I had a random idea pop into my head (the idea being the collected Thicker Than Water presented in 80's movie poster fashion as "The Scarlet Sisters: They'll Steal Your Blood... ...and Your Heart!") that I cast about the Internet seeking an appropriate pre-existing image to mock it up with, but that was derailed when I crossed paths with this image: https://i.imgur.com/9piT9Bk.jpg?x

Granted it is kind of adorable, but incongruous enough to segfault the brain for a bit. The sort of thing that one just feels compelled to spread.

	-={(Astynax)}=- "Did you know r/loliswithguns was a thing? Now you do."

LAST EDITED ON Sep-17-20 AT 10:49 AM (EDT)
 
>I had a random idea pop into my head (the idea being the collected
>Thicker Than Water presented in 80's movie poster fashion as "The
>Scarlet Sisters: They'll Steal Your Blood... ...and Your Heart!") that
>I cast about the Internet seeking an appropriate pre-existing image to
>mock it up with, but that was derailed when I crossed paths with this
>image: https://i.imgur.com/9piT9Bk.jpg?x

Heh, I saw that a few days ago on DB. I assume from Remi's hat that it's a Holmes-and-Watson thing, although the gun is too modern. (I know there's that modern-day Holmes series, but Holmes doesn't wear that hat in it, as far as I know.)

Someone also made a Touhou mod for Grand Theft Auto (I assume San Andreas, since the pics are too old for it to be V/Online), so there's a fair number of "Touhou characters with guns in modern clothes" pics floating around derived from that.

>"Did you know r/loliswithguns was a thing? Now you do."

Well, of course it is, this is the Internet we're talking about. :)

Also, to be fair, Remi only stole a little tiny bit, and Flan had to be practically forced to take it (although at that point she did take, uh, basically all of it*).

--G.
* "My... my blood! She punched out all of my blood!"**

* Please enjoy all of the mental images of Flan as the Heavy now, especially the one where Patchy uses her ill-advised new invention to make her temporarily even more of an unstoppable killing machine. "Now? Let's go practice alchemy."***

*** <Meiling> You would not BELIEVE! How much this hurts.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
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Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

>
>Heh, I saw that a few days ago on DB. I assume from Remi's hat that
>it's a Holmes-and-Watson thing, although the gun is too modern. (I
>know there's that modern-day Holmes series, but Holmes doesn't wear
>that hat in it, as far as I know.)
>

It occurred to me that such a picture could result from the contents of a second supply drop from G to himself on the next full moon, though I lack the firearms knowledge to know if anything remotely like the picture gun was available in the mid 40s, and honestly would have to assume that the inclusion of the gun and the hats had to be one or more of the witches spicing up the supply run for various reasons.

>Someone also made a Touhou mod for Grand Theft Auto (I assume
>San Andreas, since the pics are too old for it to be V/Online),
>so there's a fair number of "Touhou characters with guns in modern
>clothes" pics floating around derived from that.
>

Wouldn't that be a reduction in firepower for most of them?

> Also, to be fair, Remi only stole a little tiny bit, and Flan had to be
> practically forced to take it (although at that point she did take, uh,
> basically all of it*).

I knew it was somewhat unfair taken literally (I expect Remilia would be on her dignity fairly instantly at the suggestion that she would ever -steal- blood) but it wouldn't be a movie tagline in the 80s mold if it weren't mildly misleading.

	-={(Astynax)}=- "Wouldn't it be easier to blast them with your normal attacks?" "Yeah, but I wanted to give them a sporting chance this time."

>>Heh, I saw that a few days ago on DB. I assume from Remi's hat that
>>it's a Holmes-and-Watson thing, although the gun is too modern. (I
>>know there's that modern-day Holmes series, but Holmes doesn't wear
>>that hat in it, as far as I know.)
>>
>It occurred to me that such a picture could result from the contents
>of a second supply drop from G to himself on the next full moon,
>though I lack the firearms knowledge to know if anything remotely like
>the picture gun was available in the mid 40s

It's hard to tell from that extreme angle, but it looks like it could be a Browning Hi-Power/FN GP 35 (or at least based on one), which would totally be period-correct (although it looks like this one is in stainless steel, which is not—it might be nickel-plated, though, which would be).

He actually has a service pistol at the SDM already, a Liberion Army M1911A1. He had it with him on his shopping trip to Colmar, and it's been hanging on the back of a chair by the fireplace in Remi's bedroom ever since. Total Chekhov's Gun violation. :)

>and honestly would have
>to assume that the inclusion of the gun and the hats had to be one or
>more of the witches spicing up the supply run for various reasons.

You know who would look completely ginchy in the hat Flan's wearing there? Sakuya. Especially in her "butler in the streets, maid in the sheets" outfit? Tellin' you.

>>Someone also made a Touhou mod for Grand Theft Auto (I assume
>>San Andreas, since the pics are too old for it to be V/Online),
>>so there's a fair number of "Touhou characters with guns in modern
>>clothes" pics floating around derived from that.
>
>Wouldn't that be a reduction in firepower for most of them?

Sure, but I imagine it cuts down on the collateral damage, except when Remi discovers the deeply satisfying magic of the sticky bomb.

>> Also, to be fair, Remi only stole a little tiny bit, and Flan had to be
>> practically forced to take it (although at that point she did take, uh,
>> basically all of it*).
>
>I knew it was somewhat unfair taken literally (I expect Remilia would
>be on her dignity fairly instantly at the suggestion that she would
>ever -steal- blood) but it wouldn't be a movie tagline in the 80s mold
>if it weren't mildly misleading.

True.

--G.
<Flan> AHAHAHAHAHA! CRY SOME MORE! Cry some more."
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LAST EDITED ON Sep-17-20 AT 12:07 PM (EDT)
 
>It's hard to tell from that extreme angle, but it looks like it could
>be a Browning Hi-Power/FN GP 35 (or at least based on one), which
>would totally be period-correct (although it looks like this one is in
>stainless steel, which is not—it might be nickel-plated, though,
>which would be).
>

So the picture is at least vaguely possible, if unlikely, in universe. Somehow that makes it less boggle-inducing, my suspension of disbelief is very... odd.

>He actually has a service pistol at the SDM already, a Liberion
>Army M1911A1. He had it with him on his shopping trip to Colmar, and
>it's been hanging on the back of a chair by the fireplace in Remi's
>bedroom ever since. Total Chekhov's Gun violation. :)
>

Well honestly, there's been nothing in the mansion or on the grounds that G would want to shoot and/or do more than make angrier by shooting at them. Never bring a semi-auto to a danmaku fight and all that.

>
>You know who would look completely ginchy in the hat Flan's wearing
>there? Sakuya. Especially in her "butler in the streets, maid in the
>sheets" outfit? Tellin' you.
>

That outfit would be something roughly like this I expect: https://i.imgur.com/IZmjcou.jpg?x

Also damn all the figurines for being so pricey. The detail is top notch (you can count watch chain links) but the page I swiped that image from listed the associated art object at $210.

><Flan> AHAHAHAHAHA! CRY SOME MORE! Cry some
>more."

OK, who gave Flan 'Old Painless' from Predator?

	-={(Astynax)}=- "Full Auto Landscaping: Manicured Lawns via Excessive Firepower."

LAST EDITED ON Sep-17-20 AT 12:13 PM (EDT)
 
>So the picture is at least vaguely possible, if unlikely, in universe.
>Somehow that makes it less boggle-inducing, my suspension of disbelief
>is very... odd.

Under certain circumstances, I could see Flan using a pistol, as a prop more than an actual weapon. It's like the guy who shows you the ropes in the tutorial level of Vampire the Masquerade: Bloodlines says. Paraphrasing from memory, "It won't do squat against one of us, but in this town, you gotta convey the right image, and that means comin' strapped."

