[ EPU Foyer ] [ Lab and Grill ] [ Bonus Theater!! ] [ Rhetorical Questions ] [ CSRANTronix ] [ GNDN ] [ Subterranean Vault ] [ Discussion Forum ]

Eyrie Productions, Unlimited

Subject: "(S63) S5M4 Try, Try Again"     Previous Topic | Next Topic
Printer-friendly copy    
Conferences Annotations (Spoiler Warning!) Topic #110
Reading Topic #110
Gryphonadmin
Charter Member
12318 posts
Jul-20-13, 11:26 PM (EDT)
Click to EMail Gryphon Click to send private message to Gryphon Click to view user profileClick to add this user to your buddy list  
"(S63) S5M4 Try, Try Again"
 
   LAST EDITED ON Jul-22-13 AT 03:13 PM (EDT)
 
We're trying out a slightly different annotation format this time around: as well as line number callouts, we've included keyphrases to help direct you to what the notes are talking about. I started doing this while annotating Forum stories, which don't have fixed line numbers, and liked it enough that I figured we'd give it a trial run for a big story's notes.

Also, this will probably help us find our place if anybody on the team has anything new to add upon further reflection later.

Enjoy! Let us know what you think.


Annotations by Gryphon
Annotations by Phil

[57] embarrassing on a level - Admittedly, not quite as embarrassing as treating the entire Lens network to a telepathic goose, but Corwin has more class than that.

[77] green tactical jumpsuits - This updated view of the Kyoshi Warriors comes from a bit of Avatar fanart Phil pointed me at during my initial discovery phase.

Specifically, this one, by Silas Zee. And yes, the makeup is part of the standard uniform, and they are all firearms-trained, along with their other weapons.

[97] Maki - My mental image of Maki closely resembles Suki, the canonical leader of the Kyoshi Warriors in what, for the 25th-century UF version of the setting, was a previous era. Whether there's some in-story basis for this resemblance is a matter upon which I couldn't possibly comment.

[107] Chu Chu - "Hey, Chu Chu's kind of a chimerical animal, it's hard to tell if he's supposed to be a monkey or a mouse. There are a lot of those in the world of Avatar. Maybe that finally explains his mysterious origins." Like many developments around here, that started out as a joke, and then we realized how much sense it made. As a bonus, it explains Chu Chu without adding that level of disappointing mundanity that the explanation of mystery characters so often risks. I mean, yeah, we know what he is now, but it turns out he's a dimension-trotting monkeymouse from a far-flung mystical realm who was hanging with Anthy for kicks, and in his day job he's a timespace transcendence consultant for an order of badass warrior girls. That's a pretty sweet gig.

[136] heh heh, rookies - A quote from the mysterious hot-rod-Mini-drivin' Buddhist monk in the original You're Under Arrest OVA.

[160] Flinging magnetic curses - Corwin paraphrases Carl Sandburg's Chicago, altering only the last word (in the original it's "cities"); Anthy quotes the next line exactly.

[183] Fifty zorkmids - I doubt the zorkmid is an actual unit of currency in Cephiro, but you can never quite tell about Kardon's homeland. Gothria is a peculiar place even by Cephirean standards. In my mind it's basically like the setting of the Castlevania games, only with cars.

[206] She bites - Corwin does not mean this literally.

[238] decorative torches - Not present in the original version of this location, I don't think, but I needed a way to get fire into the picture.

[242] or revolving doors - We had in mind that airbending exercise from the early part of The Legend of Korra when we designed the visuals for the veilbending dance. The airbending door exercise was, perhaps, a precursor to same.

[244] ugg-like boots - That's "ugg" as a generic term indicating a style of footwear, not as in a fashion trademark.

[249] a midsize duffel bag - Specifically a Rohan Drylocker 60. It's waterproof and available in Water Tribe dress blue!

[308] it's the third century, people! - Korra's homeworld uses the Standard Calendar, but in day-to-day discourse, they customarily reckon the year based on the time elapsed since a particular appearance of a particular comet, which happened much more recently than the "zero event" of the SC.

[314] Anthy's sherbet fancies - On the plus side, at least he's not advocating the employment of mimetic cluster mines. Those probably wouldn't work against zeppelin pirates anyway; they'd just fall to the ground.

[329] some kind of conspiracy - OK, sure, it's camouflage for a fairly large retcon, necessitated by the fact that, uh, Korra didn't exist (metatextually speaking) when the Symphony began. We think it works pretty well as an explanation, though, and having her arrive on the scene with only indirect prior knowledge of most of what's gone before, storywise - but with a ready-made personal connection to some of our protagonists - was a fun way of carrying on the injection of fresh perspectives we started in First Dates and Firefights.

