... the new characters in Street Fighter IV aren't really doin' it for me. El Fuerte is cool, 'cause luchadores are always cool. But the others? I mean, speaking as the fat white guy from the shitkicker town who likes kung fu movies, I'm actually a little... I don't want to say "offended", that would be overselling it, but... a little hurt by that guy. The blue dude with the yin-yang in his stomach just looks like a particularly bizarre feng shui crash test dummy. ("Today on Mythbusters: Can Grant build a robot that can analyze and mimic the techniques of established martial artists?") Might work for Darkstalkers; doesn't really float my boat for Street Fighter. And then there's the woman in the expensive-hooker version of the suit from Jackie Chan's The Tuxedo, I mean, what? Really? Go put on a proper shirt, woman. And stop cheating.

OK, there's nothing too objectionable about the French guy. He's also not that interesting, but at least he doesn't make me facepalm like Rufus or Crimson Viper, or scratch my head in what-were-they-thinking like Crash Test Dummy Guy.

Who am I missing? Oh, the crazy Korean woman. She's not actually available in the version I have. Probably unlocked by beating the game with somebody I can't beat the game with. That's usually how these things work. Nothing I've read about her is that encouraging, though. She comes off in the Street Fighter Encyclopedia like a female version of Bolo Yeung's character from Bloodsport. Snappin' people's necks with the Crazy Eyes and then being annoyed when the audience doesn't get off on it.

I dunno. I'm probably just old, but I don't really get it with these newbies. :)

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Admin
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

It's probably not that you're just old, or that it's just you, 'cause I don't really get it either. I'm not really sure what they were trying to accomplish with some of those. Though C. Viper kinda looks like they were trying to do SNK--and missed. And the French guy kinda reminds me, in design, of those Final Fight characters they had in the Alpha games, for some reason.

Also, "El Fuerte IRL".

I kinda get C. Viper, but I think the woman could stand to get a proper hairstyle (the beehive really went out a long time ago. I dunno why she and Bayonetta seem to think it's still in style). Beyond that, in a fighting tournament full of people throwing around fireballs and lightning and all that, a few techy gadgets from a secret agent type seem relatively benign (especially after getting skewered by Vega's claw for the umpteenth time).

And from the newcomers, there *is* Abel, who....basically is Cammy, except as a guy, so his decency kinda gets overlooked in that case.

I dunno if one should count Gouken as a newcomer or not, though, given he's the latest Ken/Ryu copy/tweak/paste, but I suppose he kinda deserves a mention.

But yeah, it's kinda sad that the last pure newcomer to the franchise I thought was pretty awesome was Sakura back in the Alpha series.

>(the beehive really went out a long time ago. I dunno
>why she and Bayonetta seem to think it's still in style)

Sorry, that's probably my people's fault. Amy 'Winehouse' Wino was rather more popular in America - I'm given to understand, anyway, if this is not the case then mea culpa - and since she sports that crackwhore!Dusty Springfield hairstyle that means people put people with hair like that in to be down with the kids. And it's even invented the people who make the Street Fighter games.

Besides, Bayonetta is really just a witchy, gun-toting version of Sarah Palin in regards to looks. So, Sarah Palin, then.

---
"Together we will build an empire of a million shining suns." -- Dave, Dictator of Utopia.

Seriously, why do people think she's a sex symbol? She's insane.

>I dunno if one should count Gouken as a newcomer or not, though, given
>he's the latest Ken/Ryu copy/tweak/paste, but I suppose he kinda
>deserves a mention.

Gouken's actually a pretty clever variation on the moveset, I think. Visually, they put a lot of thought into it. He does things like throwing the Hadouken one handed, which plays into the idea he's the experienced old master compared to all these young punks, even if gameplay-wise he isn't any more powerful. The way his moves actually work, he's also more suited to technical gameplay, for interception, counterattacking, that sorta thing, which is a nice example of design intersecting with characterisation. Form and function, as it were.

Of course, from what I can gather, what Capcom's saying is that...Gouken's been alive all this while, he just let Ryu and Ken think he was dead. Which makes him kinda a dick.

