It's come to my attention that a lot of folks are having trouble navigating the Audix maze at Autobot Headquarters on Cybertron. Specifically, there've been a lot of misdirected messages thanks to the dial-by-name feature.

In the interest of untangling the mess, Autobot Information Systems Officer Blaster has asked me to drop you all a little note clarifying the identities of certain Autobot personnel and how they relate to the IPO.

Hot Rod is the commander of the Autobot 2nd Expeditionary Force, and a reserve officer of the 11th Wedge Defense Force Armored Cavalry. He's red.

Hot Spot is the leader of the Protectobots, an Autobot special action force who are currently employed as a World Welfare Work Association Trouble Consultant team. He's blue.

Hot Shot is a special agent of the Autobot Security Agency, reporting directly to Optimus Prime. He's seconded to the IPO as an Expert of Justice. He's bright yellow. This is probably the guy you want.

Grapple is Cybertron's Chief Architect and the bot in charge of the Construction Planning Office in Iacon. Hoist is head of the Autobot Expeditionary Forces' maintenance division.

Jetfire and Skyfire are both Autobot Air Guardians, but they're not the same guy. Jetfire's the one who looks like a VF-1 Valkyrie fighter; he's seconded to the IPO and stationed in New Avalon. Skyfire's the boxy one who belongs to the Cybertron Aerospace Guards.

Bluestreak has changed his name to Silverstreak. The old name still works for now, but will probably be deprecated some day, so get in the habit of using the new one. Please note as well that he is still an Autobot Cavalry gunner, and is not to be confused with Silverbolt, the Aerialbot leader and captain of the Cybertron Aerospace Guards. Who is further not to be confused with Silverbolt, the Maximal tracker and navigator of the IPSF Galactic Survey Ship Axalon. Aerialbot Silverbolt is listed first in the directory.

Windcharger is not and has never been named "Windbreaker". There is no Autobot named "Windbreaker". This doesn't really affect the voicemail system, but Windcharger wanted me to make it perfectly clear.

Also, when using the voice-recognition version of the dial-by-name system, please be advised that there is no Autobot named "Demolisher". Demolishor is pronounced to rhyme with "Pauly Shore", not "polisher".

If you don't know who Pauly Shore is, consider yourself fortunate.

Thanks for your attention to this. Hopefully things will start running a little smoother in the Autobot Audix maze now.

Love,
-V-

Just out of curiosity, what brought this on?

Offsides

[...] in order to be a realist you must believe in miracles.
    -- David Ben Gurion
EPU RCW #π
#include <stdsig.h>

So far I am successfully resisting the urge to add a Drunkard's Walk joke that Gryphon certainly would not get, and which would probably just annoy him either way...

-- Bob
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"You're trying to create art. They're going out for burgers. You know what I mean? Picasso understood this." -- Joe Bob Briggs

For some reason this bit broke me horribly.

Gah. Hot Shot's really something special. I'd have never pegged him for such a position/rank back when Energon (please let that be spelled properly) first aired. Cool. :)