LAST EDITED ON Nov-08-14 AT 06:07 PM (EST)
 
This is in final review, or would be if Phil wasn't at NekoCon. :) Probably be out sometime next week.

The story has been overhauled for stylesheet release, but the text of this sample still stands, so I'll just bump this post rather than repost it.

--G.

---

        Commander Jurdak looked up from his dinner and scowled at Sub-
Commander Krattak.  "What do you want?" he said.  Seeing the small
figure standing next to the general's adjutant, he scowled still more,
his bushy eyebrows colliding, and then inquired acidly, "What's this?
Has the Chancellor decided to include bring-your-daughter-to-work day
among the human traditions we're now expected to embrace?"
        "General Thalekh's compliments," said Krattak with the
imperturbable calm of a man who knows his position makes him untouchable
by common, everyday officers, regardless of their relative ranks.  "He
has found you a replacement for Battle Engineer P'maav."
        Jurdak's scowl became a thing of legend.  "Is this Zargh's idea
of a joke?" he demanded.
        Krattak smiled thinly.  "General Thalekh doesn't -have- an idea
of a joke," he replied.
        Jurdak surged to his feet, his great bulk moving more swiftly
and easily than the sight of him implied.  Standing, he was a good two
feet taller than the figure standing next to Krattak, slim and slight in
spite of her armored uniform; but though she had to tilt her head back
some way to do it, she looked him in the eye without evident fear as he
glowered down at her.
        "What am I expected to do with -this?-" the commander wanted to
know, his voice precisely calibrated so that everyone in the bird-of-
prey's messhall would hear it clearly.  "It's too small and fragile to
be of any use in battle and too young to know the machinery.  If I were
putting together a klin zha kinta team it might do for a Swift, but only
if we were playing against Ferengi."
        Most of the others in the messhall laughed raucously at that.
Standing next to Krattak with her jaw set and her back straight,
B'Elanna glanced quickly but incisively around the room, taking note of
the few who didn't.  Of that handful, most were watching the situation
unfold too intently to find it amusing, and one - the hulking figure in
the far corner - was paying no attention at all.  He was facing away
from the captain's table and appeared to be reading something.
        "The one doubts my assessment of the candidate's skills?"
Krattak inquired, his voice cool and pleasant.  "Perhaps the one will
inform General Thalekh of his reservations regarding the efficiency of
the general's chief of staff."
        The laughter stopped suddenly at that, as if someone had fired a
warning shot into the ceiling.  Sub-Commander Krattak was always calm,
always collected, never raised his voice.  A few around the Seventh
Fleet whispered that he might have a little bit of Vulcan in him, but he
was far more dangerous than a Vulcan - so perhaps the calmer, deadlier
kind of Rom.
        Now his deceptively pleasant tone even penetrated Jurdak's
bluster.  His broad, scarred face greying slightly, the commander
growled and seated himself again, then gestured to one of his
subordinates and said, "Vokaan, see if it can defend itself with those
tiny hands."

I hope that the Battle Engineer (B'lanna I presume) defends herself in a manner befitting a duellist.

>I hope that the Battle Engineer (B'lanna I presume) defends herself in
>a manner befitting a duellist.

I think you can safely presume that, given that her name was mentioned.

Every time I start to think I actually like the Klingons, I'm reminded of the fact that they have a deeply sick culture. :)

You know, I actually lost track of B'Elanna awhile back. Curious as to the circumstances that could ever get her to serve on a Klingon ship, as if I recall correctly she wasn't precisely all that enamored of the Empire.

-Merc
Keep Rat

LAST EDITED ON Mar-08-14 AT 02:26 PM (EST)
 
>Every time I start to think I actually like the Klingons, I'm reminded
>of the fact that they have a deeply sick culture. :)

There's some exploration of that in the story this is a piece of, actually.

>You know, I actually lost track of B'Elanna awhile back. Curious as to
>the circumstances that could ever get her to serve on a Klingon ship,
>as if I recall correctly she wasn't precisely all that enamored of the
>Empire.