>Well honestly, there's been nothing in the mansion or on the grounds
>that G would want to shoot and/or do more than make angrier by
>shooting at them. Never bring a semi-auto to a danmaku fight and all
>that.

Yeah, I mean, it could have been useful in the big fight with Flan, in a limited and specific way. He could have bought himself a very handy second or two here and there by shooting her in the right places at the right times, even with a mundane firearm. But he's funny about that kind of thing. Even with all his training and experience, he's still a twentieth-century man at heart, and even though he knows she'd regenerate completely in seconds and suffer no lasting harm at all, he has a powerful aversion to shooting a girl in the eye, or the spine—or anywhere really, but especially really critical places that would kill or instantly and permanently disable a normal person. Particularly one he's so personally attached to.

>>You know who would look completely ginchy in the hat Flan's wearing
>>there? Sakuya. Especially in her "butler in the streets, maid in the
>>sheets" outfit? Tellin' you.
>
>That'd be something roughly like this I expect:
>https://i.imgur.com/IZmjcou.jpg?x

That's good too, but not quite what I had in mind. I can't find it now, but there was a specific pic on DB I based that outfit on. She basically looks like a blackjack dealer from the waist up (men's dress shirt with ribbon tie, tailored waistcoat, those elastic band things on her upper sleeves and her usual self from the waist down (bell skirt with frilly petticoat, waist apron, Mary Janes with no socks or tights). Mm-mm-mm. Tellin' you.

>Also damn all the figurines for being so pricey. The detail is top
>notch (you can count watch chain links) but the page I swiped that
>image from listed the associated art object at $210.

I know, right? Like I mentioned in the annotations, the black version of the "super fancy Remi" figurine is like 500 bucks. My car payment is like 500 bucks.

>"Full Auto Landscaping: Manicured Lawns via Excessive
>Firepower."

Image: Crazy Mode Flan as the greenskeeper from Caddyshack.

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
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Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

>
>>"Full Auto Landscaping: Manicured Lawns via Excessive
>>Firepower."
>
>Image: Crazy Mode Flan as the greenskeeper from Caddyshack.
>
Yup. That's brain seg-fault inducing... except that I could totally see it... the only difference being Flan using bullet heck instead of C4 in the climatic scene.

LAST EDITED ON Sep-17-20 AT 03:16 PM (EDT)
 
>Yup. That's brain seg-fault inducing... except that I could totally
>see it... the only difference being Flan using bullet heck instead of
>C4 in the climatic scene.

Canonically, she owns Lævatein, the sword (or in some kennings of the sagas, staff or wand) of Loki, which is prophesied to be the weapon Surtr wields to end the world in fire at the climax of the Ragnarök. How someone who has been locked in a basement her whole life came to possess such a relic is not, as is typical of Touhou, explained. Some fanon interpretations hold that this explains why she's mad in the first place, because she holds what is essentially a relic of ultimate chaos. Or it holds her. It's hard to tell with relics at that level.

I submit that this would be a more suitable weapon for gopher endgame than mere danmaku, which she'll probably have been trying all along.

(Mind you, she also canonically possesses the power to just arbitrarly destroy anything instantly as the whim takes her, which is... not a balanceable ability, really, so I left it the hell out of Gallian Gothic. :)

--G.
-><-
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Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

>Canonically, she owns Lævatein, the sword (or in some kennings of the
>sagas, staff or wand) of Loki, which is prophesied to be the weapon
>Surtr wields to end the world in fire at the climax of the Ragnarök.
>How someone who has been locked in a basement her whole life came to
>possess such a relic is not, as is typical of Touhou, explained. Some
>fanon interpretations hold that this explains why she's mad in the
>first place, because she holds what is essentially a relic of ultimate
>chaos. Or it holds her. It's hard to tell with relics at that level.
>

It's for the best that she forgot about/didn't think to grab/does not own said item for the big fight scene.

>I submit that this would be a more suitable weapon for gopher endgame
>than mere danmaku, which she'll probably have been trying all
>along.
>

There really won't be much left of that golf course, but I doubt management would have the courage to try to fire her.

>(Mind you, she also canonically possesses the power to just arbitrarly
>destroy anything instantly as the whim takes her, which is... not a
>balanceable ability, really, so I left it the hell out of Gallian
>Gothic. :)
>

So she's an adorable Lord Beerus who thirsts for blood rather than hungers for Earth cuisine. Gotta be honest, I'm not sure how the Touhou universe hasn't been destroyed in that case.

	-={(Astynax)}=- "Try not to die!" Hakai! "Oh, you lose."

Simple. Yakumo Yukari. Her whole schtick is controlling the boundaries between various things - even things people wouldn't consider as a boundary that can controlled - say, the boundaries between genders for example.

Basically, if you can attach a noun to anything, be it tangible or intangible, she can control it's boundaries.

>Simple. Yakumo Yukari. Her whole schtick is controlling the
>boundaries between various things - even things people wouldn't
>consider as a boundary that can controlled - say, the boundaries
>between genders for example.

I think we've seen plenty of evidence in recent years that that particular boundary is pretty controllable. Just... slowly, and complicatedly.

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
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Now we're veering into power levels that make the Q civil war seem like a slap fight and everything becomes faintly ridiculous.

	-={(Astynax)}=- "On second thought, let's not explore Touhou too deeply, 'tis a silly place."

>Now we're veering into power levels that make the Q civil war seem
>like a slap fight and everything becomes faintly ridiculous.

I would imagine that Q and Yukari have a friendly non-hostility pact with each other. Every other century or so, they get together for a friendly game of six-dimensional chess. :)

LAST EDITED ON Sep-17-20 AT 03:48 PM (EDT)
 
>>Canonically, she owns Lævatein, the sword (or in some kennings of the
>>sagas, staff or wand) of Loki, which is prophesied to be the weapon
>>Surtr wields to end the world in fire at the climax of the Ragnarök.
>
>It's for the best that she forgot about/didn't think to grab/does not
>own said item for the big fight scene.

I am currently operating under the assumption that she doesn't have it, although it might be somewhere in the house, collected by their father sometime before they were born and never discovered by the sisters.

Remember in Act VII when Remilia said the Old Gods were dead in that world, but she didn't know whether they had died out for lack of worshippers ("Who Mourns for Adonais?"-style) or been killed by the monsters that had threatened to overrun the world in the Middle Ages?

There is a third possibility, which is that they were killed as monsters by the witches and supernatural allies of ages past. "No gods, no masters" and all that. At that point, Lævatein and Spear the Gungnir take on something of a flavor of... hunting trophies.

Remilia is smart enough for that thought to have occurred to her, but I doubt she's comfortable looking directly at it. It would be at odds with her mental record of her father (though it would have happened long, long before she was born). I'm not even saying it's definitely what happened. But... it could be.

>>I submit that this would be a more suitable weapon for gopher endgame
>>than mere danmaku, which she'll probably have been trying all
>>along.
>
>There really won't be much left of that golf course, but I doubt
>management would have the courage to try to fire her.

Grass grows back!

... Topsoil and that bit of the continental plate not so much, admittedly, but a volcanic hotspot can be a great tourist attraction!

>>(Mind you, she also canonically possesses the power to just arbitrarly
>>destroy anything instantly as the whim takes her, which is... not a
>>balanceable ability, really, so I left it the hell out of Gallian
>>Gothic. :)
>
>So she's an adorable Lord Beerus who thirsts for blood rather than
>hungers for Earth cuisine. Gotta be honest, I'm not sure how the
>Touhou universe hasn't been destroyed in that case.

Well, she can only do it to one thing at a time, and she bores easily, so... there's that.

(Also, I don't think from what I've read that she can do it in the games, just the sorta-official tie-in manga. I mean, that would pretty much by definition make her an undefeatable boss.)

