I don't get or intend to pimp subscriptions to HBO, so here is the official YouTube channel for Last Week Tonight, hosted by Daily Show alum John Oliver. Fine, fine stuff.

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

His bit on Australia's latest Prime Minister is incredible and pretty much essential viewing for explaining our current substandard of politics to foreigners.

http://youtu.be/c3IaKVmkXuk

>His bit on Australia's latest Prime Minister is incredible and pretty
>much essential viewing for explaining our current substandard of
>politics to foreigners.
>
>http://youtu.be/c3IaKVmkXuk

It's like both Australia and Canada closely observed the career of Mr. Bush the Younger and thought, "We could do something like that."

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

Yyyyyup. Don't forget the UK as well.

I love that Paul Keating quote. But then, I just kind of love Paul Keating. He literally wandered in out of a sketch and it's brilliant. If you can, check out "Among The Barbarians". It's about Australian politics, and the bon mots of Mr. Keating feature heavily.

You can also find them at the Paul Keating Insult Archive, which I have been perusing for far too long and howling like a goose. =]

---
"She's old, she's lame, she's barren too, // "She's not worth feed or hay, // "But I'll give her this," - he blew smoke at me - // "She was something in her day." -- Garnet Rogers, Small Victory

FiMFiction.net: we might accept blatant porn involving the cast of My Little Pony but as God is my witness we have standards.

"He is the greatest job and investment destroyer since the bubonic plague!"
-- Keating on John Howard.

LAST EDITED ON Jun-23-15 AT 05:24 PM (EDT)
 
>I love that Paul Keating quote. But then, I just kind of love Paul
>Keating. He literally wandered in out of a sketch and it's brilliant.
>If you can, check out "Among The Barbarians". It's about Australian
>politics, and the bon mots of Mr. Keating feature heavily.

His gift for invective reminds me of my favorite of many great lines in Good Morning, Vietnam (paraphrased from memory):

"'Hauck sucks the sweat from a dead man's balls.' Now, I don't even know what that means, sir, but it seems very negative to me."

Politics in general has too few Captain Haddock figures. Governor LePage of Maine tries, bless his tiny, coal-wizened heart, but he's too stupid to do it properly, so it always ends up coming across all grade-school-bully. "Oh yeah, well so's your mom."

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

"But it's okay, because you sent in Ollie! Fucking Ollie! He's a... he's a knitted scarf!"
-- Malcolm Tucker, The Thick Of It

Over here, we had Dennis Skinner, aka. The Beast Of Bolsover, who said "half the Tory party members are crooks", and, upon being told to withdraw such a spurious allegation, said "Okay, half the Tory party members aren't crooks". Also a good, solid socialist in a party somehow managing to pretend he's not just there to give Jeremy Corbyn someone to talk to about the popular struggle. Oh, and shout at Black Rod. =]

---
"She's old, she's lame, she's barren too, // "She's not worth feed or hay, // "But I'll give her this," - he blew smoke at me - // "She was something in her day." -- Garnet Rogers, Small Victory

FiMFiction.net: we might accept blatant porn involving the cast of My Little Pony but as God is my witness we have standards.

>Over here, we had Dennis Skinner, aka. The Beast Of Bolsover, who said
>"half the Tory party members are crooks", and, upon being told to
>withdraw such a spurious allegation, said "Okay, half the Tory party
>members aren't crooks".

I can't remember who it was, now, but I remember reading once about a British politician who remarked, "There are a great many shining wits in Parliament, as I believe the Reverend Spooner would have put it." That's been my benchmark for higher-brow political OH SNAP ever since I read it.

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

I... can't find a source for that one. Not that I doubt you, or the pitch-perfect brutality of the put-down, but you'd expect a quote like that to show up after a bit of digging. Which is a bit odd. My Google-fu's normally a little bit better than this. =Small Victory

FiMFiction.net: we might accept blatant porn involving the cast of My Little Pony but as God is my witness we have standards.