[348] explain it to Kyoshi - Korra was somewhat surprised that Kyoshi left the place relatively intact. Did need to pick up everything afterward in the office, though...

[357] train surfing - Welcome to Republic City!

[415] GET BENT! -

[427] So You Didn't Know There Were Ten Worlds - A specialized primer for people who were hip to the whole Nine Worldsthing, but hadn't gotten the briefing on Cephiro. Only authorized for publication after Corwin and Utena opened the Tenth World to the other nine in 2406.

[456] what do you put in the noodles - Started out as "what do you put in the cornflakes", but upon review, Phil pointed out that Korra really isn't a cornflakes kind of girl.

[458] put the pool back - In the original draft of this scene, the pool was a duck pond, and I still think "Put, the duck pond, back." scans better; but it made more sense for there to be a swimming pool out here. It still probably hosts ducks for a couple of days each migration season, though. Anthy would've made it known that anybody flying past was welcome to stop off and take a break.

[480] tape measure and calipers - This was intended to hearken back to the screening process by which Dannen Ironbridge measured Juniper for her sword back in Ash Knight.

[506] Korra put on the ring - "and disappeared" were very briefly the next two words in the draft. Also, I admire Utena's forbearance here. It's one thing not to be fazed when your fiancé turns up with another woman on his arm, but an hour or two later he's putting a ring on her? It must've been tough not to crack wise about that.

[526] in Diqiu - What people from Korra's homeworld call the place. Also the Mandarin Chinese name for the real-life planet Earth (pronounced, more or less, "deecho"). Technically spelled "Dìqiú", but I couldn't be arsed.

[533] Big-Band Hits of the 170s - The years in which Korra came to Republic City were a boom time for Diqiu's equivalent of the jazz era.

[534] Dirk Daring - Also Atomic Robo's favorite old-timey radio thriller show.

[542] Lovebender - A very popular radio soap in Diqiu. Based on the premise, possibly familiar to us from the Luc Besson film, that love is the fifth element (the other four obviously being earth, air, water, and fire). This is complete bunk, but a lot of people liked the program anyway.

[558] there are certain risks - In the modern era, there's way too much going on in Diqiu for even a proactive Avatar to keep track of. As such, the Order of the White Lotus has evolved to form the Avatar's support network, handle fan mail, gather information, arrange diplomatic meetings, etc. However, a few of them are still a little bit touchy over the whole "Aang was missing for 100 years and the world went to pot", and now that the outer galaxy is available, they're doubly wary of what may happen should Korra get taken out far away from home.

[584] of 'once when I was five' fame - That was the story he started to tell Anthy at the end of Welcome to Your Life, in response to her request that he tell her something about himself that he hadn't told Utena.

[598] the Great Sky Bison Hijack of 2397 - Corwin still maintains that "yip yip" represents unforgivably weak encryption.

And Korra insists that "yip yip" isn't meant to be encryption; what do you want, car alarms attached to the sky bison?

[701] a way with animals - Interestingly, Duran isn't actually an animal, but apparently he's very thoroughly programmed to act like one.

[714] childhood partner in crime - Literally, in fact, but the records are sealed.

[818] Toronto Maple Leafs jersey -

Chosen by Corwin not because the Avatar has any particular allegiance to that team, but simply because their colors most closely match the traditional Water Tribe ones.

Though, several alternative modern universe fics tend to make Korra and the other Water Tribe members Canadian, due to their proximity to Inuit culture, so it works on a meta level.

[842] The Hockey Theme - Owing to the CBC's slightly amazing ineptitude at negotiation an extension to the rights, this is not actually the theme to Hockey Night in Canada any more in real life, but the hell with it.

[856] the Winnipeg Jets - This is actually the third NHL team to go by that name. The first moved to Phoenix in 1996 and the second didn't come back when the NHL (along with Canada) was reconstituted following the Fourth World War.

[885] taken from behind by Kruger! - Something NHL on NBC play-by-pay man Mike "Doc" Emrick actually said (about Chicago Black Hawks center Marcus Kruger) during one of the Stanley Cup Finals games while I was working on this scene. The repeated references to Kruger by last name during the commentary on those games had already sparked several jokes about Natsuki and Shizuru being at the Hockey Night in the North American Far North District showing, but this one really got the innuendo ball rolling.