--G.
-><-
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Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

>I am currently operating under the assumption that she doesn't have
>it, although it might be somewhere in the house, collected by their
>father sometime before they were born and never discovered by the
>sisters.
>
>Remember in Act VII when Remilia said the Old Gods were dead in that
>world, but she didn't know whether they had died out for lack of
>worshippers ("Who Mourns for Adonais?"-style) or been killed by the
>monsters that had threatened to overrun the world in the Middle Ages?
>
>There is a third possibility, which is that they were killed as
>monsters by the witches and supernatural allies of ages past. "No
>gods, no masters" and all that. At that point, Lævatein and Spear
>the Gungnir take on something of a flavor of... hunting trophies.
>

For whatever reason my brain loves to take the 'why not both?' (or all 3 in this case) option, mixing weakness due to lack of worship with a combo of becoming monster chow and being seen as monsters to put down, producing one giant god death smoothie.

Though in this case it might simply be my mind wanted an excuse to release 'god death smoothie' into the world and retroactively justified it with pseudo-logic.

>Grass grows back!
>
>... Topsoil and that bit of the continental plate not so much,
>admittedly, but a volcanic hotspot can be a great tourist attraction!
>

Glassing the planet, one golf course at a time!

>Well, she can only do it to one thing at a time, and she bores easily,
>so... there's that.
>

Survival through being uninteresting to the goddess of destruction, I've heard of worse strategies.

>(Also, I don't think from what I've read that she can do it in the
>games, just the sorta-official tie-in manga. I mean, that would
>pretty much by definition make her an undefeatable boss.)
>

In some genres of game that would be the enrage timer expiring, but I don't think I've heard of a bullet hell game that also leveraged that mechanic, that'd be exceptionally cruel.

	-={(Astynax)}=- "Bored now, time to die!" Game Over!

>
>There is a third possibility, which is that they were killed as
>monsters by the witches and supernatural allies of ages past. "No
>gods, no masters" and all that. At that point, Lævatein and Spear
>the Gungnir take on something of a flavor of... hunting trophies.
>
>Remilia is smart enough for that thought to have occurred to her, but
>I doubt she's comfortable looking directly at it. It would be at odds
>with her mental record of her father (though it would have happened
>long, long before she was born). I'm not even saying it's definitely
>what happened. But... it could be.
>

In my head, this becomes:

"Where were you?" Count Victor Scarlet asked, "Grendel nearly finished us all."

Victor's errant ally displayed the weapons of the Norse gods. "Taking care of problems."

"They were to be left alone. I made my position clear on that."

"And I disagreed with you. Now it's no longer up for deb-HUURK!"

Peter Eng
--
Insert humorous comment here.

>"Where were you?" Count Victor Scarlet asked, "Grendel nearly finished
>us all."
>
>Victor's errant ally displayed the weapons of the Norse gods. "Taking
>care of problems."
>
>"They were to be left alone. I made my position clear on that."
>
>"And I disagreed with you. Now it's no longer up for deb-HUURK!"

Fucking Beowulf, always grandstanding for the Geat vote.

--G.
-><-
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LAST EDITED ON Sep-17-20 AT 08:55 PM (EDT)
 
>>Also damn all the figurines for being so pricey. The detail is top
>>notch (you can count watch chain links) but the page I swiped that
>>image from listed the associated art object at $210.
>
>I know, right? Like I mentioned in the annotations, the black version
>of the "super fancy Remi" figurine is like 500 bucks. My car
>payment is like 500 bucks.

Oh, I should have noted, however, that the somewhat more reasonably priced Sega figure of Sakuya is pretty good. I like it better than the same product line's figures of Remi and Flan—not that those are bad, but the sculpts are a little too "kiddie"-looking to perfectly match my taste. I prefer the interpretations of Remi that look like an unusually small woman rather than a little girl, and Flan in her early teens. What can I say, I'm an ephebophile, not a lolicon.

Also, I make no warranty that these are anything more than "somewhat more reasonably priced" than the hideously expensive ones. I recognize that 50 bucks is still a lot to pay for a small plastic woman.

-G.
-><-
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Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

>
>Oh, I should have noted, however, that the
>somewhat more reasonably >priced Sega figure of Sakuya> is pretty good. I like it better than
>the same product line's figures of
>Remi
>and
>Flan—not
>that those are bad, but the sculpts are a little too
>"kiddie"-looking to perfectly match my taste. I prefer the
>interpretations of Remi that look like an unusually small woman rather
>than a little girl, and Flan in her early teens. What can I say, I'm
>an ephebophile, not a lolicon.
>
>Also, I make no warranty that these are anything more than "somewhat
>more reasonably priced" than the hideously expensive ones. I
>recognize that 50 bucks is still a lot to pay for a small plastic
>woman.
>

One could see those as chibi rather than loli, but I see the point, and generally agree.

I really hate that the black outfit Remilia costs as much as a decent video card, I wouldn't expect that quality to come for $50, but if it were somewhere south of $200 I'd probably already have a charge on my credit card just due to the artistic merit of the item (you can count the chain links on the fiddly little decorative chains, I'll pay 3 figures for that, just not mid 3 figures.)

This reminds me indirectly, is it just expected to be a needle in a haystack finding non loli/chibi Touhou art?

	-={(Astynax)}=- "They're cute and all, but I don't need the NSA agent assigned to review my search history getting the wrong ideas..."

LAST EDITED ON Sep-17-20 AT 09:57 PM (EDT)
 
>I really hate that the black outfit Remilia costs as much as a decent
>video card, I wouldn't expect that quality to come for $50, but if it
>were somewhere south of $200 I'd probably already have a charge on my
>credit card just due to the artistic merit of the item (you can count
>the chain links on the fiddly little decorative chains, I'll pay 3
>figures for that, just not mid 3 figures.)

I know! There are cheaper Chinese knockoffs available of at least the white/silver version (I haven't noticed the black one, but I haven't really looked), around 60 bucks, but they take forever to ship and who knows if they're actually any good? The pictures look fine, but they might be pictures of a Japanese original for all I know. Is it racist to instinctively distrust Chinese online vendors? :/

>This reminds me indirectly, is it just expected to be a needle in a
>haystack finding non loli/chibi Touhou art?

No, not that bad. I mean, Embodiment of Scarlet Devil has been out for 17 years, and the characters have stayed popular the whole time, plus they've appeared in other Touhou games since, which has kept them current in the fandom. The Remilia pics alone on danbooru run to 41,000+ with more still being added.

Sturgeon's Law applies, of course, but even so, that's a deep pool. The playable Touhou characters run even higher, into the high 50s (Hakurei Reimu, for instance, currently stands at 57,000+); the only character from anything I can think of offhand who has more than that is Hatsune Miku, who's currently standing somewhere above 64,000 after this year's birthday surge at the end of August. It takes some sifting (and some judicious tag blacklisting, in my case), but there's good stuff to be found.

e-hentai.org, despite its name, also has some worthwhile non-H Touhou doujins in English scanlation. I'm rather partial to Satou Kibi's. Super cute, doesn't fuck with your head. Fair warning: a lot of Touhou artists like to fuck with your head, and every character can be and has been flanderized to the hilt (especially—wouldn't you know it—Flandre). Fanon is especially unkind to Meiling, which I cannot fathom since she's awesome.

If you take a deep dive into that stuff, you will lose a bunch of time, but you will also probably notice a few bits and pieces that seem familiar from Gallian Gothic. I haven't riffed any plot wholesale, but I've run across an appealing design idea here and there (such as The World, which is actually a Jojo's Bizarre Adventure reference that a clade of the Touhou fandom has adopted for Sakuya owing to the resemblance of her special ability to that of one of the Jojo characters).

