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Conferences Mini-Stories Topic #112
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DocMui
Member since Dec-12-05
35 posts
Feb-16-12, 11:04 PM (EST)
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"FI Mini: Coffee Run"
 
   This came about as I realized that, even in UF, there aren't many time-traveling doctors. I thought that it'd be amusing to see what would happen if two of them met and maybe tie up a loose end or two in the process. It's rough, talky and unfinished, but I hope that it's mildly amusing.

--Doc


MONDAY, DECEMBER 20, 2410

He loved Christmas, but he hated Christmas shopping. That was the purview of his wife. She knew him well enough to buy what was needed, and he helped her carry the packages. It was an exchanged that had worked for years. Besides, he didn't feel like wading into the crowd for a bargain.

The man in green and blue was sitting patiently on the mall bench. It was something he'd had long practice doing, especially since he was waiting for his wife. As such, he was in a semi-meditative state when he heard a familiar wheezing, whooshing noise. It was the sound of something that desperately needed a tuneup and it was instantly recognizable.

He sighed. Keriyn was a huge Professor Enigma fan, and she had adopted the TARDIS materialization sound as her ringtone for her phone.

"You know," he began without opening his eyes, "you could turn that down a little."

"So sorry," a male voice apologized. "She's been a bit grumpy lately. Is this seat taken?" The voice was oddly familiar, with a British accent and an undercurrent of amusement.

He opened his eyes and saw a moderately tall, thin man in a dark blue suit with red pinstripes. Over the suit was a light brown overcoat. His dark hair was somewhat messy, with sideburns, and his eyes sparkled with vaguely manic intelligence. Behind him was a blue police box, one that looked utterly out of place in the mall.

Pearson "Doc" Mui suddenly felt intimidated. Oh, the man in front of him was genial enough, but his reputation preceded him. He felt the brief, irrational urge to get up and run. He quashed it and instead gestured to the seat next to him.

"Not at all, Doctor," he said with what he hoped was a respectful nod.

"Thank you, doctor," the Doctor replied, somewhat amused. He took a seat and leaned forward, clasping his hands in front of him. "You know, it occurs to me that this is the first time that we've actually met. I mean, when you really think about it, there aren't many time-traveling doctors around in this universe, are there?"

"We've bumped into each other at parties and such," Doc pointed out.

"Yes, and it was always a rather brief contact," the Doctor noted. He arched an eyebrow and gave Doc a vaguely unsettling look. "Living 900 years, you get a feeling for how and why people act. If I didn't know better, I'd think that you were trying to avoid me."

Doc cleared his throat uncomfortably, but he did not squirm in his seat. That alone told the Doctor that he was on-target.

"Well, let's see," Doc began by pointing out his DeLorean in the mall parking lot. "That is my time machine. There are many who like it, but that one is mine. I like my time machine, even though it's not nearly as flexible as your TARDIS. Yes, she has some quirks, but I've learned to live with them.

"Second," he continued, "I consider time travel to be a hobby. I am a responsible hobbyist. Did you ever hear about American coins in Mayan ruins? No. Did you hear about spent power packs in Native American land? No. That's because I take great pains to minimize my impact on the space-time continuum, even going so far as to make sure my money is right.

"Finally, you have this little thing where you disable time machines from `amateur' travelers. So, yeah, that's probably why we've never had any in-depth conversation," Doc finished. "Also, there's this thing about the whole Q Continuum looking over my shoulder."

The Doctor frowned and blinked. "What?" It sounded more like `wot' due to his accent.

"The Q Continuum," Doc repeated. "You know, I'm talking about near-omnipotent, highly obnoxious beings who seem to enjoy meddling with people?"

"What?" the Doctor repeated, a bit louder this time. "I know about the Q, but...did you not get the memo?"

"What memo?" Doc asked, not sure if he wanted to know.

"The Q Continuum is gone, doctor. They've been sealed off from this dimension for years."

Doc gaped at the Doctor. "What? How? I mean, they had this whole nigh-omnipotent thing going for them. Who could seal them off?"