[901] Karin Torborg - Is not actually retired, she's just doing Leafs colour (hey, whatever the EA says, it's still Canada) commentary while recovering from knee surgery. She'll be back next season. I'm probably the only person who cared about this, but I designed it anyway.

[903] the first hockey game - As seen in Hogtown Rhapsody way back in Symphony #1.

[1139] most populous city - Republic City and Ba Sing Se tend to trade off on the title of "Most Populous City", depending on the results of the last census and whether or not you count suburbs and outlying districts. Ba Sing Se was traditionally the largest populated city in Diqiu, even with its multiple walls, thanks to its large immigrant refugee population during the 100 Years War and the remnants of earlier lower cities that were still inhabitable. Republic City then became the upstart newcomer thanks to its invention of skyscrapers. Ba Sing Se took the hint and started building its own in the middle and upper ring (as populations spread into the lower ring). And then Republic City started expanding out into the surrounding mountain valleys...

For the record, Caldera City (the Fire Nation capitol city) tends to place in the top ten, but is usually constrained by the fact that it's built on the slopes and in the caldera of a (hopefully) inactive volcano.

[1206] completely ignoring Maki - In Corwin's defense, Korra's Satomobile (the one she's talking about here, anyway; as Phil notes, she has several) is pretty awesome. It's one of those racing ones.

In fact, Korra owns several Satomobiles and Satocycles, though she doesn't drive them very often (people just keep giving them to her!), preferring the Polar Bear Dog Express. However, she does at least know how to drive and has a license, having been given lessons by her good friend Asami Sato after it was decided that Korra had better learn before Republic City's electric company sued her for excessive lightpost damages.

[1253] hundreds... maybe thousands - Or, by some calculations a little under two hundred! Only the Avatar (and Brian and Mike) know for sure, and they aren't going to tell anybody else until they're good and ready.

[1309] she told me last spring - After the Koopman High senior prom, in A Night to Remember. Right before the giant monsters attacked.

[1364] mahjongg tiles - Actually tiles from a popular Diqiu game called pai sho. The pai sho accessory speakers for the Brassica personal music player are very popular items in the Cabbage Corp catalog, though the White Lotus set is a special order.

Members of the Order of the White Lotus get a special discount on certain items in the Cabbage Corp catalog. Masters and Grand Lotuses can even get the White Lotus tile set speakers for free!

[1434] I come from a world where... - Juniper steps comfortably into the traditional role of Doctor Who companion here, providing Korra with an excuse to explain the basic premise of the fictional setting from which she's been imported. We are indebted to the actual Anne Cross for the depictions of martial-arts techniques included here, and various tweaks to her, erm, avatar's dialogue.

[1468] my firebending sifu - She means the first one she studied with. Not that sour-faced guy from the first episode of the Legend of Korra TV show. "You're getting ahead of yourself as usual." He came later.

[1531] Doesn't make me special. - Korra's come a long way for her attitude to shift like this from her original "I'm the Avatar, You've Gotta Deal With It!" days. She no longer views being the Avatar as the be-all-end-all of her existence.

[1541] tangled with the Psi Corps myself - The Black Omega threat dossier on Korra is very interesting (if not very enlightening) reading:

telekinetic, question mark; 
pyrokinetic, question mark;
geokinetic, question mark;
hydrokinetic, question mark;
unexplained hydrologic thermal manipulation;
multiple personality disorder, question mark

[1551] Fear and anger - "Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate... leads to Admiral Zhao." ... er, wait, no, that's not it.

[1554] the Fire Within - And yes, technically the flawed firebending technique drew on Anger, Rage, and Hate, but Korra was trying to make a point here to Anne, that fear can often lead to the other things.

[1572] inner drive. Hope. Life. - As Aang and Zuko learned in the episode, "The Firebending Masters". Presumably the teachings spread as Fire Lord Zuko and Avatar Aang spread the word of peace and love through Diqiu after the war.

[1607] Anybody has a problem with that... - Though some things are just so ingrained in Korra's personality, anyway.

She was presumably wearing this favorite old shirt when she went to speak to the White Lotus about the recent scheduling issues.

[1632] opposed to my personality type - The reason this makes sense is that for the majority of Avatars before Korra, they were raised immersed in their particular elemental culture and bending training before being told they were the Avatar at sixteen years old. Hence, their personalities were already skewed towards their element's cultural biases, and the hardest one to master would be the one opposite their elemental personality type. Korra, on the other hand, figured out by herself that she was Avatar when she was four years old, and was immediately isolated and immersed in other elemental bending regimes, cutting her off somewhat from her initial waterbending heritage (though she's still proud of her original nationality). Being driven at such a young age to master all the elements, it's no wonder that Korra had such trouble learning airbending, since bullheaded stubbornness is the exact opposite of how you pick up airbending.