--G.
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LAST EDITED ON Sep-17-20 AT 10:45 PM (EDT)
 
>I know! There are cheaper Chinese knockoffs available of at least the
>white/silver version (I haven't noticed the black one, but I haven't
>really looked), around 60 bucks, but they take forever to ship and who
>knows if they're actually any good? The pictures look fine, but they
>might be pictures of a Japanese original for all I know. Is it racist
>to instinctively distrust Chinese online vendors? :/
>

Being that much cheaper makes me suspect them regardless of source. For something like this, I'd imagine they took castings of an original, cleaned them up, and are using the result to churn out 80-90% accurate knock offs.

Makes me miss the 'last day of con, I don't wanna lug this home' sales from Otakons of yore (then again, I had time and energy back then, but not nearly enough money; my resource deficiencies have since reversed.)

>No, not that bad. I mean, Embodiment of Scarlet Devil has been
>out for 17 years, and the characters have stayed popular the whole
>time, plus they've appeared in other Touhou games since, which has
>kept them current in the fandom. The
>Remilia pics alone on danbooru
> run to 41,000+ with more still being added.
>
>Sturgeon's Law applies, of course, but even so, that's a deep pool.
>The playable Touhou characters run even higher, into the high 50s
>(Hakurei Reimu, for instance, currently stands at 57,000+); the only
>character from anything I can think of offhand who has more
>than that is Hatsune Miku, who's currently standing somewhere above
>64,000 after this year's birthday surge at the end of August. It
>takes some sifting (and some judicious tag blacklisting, in my case),
>but there's good stuff to be found.
>

That sounds practically 'infinite monkeys writing Shakespeare', the shear volume means something is nearly guaranteed to be non-dumpster-worthy. Good to know that that task is possible, just not trivial.

>e-hentai.org, despite its name, also has some worthwhile non-H Touhou
>doujins in English scanlation. I'm rather partial to Satou Kibi's.
>Super cute, doesn't fuck with your head. Fair warning: a lot of
>Touhou artists like to fuck with your head, and every character can be
>and has been flanderized to the hilt (especially—wouldn't you know
>it—Flandre). Fanon is especially unkind to Meiling, which I cannot
>fathom since she's awesome.
>

I'm not sure how close your version is to the source material, though I also gather that Touhou is almost a Rorschach test when it comes to how one might see its characters, but Meiling as presented here seems to just be a steady, cheerful presence. I get earth-bender vibes from her, even though I doubt there's a connection there.

>If you take a deep dive into that stuff, you will lose a bunch of
>time, but you will also probably notice a few bits and pieces that
>seem familiar from Gallian Gothic. I haven't riffed any plot
>wholesale, but I've run across an appealing design idea here and there
>(such as The World, which is actually a Jojo's Bizarre
>Adventure reference that a clade of the Touhou fandom has adopted
>for Sakuya owing to the resemblance of her special ability to that of
>one of the Jojo characters).
>

I had suspected (I haven't seen much JoJo myself, but the Internet is awash with references and memes, particularly to key components such as the World time stop power and its owner.) I hadn't thought you had any dealings with such dark forces, but I guess JoJo has permeated Internet culture to such an extent it is practically generic.

	-={(Astynax)}=- "You thought this was a signature comment, but it was me, Dio!"

>Being that much cheaper makes me suspect them regardless of source.
>For something like this, I'd imagine they took castings of an
>original, cleaned them up, and are using the result to churn out
>80-90% accurate knock offs.

Yeah. At that price point I'm kind of tempted to get one just to see how bad it is, but... eh.

>>Fanon is especially unkind to Meiling, which I cannot
>>fathom since she's awesome.
>
>I'm not sure how close your version is to the source material, though
>I also gather that Touhou is almost a Rorschach test when it comes to
>how one might see its characters, but Meiling as presented here seems
>to just be a steady, cheerful presence. I get earth-bender vibes from
>her, even though I doubt there's a connection there.

Yeah, I haven't played the games, but the impression I get is that the characters don't have very well-fleshed-out personalities and the backstory is wide but not deep, both of which leave ample room for interpretation. Kind of like Kantai Collection, except that Kancolle characters do have a lot of
dialogue to at least sketch in the bones of their characterizations.

What that, and fandom being fandom, means is that people tend to latch onto one or two traits and ride them to the end of the rails. Sakuya is the chief maid of Scarlet Devil Mansion, so a lot of people present her as the operation's overall majordomo and, as often as not, a brutal taskmaster. Remilia likes to ham up the vampire shtick (and a cruel and capricious mistress of the household into the bargain), so in a lot of artists' eyes, she is only the vampire shtick, while to others she's the target of a million "charisma break" jokes, most of them mean. And so on.

Meiling's thing is that she's canonically the mansion's gatekeeper, which makes her one of the earliest level bosses the playable characters (who are assaulting the mansion on a mission of frankly dubious legitimacy*) encounter. Because that's the way the game is structured, not only does she have to lose, she has to be pretty easy to beat.

This has led a legion of fan artists to portray her as completely useless, either because she can't fight her way out of a paper bag, or because she's so feckless, lazy, and/or stupid she doesn't even notice intruders are entering the mansion half the time. This synergizes with the "brutal Sakuya" trope and leads to a lot of gags where Sakuya catches her not doing her job and sticks her full of knives (which she survives because a) she's very tough and b) it's for comic effect). In those interpretations, Remilia usually keeps her on because she's a cruel mistress and she thinks that's entertaining, or possibly she just doesn't really care if the gate is actually guarded in the first place.

I will say that one common fan trope about Meiling that I'm fully on board with is that she's good with kids, particularly Flandre. In settings where Flandre is just a bit strange, or destructive because she doesn't know any better, or for that matter totally fine, as opposed to completely psychotic or evil incarnate, she and Meiling are usually buddies (a role which Meiling is well-suited for, since she's so tough and so willing to put up with being damaged).

Hence my version, who is a hard worker, honest and incorruptible, innately cheerful, pretty much fearless, largely indifferent to physical hardship, and comfortable in her skin. She knows she's not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but also that she isn't as dumb as some people take her to be. Her taste in food and drink is catholic, her taste in women is if I may say so impeccable, and the rest looks after itself. Her only real flaw is a tendency to be a bit insecure about where she stands with other people.

>I hadn't thought you had
>any dealings with such dark forces, but I guess JoJo has permeated
>Internet culture to such an extent it is practically generic.

I've only encountered it in other things that were riffing on it (like the aforementioned Touhou fan works, some of which explicitly claim that Sakuya is Dio Brando's estranged daughter). Like you say, it's kind of part of a certain corner of fandom's RNA now. Fun fact: I at first thought The World was part of Sakuya's original design, and only discovered after I'd first incorporated it into TTW that it was a second-hand Jojo reference! But I like it, so it got to stay. Besides, I'd put my own spin on it by then. We haven't seen it on screen yet, but Sakuya's The World is called The World because "THE WORLD" is the only legible engraving on the back plate. It used to say

"THE WORLD"
CHRONOVORTECTIC MANIPULATOR CO.
NEW MANHATTAN

but the smaller type is now so worn that it can't be read.

--G.
* I mean they're right, SDM is the source of the disturbance affecting the local area, but as I read the synopsis, the playable characters have no evidence of this until after they've broken into the place and beaten up most of the staff, which is not how due process is meant to work, modern-day American policing notwithstanding.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

LAST EDITED ON Sep-18-20 AT 01:10 AM (EDT)
 
>Yeah. At that price point I'm kind of tempted to get one just to see
>how bad it is, but... eh.
>

So I found one of the knock-off fancy figures, and after playing a bit of 'spot the differences' (the pose of Remilia's outstretched hand is distinctly different, and it doesn't look like a pose-able figure, plus the painting work is a bit rougher and the colors aren't all spot on between them, though that -might- be due to camera variance) those pictures seem to be of the actual item (the listing I've hit first: OK knock off.) I did see another that looks to be absolutely identical to the original ( this one) but somehow I trust it less than one where I can see the cut corners.

