"One of these days," Corwin mused thoughtfully, "I fully expect
to be notified that Toph has singlehandedly subjugated the dvergar of
Deeper Svartalfheim and is now their dark and terrible queen.  Lounging
insolently upon a throne of obsidian and gold while terrified goblins
peel grapes for her one at a time."
        "Given some stories I've heard about what she got up to back in
the day... I wouldn't be surprised," Korra admitted.

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

I thought she preferred melons….

The melongrapes of Svartalfheim are a little-known local delicacy, largely because they must be peeled or they end up tasting like... well, melon rind.

LAST EDITED ON Aug-17-13 AT 10:59 PM (EDT)
 
>I thought she preferred melons�.

Sometimes, in the dread monarch business, it's not about what you prefer so much as what's more work for the goblins.

Or there's Terminus's answer. Either one works for me. :)

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

"But, but what if the Stone Queen finds out about the rebellion we have planned?"

"There's none so blind, Vaedidriex, as those who will not see."

"Not," said a dangerous voice from the corner, "quite."

---
"Yeah, I'm definitely going to hell/But I'll have all the best stories to tell" -- Frank Turner, The Ballad of Me and My Friends

>        "One of these days," Corwin mused thoughtfully, "I fully expect 
>to be notified that Toph has singlehandedly subjugated the dvergar of 
>Deeper Svartalfheim and is now their dark and terrible queen.  Lounging 
>insolently upon a throne of obsidian and gold while terrified goblins 
>peel grapes for her one at a time." 
>        "Given some stories I've heard about what she got up to back in 
>the day... I wouldn't be surprised," Korra admitted.

In an oddly a propos case of synchronicity, an Avatar crossover fic currently being released on the Pit of Voles has a very similar passage.

From Sokka's private thoughts:

And besides, we're talking Zuko and Toph. Two of the most badass benders 
out there, and Zuko never goes anywhere without his swords.  And… Toph. I 
mean – taking her out? You'd need… gah, I dunno, an entire army of flying 
mutant ninja were-lemurs!

…Except that flying mutant ninja were-lemurs would probably still get their 
butts kicked, and then they'd take Toph to their secret ninja lair and make 
her their queen, and he should probably stop there, because the world wasn't 
ready for Toph, Tyrant Queen of Flying Mutant Ninja Were-Lemurs.

(from The Dragon King's Temple, by Kryal)

-- Bob
-------------------
My race is pacifist and does not believe in war. We kill only out of personal spite.

>because the world wasn't ready for Toph, Tyrant Queen of Flying
>Mutant Ninja Were-Lemurs.

SOKKA
The world isn't ready for Toph...

SPOCK
(interrupting)
I would accept that as an axiom.

Also, as an aside, when I wrote the line about lounging insolently on her throne, I had in mind this classic panel from the 1960s Thor comics:

Toph wouldn't wear that hat, though. She's blind, but she has standards.

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

She also wouldn't be wearing the boots....

>She also wouldn't be wearing the boots....

Bah.

All good Tyrants were jack-boots. Or is that their thugs?

I forget.

Brian

>She also wouldn't be wearing the boots....

She might. They just wouldn't have soles.

--G.
"Sorry, shoes!"
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

>>She also wouldn't be wearing the boots....
>
>She might. They just wouldn't have soles.
>
>--G.
>"Sorry, shoes!"

Point taken.

>Also, as an aside, when I wrote the line about lounging insolently on
>her throne, I had in mind this classic panel from the 1960s
>Thor comics:

Now I pictured the Conan shot, myself:

Fits her temperament and sort of where I expected her career arc to go.

--
Mr. Fnord

It occurs to me, given her metalbending abilities, that Toph is ADMIRABLY suited for the Iron Throne.

"But how'd she make it so COMFY?"

>>Also, as an aside, when I wrote the line about lounging insolently on
>>her throne, I had in mind this classic panel from the 1960s
>>Thor comics:
>
>Now I pictured the Conan shot, myself:

He's not really lounging, though, is he. Or insolent.

I don't think Toph really believes that's what's best in life, anyway. I mean, it's pretty good, but best? Conan obviously doesn't have enough hobbies if that's the best he can come up with.

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

>I don't think Toph really believes that's what's best in life, anyway.
> I mean, it's pretty good, but best? Conan obviously
>doesn't have enough hobbies if that's the best he can come up with.

"Conan, I want to introduce you to this game called 'D&D'. In it, you pretend to be another person, like a brawny guy with a...

"Um. You know what, never mind that.

"Okay, Conan, I want to introduce you to cross-country skiing..."

-- Bob
-------------------
My race is pacifist and does not believe in war. We kill only out of personal spite.

>He's not really lounging, though, is he. Or insolent.

True. Admittedly I found a couple good insolent lounging pictures but they weren't exactly what we'd call work friendly.

>I don't think Toph really believes that's what's best in life, anyway.
> I mean, it's pretty good, but best? Conan obviously
>doesn't have enough hobbies if that's the best he can come up with.

Dude spent his life up to that point turning a big wheel and pit fighting. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt on his priorities. ;)

--
Mr. Fnord
"I know this: if life is illusion, then I am no less an illusion, and being thus, the illusion is real to me. I live, I burn with life, I love, I earthbend, and am content."