[1660] this is how firebenders salute each other - Each style of bender in the original show seems to have its own unique salute. Waterbenders do the fist-in-hand thing, airbenders do something similar with the open hand held upright, and firebenders put the open hand on top of the closed one. I'm not sure what earthbenders do. Punch the other person on the shoulder, if Toph is anything to go by (n.b. she's not).

From my observations, it would appear that the earthbender/Earth Kingdom salute is two hands clasped in a fist, the fingers interlocked. I'm pretty sure I saw the generals in Ba Sing Se using the salute.

Amusingly, that's the gesture that always accompanied the late Derek Bacon's stock quip, "Because the jokes tie together."

[1718] SavoyBook - Another great steampunk computing product from your friends at Cabbage Corp.

[1729] Republic City Tribune - Much like our own present day, a lot of the traditional newspapers of the 170's have fallen by the wayside, and those that have survived have done so through mergers and rebranding. You can't even pick up a copy of the Republic City Evening Post on the newsstands anymore!

[1731] baseball - Baseball became a popular sport post-Zipang contact, because it was a sport where benders and non-benders could compete without the emphasis put on bending, and that any uses of elements during play would be an automatically observed and recognized foul. Airbenders tend not to play (the only ones who could potentially cheat without being caught), but that's because there's a gentleman's agreement for them not to participate, and there's not enough of them around to play on multiple teams anyway. (They tend to play their own Airball games instead, among the four Air Temples.)

[1749] sky bison you didn't hear coming - Thanks to their natural control over the air, the medium by which sound propagates, sky bison can be really stealthy if they want to. It's just that most times, they don't want to.

[1851] ancient and honorable Southern Water Tribe art - Korra really did learn everything from Katara!

[1921] spirits of the North - A Draconian spell Umi learned from Nall, not part of her original Cephirean mage-knight repertoire.

[1943] the end of a long day - Exactly what that long day entailed will be covered in an entr'acte.

[1980] Delia Petrovskaya - A player inspired by Red Sox second baseman Dustin "Laser Show" Pedroia, who broke his thumb in the first game of this season and went on to start all but one game in the first half anyway, batting .316 and doing some amazing defensive work (including committing a grand total of one error in 96 games) along the way - after finishing last season with a broken finger. The guy just doesn't stop. If you couldn't tell? Kind of a fan.

[2040] the crystal sphere - Literally. There is one.

[2090] long before our time - As with her appearance in Operation WINTERFEST, this is Rose before New Albion; she's played the Professor for TV (though those episodes haven't aired yet at the time of this story), but hasn't actually become the Professor yet.

[2129] the traditional finery - This is the dress she has on in the fourth episode of The Legend of Korra Book I, or as close to as makes no difference.

[2196] Heather McClellan - After being mentioned several times over the course of the Symphonies, Heather finally gets a description and some lines.

[2300] elegant emerald-green robes - Here we see the Kyoshi Warriors as they customarily were in the time of Korra's predecessor, Avatar Aang. In this era, that's their full-dress garb, for very special occasions.

[2317] Somebody important from Diqiu - Post 100 Years War, the Kyoshi Warriors have evolved into something akin to a freelance secret service, providing at-need security for dignitaries and heads of state in Diqiu, Zipang, and out in the galaxy proper. Trainees continue to serve as Kyoshi Island's police force, until they're judged ready to serve abroad.

[2486] band... around each wrist - Being Duelists, they haven't really any need for another ring.

[2517] archaic and patronizing act - At military weddings, the custom used to be for the swordsman in the lead of the arch to give the bride a swat on the backside and welcome her to the Army. I can only assume that anyone who did this to Utena would, upon reflection, regret that decision.

[2573] dress she was wearing over her iso-suit - In fact, the same dress her grandmother wore back in Goodyear. She borrowed it for the occasion.

[2633] Commander Kruge - It didn't come up here, but B'Elanna's commanding officer is Krontep vathKesek's younger, crazier brother.

[2649] about to spar than dance - Inspired by the Aang-Katara dance in the episode "The Headband".

[2759] different garb, more suitable - Her stock costume from Book I of The Legend of Korra.

[2783] the arena she had wrought - Korra carries on the Avatar tradition of Kung Fu Landscaping!

[2787] Xian Jiang in the Park - Like Shakespeare in the Park, but different.