Sadly for my taste, the black dress seems to be a limited edition that didn't get cut-rate knock-off love.

You aren't kidding about that shipping though, estimated arival window is a month wide, starting a month from now (insert 'slow boat from China' joke here.)

>Meiling's thing is that she's canonically the mansion's gatekeeper,
>which makes her one of the earliest level bosses the playable
>characters (who are assaulting the mansion on a mission of frankly
>dubious legitimacy*) encounter. Because that's the way the game is
>structured, not only does she have to lose, she has to be pretty easy
>to beat.
>
>This has led a legion of fan artists to portray her as
>completely useless, either because she can't fight her way out
>of a paper bag, or because she's so feckless, lazy, and/or stupid she
>doesn't even notice intruders are entering the mansion half the time.
>This synergizes with the "brutal Sakuya" trope and leads to a lot of
>gags where Sakuya catches her not doing her job and sticks her full of
>knives (which she survives because a) she's very tough and b) it's for
>comic effect). In those interpretations, Remilia usually keeps her on
>because she's a cruel mistress and she thinks that's entertaining, or
>possibly she just doesn't really care if the gate is actually guarded
>in the first place.
>

That seems deeply unfair. I have fought bosses in games that fit that well enough, but it was made obvious they were meant to be punching bags to warm up on, which it doesn't sound like that's the case here so much. Chalk up another rescue for the EPU shelter.

>I've only encountered it in other things that were riffing on it (like
>the aforementioned Touhou fan works, some of which explicitly claim
>that Sakuya is Dio Brando's estranged daughter). Like you say, it's
>kind of part of a certain corner of fandom's RNA now.

So I have seen precisely one episode of anything JoJo, and in that brief exposure it was quite clear that no blood relation of Dio Brando (or, indeed, Dio himself) could be a worthwhile human being. Setting Sakuya as his daughter is the act of someone who hates her, hates everyone in the same time zone as her, or both.

>* I mean they're right, SDM is the source of the
>disturbance affecting the local area, but as I read the synopsis, the
>playable characters have no evidence of this until after they've
>broken into the place and beaten up most of the staff, which is not
>how due process is meant to work, modern-day American policing
>notwithstanding.

That is some top quality murder-hoboing right there. Most of the D&D groups I've been involved with would approve at least.

	-={(Astynax)}=- "Kill first, ask questions via 'Speak With dead', it is the murder-hono way."

LAST EDITED ON Sep-18-20 AT 01:30 AM (EDT)
 
>I did see another that looks to be absolutely identical
>to the original, but somehow I trust it less than one where I can see the cut
>corners.

Yeah, that's the one where I'm pretty sure the pictures are just stolen from a listing for the real Japanese one.

>Sadly for my taste, the black dress seems to be a limited edition that
>didn't get cut-rate knock-off love.

I'm tempted to make that version her wedding dress, just to poke fun at the traditions. "Vampire women always wear black at their weddings. It symbolizes the purity and all-embracing protection of the night."

>You aren't kidding about that shipping though, estimated arival window
>is a month wide, starting a month from now (insert 'slow boat from
>China' joke here.)

With that kind of lead time, I almost think they only make one when someone orders it.

>That seems deeply unfair.

Much about various characters' treatment by various fan artists is unfair, and not just in Touhou, but once again it's a function of how much of it there is.

Oh yeah, she's also Chinese, so, well, we know how they and the Japanese get along. In some of the meaner ones, none of the other characters can even remember Meiling's name. They just call her "China".

>Chalk up another rescue for the EPU shelter.

In fairness, my "improved" version is herself informed by other fan interpretations that are more generous. They're not all out to get her, but it seems like there are a lot who are.

(And don't even get me started on the one doujin I stumbled across with Psycho Flan brutally dismembering repeated iterations of Patchouli's devil-girl familiar, Koakuma. God damn it, you assholes, I blacklisted guro for a fucking reason, tag your shit.)

>So I have seen precisely one episode of anything JoJo, and in that
>brief exposure it was quite clear that no blood relation of Dio Brando
>(or, indeed, Dio himself) could be a worthwhile human being. Setting
>Sakuya as his daughter is the act of someone who hates her, hates
>everyone in the same time zone as her, or both.

Heh, well, in some of them that's why "estranged", and in others, she is in fact a terrible human being. The gamut, it is wide.

>>* I mean they're right, SDM is the source of the
>>disturbance affecting the local area, but as I read the synopsis, the
>>playable characters have no evidence of this until after they've
>>broken into the place and beaten up most of the staff, which is not
>>how due process is meant to work, modern-day American policing
>>notwithstanding.
>
>That is some top quality murder-hoboing right there. Most of the D&D
>groups I've been involved with would approve at least.

One of them is a witch with no sense of proportion, and the other is a mercenary shrine maiden.* Neither one really goes in for moderation. I've seen versions of them that are tolerable, even likeable, but the way they go about their business in Embodiment of Scarlet Devil is... yeah.

--G.
* As in, she's so poor and her shrine is so ill-traveled that she'll take basically any job in exchange for donations. In some doujins, any. Job. Yeah. Sigh.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

>One of them is a witch with no sense of proportion, and the other is a
>mercenary shrine maiden.* Neither one really goes in for moderation.

Even better, later games mix in some combination of characters you've previously fought as playable choices, and their motivation is similarly suspect:

*Remilia joins the case out of sheer boredom
*Sanae Kochiya is a newcomer shrine maiden (as in packed up bags and moved from the real world into Gensokyo) and is trying to outdo Reimu in order to get more followers for her shrine
*finally, there's Youmu Konpaku, a half-ghost who serves as the Token Serious Person in all of this. She also has a sword technique that sees her move an appreciable fraction of the speed of light for the duration.

"This is probably a stupid question, but . . ."

LAST EDITED ON Sep-18-20 AT 11:36 AM (EDT)
 
>*Sanae Kochiya is a newcomer shrine maiden (as in packed up bags and
>moved from the real world into Gensokyo) and is trying to outdo Reimu
>in order to get more followers for her shrine

I've deliberately restricted myself as much as possible just to stuff dealing with the SDM characters, partly for time reasons and partly just because ye gods, do I not need another ten thousand characters to deal with jockeying for position in my headspace :), but I've seen Sanae pop up peripherally in a few of those things, and I have to say I do not particularly like her in any of them. I suspect this is at least partly yet another example of fanderization, but she always seems to be portrayed as exactly the kind of abrasively snarky bitch character I can least get on with. I mean, don't get me wrong, I like a girl with a bit of snark, but not the mean kind. And I bet she has that OH HO HO HO evil-ojōsama laugh, too.

--G.
Also, she looks just like Suzuya from Kancolle, or rather the other way around if you want to get technical but I encountered Suzuya first, so that kind of messes with my head. :)
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

>I'm tempted to make that version her wedding dress, just to poke fun
>at the traditions. "Vampire women always wear black at their
>weddings. It symbolizes the purity and all-embracing protection of
>the night."
>

I know this isn't a democracy, but chalk up my vote in favor of this idea anyway. A vampire with a sense of humor about their nature is a terrible thing to waste. Too many vampire stories lean -hard- into edgelord and/or emo territory for no sane reason.
"Wait, so we've gotta avoid the sun and some foods and/or holy symbols, and maybe a weapon type or 3, and find blood to consume every so often, but in exchange we're ageless, immortal beyond extreme or specific misadventure, and get super powers? And you guys are all -depressed- about this?"

>With that kind of lead time, I almost think they only make one when
>someone orders it.
>

That would be kind of impressive actually. At this point, it seems my impatience is the only thing saving me from a potentially poor decision (there's irony, or something like it, there.)