The Doctor rubbed his chin in mock contemplation. "Last time I checked, the All-Father had the authority. Seems he didn't take too kindly to the Continuum buggering off when the whole Ragnarok thing went down, especially after they'd promised to stand by him. He's not one to take kindly to oath-breakers, you know. So, he decided to seal them off for being such a bunch of twits."

"Whoa. They're really gone?"

"Been that way for years," the Doctor confirmed.

"So...what's with this persistent feeling of paranoia that I've had for years? Only the Continuum sparked that feeling."

The Doctor shrugged. "No offense, but have you checked your dance card lately?"

Doc mentally went through his list of enemies, both his personal ones and the ones that his friends had. It was quite a list, mitigated by the fact that 400 years was enough to make a few entries drop off. He grimaced expressively as he went through the ones who were still active.

"Yeah, that'll do it," he agreed.

"If anything," the Doctor said, "I should be annoyed with you! Do you have any idea how many flux capacitor knockoffs I've taken care of every time I'm in the neighborhood? Have you never heard of sensor-reflective coating?!"

"Wait, how many knockoffs--?" Doc asked.

"Sixty-seven attempts, last time I checked," the Doctor confirmed. "Fortunately for me, the flux capacitor is fairly easy to sabotage. Alter a few circuit pathways, and the test vehicle just sputters to a halt. That was the polite way of doing it. You don't want to know how badly I could have messed them up."

"I have an idea," Doc said. "I ran through some of the worst-case scenarios, and one of them was that half the traveler would arrive while the other half would be scattered through time." He shuddered at the thought. "Thanks for not going that far."

"I don't like to do that sort of thing," the Doctor said quietly. "Not unless I don't have any other alternative."

Doc decided to change the subject. "You know, you're not exactly what I expected when I heard of the famous `Doctor.'"

"How's that?" The Doctor tilted his head slightly.

"I always imagined you as a slightly awkward person, socially. You know, the geeky intellectual who has his own rules. I always thought you'd be the kind of guy who'd wear a bowtie all the time and maybe a tweed jacket, just to get the professor-like look down."

Now it was the Doctor's turn to grimace thoughtfully. "Bowtie?" he asked. "You mean, wearing one separate from a tuxedo? On a daily basis with a tweed jacket?" He frowned for a few moments and shook his head. "No, really can't imagine it. Not in this lifetime, no thank you."

Doc held up his hands. "Okay, okay, I was wrong. I've been paranoid of Time Lords since they waylaid me in mid-leap so many centuries ago."

"Now why would they do something like that?"

"You don't know?" Doc asked. He would have thought that if anybody had the answers, the Doctor would.

"Sorry, but much like you, I didn't get the memo. I was out and about, you know. Don't really get to Gallifrey too often. Actually," he admitted, "staying away would be a good idea for a little while."

"What did you do?" Doc asked.

"IT WASN'T ME!" the Doctor exclaimed, his pitch rising. "I was locked in a vault with Don Griffin at the time! Good man, looking more and more like Alec Baldwin every time he regenerates--which, thankfully, hasn't been that often."

Doc sensed that there was a Big Story that the Doctor probably couldn't talk about. Keeping secrets was something he understood.

"You know, why don't we stretch our legs for a bit?" he suggested. "I could use something to drink."

The Doctor didn't quite bolt out of the bench. "Wonderful idea! I have this craving for a good cup of coffee!"

"I hate coffee," Doc said flatly.

"What? What?! WHAT?!" The Doctor advanced upon Doc with each iteration. "You're over 400 years old, and you don't like coffee? How is this possible?!"

Doc shrugged. "I never cared for the stuff. And by my best estimate, I'm around--let's see, 40 years of leaping, 17 or so years of dimensional hopping, about a year cumulative of recreational time travel--around 494 or so years old. And the Starbucks is just one level below us," he pointed out.