[2802] Except you - Much like Nall's speech at dinner (see 3495 below), this bit sort of wrote itself. I had originally intended Maki's speech to be the introduction to the unopposed demonstration the Kyoshi would ultimately end up putting on later, but when I got to that point, I realized that she wouldn't miss the opportunity to get a little revenge for Kardon's remarks. Their duel, and then the cycle of Kyoshi-v.-Duelist shows that followed, sprang straight from that.

[2876] the glint of sunlight from its gilding - In my head, this is a slo-mo, almost bullet-time, sequence, and one of my favorite visuals in this movement.

[2922] hajime - Japanese (or, in Cephiro, Nihonese) for "begin!", a traditional thing referees say to kick off bouts in several martial arts and martial sports.

[2968] Korra resurfaced the arena. - Sadly, Korra forgot to bring a baby badgermole to help with the resurfacing.

It's a little-known fact that all badgermoles are named "Zambo".

Also, that might be a lie.

[2987] Sumire Kanzaki ... and Shizuru Viola - For the record, Sumire won. But it was a close thing!

[3027] the similar items Korra was used to - Airbender glider-staffs. I considered having her ask Maki, "Did you bring it?", and use one of those for this bout, but Phil persuaded me that borrowing Rosenjäger would suffice (and be more symbolic anyway).

[3079] "Did you just - " - Another mental animation sequence I'm particularly fond of.

[3107] in practice, there was Iron - In Cephirean magic, stuff that comes from the ground is all basically the same thing.

[3122] almost entirely unlike - As would become obvious later, Korra doesn't recognize Corwin's earthbending style because it's not the usual one she herself was taught and is used to seeing others employ. He was taught by Toph Beifong in Valhalla, and uses the weird praying mantis style she invented herself (and which, weirdly, her own daughter does not appear to use).

[3145] gang-sign-like gesture - Sokka's influence on the Southern Water Tribe is evident, even after all these years.

[3177] everybody into the tub - Aang had kung fu zoo-keeping, Korra has kung fu hot-tubbing.

[3230] blind and has no manners - Technically, Toph has manners, she simply chooses routinely not to employ them.

[3305] a wholly separate cosmos - Dimensional engineers like Don Griffin refer to realms like Cephiro as "bubble universes", as a convenient shorthand for their completely independent but relatively compact existence (as opposed to pocket universes, which have to have a direct connection to something else, or parallel universes, which lie directly alongside each other and are of roughly equivalent spatial size.)

[3310] started stumbling across them - And now you know where Earth King Kuei's pet grizzly bear Bosco came from!

[3327] swordmaster on Zipang - Hikaru needn't worry - there's plenty of swordmasters on Diqiu that she could study from, and one school of firebending even includes a sword sub-discipline.

[3362] but in fact they had - You have to prioritize these things. (Only after I'd written this bit did I realize there's a fun parallel with the very first original Undocumented Features here - after they had their "oh, hey, we are going to be that kind of couple" Bonding Adventure, Corwin's father and Kei also retired to their quarters and... just went to sleep, because it was late and they were tired. Like father, like son, I guess. :)

[3395] Yugoda Memorial - Named in honor of the second-century Northern Water Tribe master healer Yugoda, who taught the art to (among others) Master Katara, probably the Southern Water Tribe's greatest waterbender and Korra's chief instructor in that discipline.

[3458] absent friends - Including but not limited to Kei, Saionji, Leonard and Kozue (who are not missing, but aren't available either), and - she'd be surprised to learn she was included in the thought - Nanami.

[3495] then he went and married the pink one - As noted in the discussion following the story's release, I was actually playing Nall's speech straight as I wrote it - well, as straight as it was, I mean, he is kind of going for a humorous tone throughout - until I got to the end, looked at it, and then typed that line pretty much by automatic writing, like some kind of fortuneteller. Looked at it again, thought about it for a second, and let it stand.

[3516] she was very disappointed - Wakaba, on the other hand, was going to open with snark and finish off serious right from the start.

[3570] an old, old friend - Aang, her predecessor as Avatar, forwarding nuggets of wisdom from still earlier Avatars Roku, Kyoshi, Kuruk, and Yanchen, as well as (last in the list) his own.

[3603] an adventure in the Quarian Union - As seen in Quarantena, back in Symphony No. 2.

[3631] as Corwin still was - And Utena hasn't not been one for long; her 20th birthday was only back in December.

[3659] "Sabotage" - I leave it as an exercise for the reader which member of the Art of Noise takes which part when they do Beastie Boys songs.