>Oh yeah, she's also Chinese, so, well, we know how they and the
>Japanese get along. In some of the meaner ones, none of the other
>characters can even remember Meiling's name. They just call her
>"China".
>

That does provide context, or at least some other reason for the otherwise seemingly random level of malice described.

>(And don't even get me started on the one doujin I stumbled across
>with Psycho Flan brutally dismembering repeated iterations of
>Patchouli's devil-girl familiar, Koakuma. God damn it, you assholes,
>I blacklisted guro for a fucking reason, tag your shit.)
>

I don't always mind the ol' ultraviolence (I think The Boys is an excellent show for example) but as with pretty much all things, surprising people with somewhat extreme events in entertainment is generally not cool. Though a very tiny part of me sees a dark humor in part of the Internet still remaining the lawless wilds most of it was once upon a time.

>One of them is a witch with no sense of proportion, and the other is a
>mercenary shrine maiden.* Neither one really goes in for moderation.

Together, they fight crime?

>* As in, she's so poor and her shrine is so
>ill-traveled that she'll take basically any job in exchange for
>donations. In some doujins, any. Job. Yeah. Sigh.

I'm not sure if that's a trope, or some random things I've stumbled across were Touhou related without my knowledge (both seem equally likely at this point,) because I've seen that concept (including the 'any job' qualifier, doujin and hentai could often be confused as synonyms by someone unfamiliar with the actual definitions) a few times while making the rounds.

	-={(Astynax)}=- "Remember: The Internet is for porn."

LAST EDITED ON Sep-18-20 AT 11:52 AM (EDT)
 
>>I'm tempted to make that version her wedding dress, just to poke fun
>>at the traditions. "Vampire women always wear black at their
>>weddings. It symbolizes the purity and all-embracing protection of
>>the night."
>
>I know this isn't a democracy, but chalk up my vote in favor of this
>idea anyway. A vampire with a sense of humor about their nature is a
>terrible thing to waste. Too many vampire stories lean -hard- into
>edgelord and/or emo territory for no sane reason.

Heh, well, I'm all for subverting the vampire tropes, so, there you go. It's not a democracy, but one does consult the Senate from time to time. :)

(See also: the bit in Night of the Kissogram! where Saya lampshades, among other things, the Vampire the Masquerade backstory by pointing out that Marceline is Queen of the Vampires, but that avails her nothing in practice because vampires are scattered individualists without an internal power structure. Camarilla, my ass. :)

>>(And don't even get me started on the one doujin I stumbled across
>>with Psycho Flan brutally dismembering repeated iterations of
>>Patchouli's devil-girl familiar, Koakuma.
>
>I don't always mind the ol' ultraviolence (I think The Boys is
>an excellent show for example) but as with pretty much all things,
>surprising people with somewhat extreme events in entertainment is
>generally not cool.

The thing that really bothered me about that one was less the actual gore (although I'm not a big fan of it, hence blacklisting the tag) as the fact that Patchy and Remi knew it was going to happen to each Koa they sent in there (and so did the Koas), but they kept summoning them and forcing them them to go in anyway, because fuck 'em, they're only minor demons, and somebody's got to keep Flan occupied until she gets bored of this. I hate the takes where they're just... actual monsters, in the "vile, terrible people" sense.

>>One of them is a witch with no sense of proportion, and the other is a
>>mercenary shrine maiden.* Neither one really goes in for moderation.
>
>Together, they fight crime?

Well, in Gensōkyō they call them "incidents". :)

They can be presented as sympathetic characters (in a fair fiew doujins set after Embodiment of Scarlet Devil, they're actually depicted as friends of the SDM gang, having somehow bonded with them over the shared experience of having broken in and assaulted everyone there to halt what was really not that major a shenanigan). I like Marisa (the witch) a bit better of the two in those scenarios, because she's really pretty harmless, she just has poor impulse control (as opposed to Reimu, who, with the best will in the world, is still a bit of a bully even when being portrayed as basically nice). Evidently there's a line at the end of the game wherein Flan (who is the bonus-stage boss, the last one you fight) takes a liking to her because, although she lost, it was the first fun she's had in years, and so in the follow-up art you see them hanging out, which is cute.

(She's also one of those female characters who are always depicted as talking like dudes from yakuza movies, ending almost every sentence with da ze, which for some reason I find very cute. My mind translates that into English with a Bugs Bunny/Harley Quinn accent. :)

>I'm not sure if that's a trope, or some random things I've stumbled
>across were Touhou related without my knowledge (both seem equally
>likely at this point,) because I've seen that concept (including the
>'any job' qualifier, doujin and hentai could often be confused as
>synonyms by someone unfamiliar with the actual definitions) a few
>times while making the rounds.

Yeah, once you've taken the decision to depict a character as desperately poor, those H-doujins just about write themselves.

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

>(See also: the bit in Night of the Kissogram! where Saya
>lampshades, among other things, the Vampire the Masquerade
>backstory by pointing out that Marceline is Queen of the Vampires, but
>that avails her nothing in practice because vampires are scattered
>individualists without an internal power structure. Camarilla, my
>ass. :)
>

This resurfaces the thought I've long had that VtM would be so much better if it took itself much less seriously. There were always flashes of it here and there (the clan stereotypes boxes in the old sourcebooks were often good for a chuckle) but they didn't leverage it enough and the whole thing became unable to hold up the ponderous weight of its own pretension.
Which is wandering well into the Off-topic Woods, so I should probably not continue that rant.

>The thing that really bothered me about that one was less the actual
>gore (although I'm not a big fan of it, hence blacklisting the tag) as
>the fact that Patchy and Remi knew it was going to happen to each Koa
>they sent in there (and so did the Koas), but they kept summoning them
>and forcing them them to go in anyway, because fuck 'em, they're only
>minor demons, and somebody's got to keep Flan occupied until she gets
>bored of this. I hate the takes where they're just... actual
>monsters, in the "vile, terrible people" sense.
>

I wonder if Japanese, or perhaps German, has yet invented a term for 'vile, terrible person as protagonist' so it could be applied and filtered?

>Well, in Gensōkyō they call them "incidents". :)
>
>They can be presented as sympathetic characters (in a fair fiew
>doujins set after Embodiment of Scarlet Devil, they're actually
>depicted as friends of the SDM gang, having somehow bonded with them
>over the shared experience of having broken in and assaulted everyone
>there to halt what was really not that major a shenanigan). I like
>Marisa (the witch) a bit better of the two in those scenarios, because
>she's really pretty harmless, she just has poor impulse control (as
>opposed to Reimu, who, with the best will in the world, is still a bit
>of a bully even when being portrayed as basically nice). Evidently
>there's a line at the end of the game wherein Flan (who is the
>bonus-stage boss, the last one you fight) takes a liking to her
>because, although she lost, it was the first fun she's had in years,
>and so in the follow-up art you see them hanging out, which is cute.
>

I believe bonding through brawling is a fairly accepted trope, especially but not exclusively in Japan (for a Western example, see Klingons.) The above is probably being shoehorned into that despite the somewhat more fraught than typical initial circumstances.

>(She's also one of those female characters who are always depicted as
>talking like dudes from yakuza movies, ending almost every sentence
>with da ze, which for some reason I find very cute. My mind
>translates that into English with a Bugs Bunny/Harley Quinn accent. :)
>

Animated DC products have ruined the Harley accent a bit in that I expect anyone using it to not be entirely sane. Not necessarily in a bad or unpleasant way, just not centered and stable.

	-={(Astynax)}=- "An obsession with puddin' may or may not be present."

LAST EDITED ON Sep-18-20 AT 02:53 PM (EDT)
 
>This resurfaces the thought I've long had that VtM would be so much
>better if it took itself much less seriously.