She explains her reasoning fairly well in the scene back in Prelude in A Minor wherein she signs up:

        The door to his quarters chimed.  "Come in," Zargh called,
expecting to see his adjutant - but instead, he found himself facing
B'Elanna O'Brien.
        "What do you want?" he asked - not belligerently, just by way
of greeting.
        He was mildly surprised when she replied in Klingonese, <I've
come to join your fleet, General Thalekh.>
        Zargh frowned.  <You?  Whatever for?  You renounced your
Klingon citizenship years ago.>
        <My uncle forced that course upon me,> she replied.  <I was
young and powerless; I fled the brutal tyranny under which he ran my
family because it was my only option.>  Her dusky face darkened as she
went on, <I am no longer powerless, and now his fist holds half the
Empire.  I would do my part to end that.>
        <An admirable sentiment,> Zargh said.  <Not all my warriors
may see it that way, though.  With your human blood and your
Earthman's name, you won't have many friends in the fleet.>
        <I don't need more friends,> B'Elanna said with a cold little
smile.  <My goal isn't to be loved, it's to help the Empire throw off
my uncle's yoke.>
        <To what purpose?> Zargh wondered.  <Will you fight out of
love for the Klingon people or hatred of your uncle?>
        <Both,> she said without hesitation, surprising him again with
her forthrightness.  <Yes, I fled the Empire and denied my Klingon
heritage.  I was a child and I made a child's mistake: equating my
uncle's savagery with the Klingon way of life.  Since then, others -
you, Captain Krontep, Professor Kraalgh - have taught me that the
Klingon way is not my uncle's mindless brutality.  I've learned to
appreciate the beauty and honor of my mother's culture.  But if he is
not deposed, my uncle will -make- the Klingon way his way within a
generation.>  She shook her head.  <I can't stand by and allow that.>

That, too, connects to the experience of serving with Commander Jurdak, who is... rather not one of the "beauty and honor" Klingons she has lately come to appreciate.

As an aside, Chief of Staff Krattak sort of stole the scene he's in for me, because he's sort of the Klingon converse to Maximilian Chin XVII - the master bureaucrat and logistician, indispensable to those he ostensibly serves, calm, unflappable, always polite... and incredibly dangerous within his own native context. (Which Chin totally is too, it's just... less obvious.)

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
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Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

>>Every time I start to think I actually like the Klingons, I'm reminded
>>of the fact that they have a deeply sick culture. :)
>
>There's some exploration of that in the story this is a piece of,
>actually.

I'll be interested to read it! One of my favorite scenes in DS9 was when Ezri straight up tells Worf "the Klingon Empire is dying, and I think it deserves to die."

Times have been tough for old-guard Klingons in UF lately, one imagines. There was the whole Klingon Republic thing, and if I recall correctly the Empire had to accept a number of reforms as a condition of reunion that moved it away from the whole "rule by the strongest and most brutal" thing Klingons are known for. And then Klayvor's attempt to undo all that in one fell swoop didn't precisely work out either.

>>You know, I actually lost track of B'Elanna awhile back. Curious as to
>>the circumstances that could ever get her to serve on a Klingon ship,
>>as if I recall correctly she wasn't precisely all that enamored of the
>>Empire.
>
>She explains her reasoning fairly well in the scene back in Prelude
>in A Minor wherein she signs up:

And there she is! Thanks, Ben. Now I'm caught up.

(It can be tough to keep track of your cast. :)

>As an aside, Chief of Staff Krattak sort of stole the scene he's in
>for me, because he's sort of the Klingon converse to Maximilian Chin
>XVII - the master bureaucrat and logistician, indispensable to those
>he ostensibly serves, calm, unflappable, always polite... and
>incredibly dangerous within his own native context. (Which
>Chin totally is too, it's just... less obvious.)

Oh man, now I totally want to read about this guy, because I just love that breed of character.