[3665] I always thought she had a pretty good voice - I remember Kate reflecting on this matter fairly early on, but can't recall exactly where. Perhaps one of you can find it.

From Christmas Rose.

Well, there you go, then.

[3674] husband-consort - A title used in Gamilon society to indicate a royal spouse whose marriage to the Royal Personage in question is an actual life partnership, as opposed to a political alliance. Archaic, since arranged political marriages haven't been practiced on Gamilon for some time, but still on the books, and Devlin rather likes the ring of it.

[3764] it's an afterlife thing - In Valhalla one tends to look as one expects oneself to look. It's kind of like the Matrix that way. With a bit of effort one can even change things up a little.

[3779] Metalbender Central - The "street name" for Republic City Police Headquarters. Above the main entrance is a giant gold statue of Toph Beifong as an adult in her police armor. Not to be confused with the Beifong Metalbending Academy, which is elsewhere in the city.

[3791] kindly fix the floor - I like that, over the years, Corwin has apparently decided the best way of dealing with Toph is to just speak calmly, let her get on with whatever she's going to do, and get on with whatever you're going to do in turn. I've decided that's why the ladies like Corwin so much: He doesn't try to change them.

[3794] the St. Spyridon Home for the Terminally Unkempt - Not to be confused with the St. Spyridon Home for Wayward Fight Girls, of which, frankly, Toph could also be an inmate.

[3811] You think Kaitlyn's trying to tell me something - Back in Sympathy for the Devil, I left this bit undefined on purpose for future expansion:

 ... His last relationship had dissolved
months before, for reasons he still didn't completely understand.
Since then he'd had an opportunity or two, here and there - he
was handsome, likeable, and eligible, after all - but he'd passed them
up, as gracefully as he could (well, -usually- as gracefully as you
could, he thought with a suppressed snort of self-mocking laughter)...

Well... I think we know now who that exception was.

[3822] something seems different about you - It was only a few days ago at this point that Hiroshi tested his "super-suit" gadget and found himself merged with a powerful energy being from Nebula M78 (as seen in Silver Guardian). He hasn't mentioned it to anyone yet.

[3870] her entire maternal line - Yes, this includes Aunt Mylene.

[3902] to hear Aunt Maia tell it - It's probably worth pointing out that Aunt Maia may tend to exaggerate certain things.

[3916] Maevis Copperwing - We've seen her: she works in the court of King Bahamut. She was the one who directed Corwin and Anne to his audience chamber in Ash Knight.

[3918] crossed out - Double payout for Mutual Loathing Sex; triple payout for Subsequent Alignment Change (Hers). Betty Forgeheart had some money on that one, largely because that's often how it's done in Eldgard.

[3938] 140 to one - It's even odds that Kaname's as upset about being ranked so low on the list, as she is about the list existing in the first place.

[3955] Looking sternly around - Sometimes, Kaname channels her Grammy Miria so well it's frightening.

[3956] give Corwin no more grief - In her own way, Kaname's just as much Corwin's wingman as Nall is. Somebody's gotta help protect the poor boy's reputation, after all.

[3992] "Hittin' on All Sixes" - You can imagine the entire next section consisting of the blues/swing/jazz music from Legend of Korra. Go buy the Book One soundtrack, it's awesome! And every purchase slowly helps convince Nickelodeon (we hope) that there's a market for the Avatar: The Last Airbender soundtracks.

[4049] Aah, well played - I particularly love the way Anthy handles this bit. She acts a little annoyed about it, but she's actually loving the way everyone is quietly expecting this to be an Awkward Time for her when it just isn't.

[4066] lugging a banded ironwood chest - Honestly, the Republic City Limited has transported weirder.

[4092] M. Jean-Jacques Ragulin - When last we saw Ragulin, he was leaving the Art of Noise's 2409 summer tour to immerse himself in the blues culture of Cephiro. It was only natural that he'd turn up here.

[4135] "Run-Around" - As Phil noted when this bit was in development, being a master airbender makes you a bad. ass. harmonica player.

[4214] a broad salarian grin - Have lived long, eventful life; seen much struggle, hardship. Good to see young people enjoying life. Better to help enhance their experience.