Though I did find a story about a TV presenter talking about a "hypodeemic nerdle", which sort of made up for it.

>I... can't find a source for that one. Not that I doubt you, or the
>pitch-perfect brutality of the put-down, but you'd expect a quote like
>that to show up after a bit of digging.

Oh, it's entirely possible that either the article I read was apocryphal, or my memory is completely making it up. It was years ago if it happened at all, and human memory has no basis in physical reality. All we can really say for sure is that we feel like it happened, which is scientifically meaningless. :)

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

Well, that got a bit metaphysical. I approve. Cater to my desire to feel smart some more, Gryphon. Be my dancing monkey in a professor outfit. =]

You can't unimagine it now.

But seriously though, it's probably apocryphal, since the closest thing I could find was references to it from a nameless Californian radio DJ and a Jasper Carrot routine in which his mother called him it. But hey, that doesn't make it not a great line. =]

---
"She's old, she's lame, she's barren too, // "She's not worth feed or hay, // "But I'll give her this," - he blew smoke at me - // "She was something in her day." -- Garnet Rogers, Small Victory

FiMFiction.net: we might accept blatant porn involving the cast of My Little Pony but as God is my witness we have standards.

Purchase your Professor Outfit Dancing Monkey now and get free Mortar Board Cymbals for it to clash together as it insidiously enters every hideous moment of your nightmare-riven sleep. Terms and conditions apply. Offer void in any state or territory containing the letter V.

I was amused by the "Why Is This Still a Thing?" about the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue.

Ebony the Black Dragon

"Life is like an anole. Sometimes it's green. Sometimes it's brown. But it's always a small Caribbean lizard."

LAST EDITED ON Jun-22-15 AT 12:33 PM (EDT)
 
>I was amused by the "Why Is This Still a Thing?" about the Sports
>Illustrated Swimsuit Issue.

I love Why Is This Still a Thing?, but my favorite one so far is "Columbus Day", for personal reasons. My right-wing mother gets riled up easily by things like pointing out what an overhyped shitheel Columbus was (and mythic-American-history debunking in general), and that segment is like it was tailor-made to taunt her. :)

(Also the Ayn Rand one, but I haven't gone there because I don't even want to start that shit with her. Just to give you a taste of what a treat it is to discuss such matters with Mom, she would agree with Rand in the clip where she dismisses Native American grievances on the grounds that they didn't have a real civilization before white folks came, anyway.)

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

>(Also the Ayn Rand one, but I haven't gone there because I don't even
> Just to give you a taste of what a treat it is to discuss such matters with
> Mom, she would agree with Rand in the clip where she dismisses Native
> American grievances on the grounds that they didn't have a real civilization
> before white folks came, anyway.)

While I've certainly never gone that far, I do get tired of the 'noble savage' line shoved down my throat throughout school - "The Indians" were a whole mess of different groups and divisions and different ways, and they were - ha! - as Quitayne as they come, to steal an Eyrie line from ancient history (and probably misspell it)

>and they were - ha! - as Quitayne as they come, to steal an
>Eyrie line from ancient history (and probably misspell it)

It isn't a proper noun, but apart from that, I believe you have it right.

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

New yesterday: "The Internet: A Dark Carnival of Humanity's Most Wretched Impulses", which - like much of Oliver's best work, I have to concede - I feel kind of bad about finding as funny as it is.

--G.
"OK. OK. OK. I'm now pretty sure that 'kayaking buddies' is a euphemism."
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

An excellent summary of the situation, concise, informative, and entertaining. Unfortunately, because of it, I shall now and ever after think of John Oliver as a puffin. Possibly with spider hands.

Ebony the Black Dragon

"Life is like an anole. Sometimes it's green. Sometimes it's brown. But it's always a small Caribbean lizard."

>An excellent summary of the situation, concise, informative, and
>entertaining. Unfortunately, because of it, I shall now and ever after
>think of John Oliver as a puffin. Possibly with spider hands.

"... Which is ridiculous, because OH GOD! GET THEM OFF ME!!"

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.