-Merc
Keep Rat

>As an aside, Chief of Staff Krattak sort of stole the scene he's in
>for me, because he's sort of the Klingon converse to Maximilian Chin
>XVII - the master bureaucrat and logistician, indispensable to those
>he ostensibly serves, calm, unflappable, always polite... and
>incredibly dangerous within his own native context. (Which
>Chin totally is too, it's just... less obvious.)
>

OK, sorry to bring this up after so long, but I just noticed it: Who is Maximilian Chin XVII? Google has been very unhelpful, and Wikipedia, likewise.

"They planned their campaigns just as you might make a splendid piece of harness. It looks very well; and answers very well; until it gets broken; and then you are done for. Now I made my campaigns of ropes. If anything went wrong, I tied a knot; and went on."
-- Arthur Wellesley, First Duke of Wellington

Chin is a bureaucrat in Republic City who handled a number of things when the Duelists and company were visiting. He pops over to Air Temple Island a few times. I think Juni runs into him (or one of his programs) in Heritage, as well.

I think Maximilian Chin XVII (and his dynasty) are original to UF rather than an outside reference.

>OK, sorry to bring this up after so long, but I just noticed it: Who
>is Maximilian Chin XVII? Google has been very unhelpful, and
>Wikipedia, likewise.
>

as noted, Chin is an OC, and a perfect example of how if a bureaucrat LIKES you, things become so much easier. OF course, the converse of this is you really really don't want to get him upset at you either.

His first appearance is, appropriately, in the first movement of the Diqiu Suite, when he is instrumental in finishing up paperwork for Serge's arrival in Diqiu with Kate

>>OK, sorry to bring this up after so long, but I just noticed it: Who
>>is Maximilian Chin XVII? Google has been very unhelpful, and
>>Wikipedia, likewise.
>>
>
>as noted, Chin is an OC, and a perfect example of how if a bureaucrat
>LIKES you, things become so much easier. OF course, the converse of
>this is you really really don't want to get him upset at you either.
>
>His first appearance is, appropriately, in the first movement of the
>Diqiu Suite, when he is instrumental in finishing up paperwork for
>Serge's arrival in Diqiu with Kate

This accuses the Honorable Master Chin of favoritism, which would be unprofessional, if it were true. It would be better to say that Maximilian Chin XVII, much like those before him, is the perfect example of a bureaucrat who likes his job, and who understands that the wheels of government must spin freely and cleanly and efficiently in order for things to be done in the best possible time and manner. Ergo, he does everything in an upright, forthright, and efficient fashion, because to do otherwise would be to cause friction and, well, we knows what happens to a machine that experiences undue friction in its mechanisms, yes?

This is not to say that Master Chin does not like the Avatar, or indeed any of her friends from the Big Universe. He clearly does, but even if he did not, all of his bureaucratic duties would be performed with no less efficiency, speed, and appropriateness. He just wouldn't be as pleasant a person to talk to.

Ebony the Black Dragon

"Life is like an anole. Sometimes it's green. Sometimes it's brown. But it's always a small Caribbean lizard."

>Jurdak's scowl became a thing of legend. "Is this Zargh's idea of a joke?" he demanded.
>Krattak smiled thinly. "General Thalekh doesn't -have- an idea of a joke," he replied.

First time I read this, I thought it was just funny at face value. Then when I read it the second time, I remembered who Zargh was, and collapsed.

>If I were putting together a klin zha kinta team it might do for a Swift, but only if we were playing against Ferengi."

Oh boy. B'Elanna's not only a Duelist, but one trained with the bat'leth, from what I recall. That'll be amusing when it finally boils over.

The medic's reaction when he has to reattach the victim's arm, given what I know about Klingons, would probably be "You shouldn't have been so khesting stupid in the first place."

>
>The medic's reaction when he has to reattach the victim's arm, given
>what I know about Klingons, would probably be "You shouldn't have been
>so khesting stupid in the first place."
>

She'll probably avoid dismemberment. B'Elanna did promise not to kill too many of them.

Peter Eng
--
Ad'jur Duras woke up, attempted to sit up, and tried to remember what happened.