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
  RE: (S63) S5M4 Try, Try Again drakensis Jul-21-13 1
  RE: (S63) S5M4 Try, Try Again Polychrome Jul-21-13 2
     RE: (S63) S5M4 Try, Try Again BZArcher Jul-21-13 3
  RE: (S63) S5M4 Try, Try Again Mercutio Jul-21-13 4
  Addenda, 2013.07.22 Gryphonadmin Jul-22-13 5
  RE: (S63) S5M4 Try, Try Again twipper Jul-22-13 6
  RE: (S63) S5M4 Try, Try Again jonathanlennox Jul-22-13 7

Conferences | Topics | Previous Topic | Next Topic
drakensis
Member since Dec-20-06
43 posts
Jul-21-13, 04:59 AM (EDT)
Click to EMail drakensis Click to send private message to drakensis Click to view user profileClick to add this user to your buddy list Click to send message via AOL IM  
1. "RE: (S63) S5M4 Try, Try Again"
In response to message #0
 
   LAST EDITED ON Jul-21-13 AT 09:14 AM (EDT) by Gryphon (admin)
 
[Got to be careful with quoted-back links; DCF isn't very bright. --G.]

>[77] green tactical jumpsuits - This updated view of
>the Kyoshi Warriors comes from a bit of Avatar fanart Phil
>pointed me at during my initial discovery phase.
>
>Specifically,
>this one, by Silas Zee. And yes, the makeup is part of the standard
>uniform, and they are all firearms-trained, along with their other
>weapons.

And I win a mental bet, since that's exactly the picture I thought of when I saw that description.

>[427] So You Didn't Know There Were Ten Worlds - A
>specialized primer for people who were hip to the whole Nine
>Worldsthing, but hadn't gotten the briefing on Cephiro. Only
>authorized for publication after Corwin and Utena opened the Tenth
>World to the other nine in 2406.

I have to wonder how long before that it was written.

>[598] the Great Sky Bison Hijack of 2397 - Corwin
>still maintains that "yip yip" represents unforgivably weak
>encryption.

Yo, rocket boy. Most of us can't digitally squeak like droids do.

>[1541] tangled with the Psi Corps
>myself
- The Black Omega threat dossier on Korra is very
>interesting (if not very enlightening) reading:
>
>

telekinetic, question mark; 
>pyrokinetic, question mark;
>geokinetic, question mark;
>hydrokinetic, question mark;
>unexplained hydrologic thermal manipulation;
>multiple personality disorder, question mark

Carrying on with "Observe from a safe distance, preferably orbit, until we figure out containment." ?

>[2486] band... around each wrist - Being Duelists,
>they haven't really any need for another ring.

Indeed. They might start running out of fingers (and unless you train for it, it might do funny things to your grip on a weapon).

>[2517] archaic and patronizing act - At military
>weddings, the custom used to be for the swordsman in the lead of the
>arch to give the bride a swat on the backside and welcome her to the
>Army. I can only assume that anyone who did this to Utena would, upon
>reflection, regret that decision.

I half-expected Corwin to be recipient in a sense of 'get on with it, boy', but perhaps not a great idea there either. It worked well as was.

>[3916] Maevis Copperwing - We've seen her: she works
>in the court of King Bahamut. She was the one who directed Corwin and
>Anne to his audience chamber in Ash Knight.

Good to know.

>[3918] crossed out - Double payout for Mutual
>Loathing Sex; triple payout for Subsequent Alignment Change (Hers).
>Betty Forgeheart had some money on that one, largely because that's
>often how it's done in Eldgard.

I -was- wondering.

>[4092] M. Jean-Jacques Ragulin - When last we saw
>Ragulin, he was leaving the Art of Noise's 2409 summer tour to immerse
>himself in the blues culture of Cephiro. It was only natural that
>he'd turn up here.

I'd forgotten that. In the... week since I re-read that. Hmm. An elephant I am not.

>[4214] a broad salarian grin - Have lived long,
>eventful life; seen much struggle, hardship. Good to see young people
>enjoying life. Better to help enhance their experience.

"Us old folk go meditate on mistakes made in youth. You kids go make mistakes."

D.


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
Polychrome
Charter Member
418 posts
Jul-21-13, 06:34 AM (EDT)
Click to EMail Polychrome Click to send private message to Polychrome Click to view user profileClick to add this user to your buddy list  
2. "RE: (S63) S5M4 Try, Try Again"
In response to message #0
 
   >We're trying out a slightly different annotation format this time
>around: as well as line number callouts, we've included keyphrases to
>help direct you to what the notes are talking about. I started doing
>this while annotating Forum stories, which don't have fixed line
>numbers, and liked it enough that I figured we'd give it a trial run
>for a big story's notes.
>
>Also, this will probably help us find our place if anybody on the team
>has anything new to add upon further reflection later.
>
>Enjoy! Let us know what you think.

I think it helps a lot. It obviated the need for me to have the story open in Firefox's source viewer (which provides line numbers) in another window.

