Very nice - I really liked "Mr. Midshipman Tenjou: For the Good of the Service", it's a very Utena-ish thing to do. But I found the early breaks in the story without any real visual break to be rather difficult to follow. May I request a minor formatting change to make it a little clearer (such as an extra blank line)?

Other than that, jolly good show!

Offsides

[...] in order to be a realist you must believe in miracles.
-- David Ben Gurion
EPU RCW &#pi;
#include <stdsig.h>

>But I found the early
>breaks in the story without any real visual break to be rather
>difficult to follow.

That was what the unpunctuated italic lines were for (lest you think I hadn't thought of it at all), but I'll take it under advisement.

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Admin
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

Highly enjoyable!

I am guessing the interjections are the result of Utena reading (or watching?) a dramatized version of her escapade with some, shall we say, minor embellishments on what actually happened.

LAST EDITED ON Aug-27-09 AT 04:31 PM (EDT)
 
>I am guessing the interjections are the result of Utena reading (or
>watching?) a dramatized version of her escapade with some, shall we
>say, minor embellishments on what actually happened.

I got the impression that the first part of the story was a flashback, up to the point where Utena got clocked in the head. Note that the italicized comments--and conflicting realities--stop when she regains consciousness.

And I agree, _highly_ enjoyable.

Oh, and picturing Gryphon in the style of Akio? I'll bet that hurt Utena's head nearly as much as the blunt trauma... :)

>>I am guessing the interjections are the result of Utena reading (or
>>watching?) a dramatized version of her escapade with some, shall we
>>say, minor embellishments on what actually happened.
>
>I got the impression that the first part of the story was a flashback,
>up to the point where Utena got clocked in the head. Note that the
>italicized comments--and conflicting realities--stop when she regains
>consciousness.
>
>And I agree, _highly_ enjoyable.
>
>Oh, and picturing Gryphon in the style of Akio? I'll bet that hurt
>Utena's head nearly as much as the blunt trauma... :)

those points threw me for a while the first time through, till I realised that the italics were Utena thinking to herself.

But let me point out something to you. In addition to being flashbacks, we're looking at Utena's dreams/halucinations as she works her way back to conciousness after having gotten clocked by the spanner. Hence the freaky wierd background imagery straight out of a RGU episode going on behind the actual action.

Actually, thats not what caught my attention during the whole piece, it was only a touch of a bwaaa? Well, it'll make sense down the road.

What got me, and my hats off to you is AbleSpacer Tetch. It took a while for my brain's index function to pull the match... and my hats off to you G.

Now, if you all will excuse me, I have a section of my subconcious to have flogged around the fleet for a sniggering bevis and butthead comment it made about Tech attaching himself to her as the pilot of the Cap'ns Gig.

>>>I am guessing the interjections are the result of Utena reading (or
>>>watching?) a dramatized version of her escapade with some, shall we
>>>say, minor embellishments on what actually happened.
>>
>>I got the impression that the first part of the story was a flashback,
>>up to the point where Utena got clocked in the head. Note that the
>>italicized comments--and conflicting realities--stop when she regains
>>consciousness.
>>
>>And I agree, _highly_ enjoyable.
>>
>>Oh, and picturing Gryphon in the style of Akio? I'll bet that hurt
>>Utena's head nearly as much as the blunt trauma... :)
>
>those points threw me for a while the first time through, till I
>realised that the italics were Utena thinking to herself.
>
>But let me point out something to you. In addition to being
>flashbacks, we're looking at Utena's dreams/halucinations as she
>works her way back to conciousness after having gotten clocked by the
>spanner. Hence the freaky wierd background imagery straight out of a
>RGU episode going on behind the actual action.
>
Having just re-read it, I realized that was what must've been happening - but it wasn't until I knew where it was going that I realized where it was coming from :)

A thoroughly enjoyable (re-)read!

Offsides

[...] in order to be a realist you must believe in miracles.
-- David Ben Gurion
EPU RCW #π
#include <stdsig.h>

That was awesome, no ifs ands or buts, and refers to the omnibus as a whole as well as the new material. Getting reminded of some of the previous stories, particularly Honor of Mars and Duet for Robots, was a nice treat.