I like to think he's been rooming with Charlie, and the two of 'em are on a couch somewhere drinking beers and playing KoF on the PS3.

"Hey Charlie, you gonna call your buddy today?"
"Mm...I dunno, have you phoned your students yet?"
"Meh, tomorrow."
"Yeah."

I think I agree, my issue with the newer characters are really that they seem to either be overblown bad guys, or from something fairly silly. I mean, I don't mind El Fuerte, but Rufus is... well, Rufus.

Crazy Korean woman is Juri, and you probably can't get her because she only shows up in Super Street Figher IV, though she's normally selectable there. There's also Hakan (Now we're street fighting with OIL! - seriously, he's apparently covered with cooking oil.)

>There's also Hakan (Now we're street fighting with
>OIL! - seriously, he's apparently covered with cooking oil.)

Oil-man v. Dhalsim would be hilarious. Even if Hakan wins he ends up a little crispy.

>There's also Hakan (Now we're street fighting with
>OIL! - seriously, he's apparently covered with cooking oil.)

Well, yeah, he's a Turkish oil wrestler, which, well, points to Capcom for Trying New Things there. I tend to suspect that's a style that wouldn't actually work very well in a dissimilar-combat scenario, since most of the strategy involves trying to get a good grip on the other guy's pants (no, seriously), but you have to admit it's a bold choice for expanding the worldwide scope of where the fighters come from. Kentucky Fried Kung Fu Fanboy, er, not so much.

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Admin
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

I have to agree with you on both counts there. From what I'm reading, Turkish oil wrestling is far more of a sport than any kind of martial art. It's feels a little bit like someone attempting to use Tae-bo in a fight (Not a completely fair comparison, but still....).

(Although, now the image of Hakan Pantsing someone in the middle of a street fight is refusing to leave my mind).

>(Although, now the image of Hakan Pantsing someone in the middle of a
>street fight is refusing to leave my mind).

Hmmm, the image I get comes from the fact that I read the Journal Entries stories by Elf Sternberg. When I hear "oil wrestling" I think of the Hex from Castle Rhysh.

Sbe gubfr jubfr zvaqf nera'g qvegl rabhtu: Vg'f znyr-bayl jerfgyvat jurer lbh jva ol, jryy vg vf sebz gur OQFZ pragevp cneg bs Craqbe fb lbh fubhyq or noyr gb svther vg bhg.

To be fair to Hakan, he's completely and utterly bonkers, clearly just played for laughs. I mean. He's a giant red man with teal hair covered in oil. And he's just so HAPPY. All the time!

It's hard to get upset about a guy who is so continually upbeat.

I'm enjoying the hell out of the gameplay, mostly because of deja vu and nostalgia, I'll bet. It's even got the "Haha you suck!" moment, starting at Fight 4 where suddenly the difficulty gets dialed up to 11 and the computer becomes a cheating bastard.

Street Fighter has *always* had that.

But as far as new characters go... I rather like C. Viper (if she'd only lose the absurd hairstyle), though only from a mechanics perspective. Well, and looks, if I'm being honest. Abel pisses me off at the moment but I suspect I'll come to like him once I figure out how to play him properly. If his treatment of me when he's controlled by the CPU is any indication, he's a cheap-ass mofo with a throw range and priority that puts Zangief to shame. And I laugh my ass off every time El Feurte appears, but ... well, he seems to be the comic relief.

What I dislike the most is what the art shift has done to the existing characters. Ryu and Ken are supposed to be beefcake manly men, okay, I get that, but good god, they're not sporting six-packs, they're sporting the 7-11 beer cooler. And what. the fuck. is wrong with Chun-Li's head?

I mean, they're not horribly disfigured, but they're *wrong* all the same.

--sofaspud
--

> And then there's the woman in the
>expensive-hooker version of the suit from Jackie Chan's The
>Tuxedo, I mean, what? Really? Go put on a proper shirt, woman.
>And stop cheating.

This has to be the single funniest summary of a SF character I've heard. Thanks for the funny mental image.

Must vent. Bizarre feng shui crash test dummy guy is a _cheating bastard_.

And also, the text for winning with Sakura over Sagat is _hilarious_.