Polychrome


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
BZArcher
Member since Nov-8-05
556 posts
Jul-21-13, 08:44 AM (EDT)
Click to EMail BZArcher Click to send private message to BZArcher Click to view user profileClick to add this user to your buddy list Click to send message via AOL IM  
3. "RE: (S63) S5M4 Try, Try Again"
In response to message #2
 
   Another thumbs up for the new format here. Made it very easy to line up everything.

---------------------------
We will BUILD heroes!


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
Mercutio
Member since May-25-13
89 posts
Jul-21-13, 10:32 AM (EDT)
Click to EMail Mercutio Click to send private message to Mercutio Click to view user profileClick to add this user to your buddy list  
4. "RE: (S63) S5M4 Try, Try Again"
In response to message #0
 
   +1 to the new format here as well.

-Merc
Keep Rat


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
Gryphonadmin
Charter Member
12318 posts
Jul-22-13, 02:36 AM (EDT)
Click to EMail Gryphon Click to send private message to Gryphon Click to view user profileClick to add this user to your buddy list  
5. "Addenda, 2013.07.22"
In response to message #0
 
   LAST EDITED ON Jul-22-13 AT 03:14 PM (EDT)
 

[2802] Except you - Much like Nall's speech at dinner (see 3495 below), this bit sort of wrote itself. I had originally intended Maki's speech to be the introduction to the unopposed demonstration the Kyoshi would ultimately end up putting on later, but when I got to that point, I realized that she wouldn't miss the opportunity to get a little revenge for Kardon's remarks. Their duel, and then the cycle of Kyoshi-v.-Duelist shows that followed, sprang straight from that.

[3122] almost entirely unlike - As would become obvious later, Korra doesn't recognize Corwin's earthbending style because it's not the usual one she herself was taught and is used to seeing others employ. He was taught by Toph Beifong in Valhalla, and uses the weird praying mantis style she invented herself.

[3495] then he went and married the pink one - As noted in the discussion following the story's release, I was actually playing Nall's speech straight as I wrote it - well, as straight as it was, I mean, he is kind of going for a humorous tone throughout - until I got to the end, looked at it, and then typed that line pretty much by automatic writing, like some kind of fortuneteller. Looked at it again, thought about it for a second, and let it stand.

[3516] she was very disappointed - Wakaba, on the other hand, was going to open with snark and finish off serious right from the start.

[3811] You think Kaitlyn's trying to tell me something - Back in Sympathy for the Devil, I left this bit undefined on purpose for future expansion:

 ... His last relationship had dissolved
months before, for reasons he still didn't completely understand.
Since then he'd had an opportunity or two, here and there - he
was handsome, likeable, and eligible, after all - but he'd passed them
up, as gracefully as he could (well, -usually- as gracefully as you
could, he thought with a suppressed snort of self-mocking laughter)...

Well... I think we know now who that exception was.


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
twipper
Member since Jan-8-03
154 posts
Jul-22-13, 02:02 PM (EDT)
Click to EMail twipper Click to send private message to twipper Click to view user profileClick to add this user to your buddy list  
6. "RE: (S63) S5M4 Try, Try Again"
In response to message #0
 
   ><2633> Commander Kruge - It didn't come up here, but B'Elanna's commanding >officer is Krontep vathKesek's younger, crazier brother.

...

I get the feeling Janice & Company have caught an occasional ride with Commander Kruge.

Brian


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
jonathanlennox
Charter Member
155 posts
Jul-22-13, 02:45 PM (EDT)
Click to EMail jonathanlennox Click to send private message to jonathanlennox Click to view user profileClick to add this user to your buddy list  
7. "RE: (S63) S5M4 Try, Try Again"
In response to message #0
 
   LAST EDITED ON Jul-22-13 AT 02:45 PM (EDT)
 
>[107] Chu Chu - "Hey, Chu Chu's kind of a chimerical
>animal, it's hard to tell if he's supposed to be a monkey or a mouse.
>There are a lot of those in the world of Avatar. Maybe that
>finally explains his mysterious origins."

I loved this when I got to it -- this sort of thing is the essence of the brilliance of the UF cross-fiction synergy.

(It makes me wonder, too, if early Jyuraian starship engineers might have visited Diqiu.)


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Conferences | Topics | Previous Topic | Next Topic

[ YUM ] [ BIG ] [ ??!? ] [ RANT ] [ GNDN ] [ STORE ] [ FORUM ] [ VAULT ]

version 3.3 © 2001
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited
Benjamin D. Hutchins
E P U (Colour)