"STARBUCKS?!" The Doctor almost cracked his voice with that exclamation. "Do you think that I'd actually stoop to sip that soulless, pretentious, mass-produced and franchised mangling of the bean?!"

"If you were desperate enough, yes," Doc said almost glibly.

The Doctor blinked and seemed to think about it. "You're right, but that's not the point here. What I'm trying to say is, you travel as much as I do, you find some really good spots." With that, he strode to the police box.

"How long will this take? My wife is still shopping, and she'd kill me if I'm not there."

"Five minutes," the Doctor said breezily, opening up the TARDIS door.

"Five minutes in this time plane, or five minutes total traveling time?" Doc asked.

"Does it matter?" the Doctor asked glibly.

"YES!" Doc exclaimed.

The Doctor sighed and shook his head. "You see, mate, this is why you're not enjoying your Christmas. You're too tense, too stressed, and too worried about people who are out to get you."

"For good reason, as you just pointed out," Doc reminded him.

"Oh. I did say that, didn't I? Well...never mind that, a change of scenery will do you a world of good. We are going to get one of the greatest cups of coffee I've ever had, and we're going to bring some back for Rose and your wife--"

"Professor Tyler is here, too?!" Doc exclaimed. "Is there some conspiracy to get me to unwind?"

The Doctor held out his hand and waggled it a bit. "`Conspiracy' implies malicious intent. I prefer to think of it as a mutual gathering for the benefit of a good man." His grin was almost infectious, and Doc found himself trying hard not to follow suit.

"Keriyn is in on this, isn't she?" Doc asked.

"Very much so. So, shall we be off?" The Doctor gestured to the TARDIS, and the room was, as expected, larger than the small confines of the booth.

Doc sighed and combed his fingers through his hair. "Why not? I'll come along while you get your fix of the evil bean. Where are we going, anyway?" he asked as he entered the TARDIS.

"I know a place in Constantinople that serves some of the best coffee--"

"You mean Istanbul," Doc interrupted him.

The Doctor grinned. "It's Constantinople where we're going. Where else can you get authentic Turkish coffee?"

Doc blinked. "WE'RE GOING ALL THE WAY TO TURKEY?!" he exclaimed, just before the TARDIS door shut. Moments later, the TARDIS dematerialized, fading from view.

Four and a half minutes later, the TARDIS rematerialized in roughly the same spot, albeit with the usual undulating noises. It stood there for a moment, apparently inert until the door opened.

"--always carry so many weapons?" the Doctor asked from within. He sounded aghast.

Doc didn't quite stumble out. "Well yes, Doctor, because I have this aversion to, I don't know, dying. I especially hate the thought of dying because I was unprepared!" He took a deep breath and dusted off his jacket.

The Doctor followed him. He was carrying a tray of small cups, an ornate ceramic pot, and a small dish of sweets. He looked satisfied and amused.

"All right, I admit that having you go slicey-dicey in that cave came in handy. It's a bit hard to adjust my screwdriver in pitch darkness."

Doc didn't quite throw himself onto the mall bench. The Doctor sat next to him, carefully balancing the tray on his lap.

"Is there anything your screwdriver can't do?" Doc asked, obviously tired.

"Pound nails for one," the Doctor said. "It is, after all, a screwdriver, not a hammer. Although, if I adjust it--"

"Don't. Start. Please." Doc leaned his head back on the bench and closed his eyes.

The Doctor grinned. "Admit it. You had fun."

Doc opened one eye and peered at the Doctor. A grudging smirk appeared on his face.

"Maybe," he allowed. "Somewhere in between nearly getting beheaded, being trapped in a cave, and finding a nest of Daleks, I might have had a little bit of fun." He opened his other eye and sighed. "I have to admit, it felt good to cut loose."

"There you go!" the Doctor exclaimed, causing some of the cups to jiggle precariously. "So, where would you like to go next time?"

"Can I have some time to think about that? Keri is partial to 1940's New York for some reason, but I'd like to avoid that time era."

"Any particular reason why?" the Doctor asked.