Indeed, this could be fairly said for all the World of Insufficient Light games. I remember a friend of mine who was a lot more into said games than I was capping off with an epic rant about Wraith: The Oblivion when it first came out. "You can't do anything. You're dead. Want to interact with the world? You can't. You're dead. Want to talk to another character? You can't. You're dead. Want to have any effect on the game at all? You can't. You're dead. Fuck's sake!" :)

Also: Back in the '90s, the Maine Turnpike Authority undertook a massive project to widen the Turnpike from the end of the existing six-lane stretch, which ran from the New Hampshire border to the toll booths north of York, all the way from there up to Portland. As part of the run-up to the project, they put up huge informational signs near the start points (north- and southbound) explaining why it was going to be a good thing overall that the Turnpike was going to be a massive pain in the ass to traverse for the next three or four years.

These signs were headed, and oh how I wish phone cams had been a thing back then so I could have gotten a photo of one of them,

TURNPIKE: THE WIDENING

which I submit would have been the worst White Wolf game ever made. Or possibly the best. Gothic horror highway construction.

>I wonder if Japanese, or perhaps German, has yet invented a term for
>'vile, terrible person as protagonist' so it could be applied and
>filtered?

In English the closest we get is "A Film by Quentin Tarantino".

>I believe bonding through brawling is a fairly accepted trope,
>especially but not exclusively in Japan (for a Western example, see
>Klingons.)

True!

>The above is probably being shoehorned into that despite
>the somewhat more fraught than typical initial circumstances.

It kind of works in-setting, if only because a lot of the artists who go that route portray danmaku as a sort of recreational combat, like counting coup, where the object is to defeat your opponent without... you know, utterly retroactively deleting her entire family line from reality, which is something that a number of Touhou characters could do if they really felt like it. It's actually presented as the "less lethal" option, and plausibly so given how terrifying some of the characters' "true power" is portrayed. (Flan, for instance.)

>>(She's also one of those female characters who are always depicted as
>>talking like dudes from yakuza movies, ending almost every sentence
>>with da ze, which for some reason I find very cute. My mind
>>translates that into English with a Bugs Bunny/Harley Quinn accent. :)
>
>Animated DC products have ruined the Harley accent a bit in that I
>expect anyone using it to not be entirely sane. Not necessarily in a
>bad or unpleasant way, just not centered and stable.

Aw, Harley's not bad, she's just drawn that wa—(hand to earpiece) I'm... I'm being told she usually is actually quite bad.

(That aside, Marisa's OK, she's just kind of bullheaded and boundary-challenged. Except in the versions where she's an ardent kleptomaniac. In the good "buddy" interpretations, she hangs around the library a lot, annoying Patchouli, who doesn't socialize, but being generally harmless. In the bad ones, she just breaks in and steals books constantly, with Patchy shaking her fist Farmer MacGregor style. Those are usually the ones where Meiling gets stabbed a lot for always failing to stop her.)

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

>Also: Back in the '90s, the Maine Turnpike Authority undertook a
>massive project to widen the Turnpike from the end of the existing
>six-lane stretch, which ran from the New Hampshire border to the toll
>booths north of York, all the way from there up to Portland. As part
>of the run-up to the project, they put up huge informational signs
>near the start points (north- and southbound) explaining why it was
>going to be a good thing overall that the Turnpike was going to be a
>massive pain in the ass to traverse for the next three or four years.
>
>These signs were headed, and oh how I wish phone cams had been a thing
>back then so I could have gotten a photo of one of them,
>
>TURNPIKE: THE WIDENING
>
>which I submit would have been the worst White Wolf game ever made.
>Or possibly the best. Gothic horror highway construction.
>

Given the usual length of road work (heat death of the universe - 1 day) that would be a game set in a very particular sort of purgatory dimension, perhaps for overly aggressive drivers.

>In English the closest we get is "A Film by Quentin Tarantino".
>

I've enjoyed some of the man's work, but that is rather aggressively accurate.

>It kind of works in-setting, if only because a lot of the artists who
>go that route portray danmaku as a sort of recreational combat,
>like counting coup, where the object is to defeat your opponent
>without... you know, utterly retroactively deleting her entire family
>line from reality, which is something that a number of Touhou
>characters could do if they really felt like it. It's actually
>presented as the "less lethal" option, and plausibly so given how
>terrifying some of the characters' "true power" is portrayed. (Flan,
>for instance.)
>

From what I gather Remilia and Flandre are both portrayed as rather bored immortal beings, so I suppose recreational artillery barrages could make sense for them. That sort of thing seems to be another common trope actually.

>Aw, Harley's not bad, she's just drawn that wa—(hand to earpiece)
>I'm... I'm being told she usually is actually quite bad.
>

It really depends on who is writing her, and where she is in her personal narrative. Funny enough, for all that it is an alternate universe that has gone well off the rails, the Injustice version of Harley is pretty much the sweet spot for portrayals in my mind.

	-={(Astynax)}=- "She gave Black Canary a tiny muzzle for her baby; that's just an inspired gift frankly."

>It kind of works in-setting, if only because a lot of the artists who
>go that route portray danmaku as a sort of recreational combat,
>like counting coup, where the object is to defeat your opponent
>without... you know, utterly retroactively deleting her entire family
>line from reality, which is something that a number of Touhou
>characters could do if they really felt like it. It's actually
>presented as the "less lethal" option, and plausibly so given how
>terrifying some of the characters' "true power" is portrayed. (Flan,
>for instance.)

The key here is the Spellcard system which is essentially a magically-enforced contract binding the participants into a "danmaku set to 'stun'" dueling system. Reimu instituted this system because of the way Gensokyo and the Border works; essentially, Reimu functions in the same way as the Pillar of Cephiro, only on an even smaller scale (Gensokyo covering a territory roughly the size of a prefecture). Without the Spellcards, Reimu would pretty much be the ultimate bully, as she could go lethal at will, while her targets would have to pull their punches or risk suffering Sudden Existence Failure. Of course, the fact that certain characters (e.g. Rumia, Flandre, Utsuho) wouldn't understand or wouldn't care to pull their punches is also a significant part of it.

"This is probably a stupid question, but . . ."

LAST EDITED ON Sep-23-20 AT 09:14 PM (EDT)
 
>>>I'm tempted to make that version her wedding dress, just to poke fun
>>>at the traditions. "Vampire women always wear black at their
>>>weddings. It symbolizes the purity and all-embracing protection of
>>>the night."

I just had an out-of-the-blue thought that tied back into this. If vampire women traditionally wear black at their weddings, was the white version of her outfit in TTW meant to be mourning clothes? (Hell, has all that white she's been wearing all along been mourning?)

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

>I just had an out-of-the-blue thought that tied back into this. If
>vampire women traditionally wear black at their weddings, was the
>white version of her outfit in TTW meant to be mourning clothes?
>(Hell, has all that white she's been wearing all along been
>mourning?)
>

You're in a better position to answer that question than I am, but I'd suspect it was mostly subconscious if so, and also somewhat coincidental (I seem to have the notion that mourning clothes would be semi-specific garments and styles, while wearing mourning colors otherwise is more... like the vampire equivalent of goth/emo fashion maybe.) I'm not sure Remilia would have an all white wardrobe purpose created using the suddenly limited household supplies, but selecting her existing outfits that closest fit her mood would make sense.

	-={(Astynax)}=- "By the time G enters the picture, clothing color choice was probably almost totally out of habit, and what had been maintained over the decades and thus was available."

>You're in a better position to answer that question than I am, but I'd
>suspect it was mostly subconscious if so, and also somewhat
>coincidental

Yeah, I was just kind of thinking out loud, after the notion popped into my head. It's similar to the way the general vocabulary for times of day and night get flopped in vampire life (which I'm not always good at remembering to do when I write their lines).

>I'm not sure Remilia would have an all white wardrobe purpose
>created using the suddenly limited household supplies, but selecting
>her existing outfits that closest fit her mood would make sense.

