Netadmin
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/

>Well, let's see. Springtime in 2410, three months or so after
>Vortigern's Lake No. 2... Kaitlyn will be on Tomodachi, midway
>through her first semester at Hotohori University, getting ready to
>spend spring break in total-reality-oblivion mode doing the music for
>Corwin's wedding, and Utena will be getting back up to speed with her
>coursework at NIT and wondering what the hell to wear. :)
>
Hmm... That WOULD require some serious thought, now wouldn't it? After all, to date a good 75% of her screen time has her in some uniform or another.

Heh. Even a lot of her 'non' uniforms eventually became defacto uniforms for her, such as 'valiant command undress': Ie Coco Martinez Jersey, Red shorts, and saddle shoes, if i recall correctly (though I probobly don't)

Again, very well written work. I think the CSI arc, and this story in particular, show a humanity that's sometimes lacking in crime drama (though I can't speak for CSI, not having seen it.) There's meaningful interaction, not only between the investigators and the suspects/victims, but also between each other.
Furthermore, I think it showed, in a way even A Night To Remember, with its combination of kaiju-class and Big Fire footsoldier mayhem couldn't, that even though New Avalon is one of the nicest cities to live in the Quadrant, it still has its problems, just like any other city.
In addition, it's obvious in a way I think was lacking before to some extent, that you don't have to be super-human to be really cool in the eyes of the IPO; moreso, that it doesn't stop you from working alongside awesome people like the Experts of Justice.
If this were an RPG, I'd say the EPU staff gained a level. The writing mixes the light-heartedness, compassion, and the 'good guys win' ideal of UF, with the seriousness of crime drama, without losing either in the process.
One thing I'm still wondering about, though...why WERE Catherine and Sara drinking the department coffee and not Monolith coffee?

>One thing I'm still wondering about, though...why WERE Catherine
>and Sara drinking the department coffee and not Monolith coffee?

Catherine views the breakroom coffee as one of the little rituals of the day; it's horrible, it's bitter, it's disturbingly thick, and half the time it's not even hot, but it sure wakes a person up.

Sara, on the other hand, actually likes it.

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor in Chief, Netadmin
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/

>Sara, on the other hand, actually likes it.
>
THATS scary, Gryph!!!

> Again, very well written work. I think the CSI arc, and this
>story in particular, show a humanity that's sometimes lacking in crime
>drama (though I can't speak for CSI, not having seen it.) There's
>meaningful interaction, not only between the investigators and the
>suspects/victims, but also between each other.

It's certainly something from the show we were trying to translate. They do a pretty good job of balancing a lot of empathy in with the dramatic elements and the 'come to a resolution in 45 minutes' constraint that's the downfall of so much on television. The show don't always get it 100% right, but the characters are generally so much fun to watch anyway that they pick up the slack.

Spinning that into UF has made for a very entertaining few months. It's been a fun process.

(I credit the show's success in that regard to William Peterson, who is also one of the show's producers and has quite a bit of creative input. CSI: Miami ain't got it (though I watch it, mainly because I like David Caruso. Emily Proctor doesn't hurt either. :) and I don't expect much from the upcoming CSI: New York. Neither does Bill, from what I understand.)

	Chad Collier J. Random Pixel Pusher Digital Domain The Captain of the Gravy Train

A couple of odd ball comments:

Replicators: I understand the point you were making about the sheets in the Monolith, but in the age of replicators, newly made sheets would be no big deal. Also, why have the -evil- coffee machine and vending machines if there are replicators to get food or drink from? Or are replicators restricted to starships and the IPO officies have to do things the old fashion way?

Hot Shot: When Catherine called to tell Hot Shot that she did not need a ride home, did he answer on his car phone? An Autobot with a car phone is either highly amusing or the fact that I find it funny indicates I am deeply disturbed. ;)

You use quotes from Ghostbuster 1. What you opionion on Ghostbusters 2? I personally have only seen it once and was not terribly impressed.

I told you they were odd ball comments. DrOsborn

LAST EDITED ON 04-29-04 AT 01:43 PM (EDT)
 
> Also, why have the -evil- coffee machine and
>vending machines if there are replicators to get food or drink from?

Replicators in the Star Trek: The Next Generation sense - basically transporters set on "copy" - don't exist in the UF universe. References to devices called "replicators" in past stories are either mistakes, the products of poorly briefed co-conspirators, or are talking about more conventional duplication technologies, like document copiers and whatnot.

The synthesizers mentioned aboard ship in a couple of the Challenger's appearances (such as in Fanfare for an Exiled Prince) don't work on the replicator principle either. The one that makes Utena's uniform in Fanfare is basically the same machine as the automatic tailors that get mentioned from time to time - they make garments from stored raw materials.

There are a lot of reasons why I don't like TNG replicators; the main one is that they make everything too damn easy. You want something to eat on a starship in the UF universe, you at least have to zap a Hungry Humanoid tray. :)

>Hot Shot: When Catherine called to tell Hot Shot that she did not need
>a ride home, did he answer on his car phone?

Of course!

The best thing is when someone calls Hot Shot, and they get the canned message from Avalon County Cellular telling them "the customer you are calling may have left the vehicle." :)

>You use quotes from Ghostbuster 1. What you opionion on Ghostbusters
>2?

I seem to recall it stinking. I haven't watched it since whenever it was in theaters, though I ended up having to buy a copy on DVD to get a copy of the original. I do remember that it had some funny dialogue in it, though. Most comedy films in my experience, even the really bad ones, do tend to have at least one really funny line. (Even Major Payne had the "there's a monster in my closet" scene. "If he's still in there, he ain't happy.")

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor in Chief, Netadmin
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/