Doc shrugged. "I like keeping my arteries lard-free. Oh, and the whole anti-Asian thing was going on back then." He changed the subject. "May I ask why you're keeping the tray on your lap?"

"Rose said she'd be around in a bit. Your wife's not the only one doing Christmas shopping. The worst thing about this season is the endless loop of Christmas songs that keep trying to bore your way into your brain. Is there anything else to listen to around here?"

Doc sighed and dug out a portable music player. Turning it on, he couldn't help but chuckle.

"What? What's so funny?" the Doctor asked.

"I hope that you like The Proclaimers," Doc began.

"Are you kidding? I love The Proclaimers! Is it the 500 Miles song? Please tell me it's the 500 Miles song!" the Doctor said excitedly.

Doc nodded. "It's the 500 Miles song," he confirmed.

"Excuse me," the Doctor said, carefully putting down the tray. He seemed to be calming himself down, but the effect was shattered as he pumped his fist with a triumphant "HOHYES!!! Take THAT, endless Christmas songs! Queue it up, please!"

*****
"So, how do you think the boys are doing?" Rose asked. She wasn't carrying much, as she didn't have many people on her list.

"I'm sure they're doing fine," Keriyn said, balancing no less than five boxes in her hands while carrying half a dozen shopping bags. "Heaven knows, Pearson needed some fun in his life. He was getting to be a--"

"--grump?" Rose suggested.

"I was going to say--no, you're right, `grump' is a pretty good word for it. Hold on," Keriyn gestured for Rose to stop before they rounded a corner. Her brown secondary ears twitched slightly. "I didn't know that the Doctor could sing."

"He does it once in a while," Rose replied. "What song?"

"It sounds like `500 Miles.' Pearson's actually singing a duet with him. He almost never sings," Keriyn remarked.

"Bad voice?"

Keriyn shook her head. "Lack of self-confidence. He'd be the first to say something like, `I'm a doctor, not a crooner,' or something like that."

"Then this is a rare treat," Rose smiled mischievously. "I vote that we listen in."

"Seconded, and motion carried. Just don't spook them until they're done."

*****
And I would walk 500 miles
And I would walk 500 more
Just to be the man who walked a thousand miles
To fall down at your door

The two doctors finished the last stanza with a bit of a flourish, waving their hands. They rode the last bit of the song until it ended, totally ignoring the odd looks that they got from the shoppers.

They then did a double-take as they heard someone clapping politely. Doc froze, but the Doctor merely grinned and waved Rose to come closer.

"Care for some Turkish coffee?" he asked brightly. "I also have Turkish delight. It's fresh."

"I can vouch for that," Doc said, still looking faintly mortified. He knew that this was something his wife would never, ever let him forget, even if he didn't have an eidetic memory.

"You should sing more often," she said as she gave him a peck on the cheek.

"You are an evil, evil woman," he declared with a grin.

"I love you too, dear."

"Coffee Run" presented by Pearson "Doc" Mui
An Undocumented Features: FI Mini-Story
Exclusive to the Eyrie Productions Forum, Copyright 2012


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  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
  RE: FI Mini: Coffee Run DocMui Feb-17-12 1
     RE: FI Mini: Coffee Run Gryphonadmin Feb-17-12 2
         RE: FI Mini: Coffee Run DocMui Feb-19-12 3
             RE: FI Mini: Coffee Run The Traitor Feb-20-12 6
         RE: FI Mini: Coffee Run Pasha Feb-19-12 4
     RE: FI Mini: Coffee Run WereVulture Feb-20-12 5

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DocMui
Member since Dec-12-05
35 posts
Feb-17-12, 07:23 PM (EST)
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1. "RE: FI Mini: Coffee Run"
In response to message #0
 
   I take it back, it really is finished.

Now, some people (at least, those who aren't asking "who's this `Doc' guy and what's he doing writing a story?) are probably wondering why I did this.

First, I wanted to try something short and fun. I can do fun, but short stories have always been a bit of weakness of mine.