Mm. I think that's what I had in mind more than "she's specifically still dressed in formal mourning"—the idea that vampires would consider white a somber color, and so the fact that she wears it a lot is, or at least started out, as a reflection of the fact that her life has been pretty depressing for quite a while.

>"By the time G enters the picture, clothing color choice was
>probably almost totally out of habit, and what had been maintained
>over the decades and thus was available."

Indeed. And to be fair, we saw her in pink much more often than white in TTW. The narration mentions that some of her regular clothes were white, and of course her formal outfit was, but almost every time it's specifically mentioned, she's wearing pink. ... I think she just likes pink. :)

(The running joke in the fandom, of course, is that all of her pink clothes used to be white, but, well, fandom. :)

OK! Overthink complete! Back to work! Thanks for coming to my TEDx talk about vampire color sensibilities. Next time we'll talk about how the personal floral emblems of her parents dope out in flower language. (Spoiler: the variety of black, actually very dark purple, tulip that was her mother's personal calling card is a real-life cultivar called Queen of the Night. And she wasn't even a vampire! And people said Remilia the Elder had no sense of humor. :)

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

>
>(The running joke in the fandom, of course, is that all of her pink
>clothes used to be white, but, well, fandom. :)
>

(in a completely different universe)

"My lady," Sakuya began, "What happened to all your clothing?"

"What do you mean?"

"It's all pink."

"I didn't know I was supposed to separate colors and whites."

Peter Eng
--
Insert humorous comment here.

>>>You know who would look completely ginchy in the hat Flan's wearing
>>>there? Sakuya. Especially in her "butler in the streets, maid in the
>>>sheets" outfit? Tellin' you.
>>
>>That'd be something roughly like this I expect:
>>https://i.imgur.com/IZmjcou.jpg?x
>
>That's good too, but not quite what I had in mind. I can't find it
>now, but there was a specific pic on DB I based that outfit on. She
>basically looks like a blackjack dealer from the waist up (men's dress
>shirt with ribbon tie, tailored waistcoat, those elastic band things
>on her upper sleeves and her usual self from the waist down (bell
>skirt with frilly petticoat, waist apron, Mary Janes with no socks or
>tights). Mm-mm-mm. Tellin' you.

Oh hey, here she is. This isn't the picture I was thinking of, that was full-body and she had the arm garters to go with the waistcoat, but it's close enough. It's not really all that different from her usual outfit, except that the vest and shirt are more man-tailored and the vest doesn't have the shoulder frills, but still.

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

>Oh hey, here she is.
>This isn't the picture I was thinking of, that was full-body
>and she had the arm garters to go with the waistcoat, but it's close
>enough. It's not really all that different from her usual outfit,
>except that the vest and shirt are more man-tailored and the vest
>doesn't have the shoulder frills, but still.
>

Ah, splits the difference a bit between the usual and the uber-fancy of the figurine I ran across. Though I will concede, there is pretty much always something about a pretty lady in a vest like that. Makes me wonder what sort of genetic memory is being tripped over and where it came from.

	-={(Astynax)}=- "There's probably a subreddit on the topic..."

>Ah, splits the difference a bit between the usual and the uber-fancy
>of the figurine I ran across. Though I will concede, there is pretty
>much always something about a pretty lady in a vest like that. Makes
>me wonder what sort of genetic memory is being tripped over and where
>it came from.

The "Handsome Ladies" pool on danbooru is full of that kinda stuff. I should probably figure out how to search on a pool ID and a character tag at the same time, I bet I'd find the other pic of Butler Sakuya I'm thinking of if I did.

But yeah, women in well-tailored menswear is definitely a thing. It's about as close as I get to moving off a 1 on the Kinsey scale. :)

--G.
/r/ladiesinwaistcoats?
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

LAST EDITED ON Sep-20-20 AT 09:47 PM (EDT) by Gryphon (admin)
 
>Wouldn't that be a reduction in firepower for most of them?

Pointing a gun sends a message no matter how powerful the wielder personally is.

>Pointing a gun sends a message
>no matter how powerful the wielder personally is.

Ah, it's been a while since I was reminded that comic existed. I had wondered if it was still a going concern. I'll concede that does prove the point.

Also, the forum's link capability was coded before https was much of a thing (I mean, it existed I'm pretty sure, but no one really used it) so trying to specify that protocol breaks it in entertaining ways. I actually believe specifying any protocol breaks it, so it is best to leave it off (like the edit I made in my quote here.)

	-={(Astynax)}=- "I'm pretty sure the forum software predates Google, so always bear that on mind."

>I actually believe specifying any protocol breaks it, so it is best to
>leave it off (like the edit I made in my quote here.)

This is true; the way DCForum handles link embedding is pretty crocky, and if you put on the protocol tag, it parses that as the server you want. I don't know if it's actually "older than Google", but it's true that SSL was far less commonplace in those days (and tended not to be used on the kind of site that people on web forums were going to be trying to link to very much, I should suspect).

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

>This is true; the way DCForum handles link embedding is pretty crocky,
>and if you put on the protocol tag, it parses that as the server you
>want. I don't know if it's actually "older than Google", but it's
>true that SSL was far less commonplace in those days (and tended not
>to be used on the kind of site that people on web forums were going to
>be trying to link to very much, I should suspect).
>

Release dates might be a very near thing. I know neither Google nor this forum existed (at least in a publicly available form) when I first started college back in '97 at any rate.

Going by the copyright date in the footer, I'm actually impressed by the forum software, I'd honestly have expected it to stop functioning by now given newer versions of underlying OS, web server, etc.

	-={(Astynax)}=- "At least I -hope- those things have been updated since 2002, otherwise I expect the forum to try to sell me Russian vodka-flavored Viagra any day now."

LAST EDITED ON Sep-20-20 AT 10:43 PM (EDT)
 
>Going by the copyright date in the footer, I'm actually impressed by
>the forum software, I'd honestly have expected it to stop functioning
>by now given newer versions of underlying OS, web server, etc.

Well, the advantage of its age and relative crockiness is that the software is pretty simple, so there isn't a lot to trip it up as the underlying systems evolve. Or at least that's the impression that I get from talking to people who know, unlike myself, how it actually works. I believe it's all just a bunch of flat files getting shuffled around with scripts.

(On the down side, this is also why it's so sensitive to file system disruptions, which had its most dramatic showing in the Great Upfuck of whatever year that was, and why a huge swathe of the UF General archive is still THERE, but can't be accessed easily.)

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

LAST EDITED ON Sep-20-20 AT 09:47 PM (EDT)
 
>>Wouldn't that be a reduction in firepower for most of them?
>
>Pointing a gun sends a message
>no matter how powerful the wielder personally is.

This is a known corollary to one of Inazuma's Laws, "Occasionally a sniper is a statement that simply must be made."

--G.
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

LAST EDITED ON Sep-28-20 AT 02:07 AM (EDT)
 
One of the protagonists (literally, Hiro Protagonist) of Stephenson's Snow Crash carries a katana in the real world for rather similar reasons. A lot of people just didn't have the proper respect for his previous Noisy-Cricket-ish sidearm. But swords, they understand.

Similarly, I've discussed with a friend the utility of carrying something that "looks like a gun" (in a culture/tech level that has them), even if the actual killing will (or can be) performed by the widget floating above your shoulder, or the orbital cannon slaved to your cyber-eye or brain implant, or what have you.

EDIT: ... and they've just informed me that on their side, this goes back to a line in one of Charles Stross' Laundry Files series, about how the weapons (very visibly) wielded by the Deep Ones in that setting are the equivalent, for our benefit, of a bayonet on an AK to a primitive -- someone who lacks the context to grasp the threat posed by an automatic rifle will still understand "sharp pointy stick".

Same concept, different expressions.