But I have to wonder, just how much badass -can- you cram into one person? :)

The inclusion of Blackbeard was certainly interesting. I guess she'll be taking him with her, when she comes back to the IPSF?

“They planned their campaigns just as you might make a splendid piece of harness. It looks very well; and answers very well; until it gets broken; and then you are done for. Now I made my campaigns of ropes. If anything went wrong, I tied a knot; and went on.”
-- Arthur Wellesley, First Duke of Wellington

>Blackbeard
You know, I'm glad I have you all here to point these kind of things out to me, because that went right over my head. Looks like I'm going to have to go back to my old habit of googling every single name.

>"I'm her captain, not Kanaia," Kerwin said, shaking his head. "If she has been killed in action, it's my responsibility to inform Her Majesty. And Mr. Tenjou's father. And her husband... and her wife... and her daughter."
Gah, you're killing me here! Ya really are! Oh well, I've waited this long, another while won't hurt TO bad.

I assume that her sword was the Heart of the Rose here? Shame, I wanted to see her with a Lightsaber again...

>I assume that her sword was the Heart of the Rose here? Shame, I
>wanted to see her with a Lightsaber again...

No, she "belted {the Klingon} across the face with her sword's plain steel-disc pommel"--that describes neither the Heart nor the Thorn of the Rose.

My guess is that she's wearing a standard-issue officer's weapon, and that at some point she's (consciously or not) picked up on the Blade of the Inviolate Soul technique while training with Gryphon or Kate.

Using that, she could probably parry a lightsaber with a broom-handle... :)

LAST EDITED ON Aug-28-09 AT 08:26 AM (EDT)
 
>I assume that her sword was the Heart of the Rose here? Shame, I
>wanted to see her with a Lightsaber again...

I think it might be the sword Corwin gave her in Clarion Call. (did it have a name?)

Jeanne

	Jeanne Hedge http://www.jhedge.com
"Believe me, if I have to go the rest of my life without companionship, knowing myself won't be a problem." -- Gabrielle of Potadeia

Given the description and the chunks it was taking out of "one of the finest bat'leth money could buy," I'd concur with this.

LAST EDITED ON Aug-28-09 AT 02:23 PM (EDT)
 
>I think it might be the sword Corwin gave her in Clarion Call.
>(did it have a name?)
>
Indeed it does, being one of the 'first three'... But I'm blanking on what that name is as well. Heh. like I NEED an excuse to go back and read Clarion..

After a quick skim

        "This sword," he said, "is one of three made by Ivaldi the
Ancient, most legendary smith in all the Heavens, for the three sons of
Borr: Odin, Vili, and Ve.  This one belonged to Vili the Strong until
his death aeons ago in the Great Battle of Vallgatr.  Since then she has
passed through many hands and been known by many names.

It does have a name, in fact it has MANY names. Its just that they're all not germain to the story... yet.

>It does have a name, in fact it has MANY names. Its just that they're
>all not germain to the story... yet.

Hmm. I'm tempted to post a link to TVTropes in reply to the 'MANY names' thing (they do have an article for it), but TVTropes will ruin your life.

“They planned their campaigns just as you might make a splendid piece of harness. It looks very well; and answers very well; until it gets broken; and then you are done for. Now I made my campaigns of ropes. If anything went wrong, I tied a knot; and went on.”
-- Arthur Wellesley, First Duke of Wellington

Nice, especially Mr Midshipman Tenjou. Weird timing, too - ABC just started showing reruns of the Hornblower TV movies last week.

(yes, it's an older thread, but it's the correct subject)

I recently read the The Art of Noise (from Omnibus 4) under unique (for me) circumstances - with Don't Stop Believin', performed with a female lead singer, playing at the appropriate time.

It's sometimes hard for me to tell how well story events (or even thoughts and musings) that have a musical component (musical choreography?) fit together when it's all text description and the music is coming from memory. Now that I've read it with the correct soundtrack I can say things fit perfectly here. Very well done.

Jeanne

	Jeanne Hedge http://www.jhedge.com
"Believe me, if I have to go the rest of my life without companionship, knowing myself won't be a problem." -- Gabrielle of Potadeia