Second, I've always wanted to do a story with Doc and the Doctor, but I never had time to do the research until now. After all, as I've said, there really aren't many time traveling doctors.

Third, I didn't like the idea of the Q Continuum just lingering out on the periphery. The Q are a plot device. Any one of them can snap their fingers and the problem is solved (or, more likely, instigated).

Sorry, we already have gods, and by and large, they're working gods. They actually put some effort in what they want accomplished, and they don't sit on their collective butts just messing with "lower" life forms.

So, yes, the Q Continuum is gone. I'm sure that one of them got some digs at Jean-Luc Picard, but if he didn't--well, the universe didn't end.

Am I back? No. I'm just peeking in. I do contribute where I can, but mostly as a pre-reader and not a full-on Author.

So, hope you enjoyed the story. It's actually possible for two time travelers to meet without a) endangering or b) saving the universe as we know it.

--Doc


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Gryphonadmin
Charter Member
10914 posts
Feb-17-12, 08:55 PM (EST)
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2. "RE: FI Mini: Coffee Run"
In response to message #1
 
   >So, yes, the Q Continuum is gone. I'm sure that one of them got some
>digs at Jean-Luc Picard, but if he didn't--well, the universe didn't
>end.

Doc's solution was kinder than what I had in mind. I was considering having them all (well, except q, he's been thrown out of the Continuum since forever anyway) gunned down by a celestially-powered-up mortal hero specially selected by the Asgardian Office of Cosmic Threat Management for plausible deniability.

--G.
"DEADPOOL?!"
-><-
Benjamin D. Hutchins, Co-Founder, Editor-in-Chief, & Forum Mod
Eyrie Productions, Unlimited http://www.eyrie-productions.com/
zgryphon at that email service Google has
Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.


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DocMui
Member since Dec-12-05
35 posts
Feb-19-12, 01:03 PM (EST)
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3. "RE: FI Mini: Coffee Run"
In response to message #2
 
   >>So, yes, the Q Continuum is gone. I'm sure that one of them got some
>>digs at Jean-Luc Picard, but if he didn't--well, the universe didn't
>>end.
>
>Doc's solution was kinder than what I had in mind. I was considering
>having them all (well, except q, he's been thrown out of the Continuum
>since forever anyway) gunned down by a celestially-powered-up mortal
>hero specially selected by the Asgardian Office of Cosmic Threat
>Management for plausible deniability.
>

Now, Ben, I'm certain that in this great big multiverse, there are places which actually need obnoxious, near-omnipotent, vaguely sadistic, plot-device-level entities.

Those are not places that I would like to visit.

--Doc


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The Traitor
Member since Feb-24-09
322 posts
Feb-20-12, 09:06 PM (EST)
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6. "RE: FI Mini: Coffee Run"
In response to message #3
 
   An infinite expanse of drab, grey concrete, the only people put there purely to amuse capricious and all-powerful beings.

Twinned with Norwich.

---
"Yeah, I'm definitely going to hell/But I'll have all the best stories to tell" -- Frank Turner, The Ballad of Me and My Friends


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Pasha
Charter Member
608 posts
Feb-19-12, 04:10 PM (EST)
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4. "RE: FI Mini: Coffee Run"
In response to message #2
 
  
>"DEADPOOL?!"

"Hey, it's kinda neat how I can keep taking your spleens out, and they keep regrowing! Pretty soon, I'll have a big enough pile of spleen that it will collapse on itself from gravity. It'll be a spleen-nova!"

--
-Pasha
What was that feeling again?
Oh yes.
-Rage-


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WereVulture
Member since Mar-11-10
2 posts
Feb-20-12, 08:54 AM (EST)
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5. "RE: FI Mini: Coffee Run"
In response to message #1
 
   I actually laughed at this line.
It's actually possible for two time travelers to meet without a) endangering or b) saving the universe as we know it.

My wife asked me "What's so funny" i read that line. and she say's "Sounds like they should go out for coffee."


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